ML and Ukrainian Women.

[Faux Pas]

 
 
The other day my son and I were watching TV and we decided to watch this new film in which he has the leading role of fighting crime in Eastern Europe. 
It was awful and Steven Seagal was worse. 
 
His clothing and the camera angles were selected to try to hide the fact that he has gained 30-40 pounds.  His hair looked more like a black rug than hair.   His skin was covered with dark cream  to give him that dark brooding look. 
The absolute worst was the fight scenes.  He had only a couple of moves which were very basic, and the film was sped up and superimposed with a villain to make it appear as if he  had actually moved.  No, that was not the worst.  The worst is that he is younger than me.

We watched 10 minutes.  It was good for a laugh.  He was worse than Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.  At least Marlon could act and Apoc Now was a fantastic film.

  I had an occasion to meet him for several hours about 10 years ago, while side kicking with a friend in charge of part of an event in which he was starring. Mama always said if you can't speak good of someone then don't speak at all, so I won't

[ML]

I recall reading some time back the TR by someone, can't remember his name.
Anyway, he used a lot of terminology re dating that I wasn't familiar with such as 'frame.'

I think he or some others also talked about 'high value' woman or man.  The idea was (I think), that if a man were perceived to be with a 'high value' woman, then other women would be attracted to this man.  I don't generally pay any  attention to such words or concepts, but . . . .

I noticed on two occasions recently that women who wouldn't normally smile at me, did give me a pretty good smile when I was walking up the stairs at basketball  games with my Gal.  Gal was dressed in tight jeans, tight sweater and high heeled Ukrainian style winter boots, hair done up nicely, etc.  The women smiled at me, not her.

So, who knows.

[Gator]

I recall reading some time back the TR by someone, can't remember his name.
Anyway, he used a lot of terminology re dating that I wasn't familiar with such as 'frame.'

I think he or some others also talked about 'high value' woman or man.  The idea was (I think), that if a man were perceived to be with a 'high value' woman, then other women would be attracted to this man.  I don't generally pay any  attention to such words or concepts, but . . . .

I noticed on two occasions recently that women who wouldn't normally smile at me, did give me a pretty good smile when I was walking up the stairs at basketball  games with my Gal.  Gal was dressed in tight jeans, tight sweater and high heeled Ukrainian style winter boots, hair done up nicely, etc.  The women smiled at me, not her.

So, who knows.

I wager a $100 that the women smiling at you were not your age.      

[Anotherkiwi]

I recall reading some time back the TR by someone, can't remember his name.
Anyway, he used a lot of terminology re dating that I wasn't familiar with such as 'frame.'

I think he or some others also talked about 'high value' woman or man.  The idea was (I think), that if a man were perceived to be with a 'high value' woman, then other women would be attracted to this man.  I don't generally pay any  attention to such words or concepts, but . . . .

I noticed on two occasions recently that women who wouldn't normally smile at me, did give me a pretty good smile when I was walking up the stairs at basketball  games with my Gal.  Gal was dressed in tight jeans, tight sweater and high heeled Ukrainian style winter boots, hair done up nicely, etc.  The women smiled at me, not her.

So, who knows.

That would be TwoBit Bandit - Sixteen Days in Novosibirsk.

[ML]

More on FSU superstitions.

Right now, my Gal is vacuuming  the house . . . on a Sunday.

But she will not do laundry on Sunday; because on more than one occasion when she did laundry on Sunday . . . something 'not good' happened.  And once she even violated this rule (after she has established it) because her child wanted something washed to take on a trip.  So she washed it; and the child became sick on the train.

And yesterday, I violated a rule and caused our basketball team to lose the game.

There was a very big crowd at the game, so we didn't get our regular seats. 

Our team was leading by 10 points at halftime.

Just before halftime, I scanned around to see if there were two seats empty at a better location.  I found them and said "Let's go there."
She: "We shouldn't move because it will bring our team bad luck."
Me: "Don't be silly, no one on either team will even know we have changed our  seats."

So we go to the different seats.

Other team outscored our team by 20 points in second half.

She was not a happy camper for a few hours . . . and even worse, now her point has been 'proven.'

[Maxx2]

[Maxx2]

More on FSU superstitions.

Right now, my Gal is vacuuming  the house . . . on a Sunday.

But she will not do laundry on Sunday; because on more than one occasion when she did laundry on Sunday . . . something 'not good' happened.  And once she even violated this rule (after she has established it) because her child wanted something washed to take on a trip.  So she washed it; and the child became sick on the train.

And yesterday, I violated a rule and caused our basketball team to lose the game.

There was a very big crowd at the game, so we didn't get our regular seats. 

Our team was leading by 10 points at halftime.

Just before halftime, I scanned around to see if there were two seats empty at a better location.  I found them and said "Let's go there."
She: "We shouldn't move because it will bring our team bad luck."
Me: "Don't be silly, no one on either team will even know we have changed our  seats."

So we go to the different seats.

Other team outscored our team by 20 points in second half.

She was not a happy camper for a few hours . . . and even worse, now her point has been 'proven.'

Have you ever analyzed how they think this is possible?

[JR]

When Steven Segal wakes up in the morning he knows it is because Chuck Norris lets him live ))

[ML]

Major new happening here.

As I reported much earlier, Gal came over with intent to get MBA to help her manage her money.

