more single men than women article

[Jooky]

more attractive and eligible women online

RW are much more open to meeting quickly for a date than in the case in North America and they will let you know quite openly if they are interested.

Again, these have nothing to do with a 9/10 women/men ratio or vice versa. 'Attractive' and 'eligible' have to do with quality and not quantity. Russian women being more open to first date is more cultural and specific to our situation. As foreigners in a foreign land we're automatically more interesting.

Even in Russia it's your specific situation that matters.

For example, if I go to a night club in Novisibirsk there are plently of nice looking girls and yup, there are more men than women ... at that night club. Now if I go to a bar next to the flat I was renting, there are zero women. Just a bunch of dudes getting wasted.

And lawyers, as far as from my own experience, are usually not the most attractive people, socially.

Well, the guy claiming he can't find women because there are 10 men to 9 women is a lawyer, so maybe he's not as great of a catch as he thinks he is.

Anyways, my example wasn't specific to lawyers. I could have said stockbroker or business man, or basically any other downtown type of job that's usually accompanied with after work happy hours and weekend socializing.

[Misha]

For example, if I go to a night club in Novisibirsk there are plently of nice looking girls and yup, there are more men than women ... at that night club. Now if I go to a bar next to the flat I was renting, there are zero women. Just a bunch of dudes getting wasted.

Jooky, I never looked for dates in night clubs, so I never worried as to how many women there were or weren't. What I do know that there were always plenty of attractive women online no matter which city in Russia where I happened to be when I was single and looking 

[Boethius]

And lawyers, as far as from my own experience, are usually not the most attractive people, socially. Analytical mindset. Boring. Too serious. Too cautious. There are exceptions, though

Evidently, you didn't go to school with my classmates, Lily.  There were a lot of wild men among them.  In fact, most of them were pretty wild.  Every Friday at law schools for decades, there have been/are today parties, lots of beer/wine, hook ups.  I know a lot of couples who met at those socials.  Most law firms carry on the tradition (the party part, not the hook up part).  

Now of course, all my classmates are middle aged, but some of them are still a little wild.

[OlgaH]

 Most law firms carry on the tradition (the party part, not the hook up part).  

Having been living in US for 4 years I can confirm they do carry traditions.   
Due to our job I have met many lawyers (of different age groups).  By my own experience I would rather say that the socially unattractive and boring people among them are exceptions. The same experience I had with lawyers in Russia.     

[Gator]

If finding oil was simply a question of drilling holes, we would have oil selling at less than $5-a-barrel  

You are too smart to miss the point, yet you do.  Why?

Searching online in Canada, there were few women in my city online and you would have to spend weeks wooing them in the hopes of a first date. Forget about women in other cities as they were not interested, in my experience, in long-distance relationships.

I see.  You only drilled one hole, online dating, and it was dry.  

Babe Ruth struck out many times more than he hit home runs.  You didn't go to bat.

To find women, you have to get out of the house.  Your little village surely has yoga classes?  The chicks who do yoga are fine women in my opinion, and meanwhile you are improving your flexibility and balance while strengthening your core.  

Assuming your village is not a green tea, brown rice and yoga place, surely it has arts and crafts classes.  These are frequented by far more women than men.  Shop where women shop and chat them up.  Once you meet a woman, you get introduced to her social circle thereby expanding your contacts.  

Everybody you meet socially probably knows some single women.  Ask if they know someone.

Yes, you will encounter much rejection.  So what!  That is her loss, not yours.  There are so many ways for bumping into women and just chatting.  Women like men who can talk with them and make them feel comfortable.  IMO these ways cumulatively cast a much larger fishing net than  introverted  letter writing.  

If the only social event in your village involves John Deere tractor pulls, then you need to drill holes in other places such as Russia.  However, just because you did not succeed at this does not mean all men fail.

[OlgaH]

...  and meanwhile you are improving your flexibility and balance while strengthening your core.  

http://www.politelyobnoxious.com/2010/01/28/yoga-vs-alcohol/   

[GQBlues]

Then don't respond. 

 :evil:

The only thing that a man can do in order to improve his dating chances, is to increase his desirability. Same for a woman.

Absolutely agree.

To find women, you have to get out of the house.

...and actually be seen? It's obviously tough enough as it was behind his computer.

