RW and Truck Driver

[Vaughn]

Although it doesn't qualify as a close relationship, Elvira and I have been buddy-buddy with a couple we've
known since 2002. They were married in late 2001 and they were comfortable with his school administrator
career. In short time she became pregnant - and he lost his job. He had some OTR experience from his youth
and grabbed a spot running refrigerated goods cross-country. In her 6th month, they planned for her to return
to Yoshkar Ola so she at least could count on her family to be available during childbirth. As it turned out, she
departed the USA before Advance Parole was issued - and that's when the "breakup" rumor mill kicked into high
gear on a few Yahoo boards.

The marriage not only survived, it blossomed - but entailed a K-3 to get her and the child stateside once again.
They have had to move to another state, and upgrade his admin position a few times - but the uncertainty during
the two years of having to accept and live with his trucking job took its toll. Thankfully, those days are over for them.

It CAN be done. IMO only, it would help greatly if
1) You take Lily's suggestions above very seriously - and act on them.
2) Avoid any semblance of a convenience marriage and strive for one of true love. You and
    she will need a commitment far stronger than an average one. Given the constraints of
    time and distance in a long distance engagement, too often hasty decisions are made.
3) Consider all financial obligations ahead. Plan for the unexpecteds. They usually happen.

[Lily]

I must reveal that the mold broke when the heavens created her.  She is totally unique.  Nevertheless:  PROFESSOR  :heartafire: BUS DRIVER.  It can happen. 

Yes it can happen.

 At the same time, when we talk about some apparently unequal unions, be it an much older with a much younger spouse, or a very educated with an uneducated one, or a hereditary Prince with a Cinderella, almost in every case we notice that the less advantageous party - the older, the less intellectual or the lower ranked one - was quite a unique, a truly outstanding, an exceptional personality.

It really takes an exceptional personality to benchmark the equation.

Think of an American commoner Wallis Simpson, who not only managed to marry King Edward, but also made him to renounce the English throne because of her.

If the OP is the one, let him go ahead as he is, and wish him luck.

[wcnwzrd]

As before stated, I DO NOT intend to stay driving truck my entire life. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice specializing in Forensic Science. The problem is, due to all the budget cuts, I was let go at my previous position and most places aren't hiring for patrol officers or crime lab techs. Driving truck gave me a way to support my family while I was out of work (this was after my ex and I had already split and I was hardly allowed to see my children). I have enough set aside that I would be able to not only follow through with the relationship economically but I would also be able to take a few months off to assist her with English, driving, making friends and getting used to American life. I am also in the process of learning Russian so that I can assist her with language as well. My house is paid for and so are my vehicles. 45-50 may not seem a lot but when you don't have rent/mortgage and car payments it seems closer to 60-65. I have full intent to make sure that not only is someone ready for the lifestyle, whether in the truck or at home, but is also secure here as well. I know there are a lot of American males (I can bring myself to call the men) that wouldn't take the time to think things through or even care. I wasn't brought up that way. I do want more children, but not while I'm on the road. I spent 8 years in the Military and missed way to much of my kids' lives during that time.
 i don't mean to come off as a jerk, but the attitude that comes across in some of the replies here are along the lines that I'm stupid for even suggesting it. I asked to know if it would be possible to even find someone who would be willing to try the lifestyle. I also take offense at people whom assume that just because I drive truck for a living, I don't have a college education.

[ECOCKS]

Uh, re your name, if you're into the wiccan thing you might want to start a thread with regard to how that is going to play out with the FSUW....

[Vaughn]

i don't mean to come off as a jerk, but the attitude that comes across in some of the replies here are along the lines that I'm stupid for even suggesting it. I asked to know if it would be possible to even find someone who would be willing to try the lifestyle. I also take offense at people whom assume that just because I drive truck for a living, I don't have a college education.

wcnwzrd, one of the masculine traits valued highly by FSUW is a man's ability to deal with bluntness - and many of them
will dish out more than you could imagine. You came aboard with a simple question about an extraordinary scenario - and
not to my surprise - you're getting some extraordinary feedback, both pro and con. That's the life of this forum.

Some of the recently revealed facts would have helped earlier in the thread; that said, I fail to see (or even sense) any
poster having implied you are stupid. Let me discourage you from pointing out the infraction as you see it - it's really
nothing more than a waste of your time. Keep looking ahead my friend.

