Why do u look for a wife abroad?

[Zhena]

Hi Fiance,

Your English is fine.  It is as good as my wife's and she has lived in UK for nearly 3 years:)

I did search for a wife in FSU.  Over 3 years.  Several trips.  Fell flat on my face a couple of times but eventually I did learn.  I met my wife Natasha in 2002.

How did I start dating Russians?  I went out with one who lived on Staten Island when I lived in NYC.  Met her family and friends.  Became intrigued.  Later met an agency owner (Volga Girl) and his wife and they persuaded me to make my first MOB trip. 

First 3 trips were flops from the viewpoint of meeting my other half.  On the other hand I had a BALL!!   Next trip I met Nelya from Kherson and got taken for a ride.  Good thing too.  It opened my eyes. 

 

Thank You-very pleasant to hear for me,especially that I learned my english by myself only!

Leslie,you came through some things,but it was an experience. Finally,you got what you wanted. And I hope you had never regret about it.

[Zhena]

RW found me - that is my email address. At the time I was dating an AW but I knew she wasn't the one. So I was curious and began searching on the Internet and learning about RW. The more I learned the more I found RW attractive. But beauty alone is not enough - I'm picky about finding a good family woman. This is what I was interested in learning about RW. My family is full of beautiful AW and I was going to have to do more than just add a beautiful RW to the mix. I had to find the right woman, where ever she came from. But for whatever reason I just wasn't finding an AW that met my standards - in fact I was disapointed in most of the AW I was meeting. And some of them were very attractive but I wasn't finding the right one. I see it as the reverse of the RM problem some RW describe.

Finally I decided to hop on a plane and meet a woman I had made friends with - through simple friendly emails. And I thank God I did. I feel very lucky - sometimes you have to take (calculated) risks to find what you're looking for.

 

I am very happy for you.  But could you tell me more about why the AM werent suit to your standards...Whats wrong.

[Goldtop]

It's difficult to say - why don't many RW meet the right RM? Okay I'll try to explain. But I'm not one to bash AW because I was once married to an excellent AW and I have great AW in my family. 

First I have to say this - dating at 50 (my age) is not the same as it was in my 20s. When I was in my 20s women were everywhere and I could find a good one without much effort. At 50 it takes much more effort to find a suitable partner. I dated two AW just before I met my RW. One was 38 and the other 39. I could have married either one of them. But these relationships did not seem interesting or exciting for me. They were boring, I was bored. There was no magic and I was beginning to think I may never meet the right woman.

I was looking for a woman who was very attractive, very feminine, good manners, polite, intelligent and carried herself in a dignified way. It's not that I had to go to Russia to find these qualities. Call it a freak of nature but I did go to Russia and I found her. Why I did this in the first place I can't really explain. I just had some hope and belief that I would find her - even if I had to go to half way around the world to do it.

[Oosik]

answering the question, I see myself as someone who really wants to love and be loved, with someone who is young. I see the family as a man and a woman who are each conditioned by their cultures to kiss the other person's rear end.

They say the success of a relationship is directly related to the interest level of the woman. By going to someplace where the average, normal, kind woman is very lonely (someone called her "love starved" here), where my manners and mannerisms are desireable, I feel that I have found a woman with a high interest level in me, so I think we will be successful.

Interesting on this thread how all the guys who did not go the MOB route jumped in first to make that point clear.  Wonder why? Sometimes it seems like guys here not going the MOB route look down on the rest of us.* Sniffle*

[TigerPaws]

[color="#0000ff"][size="4"]Hello Fiancé,[/size][/color]    [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]

 You ask a fair question and as you  have seen received a number of different answers, as for myself I made the  decision to look for a Russian lady (verses a lady from the Ukraine) after  working in central Russia for several years. After deciding to marry again  I began to list out what my wants, needs and desires in a lady would be, after  looking over the available pool of women in America who could fulfill my wants,  needs and desires the choice was clear, look to Russia.[/size][/color]    [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]

 The difference between Russian women  and American women (in general) could not be more dramatic additionally as you  said many Russian women simply can not find a Russian man who fits their wants,  needs and desires so they broaden their horizons and consider someone from the  west.[/size][/color]    [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]

 My Russian lady and I have been  together for almost 6 years now, we have a 3-1/2 year old daughter (ok a  terrorist), we also have a 19 year age difference which for us is not an  issue but an asset.[/size][/color]

[jb]

Oosik said:

Interesting on this thread how all the guys who did not go the MOB route jumped in first to make that point clear. Wonder why? Sometimes it seems like guys here not going the MOB route look down on the rest of us.* Sniffle*

Huh~? Are we reading the same thread?  Most of the posts here on this thread are from those really strict and up tight people complaining about a certain RW's inability to write properly in English.