It matters little if men live in a small village where there's only 1 suitable woman out of 10 in a total population of 20,000 women. That's still 2,000 suitable women no matter how you look at it. You can date a different one everyday of the year and you'll have over 5 years worth of dating inventory. What will it take? Goes back to what Lily said and I quoted above.

2,000 women. Hit on 50 of them in a week's time and even if you're only batting a measly 10 percent, you'll still manage 5 dates in a week.

[Eduard]

You are too smart to miss the point, yet you do.  Why?

I see.  You only drilled one hole, online dating, and it was dry.  

Babe Ruth struck out many times more than he hit home runs.  You didn't go to bat.

To find women, you have to get out of the house.  Your little village surely has yoga classes?  The chicks who do yoga are fine women in my opinion, and meanwhile you are improving your flexibility and balance while strengthening your core.  

Assuming your village is not a green tea, brown rice and yoga place, surely it has arts and crafts classes.  These are frequented by far more women than men.  Shop where women shop and chat them up.  Once you meet a woman, you get introduced to her social circle thereby expanding your contacts.  

Everybody you meet socially probably knows some single women.  Ask if they know someone.

Yes, you will encounter much rejection.  So what!  That is her loss, not yours.  There are so many ways for bumping into women and just chatting.  Women like men who can talk with them and make them feel comfortable.  IMO these ways cumulatively cast a much larger fishing net than  introverted  letter writing.  

If the only social event in your village involves John Deere tractor pulls, then you need to drill holes in other places such as Russia.  However, just because you did not succeed at this does not mean all men fail.

Phil, again I'll say that you have this optimistic outlook because your age parameters for women are diffferent from what mine were when I was single and looking. If your age criteria is 45 to 55 yo then I would agree with you that there are plenty of single women in Tampa Bay area, even south of you, where I live. But if you are looking for women 25 to 40 you will have a very tough time finding a single one who is not a stripper, gold digger or party girl who is dating 3 guys at a time.

[Misha]

You are too smart to miss the point, yet you do.  Why?

My, someone is annoyed that I questioned his metaphor 

I see.  You only drilled one hole, online dating, and it was dry.

No, drilled many holes. I went to a local dating agency, told the woman my criteria (educated, mid-twenties to early thirties), she could not come up with one possible candidate. True, I don't do nightclubs. Did not want to even consider dating anybody at work and there were no single women that I was interested in my other social circles. Had I stayed in Canada, I would certainly have tried other options, but I had the good fortune of going to Russia  Made life much easier.

Babe Ruth struck out many times more than he hit home runs.  You didn't go to bat.

As noted, this is false.

To find women, you have to get out of the house.  Your little village surely has yoga classes?  The chicks who do yoga are fine women in my opinion, and meanwhile you are improving your flexibility and balance while strengthening your core.

So, before marrying your ex-wife from Russia, were you going to yoga classes?  :evil: Why didn't you marry a Floridian instead of going to Russia? I had to go to Russia for work, so I preferred dating to yoga. Was easier, and a lot more fun 

Yes, you will encounter much rejection.  So what!  That is her loss, not yours.  There are so many ways for bumping into women and just chatting. Women like men who can talk with them and make them feel comfortable. IMO these ways cumulatively cast a much larger fishing net than  introverted  letter writing.

And, why exactly should I care? I am now happily married and will be celebrating our 4th anniversary later this month. The "introverted letter writing" worked for me in Russia  :evil: I have no regrets. It is not always easy being married to woman from another country, but I do realize that I am quite fortunate in having married such a wonderful woman. However, I have no need to aggrandize myself and present myself to a group of online strangers as something that I am not.

The thing is that different men have different preferences when it comes to dating. Some approaches "fit" some men better than others. Should I judge other men based on this? Should I seek to put them down because they are better suited to approach A as opposed to approach B?

Nonetheless, I find it odd to have men who are married (or divorced) from Russian women claiming that they had so many options at home, yet somehow magically ended up married to women from another country....   

If the only social event in your village involves John Deere tractor pulls, then you need to drill holes in other places such as Russia.  However, just because you did not succeed at this does not mean all men fail.

Remind me again, why did you spend all that time in Russia  I am honest: it would have been pretty close to impossible to find the same type of woman in my city that I found in Russia or it would have taken years of searching and likely a few compromises. Even now, after four years, I have yet to meet a woman that is single that is any way comparable to my wife. I am truly blessed to be married to a woman who loves me dearly and is such a fantastic person 

The fact of the matter is that dating (internet or otherwise) is easier in Russia and that men generally can find and marry women who are younger and/or more attractive than they could find in Canada or the United States. Why is it so difficult to acknowledge this?   