<----- The Cheerleaders went thataway !  There are more than enough rational minds here to lend an opinion, much of it
based on personal experience, and to keep one another in check should thoughts stray off the road of common sense.

[Lily]

As before stated, I DO NOT intend to stay driving truck my entire life. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice specializing in Forensic Science. The problem is, due to all the budget cuts, I was let go at my previous position and most places aren't hiring for patrol officers or crime lab techs. Driving truck gave me a way to support my family while I was out of work

See, not everything is this hopeless

So you are not a truck driver. You are a specialist in Criminal Justice who is temporarily out of his job. Correct?

Now by all means, get back to your profession, and do you best to advance at it.

Suggest avoiding calling yourself a truck driver. You do it just to support yourself for a while, right? 

[ECOCKS]

See, not everything is this hopeless

So you are not a truck driver. You are a specialist in Criminal Justice who is temporarily out of his job. Correct?

Now by all means, get back to your profession, and do you best to advance at it.

Suggest avoiding calling yourself a truck driver. You do it just to support yourself for a while, right? 

Enlist? Homeland Security? Federal Police? Border Patrol? Coast Guard?

[wcnwzrd]

I did enlist, for 8 years and I won't go back until I have no other option. It cost me my wife and my children. Border patrol isn't an option as 1 i don't speak spanish and never intend to and 2 i feel illegals have no right to any of the protections granted to US citizens and those here legally, no matter the situation. coast guard is the same as military, always gone and no control over where you go. I have applied for the feds and homeland security but don't qualify for a high enough security clearance due to friends that I made while in the military.

Also, I never said that someone called me stupid, I said that the attitude was that way. I call myself a truck driver due to that being where I have been for the last 2 years and until the economy picks up, I don't see that changing in the immediate future.

So let me ask this, would the answers be any different if I had asked for a woman that would be interested in an out of work forensic lab tech, currently driving trucks OTR?

[ECOCKS]

I did enlist, for 8 years and I won't go back until I have no other option. It cost me my wife and my children. Border patrol isn't an option as 1 i don't speak spanish and never intend to and 2 i feel illegals have no right to any of the protections granted to US citizens and those here legally, no matter the situation. coast guard is the same as military, always gone and no control over where you go. I have applied for the feds and homeland security but don't qualify for a high enough security clearance due to friends that I made while in the military.

Also, I never said that someone called me stupid, I said that the attitude was that way. I call myself a truck driver due to that being where I have been for the last 2 years and until the economy picks up, I don't see that changing in the immediate future.

So let me ask this, would the answers be any different if I had asked for a woman that would be interested in an out of work forensic lab tech, currently driving trucks OTR?

To be clear, I don't think you're stupid.

Just offering options.

As for spinning your situation, yes the FSU is big on form over substance. It's all about whether you look good or not rather than whether you are actually competent. Still, I don't recommend you try to "spin" your situation, be real if you want a lasting relationship. There are quite a few guys here who have been through or are going through train wrecks who forget or reject this advice.

[Daveman]

45-50 may not seem a lot..

It's a lot to some people and not a lot to others.. don't even worry about what others think about it.  Without a mortgage and with the cars paid for, etc, you're standing solid financially and can easily support a family.  Just be sure you find a down to earth lady and not someone who wants everything under the sun to be happy.

I also take offense at people whom assume that just because I drive truck for a living, I don't have a college education.

Why would you give a rat's hiney what anyone else thinks or assumes?  Screw 'em..

I think you'll be fine in this venture IF you are willing to take the time and make the effort to find the special lady for you.

[Vaughn]

well im 27

I have a Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice specializing in Forensic Science.

I spent 8 years in the Military

I call myself a truck driver due to that being where I have been for the last 2 years

I was let go at my previous position and most places aren't hiring for patrol officers or crime lab techs.

Help me understand how you managed to do all this by age 27 - did you enlist at age 17 and earn your Bachelor's while
on military duty?

