Phone etiquette

[Gef]

Probably sounds lame to some here but I wonder about the general attitude of FCU women regarding phone calls. Rather when to call? Some agencies such as OriginClub sell addresses and phone numbers of their clients. Cynic that I am I can think of ways they can be tricky about it. But anyway, does it really matter when you call them or should you ask them first in an e-mail? Maybe keep it short, enough to say hello etc? I am a private person so I definitely want to respect their privacy. I have exchanged 2 letters with a lady in Ukraine so far and would like to call her ASAP. Opinians? Thanks.

[mischief]

My advice is to ask in email whether you can call her…then write exactly when you're going to call her. Even if her English is fine, ladies want to be ready emotionally for the first few calls...  a friend of mine met her boyfriend before but when he unexpectedly called after that she hang up on him just because she wasn't ready for this conversation…

[Shadow]

Agreed.... e-mail her and ask her when the best time is to call. It does not have to be a fixed appointment, you can agree a general time span.

Remember that sometimes phone lines can be shared serially, which means that if you call the neighbours can not receive any calls. Als she might want a time when she is alone and relaxed.

And do not forget about the time difference..... a woman at 4 a.m. will not be friendly on the phone

[TigerPaws]

[size="4"][color="blue"]Shadow is right on.[/color]
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[Son of Clyde]

I have noticed that some ladies in FSU may abruptly end a call. Do not be concerned, she did not hang up on you on purpose. She may not know how to end the call or she may assume you have finished. On the other hand, she may keep you on the phone forever.

[RussianGal]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

I have noticed that some ladies in FSU may abruptly end a call. Do not be concerned, she did not hang up on you on purpose. She may not know how to end the call or she may assume you have finished. On the other hand, she may keep you on the phone forever.

Or she just got disconnected. Which happens often too.

[BC]

Most conversations I have observed between RU folk do seem to end quite abrupt.

No long bye bye's exchanged.. a simple horosho or davai and the deal is done.. tak.

[Jet]

Or she just got disconnected. Which happens often too.

 

Yeah, this is something to be prepared for as well! Depending on where she lives, the phone service may be substantially less than wonderful, and you might have to call a number of times to get through. You may also discover frequent disconnects.

While my wife still lived in Russia, her phone seemed to work exactly 1 hour per day - the problem was, we never knew which hour that was going to be! :huh:

She also "shared" the wires with the flat next door, so if they picked up the phone to make a call, it dumped ours. If it rained, no calls in or out for 3 days

[Elen]

With my ability to understand vocal English I stop catch anything to 20 minute of call  :?

[Ste]

With my ability to understand vocal English I stop catch anything to 20 minute of call  :?

That's the problem we had, it's surprising how much you need to see people articulate to understand properly.

Plus my Gritty Northern but sexually alluring Lancashire accent has been tainted with Dumfriesshire dialect after ten years in the Debatable Lands making it hard for anyone to understand me at all it seems!

Mac Ste

[catzenmouse]

Yeah, this is something to be prepared for as well! Depending on where she lives, the phone service may be substantially less than wonderful, and you might have to call a number of times to get through. You may also discover frequent disconnects.

While my wife still lived in Russia, her phone seemed to work exactly 1 hour per day - the problem was, we never knew which hour that was going to be! :huh:

She also "shared" the wires with the flat next door, so if they picked up the phone to make a call, it dumped ours. If it rained, no calls in or out for 3 days

We had one stretch (about 4 months before Elena came here) where for about 10 days we would get a connection just long enough to say "Hello" and we'd get cut off. Extremely frustrating! To have an hour long conversation don't be surprised if you have to call back multiple times on any given occasion.

Ken

[525i]

If you call to her phone at home, it is possible that you will be disconnected just after you say her name. Her mother or someone living in the same address might answer and when she notices your accent she realises that it's a foreigner and she just hang up, because she does not know what to say. This happened with me few weeks ago. She wasn't at home and her mother answered. I called her couple of time, always with same results until later in e-mail she told it was her mother.

If she gave her phone number, she expects you to call any time. In fact she is waiting for it.

She might work long days. Do not call in the morning until you know her better and her usual daily routine. In the morning she will not have time to talk with you. She probably leaves from work around 18:00-20:00 (6PM-8PM). I have had the best success rate between 21:00 and 22:00. I mean she will answer. What did you think of?