And this semester, just to hear some more English, she starting auditing two Calculus courses in addition to her Intensive English Program.

She starting really eating up this math stuff and even taking the tests, although not required.

One of the Professors is very senior and prestigious, and has a lot of 'pull' at the University.  He took note of her getting top scores on his exams (senior level undergraduate class).

On Friday, he surprised the sheeeeeet out of her by telling her that he had arranged for her to get a Graduate Assistantship starting in Fall semester, if she would decide to get a M.S. degree in Math.  And if she didn't want the GA, he would arrange for her to get a full tuition scholarship.

The difference is the tuition scholarship pays for all tuition (about $20,000) per year with no  work responsibilities.

The GA pays all tuition AND gives her $1,000 a month in salary; but she would have to put in 20 hours a week either helping teach a beginning course or helping a professor with his research, etc.

I told her to opt for the tuition only plan; but she likes the idea of getting the $1,000 a month.

From my standpoint:  She doesn't need the money AND her hours working would cut into the time she can be home with me wearing her French Maid outfit.

Plus (just to raise some blood pressures), it  would cut into the time she could be home scrubbing the floors on her hands and knees.

So we will have to arm wrestle about this.

[Gator]

Interesting.  I trust you told her how proud you are.
 
"I told her to opt for the tuition only plan; but she likes the idea of getting the $1,000 a month."
 
It is time to construct some charts showing the pros and cons of both options.   Please have one addressing entitlements, male and female.


 
 

[IAmZon]

just a splash of cold water ...


Umm, when you compress all possibilities into 3 - 10 days, and speak of things such as OW, VM, etc...  it makes me scratch my skull. The life I have lived is NOT like this.  Women are not like this.  Relationships - both good and the bad - are not like this.


When you describe "tendencies" and "generalizations", well that is one thing ... but when you try to apply them to the individual, that is another thing entirely.


I have come back to this board after many years.   When I first found it, I thought it was a gold mine of collective experience and impressions.  This time, I am seeing something less.


BUT, for the OP- thanks for sharing and I look forward to your future posts

[ML]

just a splash of cold water ...


Umm, when you compress all possibilities into 3 - 10 days, and speak of things such as OW, VM, etc...  it makes me scratch my skull. The life I have lived is NOT like this.  Women are not like this.  Relationships - both good and the bad - are not like this.


When you describe "tendencies" and "generalizations", well that is one thing ... but when you try to apply them to the individual, that is another thing entirely.


I have come back to this board after many years.   When I first found it, I thought it was a gold mine of collective experience and impressions.  This time, I am seeing something less.


BUT, for the OP- thanks for sharing and I look forward to your future posts

Did you post this in the wrong thread?

Can't see how it relates to my thread in general; and in particular I had no such 3-10 day visits that you make reference to.

[IAmZon]

yep - my mistake.  lo siento

[ML]

We have had, and still having, our first major problem in our otherwise wonderful relationship.

This concerns her return trip to Ukraine for visit with relatives this summer.

Not about whether to go, that has never been  an issue.

But about the timing.

Things to do here at specific times, vs going  there at a specific time.

This is where I find out where I really rank in the scheme of things.

[Hammer2722]

ML, Will you be going with her on this trip?

[ML]

ML, Will you be going with her on this trip?

No, I will not.  But that was never part of the plan and is not a point of conflict.

[Hammer2722]

Ah, ok! Understood.

[Gator]

You are showing signs that this woman is important to you.  Good.
 

My advice:  now is the time to say "I understand, I would feel the same if I had been away from my family, friends and America for a year."   You do not want to be thought of as an "egotist."  Almost as bad as "greedy."

[ML]

My advice:  now is the time to say "I understand, I would feel the same if I had been away from my family, friends and America for a year."

Gator, as I said:

Not about whether to go, that has never been  an issue.

But about the timing.

Things to do here at specific times, vs going  there at a specific time.

This is where I find out where I really rank in the scheme of things.

[Boethius]

Unless you're having surgery/attending a close family member's wedding or such, I don't think you can conclude that you "rank" somewhere below someone else in the scheme of things. 

At the end of the day, when you look at it, are you being petulant?

[ML]

At the end of the day, when you look at it, are you being petulant?

This question applies equally to both parties.

[Boethius]

While that may true, arranging a trip abroad is always a PITA.  She has classes.  In her position, I would want to go in the middle of my "break".


I suppose the compromise is a test of your relationship.  But remember, women who compromise all the time begin to resent it.  Then one day, she leaves and he has no clue why.

[Daveman]

I vote for the patented Vulcan Neck Grab! 

[ML]

While that may true, arranging a trip abroad is always a PITA.  She has classes.  In her position, I would want to go in the middle of my "break".

I suppose the compromise is a test of your relationship.  But remember, women who compromise all the time begin to resent it.  Then one day, she leaves and he has no clue why.

Yes, I know all about arranging trips abroad, having done it dozens of times.

Yes, she will go in the 'middle of her break.'  But it's a long  break, and within this long break  is where we disagree as to the timing.

And, not meaning to be tedious, but;   

men who compromise all the time begin to resent it.  Then one day, he terminates the relationship and she has no clue why.

[Boethius]

My point about the trip was about whether or not you are looking at the whole picture.

Have you told her whether or not she accedes to your wish is a test of the relationship?

How have you been compromising?  You won the "bread wars", didn't you?