[kievstar]

I work with lawyers all the time and there all different.  The firm we use the most Akin Gump has people who are fun, nerdy, serious, etc.  All types.

[Eduard]

The fact of the matter is that dating (internet or otherwise) is easier in Russia and that men generally can find and marry women who are younger and/or more attractive than they could find in Canada or the United States. Why is it so difficult to acknowledge this?   

couldn't be a male ego, could it?

[GQBlues]

The fact of the matter is that dating (internet or otherwise) is easier in Russia and that men generally can find and marry women who are younger and/or more attractive than they could find in Canada or the United States. Why is it so difficult to acknowledge this? 

...so much so many men pay other men they do not know thousands of silly dollars so they can date in Russia.

TFF!

What's even sillier is, the very men who promote the very same idiotic notion it is easier to date in Russia, is the very same MAN who'll happily take thousands of dollars from men to help them date in Russia under the guise he's just trying to help people out...yeah, there's enough stupid people out there to actually believe that silly scheme.

That fact alone will strongly suggest the type of the majority of men involved in this affair. It isn't the lack of available, desirable women in the US that's the problem....it is the lack of suitable, desirable US women willing to date undesirable men.

[Eduard]

Misha, you are in the business?!?!?! You dirty little man you!?!?!?! 

[Gator]

The fact of the matter is that dating (internet or otherwise) is easier in Russia and that men generally can find and marry women who are younger and/or more attractive than they could find in Canada or the United States. Why is it so difficult to acknowledge this?  

Has living in the village of Moose Jaw turned your mind into mush.  Not only have I acknowledged this fact, I seconded Eduard's pronouncement.  Please read:

In contrast I had pretty much unlimited choice of attractive, in shape women in Russia who wanted family in my age range.

Now you and I can agree.  I would say the choice was 20x larger than what was attractive and interesting in Tampa.  But Tampa was not void of women.  The issue remains of how many of these unlimited numbers of RW were sincerely interested in me and how many were  wifey material.  Who cares; I was not bored!  

Misha, you are an intelligent man.  Yet your unconstrained cynicsm has you dismissing valid opinions from other intelligent RWD members, even ignoring if not twisting facts.  Such will weaken your credibility.  But there could be a job for you.  The Democrats and Republicans are looking for people with such mentality to write negative campaign ads.

[Gator]

couldn't be a male ego, could it?

Please read my post above. 

A number of men chasing RW give AW a bad rap.  I don't think it is correct nor fair.  My opinion is that it is more about the man's desirability (as Lily wrote), his approach for meeting AW, and his personality/values/etc.  Many men should not say they can not find interesting and attractive AW, and instead admit that their introverted personality or whatever is inhibiting their dating in America.

I just don't believe that all desirable qualities are skewed to favor men.  For every geeky man, their is a nerdy woman.  For every fat woman, there is a fat man.
   
Yet I 100% agree with you that it is far easier to meet young and pretty women in Russia.  Meeting them is just the first step of a strange and challenging journey.   

[Misha]

Gator, I neither need dating advice nor job advice from you as I am satisfied both with my marital and employment status   

[Eduard]

A number of men chasing RW give AW a bad rap.  I don't think it is correct nor fair.  My opinion is that it is more about the man's desirability (as Lily wrote), his approach for meeting AW, and his personality/values/etc.  Many men should not say they can not find interesting and attractive AW, and instead admit that their introverted personality or whatever is inhibiting their dating in America.
I just don't believe that all desirable qualities are skewed to favor men.  For every geeky man, their is a nerdy woman.  For every fat woman, there is a fat man.  
Yet I 100% agree with you that it is far easier to meet young and pretty women in Russia.  Meeting them is just the first step of a strange and challenging journey.    

Phil, when I wrote "couldn't be a male ego, could it?" I wasn't referring to you, rather some other posters who clearly have huge egos and are not in touch with reality (other than their own version of it). I always find it funny and hypocritical when guys who marry RW state that they could get the same quality (referring to looks, age, education, personality) AW "if they wanted to" locally. Sure...yeah...right!
 I met you a couple of times in real life and I think that you are a very intelligent, nice man. We might have a difference of op pinion on a thing or two but believe me, you have my respect and friendship.