I just started communicating with one woman living in Kiev. Yesterday I called her for the first time. I called her at 21:00 and 22:00 and she answered to my third call at 22:30. She was at home and watching TV. We had a very pleasant conversation during 21 minutes (I just checked it from my mobile). Her English was fluent and it was very nice to talk with a woman I could understand and she understood me. In twenty minutes we talked about many things.

I know it's a quite frustrating to talk with a woman who does not speak English well. If in her profile she says that her English is fair, it's possible that she will not understand most of what you are saying. If you try to make her talk, she will not talk much. Fifteen minutes with her will be long and you will not learn about each other much.

Yes, I am very excited about the woman I called yesterday. It seems to me she likes me too. I could hear it and her e-mail today confirmed this.

I live in Finland and we have the same time zone as they have in Ukraine, so it's very easy for us. If you live in CA, the best time for you to call to Ukraine is from 11AM to 12:30AM. And I did this with my ex when I was in CA last spring. We are very good friends now. We both realised that our relationship was not as good as relationship needs to be for living together and for marriage. I call her once in a week and we talk about 15 minutes.

[Albert]

As some have noted, many people in FSU have quite strange phone habits.  On more than one occassion with more than one woman, I have had members of her family hang up the phone after I asked for her by name.  And, no, it wasn't that they didn't want the woman to talk to me.  It was just, if they don't understand what you are saying, the first thing that comes to their mind is . . . . hang up.

Later, when I talked with the women, I would mention the earlier call.  They would say something like . . . . oh yes, my mother mentioned that someone called speaking a strange language.  Then I would say . . . . didn't your mother know that an English speaking man might call you.  Answer . . . yes.  And were you in the house when your mother answered the phone.  Answer . . . yes.  Then why didn't your mother say that a strange sounding man was on the phone.  Answer . . . . she just never thought to tell me.

As I say, this was not an isolated case.

[catzenmouse]

I was never hung up on by Elena's family but the conversations would probably have been quite funny to someone listening who understood English and Russian.

Ken

[al-c]

If I am going to call where there are other family members, I agree to a time and date and call promptly, and I ask who might answer the phone, if they speak English, and could she please tell them that the call is coming so they know to hand the phone to her.

I never had a problem doing it this way.

And yes, I always agree to a time with e-mail in advance.  It is hard enough for her to be emotionally ready and deal with communicating with a man who she sees as a potential husband in a secondary language from a different culture, but to surprise her with it at a potentially inconvenient time is really unfair to her.

 

[Wayne]

Oksana had a problem with her land line telephone during the extreme cold in Krasnoyarsk, Siberia.  The wires get shorter when it is cold and pull away from the poles.

If your girl has a cell phone, it is usually easier to reach her, although she has to pay to receive the call.

 

 

 

[al-c]

Oksana had a problem with her land line telephone during the extreme cold in Krasnoyarsk, Siberia.  The wires get shorter when it is cold and pull away from the poles.

If your girl has a cell phone, it is usually easier to reach her, although she has to pay to receive the call.

 

 

 

And you have to pay more to call her.  I always get fewer minutes on my international calling card when I call to a cell phone.

 

[catzenmouse]

Oksana had a problem with her land line telephone during the extreme cold in Krasnoyarsk, Siberia.  The wires get shorter when it is cold and pull away from the poles.

If your girl has a cell phone, it is usually easier to reach her, although she has to pay to receive the call.

OFF TOPIC POST!

 Wayne,

 If your lady is here and would like to talk to another Siberian girl let me know and I'll PM you our phone number. Elena is from Omsk.

Ken

END OFF TOPIC POST!

[Todd]

Other things to think about when calling from the US....

Don't call over holidays or weekends if you can avoid it.  The circuits tend to be jammed and it can lead to a great deal of dropped calls.

If for some reason you can't get through, immediately send an e-mail letting the woman know you are trying to get through.

Calls over the internet (I used yahoo chat) are free and are much more likely to get through. 

Others have already mentioned "Know your lady's living situation".

If you get a good connection, don't assume that you will be able to get it back in a few days.  Take advantage of a good connection to talk about topics that are important to both of you.

Talk slowly.  Remember they are not trained to understand American accents.  She is likely to have a slightly British sounding English.  Kate does pretty well with my flat midwestern accent but the southern accent she can't understand.

Ask if it is easier for them to talk or listen.  I always prefer listening to talking, but for them, listening may be easier.

If it is important, say things in more than just one way so that you increase your likelihood of being understood.

 

Hope this helps,

 

Todd