[wcnwzrd]

 I shipped to boot camp on the day of my 17th birthday. I spent 8 years in and earned my degree while in. When i left the military I was employed for approx 6 months then laid off/let go due to budget cuts. I used my GI Bill to get my CDL and was picked up upon finishing school as an OTR driver.
 My house was passed to my by my father. It isn't much but it is comfortable and sits on about 5 acres. It is about 15 min drive to town (aprox 5,000 people live there)

[lovelyannie]

For the vast majority of FSUW I know, this would be a step up.

  Oh, boy.... Who do you think Russian women to be? Bums? Paupers?
Unemployed losers? The only problem we have in Russia is bad demography situation, preventing us from finding a couple. We are not coming to the USA for better life, we are coming for better partners - those that are availiable in Russia are spoiled with the rich chioce of beautiful perfect women. But what the topic starter offers, doesn't sound like nice partnership and it would never be good for any woman. Women need nice living conditions, reliable householding. Noone would agree to "put her life on track" - (doesn't it sound funny in this context?) And those ones who might agree, have a lot of unattractive qualities for you, guys - they are adventuresses, unloyal ones, or, may be, enjoy alchohol too much.
So, my advice for the topic starter would be: go for search, explain your situation to girls and also tell them you are planning to change it soon, "while you, dear, may enjoy staying totally alone in our house, waiting for me and doing the chores; or you might join me in my trips, if you want".  The woman might appeciate your plans for the future, if you are not going to plan too long.  What is good about you is that you are young - the choice of young men in the Internet is very low.
But best of all would be if you first change your situation, find another job and after that go for FSU Internet dating - with your age you will have quite a bundle of choices.

[ECOCKS]

  Oh, boy.... Who do you think Russian women to be? Bums? Paupers?
Unemployed losers? The only problem we have in Russia is bad demography situation, preventing us from finding a couple. We are not coming to the USA for better life, we are coming for better partners - those that are availiable in Russia are spoiled with the rich chioce of beautiful perfect women. But what the topic starter offers, doesn't sound like nice partnership and it would never be good for any woman. Women need nice living conditions, reliable householding. Noone would agree to "put her life on track" - (doesn't it sound funny in this context?) And those ones who might agree, have a lot of unattractive qualities for you, guys - they are adventuresses, unloyal ones, or, may be, enjoy alchohol too much.
So, my advice for the topic starter would be: go for search, explain your situation to girls and also tell them you are planning to change it soon, "while you, dear, may enjoy staying totally alone in our house, waiting for me and doing the chores; or you might join me in my trips, if you want".  The woman might appeciate your plans for the future, if you are not going to plan too long.  What is good about you is that you are young - the choice of young men in the Internet is very low.
But best of all would be if you first change your situation, find another job and after that go for FSU Internet dating - with your age you will have quite a bundle of choices.

You have your opinion, I have mine. Concentrate on answering the OP's question rather than trying to pick fights in a thread.

I know what I said and am confident of it's accuracy. You have your opinion and are welcome to it.

Have a nice day.

[lovelyannie]

You have your opinion, I have mine. Concentrate on answering the OP's question rather than trying to pick fights in a thread.

I know what I said and am confident of it's accuracy. You have your opinion and are welcome to it.

Have a nice day.

I am sorry, I understand what I said might have been offencive for you. But you should also realize, your "opinion" about Russian women is totally insulting. It's like calling all of us sluts. Riding in a truck would be a step up for most of us? I really think I have every right to feel offended, not you.

[JohnDearGreen]

Riding in a truck would be a step up for most of us? I really think I have every right to feel offended, not you.

So Annie, if your husband loses his job and only option available is a truck driving job, where would your next step be?   Keep in mind, you agreed to "for better or worse".

[pitbull]

So Annie, if your husband loses his job and only option available is a truck driving job, where would your next step be?   Keep in mind, you agreed to "for better or worse".

JDG,

Don't twist the situation. This is a bit different than knowingly marrying a truck driver with a "baggage". And I'm with Annie on actually finding what ECOCKS said offensive. Being driven  around the country in a truck is NOT a step up for most RW, it is a huge step down.

In my opinion the OP should get back on a decent career path first and then start this whole FSUW adventure.

So, here's the opinion of 3 RW in this thread, all three basically agree.

[ECOCKS]

I am sorry, I understand what I said might have been offencive for you. But you should also realize, your "opinion" about Russian women is totally insulting. It's like calling all of us sluts. Riding in a truck would be a step up for most of us? I really think I have every right to feel offended, not you.