BTW, do you really think we look down on you?   You shouldn't flatter yourself so, actually we don't even think about you until you pop up with another one of your really inane posts.   Seems like you need to either stop drinking, or stop, and re-read what's written here.

[TigerPaws]

It's difficult to say - why don't many RW meet the right RM? Okay I'll try to explain. But I'm not one to bash AW because I was once married to an excellent AW and I have great AW in my family. [color="red"][size="4"]

 Not to steal you thunger Goldtop but I divorced what started out as a good woman and became the AW from Hell.
[/size][/color]
First I have to say this - dating at 50 (my age) is not the same as it was in my 20s. When I was in my 20s women were everywhere and I could find a good one without much effort. At 50 it takes much more effort to find a suitable partner. I dated two AW just before I met my RW. One was 38 and the other 39. I could have married either one of them. But these relationships did not seem interesting or exciting for me. They were boring, I was bored. There was no magic and I was beginning to think I may never meet the right woman.

[color="red"][size="4"] I was 44 when I wrote my first letter and 45 before I made my first trip, otherwise I will generally agree with your statement above.[/size][/color]

[color="red"][size="4"][color="black"]"I was looking for a woman who was very attractive, very feminine, good manners, polite, intelligent and carried herself in a dignified way".[/color]
 I simply gave up on finding such a lady in America so looking to Russia was the logical decision.
[/size][/color]
It's not that I had to go to Russia to find these qualities. Call it a freak of nature but I did go to Russia and I found her. Why I did this in the first place I can't really explain. I just had some hope and belief that I would find her - even if I had to go to half way around the world to do it.

[KenC]

Interesting on this thread how all the guys who did not go the MOB route jumped in first to make that point clear. Wonder why? Sometimes it seems like guys here not going the MOB route look down on the rest of us.* Sniffle*

I don't think that is the case at all.  I have a buddy looking right now and the best place to start is with some agencies.  I never looked at agencies as MOB sites anyway, but more of introduction sites to RW that are serious about marriage and moving to America.

I know I made the point that I wasn't "looking for a wife abroad" because that was the original question.  Even though I found one there.

KenC

[Albert]

[user=743]a fiancee[/user] When questions such as yours are asked, truthful answers are rarely forthcoming.  Most of us feel the need to give answers that show themselves in the best light.  And most of us, as we repeat the same answers over time, can even come to believe that the answers we give are truthful.

For instance, no one likes to say that they can't measure up enough to find the mate they like in a given geographical area.  So the 'feel good' answer is to say that the qualities they desire are not available in their own geographical area.  Notice that you even did this yourself.

Since the beginning of human history, females have been attracted to men of wealth and power (all in a relative sense).  And men have been attracted to youth and beauty.  This is all biological and sociological in nature and has to do with the inborn desire to procreate and keep the species going.  Nothing wrong with it either.  And, these inborn desires and preferences rule the day even when the person isn't actually interested in having children or additional children.

Now, the men look around in their home geographical area and they see many women who meet their criteria of younger and beautiful.  But in the western world, these women are not attainable to the degree desired by the men.  Why not?  Well, western women do not really need men for their economic well being.  The women that many of us desire (based on youth and beauty) are working on Wall Street, at major law firms, at CPA firms, as Medical Doctors, scientists, professors, etc.  They are earning close to or in the 6 figures and they are looking to marry up.

These women are not attainable by the average Joe.  But the average Joe cannot say that.  Instead the average Joe must say that these women are b!tches and not desirable at all.

Then we have the other side of the coin.  Western men could not be meeting and dating younger more beautiful FSU women if these women were not making themselves available somehow . . . either through marriage agencies, internet dating sites, etc.

Just as the western men do, the FSU women have to come up with some stories (at least to convince themselves) as to why they cannot find a suitable mate in their own geographical area.  In truth, there are many suitable men in their area, save for one characteristic . . . .  Economic ability to finance a family life that FSU women desire. 

So for both parties, the men and the women, it all boils down to one factor . . . . the economics.  But both sides are loath to acknowledge this.