My opinion is that it is more about the man's desirability (as Lily wrote), his approach for meeting AW, and his personality/values/etc.  Many men should not say they can not find interesting and attractive AW, and instead admit that their introverted personality or whatever is inhibiting their dating in America.

Although I agree with you on this, I think that it is important to mention that standarts and tastes can be (and actually are different) in different cultures around the world. For example: In the USA many men shave their body hair off because AW generally can't stand hairy men. On the other hand , in the FSU many women consider body hair very sexy on a man and they even indicate that it is a turn on for them in their personals ads. Even if you spend just a few days in Russia you will see plenty of couples that you would consider a total mismatch here in the US - unattractive, geeky looking, short guys with stunningly beautiful, model quality girls/wives who are sometimes also 6 to 8" taller than their man. And these girls are noticeably in love with these guys and are all over them!
This would be very, very out of the ordinary here in the US. Basically what I'm saying is that an "undesirable", average guy here in the US may be very desirable and sought after in another culture, and FSU is one of those place in my experience.

[Daveman]

...I think that it is important to mention that standarts and tastes can be (and actually are different) in different cultures around the world. For example: In the USA many men shave their body hair off because AW generally can't stand hairy men. On the other hand , in the FSU many women consider body hair very sexy on a man and they even indicate that it is a turn on for them in their personals ads. Even if you spend just a few days in Russia you will see plenty of couples that you would consider a total mismatch here in the US - unattractive, geeky looking, short guys with stunningly beautiful, model quality girls/wives who are sometimes also 6 to 8" taller than their man. And these girls are noticeably in love with these guys and are all over them!

This would be very, very out of the ordinary here in the US. Basically what I'm saying is that an "undesirable", average guy here in the US may be very desirable and sought for in another culture, and FSU is one of those place in my experience.

Yes, this can be true here and there, and yes, sometimes attraction varies to nth degrees. Let me pose a question. Let's say for the sake of this discussion that two men are searching for a mate. Both have the same job/income yet one is tall, in shape, handsome, etc and the other is like you describe - short, geeky, etc... which of the two do you think would give you an easier time as a client drumming up interest in out of the way places for marriage to a foreign man?  Not speaking about "league" or the types of women likely to be interested, just overall numbers.. which man would generate the most interest in your opinion?

[Misha]

Yes, this can be true here and there, and yes, sometimes attraction varies to nth degrees. Let me pose a question. Let's say for the sake of this discussion that two men are searching for a mate. Both have the same job/income yet one is tall, in shape, handsome, etc and the other is like you describe - short, geeky, etc... which of the two do you think would give you an easier time as a client drumming up interest in out of the way places for marriage to a foreign man?  Not speaking about "league" or the types of women likely to be interested, just overall numbers.. which man would generate the most interest in your opinion?

I can answer your question quite easily: the tall, handsome guy will generate much more interest in both Russia and the United States/Canada. However, the sheer quantity of women interested in him will be much, much greater in the FSU based on my observed experience. All things being equal, dating in Russia will be easier for most men in Russia, both the tall, handsome fellow and the short geeky guy  Both will generate more interest than they would back home.

[vwrw]

Basically what I'm saying is that an "undesirable", average guy here in the US may be very desirable and sought for in another culture, and FSU is one of those place in my experience.

This is exactly what I was trying to say in my previous post in this thread. American women have higher standards for their life partners then FSU women have.

I believe  men when they say they have no problem with being laid by good looking, educated, women with pleasant personality, yet they have to go to FSU to find women willing to create family with them. The majority of modern women has different standards for a lover of several days and for a husband. The men can satisfy the requirements for a lover, but they are insufficiently good to become a husband in the opinion of AW. 

 The majority of AW seems to have the following requirements for Ms Perfect:
- Must have such a great body which is only possible to get if the man spends most of his time in gym.
- Must have such an intelligence which is only possible to get if the man spends most of his time reading books.
- Must have such an income which is only possible to get if the man spends all of his time earning money.
- Must give her a lot of attention which is only possible if the man has no other things to do.

Since the chance of finding such man is zero and contemporary laws do not allow polyandry, AW have currently given up and do not maintain themselves in a great shape.

Maybe American society should allow polyandry, then the women wishing to have a good looking, smart, attentive person with a good income would obtain it by marrying four husbands, and it would be easier for  AM to satisfy  just one fourth of the requirements for a husband.   
 