LOL - I called all of you "sluts"? Really? No wonder you're a bit challenged.

My opinion is what it is madam, you're not rational.

[ECOCKS]

JDG,

Don't twist the situation. This is a bit different than knowingly marrying a truck driver with a "baggage". And I'm with Annie on actually finding what ECOCKS said offensive. Being driven  around the country in a truck is NOT a step up for most RW, it is a huge step down.

Well, hey, good for you PB. You're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine. If you find the comment "offensive" feel free to report it to a moderator.

[JohnDearGreen]

JDG,
Don't twist the situation. This is a bit different than knowingly marrying a truck driver with a "baggage". And I'm with Annie on actually finding what ECOCKS said offensive. Being driven  around the country in a truck is NOT a step up for most RW, it is a huge step down.

There is never a guarantee of "steps up only".

In my opinion the OP should get back on a decent career path first and then start this whole FSUW adventure.

Things can be worse.  My grandfather drove a chicken truck into the slums of St. Louis.  Sometimes had to stop and beat away the thiefs jumping on the truck trying to steal a crate of live chickens.  I find your statement about "decent careers" very obnoxious.

[pitbull]

Well, hey, good for you PB. You're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine. If you find the comment "offensive" feel free to report it to a moderator.

While it is commendable that you are trying to cheer the newbie up, I believe he should not be misinformed, or at least have a point of view directly from RW. I am not saying there are NO RW for whom the OP's situation will be a step up. This is why I side with Lily in advice to search in economically depressed regions, preferably smaller towns, among RW with no professional degree or better yet, with no college education. We have a Russian saying for this kind of girls "They haven't had anything sweeter than a carrot in their life".

But then again, why go so far? Somewhere in the hills of West Virginia he would find a good number of American girls for whom his situation would be a step up as well. And spare himself all the pitfalls of intercultural relationship.

[pitbull]

There is never a guarantee of "steps up only".
Things can be worse.  My grandfather drove a chicken truck into the slums of St. Louis.  Sometimes had to stop and beat away the thiefs jumping on the truck trying to steal a crate of live chickens.  I find your statement about "decent careers" very obnoxious.

Sure....

Then I guess the OP would be advised to look for a girl as described in my post above.

[lovelyannie]

So Annie, if your husband loses his job and only option available is a truck driving job, where would your next step be?   Keep in mind, you agreed to "for better or worse".

I am sorry, I don't quite understand your point. Why does my agreeing "for worse" mean that I should consider driving a truck for my IT engineer husband a step up? Yes, I agreed for worse, and that would be worse, not better.

[ECOCKS]

For everyone on this thread, I have known truck drivers who make $80K a year and break six-digits occasionally. Growing up, I had  couple of friends whose Dads were drivers and even recall meeting a female driver a few years ago who was an attractive and interesting person, owned two trucks and had her ex-brother-in-law driving one and making money for both of them.

Anyway, the ignorant people who feel a pressing need to put others down due to their work situation or who are themselves so insecure in their own lives that they feel a need to attack others and attain some imagined sense of superiority, tell a lot about themselves in the process. There are 45 million people in Ukraine, a country with an average income about 30-40% of our own. Then there's the real unemployment rate. Rest assured the shop clerks, aestheticians, cell phone salespeople, bookkeepers, librarians, teachers and the other, "normal"" people in life would see life as the wife of a trucker as a step up in terms of material possessions and certainly with regard to a solid man who loves and respects them would be far, FAR better off than they presently enjoy.

Keep looking for "real" women guys, not the show ponies (or show pony wannabees) who can't figure out how to entertain themselves without your credit card or in-depth discussions on what coat to wear.

[JohnDearGreen]

I am sorry, I don't quite understand your point. Why does my agreeing "for worse" mean that I should consider driving a truck for my IT engineer husband a step up? Yes, I agreed for worse, and that would be worse, not better.

We are not coming to the USA for better life, we are coming for better partners

Annie,
Your definition of a "better partner" is someone who can give you a better life, but that is not what you say you are coming here for.   There are thousands of ladies in FSU, who frankly, probably have slim chance of finding a decent man.   Maybe this truck driver looks like Burt Reynolds.  Would they still not want to ride in the truck with him?