Another newbie

[prowler911]

Hello....I am new to the site...well actually not new,I have been lurking for awhile..it seems like a lot of people have found what they are looking for through this site..Wether it is help,advice,romance or whatever...well i guess i am kinda in the same boat...I don't even know where to begin lol...I have actually met a nice girl but have no idea what she is feeling or thinking...well i don't want to sound sappy so i will just say hello and read on..maybe i can get some hints here on what to do about it....well anyways enough of my dribble lol...onto my education.....Jon

[LAman]

"I have actually met a nice girl....."

You are talking about letters? If so, use them to get to know something about her with the intention of meeting soon.
I have always felt that 20% of relationship can be done through letters, phone calls or chat( like skype) and the other
80% comes after you have met in person...just something you cannot put into words.

[prowler911]

No...i met her in person...she has been here for about 2 yrs..she is from siberia..she shows no emotions..nothing..lol..sometimes i wonder if she is a cyborg...I get her laughing and when we go out we have fun...but when it comes to touching her...even to hold her arm as she gets in my car she immediately pulls away...when i told her i had plans to retire and move away she told me not to...that is the closest I have got to her even acknowledging that she thought of me at all...She doesn't ask for anything but i still give her what i can...I know she has had it tough and i would like to make it easier but not at the cost of me personally...I really do care about her but don't get the same vibe back...i know there are cultural differences and she only dated russian men who are..well i guess different i don't know...sometimes I feel like i am just a handy guy to have around....should i keep trying or just call it a day...i know i can't promise her the world but i can promise her a world and it can be anything she wants within my means.

[prowler911]

Are there any women on here that talk with guys as friends...maybe educate us guys that are babes in the woods so to speak.

[Boethius]

If she pulls away when you touch her, she isn't interested in you romantically.

Time to move on.

[prowler911]

Thats what I think at times also but other times she looks at me like I am the only man on the planet....if she even hears me speak of another girl...look at another girl or have anything to do with another girl...she seems to get real hurt and gets kinda..well it's hard to explain...she almost acts like she was with guys who weren't exactly very nice to her and thats what it seems like more at times..it seems reflexive at times...I stopped trying a bit ago and when are saying goodbye she will always initiate a hug goodbye and gives me a hug for the ages...this is my first time actually dealing with a female from another culture that i have had feeling for so i have no idea what to expect at all....lol..it's hard to explain.

[I/O]

How old are you, how old is she?

[ECOCKS]

Welcome. Read, learn and ask questions.

[prowler911]

Thanks for the welcome...it does seem i have lots to learn lol...and i really am laughing to myself...or at myself don't know which yet...she is 28 I am 43...Not to toot my own horn but i look like i am in my mid 30's and again not to toot my own horn because i really am not a egotist but i never have had trouble getting a date so i am sure it isn't looks...well i know i am not everyones cup of tea but i do believe she thinks i am good looking..she has hinted to that at least lol....

[I/O]

and i really am laughing to myself...or at myself

Worry not, we'll join in soon enough.

she is 28 I am 43.

Doable, but in this instance, 15 years looks more older brotherish than suitorish.

Not to toot my own horn but i look like i am in my mid 30's

As they all do.

i am sure it isn't looks

It never is..................is it?

i do believe she thinks i am good looking..she has hinted to that at least

As they do.


Refer point 2 above and settle for that or you could try jumping her bones.

[Rubicon]

If she pulls away when you touch her, she isn't interested in you romantically.

Time to move on.

+1

[Doll]

I don't think we can "answer the questions"- it is a normal dating.
I think 15 years is too much. There are things she sees in you that we don't know.
She may look for a smaller age gap, for the man with no kids, with more money, etc.

[JohnDearGreen]

No...i met her in person...she has been here for about 2 yrs..she is from siberia..she shows no emotions..nothing..lol..

After years in Siberia, she probably would just like to play the field a while before getting tied down to you or anyone.
Sounds like you are still in the running, but she might be playing the VM role for now.   How long has she been here and how long have you known her?

[Doll]

BTW it does not matter what part of Russia she is from.

[Jumper]

How long have you been "dating"?

She doesn't seem into you romantically ,who knows why.
This is NOT cultural, it's just her..wit hyou.
 (now maybe her personal background or any number of things effect that )
I'd move on.

If you just have to know, then make a pass ,or kiss her , ( a kiss is just a kiss )
doesn't sound like you have.

so she could be as easily confused by you as you are of her..
or she could just not be into you ,as is indicated by the actions you describe


Siberian ice princess exits i'm sure , but i wouldnt call it some cultural norm for there..

Basically your interaction with her, if shes been here two years , shouldn't be much different dating than
what you are used to.
if it is different , look for the why in her peersonality quirks , or in the particular  relationship to you.. not in her culture or nationality.

[Maxx2]

She might just be a strange girl who would cringe if a 28 year old Brad Pitt paid attention to her. It would be interesting to see what she would do if the OP started spending less and less time with her and further time apart when he seen heragain. Like he is losing interest in her.

[Blues Fairy]

After years in Siberia, she probably would just like to play the field a while before getting tied down to you or anyone

Just imagine spending those years in Siberia - no sun, no men, just snow and snow and bears... 

[I/O]

Just imagine spending those years in Siberia - no sun, no men, just snow and snow and bears... 

Beat me to it.........................And, imagine if you'd had internet or even telephone? Morse code would have been better than nothing.

[OlgaH]

Beat me to it.........................And, imagine if you'd had internet or even telephone? Morse code would have been better than nothing.

I/O, what Morse Code you are talking about? It is a luxury in the deep Siberian taiga! We usually use smoke signals to communicate: a fire and a bear's skin for creating puffs  

[I/O]

LOL, and here I was thinking the "Tundra" didn't make it that far south.

[OlgaH]

LOL, and here I was thinking the "Tundra" didn't make it that far south.

How far? 

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4U5ZmkaXcM&feature=related[/youtube]

[Gator]

...She doesn't ask for anything but i still give her what i can...

I presume this is money.  If not, please clarify.

...sometimes I feel like i am just a handy guy to have around....

Do you see the connection between your two comments?
 
She does not want you to go away because you are helping her financially.  RW are very clever about working a man.  Usually they give the man some physical attention to keep him on the hook.  In your case, she must assume that you are so infatuated with her that she does not need to do anything.

I know she has had it tough and i would like to make it easier but not at the cost of me personally...

Get real.  She made it to  America.  How can her life be so "tough?" 


You say this woman has dated only RM.  If so, she is trained by Russian men.  So be like a RM.  Ask her the questions you are asking us.  If she does not answer, ask again.  If her answer is vague, ask her to elaborate.   Personally, AW sound better than this particular RW.

[Gator]

Prowler,

If she confirms that she wants only a platonic relationship with you, say "splendid" and ask her for help as a friend.  Tell her that she has got you interested in RW.  So you want to travel to Russia to meet some.  Ask her to review the profiles of some women you have seen at agencies.   Ask her opinion about whether they would be a decent match for you.   

This should settle the question whether she wants you as a friend or something more intimate.   

 

[Boethius]

This should settle the question whether she wants you as a friend or something more intimate.  

Not necessarily.  If he's the bank, how likely is that to continue if he's involved with another woman?

[Gator]

Not necessarily.  If he's the bank, how likely is that to continue if he's involved with another woman?

I see your point if she is indeed deceitful and considers Prowler her personal ATM.  If so, she would need to step up her game and become physically intimate if Prowler is any sort of a man.  Then Prowler would be the same as a RM sponsoring a young dyev (provided he realizes the situation and does not fall in love).