[Eduard]

Yes, this can be true here and there, and yes, sometimes attraction varies to nth degrees. Let me pose a question. Let's say for the sake of this discussion that two men are searching for a mate. Both have the same job/income yet one is tall, in shape, handsome, etc and the other is like you describe - short, geeky, etc... which of the two do you think would give you an easier time as a client drumming up interest in out of the way places for marriage to a foreign man?  Not speaking about "league" or the types of women likely to be interested, just overall numbers.. which man would generate the most interest in your opinion?

It depends, Dave. Very handsome, tall, successful men tend to look for 10s in women whether locally or in the FSU and they may have harder time finding a mate than an average guy looking for RW who are a 6, 7 or 8 (in terms of looks). The reason is that the 10s in the FSU have plenty of choices of handsome, wealthy men right at home (and abroad). I struck up a conversation with an absolutely stunning looking woman in her mid 20s at Sheremetyevo airport while waiting for my flight to Kiev last August. Once she realised that I wasn't "hitting" on her and was just being friendly (showed her the pics of my wife and kids on my iPhone) she opened up and started telling me how she is always on the road because her and her boyfriend had a place on Tverskaya in Moscow, another one in London, and off course a beach home in Long Island, NY along with a cute little penthouse in Kiev...oh and it's a darn shame they only visit their condo in Miami occasionally since she really likes Miami...well, we said our good byes once we boarded the plane since she "had" to stay in front of the plane in business class while I proceeded to the back...well, you know what they say? In an event of a crash there is a much better chance of surviving if you are sitting in the back of the air plane!  
But I don't want to get into my experiences with other men since it's going to be viewed as "self promotion". I would rather just talk about my personal experience as a man, American citizen, who was in his early 40s, average to slightly above average in looks, very social, confident, worldly, funny, etc., etc. I dated both locally and in Russia and I can talk about my personal experience. If you have questions about my personal experience and what differences I found I'd be happy to respond.

[Boethius]

The majority of AW seems to have the following requirements for Ms Perfect:
- Must have such a great body which is only possible to get if the man spends most of his time in gym.
- Must have such an intelligence which is only possible to get if the man spends most of his time reading books.
- Must have such an income which is only possible to get if the man spends all of his time earning money.
- Must give her a lot of attention which is only possible if the man has no other things to do.

I don't think that's true.  Were it true, a vast majority of AW would not be married/coupled.  According to the U.S. Census Bureau (2008), there are 104 million unmarried Americans over age 18, representing just over 45% of the adult population.

I think where there may be a divergence is in women over 40.  I believe this is because AW with careers have more options than women in the FSU.  Many want men as lovers, but not necessarily as husbands.  

[vwrw]

I don't think that's true.  Were it true, a vast majority of AW would not be married/coupled.  

I was not serious, listing the requirements. The requirements are semi-joke, simplification and exaggeration for effect. 
 

 Many want men as lovers, but not necessarily as husbands.  

I agree with you.

[vwrw]

 My opinion is that it is more about the man's desirability (as Lily wrote), his approach for meeting AW, and his personality/values/etc.  Many men should not say they can not find interesting and attractive AW, and instead admit that their introverted personality or whatever is inhibiting their dating in America.
   
Yet I 100% agree with you that it is far easier to meet young and pretty women in Russia.  Meeting them is just the first step of a strange and challenging journey.   

Gator, a man cannot change over night flight from America to FSU. Thus, if the man’s personality, values, and dating techniques were inhibiting his dating in America, then those things should also inhibit his dating in FSU. But they do not because a man who could not find a wife for himself in America for years often becomes engaged after one week wonder in FSU.  This means there is an important variable in play other than the man’s personality, values, and dating techniques, and the important variable is female requirements for her potential husband.

[Gator]

Gator, I neither need dating advice nor job advice from you as I am satisfied both with my marital and employment status   

That's it?!  You are shown to be wrong and that's all you say?

By the way, I was jesting about an employment opportunity for you in writing negative political ads.  Inexplicably humorless folks are unable to grasp such, much less engage in repartee.

From here in Tampa I can see a sneer building on your face in Moose Jaw.

And my dating advice was not advice, particularly to you.  It was my support of a rant about men claiming that local women are not available, or  if available not attractive, and if attractive not interested (i. e. the interested local women are not deserving of the man).  I assert that statistics would show the local women represent appropriate matches for the local men.

How's your sneer?

Have a nice day in Moose Jaw.