Question on Email I received

[jdaco70]

Great advice, and very good points made.

Thanks Everybody!! it was a HUGE help!

Jeff

[BillyB]

Hi Everybody,

Hope all is doing well... SO, I have a question, there is a girl in Ukraine that I have been speaking too. Now, keep in mind, we have only been talking now for maybe 3 weeks now? Have exchanged a number of emails, and have been speaking on Skype between each other. Anyhow, here is her email...

 """"see that you share many of my thoughts. I see us doing everything together honey: maybe go fishing if you like, to go camping, go to the movies, .I would like to cook together, clean together, laugh together, and have a happy cry together. I want to walk on the park arm in arm. I am serious thinking about you. You are always in my mind. I am understood that you are very intelligent man. I am really in love with you and pray to god that we will live together as husband and wife for rest of our life. I need you as a husband ant partner. I will be very caring and loving wife for you. My love to you will be endless.  It is true. I admire inner beauty and your outer look very much. Here in Ukraine I have no man like you. I am looking for special man in this world. I am sure that the main women's duty is her family and home. For example my career will be on the second place.  I think you are very gentle man. Of course I would like a solid and decent man to patronize me. I hope you are such man. When I give up to the world of my dreams I feel that the world around me becomes fabulous and colourful. Since my early childhood I wanted somebody strong and kind to take care of me. I always think love to be ocean of feelings.
I like all your letters very much. I feel that the richest spring of love in inside ma.
I know you cannot fall in love with me very fast. But as for me I think that I am in the way to fall in love in you.
My best wishes and kisses to you.
Love.
Marina. """"""


Ok, So my concern here is the word LOVE coming from her already. Gosh, I know that I am no ugly duckling or anything, but isnt this a bit premature? Or, am I reading into this a little to much? She is definately a pretty lady as well, lives in Chermitzny?? (Spelling) A month in, is this really enough time for her to feel this way?

Jeff

Sounds like a scam letter to me and she probably got removed off EM because someone complained after getting the money request letter. Could be wrong though.

Get on the phone with her and get on the phone often. If her letter is real, she will want to speak to you anytime with an enthusiastic tone of voice. An insincere woman could only stay happy so long on the phone with a guy unless she has a steady stream of gifts and money constantly keeping her happy.

[groovlstk]

I am really in love with you and pray to god that we will live together as husband and wife for rest of our life. I need you as a husband ant partner.

When a woman barely knows you and starts using the L-word, you simply have to ask yourself what her motivation is. First off, she's lying to you, but you know that. There is no cultural imperative that makes Russian people fall in love more quickly than others. Is she a scammer? Maybe, maybe not. Is she desperate for escape from a life surrounded by endless poverty and sees you as her ticket out? Maybe, maybe not. The specifics aren't important.

All of the possibilities point to bad outcomes and if I were you I'd move on immediately. An adult woman doesn't go around professing undying love to someone she never met. Regardless of what motivates her you can be sure she doesn't have your interests at stake.

[Gator]

Yes, based on our collective experience, it is rare for a RW to profess love sight unseen.  However, maybe Jdaco and Shadow are the rare men who can prompt such feelings.  Meanwhile, us mortals.....

[jdaco70]

haha...gater...funny.. I wish!! Anyhow, she hasnt asked for any money, and we speak on phone and skype via web cam...So, I will just keep the radar up with this one and play it by ear for now. Guess it couldnt hurt to even meet her...Will see what happens! Plan B is definately coming into play with this one.

Jeff

[Aloe]

jdaco70,  please keep in mind as my most recent reply to I/O indicated, their will be exceptions to everything, real and sincere Ukraine/Russian women will never tell to a man she has never met that she loves him.  This letter is not real.  This was written by either an agency or a scammer.

lies, i told that to one guy, cuz i was very naive and thought i loved him, when i thought it possible over the internet.

[Aloe]

Before the meeting, few seemed to have deep feelings (maybe it was me   )  For sure, I never asked.  

You see, the thing is, when you are new at it and talking to someone over the internet, it is very easy to fall in love with the image of the person in your head, because you are under illusion that you know this person so well, while in reality your project your wishes of how you wish this person to be, and then fall in love with that image in your head. Then when you meet in reality, the image most likely gets shattered and shot to pieces, cuz it was mostly your imagination filling in the 1 million things you didnt know and couldnt know over the internet about this person. So it is very very possible to profess love to someone over the internet, while in fact loving that image in your head. And it doesnt make you any less sincerely minded woman. Just a bit inexperienced with how internet works

[jdaco70]

Very good point Aloe,

I would have to agree with you. I think the issue all falls to the fact of how truthfull you are with each other, because if you do not express yourself as who you really are as a person, such as your beliefs, personality, even how you really look! And then show up in person as something totally different, then of course, its all over rover!

To me, if you utalize all methods of communication, Skype w/ web cam, phone, email, letters...whatever...Meeting in person shouldnt be that much different, other than the physical contact part of course. Its all about being up front with who you are as a person, and what your expectations are to begin with, clearly laying these out in the begining so there are No Suprises. Of course I am a newb at this search, but this is just how I feel and only my opinion.

The tricky part for me is probably the cultural difference (way they think vs. US mentality) and knowing if they are being truthfull or not. Anyhow, guess I am about to find out soon enough! LOL

Jeff

[Aloe]

Very good point Aloe,

I would have to agree with you. I think the issue all falls to the fact of how truthfull you are with each other, because if you do not express yourself as who you really are as a person, such as your beliefs, personality, even how you really look! And then show up in person as something totally different, then of course, its all over rover!

To me, if you utalize all methods of communication, Skype w/ web cam, phone, email, letters...whatever...Meeting in person shouldnt be that much different, other than the physical contact part of course. Its all about being up front with who you are as a person, and what your expectations are to begin with, clearly laying these out in the begining so there are No Suprises.

There will be plenty of surprises, i think. Beginning with how the other person smells. Sometimes u meet a perfectly nice person, but their smell just repulses you, then what? They dont smell bad, they just smell wrong to you personally. No way to tell over the internet. Or another guy i met walked funny Or huge freckles on the head (you dont make photos of top of your head usually) Or god forbid loud snoring Or how you react to a conflict. Or how you react to a conflict with somebody else. How you act with money. No words can really give a proper picture. As was pointed out in another topic, somebody who is being frugal in their opinion (thus describing himself over the internet as responsible and frugal with money) may come off cheap and stingy to the woman, who thought it was good that he is frugal, but they just have different understanding of the words. Or just the way you or she hold herself. I know this one person who comes off extremely arrogant, without actually being so. Its just the way she holds herself, and its a turn off for everyone. Everybody has their own way, and you cant really tell over the internet, even with a cam. There is infinite amount of tiny little nuances that we imagine about the other person, without realizing we do that, without having any actual way to find them out for real until some face time. Also infinite amount of nuances that we havent imagined but that are there.  
You can only hope you both will like what you discover, or that you are so lucky to meet someone exactly like you imagined them

[Sculpto]

I have mixed feelings about this scenario myself.  The twist is skype.

The things Aloe has said are really valuable. 

I think my main concern is not that this lady is going to pull a short term scam, but, that she may be looking for a mule to "save" her from life in a rather dismal place that may be getting worse.  This is a much more difficult scenario to identify and predict. 

The only way to be sure would be to make multiple trips to see her over an extended period.. at least 18 months.. that is assuming things go well on your first trip.  But, I have the feeling they may go too well.. she might be too perfect.  I would keep an eye out for that.

I would also pay very very close attention to how she reacts to anything that is not exactly how she wants it.  If she gets really bent out of shape over deviations from HER plans.. that would be a big warning sign.

[SomeGuy]

I think the first thing you should do is contact EM and see why her profile was removed. Was it removed by EM or did the lady remove it herself. I think this will greatly answer your question for you.
If EM removed they did so for a reason. If she removed herself why would she if she has intention to scam?

+1

One thing I have always wwondered about these forums is the help people get. over time I found the forum useful for those who have found someone and are now going through the immigration process. it is a good source of information for honest agencies etc...BUT...... I have always found it a poor source for relationship advice. I think more relationships were hurt then helped. Too many live by the code that there is a handbook for Russian Women Dating. To them this handbook has a set of rules and sequence of events and how they should happen and when they should happen and if anything falls out of place of those rules or something happens out of sequence then it is a scam and time to run.

I have also seen over the years that those who are married to a RW pretty much broke all those rules and followed a different set of events. Myself included. Had I followed the set guidelines I have seen written many times I would not be married.

+2

Is it impossible to fall in love over the internet or develope feelings for someone in 3 weeks? No it is not. It has happened and it is happening everyday. Would we even be having this discussion if it were an American Woman he was writting to?

+3

There are some good observations given there.

One more, as well, from Aloe.

You see, the thing is, when you are new at it and talking to someone over the internet, it is very easy to fall in love with the image of the person in your head, because you are under illusion that you know this person so well, while in reality your project your wishes of how you wish this person to be, and then fall in love with that image in your head. Then when you meet in reality, the image most likely gets shattered and shot to pieces, cuz it was mostly your imagination filling in the 1 million things you didnt know and couldnt know over the internet about this person. So it is very very possible to profess love to someone over the internet, while in fact loving that image in your head. And it doesnt make you any less sincerely minded woman. Just a bit inexperienced with how internet works

On this part,

I would have to agree with you. I think the issue all falls to the fact of how truthfull you are with each other, because if you do not express yourself as who you really are as a person, such as your beliefs, personality, even how you really look! And then show up in person as something totally different, then of course, its all over rover!

To me, if you utalize all methods of communication, Skype w/ web cam, phone, email, letters...whatever...Meeting in person shouldnt be that much different, other than the physical contact part of course. Its all about being up front with who you are as a person, and what your expectations are to begin with, clearly laying these out in the begining so there are No Suprises. Of course I am a newb at this search, but this is just how I feel and only my opinion.

The tricky part for me is probably the cultural difference (way they think vs. US mentality) and knowing if they are being truthfull or not. Anyhow, guess I am about to find out soon enough! LOL

I also tend to agree.  A lot *can* be learned over email, phone, Skype, but that also supposes each person is honest and making the same effort.  Given enough time and some common sense, many people can get at least a reasonable idea of who each other is as a person, good or bad.  Usually.  Often enough though, people do as Aloe mentioned, or simply don't use the tools that they have to look or dig deeper.

I still think that Jack is probably on the money.  Almost nothing is impossible, but it is quick, especially if she initiated it without something similar from you.  I would at least advise caution, ask some questions, maybe not directly about that email, but just pay attention to what is said, see if she is pushing or if anything seems off.  Only you know the full context of your exchanges, or the girls real personality, if this is in character for her or not based on what you know.  

Be careful on what you are willing to write off as cultural differences, as well.

[2tallbill]

I like all your letters very much. I feel that the richest spring of love in inside ma.
I know you cannot fall in love with me very fast. But as for me I think that I am in the way to fall in love in you.
My best wishes and kisses to you.
Love.
Marina. """"""


Ok, So my concern here is the word LOVE coming from her already. Gosh, I know that I am no ugly duckling or anything, but isnt this a bit premature? Or, am I reading into this a little to much? She is definately a pretty lady as well, lives in Chermitzny?? (Spelling) A month in, is this really enough time for her to feel this way?

Jeff

Danger! Danger!
No good girl will tell you that she loves you after a few weeks of internet discussion.