[Albert]

duplicate

[BillyB]

I married Ukrainian woman I met in the States. She had some issues, we divorced but I do recognize we need to judge people as individuals so I wasn't turned off by RW/UW. I am physically attracted to Eastern Eurpean/Slavic looking women. That's my preference and I can afford to travel so that's why I chose this path in my life. I didn't use an agency and I would've never used the internet to search for anybody but the majority of those women so dang far away! There's a large population of Ukrainians and Russians that moved to my area since the Soviet Union broke.  I was first attracted to RW since I was a kid watching James Bond movies fantasizing of course. I forgot about them as a young man dating American women but after many RW/UW came to live in the States, it kicked up my interest in UW/RW again. The bottom line is I'm physically attracted to the women over there!

[Son of Clyde]

These women are not attainable by the average Joe.  But the average Joe cannot say that.  Instead the average Joe must say that these women are b!tches and not desirable at all.

Damn this is funny if not 100% factual.

I think it is the fact that older men do not want to date grandmothers (well maybe some do) and it is impossible for Joe Average to meet a woman 20 years younger if he does not have a pocketful of cash.

[BC]

Sometimes it seems like guys here not going the MOB route look down on the rest of us.* Sniffle*

When we met all I knew was "W".. as in Wow!  If you would have asked me back then what a RW, scam, blacklist or MOB was I wouldn't have had the slightest idea.

I don't look down on those who choose the MOB path but I surely deserve to shake my head in wonder from time to time..  ⁽⁽⁽⁾⁾⁾

[TigerPaws]

[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:

[size="4"]These women are not attainable by the average Joe.  But the average Joe cannot say that.  Instead the average Joe must say that these women are b!tches and not desirable at all.[/size]

Damn this is funny if not 100% factual.

I think it is the fact that older men do not want to date grandmothers (well maybe some do) and it is impossible for Joe Average to meet a woman 20 years younger if he does not have a pocketful of cash.

[color="blue"][size="4"]SoC,

 Even when a man has as you say "a pocketful of cash" far too many AW are simply gold digging bitches with way to much baggage. For a man of means around 50 the choices in America are far more limited than you might imagine unless he is simply looking for the one night stand, but honestly that gets boring after a while.

 The FSU offers the chance for a man of means to find an honest, attractive, younger  lady if he is willing to spend the time and effort to find her.
[/size][/color]

[jb]

The bottom line is I'm physically attracted to the women over there!

Now, that's honest~!

[KenC]

If one was to read groovlstk's post in Cultural Events section from an excerpt of the Exile, I think it explains a lot.

KenC

 

[Goldtop]

  In truth, there are many suitable men in their area, save for one characteristic . . . .  Economic ability to finance a family life that FSU women desire. 

So for both parties, the men and the women, it all boils down to one factor . . . . the economics.  But both sides are loath to acknowledge this.

I'm not sure I buy that there are no RM that can finance a family life - they are here and they are in Russia. It seems wealthy Russian men are not so uncommon these days. Perhaps it would be more difficult for a poor little Russian girl to find a rich American man. The vast majority of us are not. Believing most AM or WM are is a fantasy. This country is loaded with single green card carrying Russian men (many who are computer programmers) making very excellent money. I work with one who is not married and is looking. .

No I think there is more to it than only money or just looks. Forgetting the money grubbers and pervert losers - honest RW look for the same reason we do. Okay it's trite but we're both looking for love - and perhaps we are adventurous enough to look in places others would not.

Fiancee - I wouldn't spend too much time trying to figure this AW thing out. Trust in your ability to identify a loser when you see one.  And we will do the same. Everyone should use care.

[Michelangelo]

Not to be rude, but the "U" instead of "you" is annoying. When you communicate, the goal is for the other person to receive your message, not "write in the way that is comfortable for me". That is selfish and lazy, exactly one of those things that many of us are trying to avoid by going to the FSU. If it is annoying to read "U" then people tend to skim or skip the posts or whole parts of it, in that case YOU have failed to communicate.

Real writers write efficiently and to communicate.  Correct spelling and grammar are for published works and the final step of the writing process.  I definitely use "U' and "Ur" and many more shortcuts in sms and email, and yes, in postings on boards such as RWD.  And by the way, the poster above used incorrect punctuation (if he is writing in American English).  The quote mark goes OUTSIDE the period when writing

comfortable for me."

But I don't mind such errors here because I view posting as informal discourse. I mention it because it seems ironic that the poster is quick to criticize the grammar of others and then commits a mistake himself!

Now, to answer the question posed: I met a Russian linguist on the job and fell for her.  It didn't work out, but I loved the culture and the accent and the fresh eyes to the world she had, and wanted to find the same in another girl. I find intercultural relationships much more interesting and exciting than dating or marrying a girl with the same worldview and life style as mine...

[Oosik]

Albert,
When a guy who claims to have had sex with 40 FSU women says it's all about money, one wonders how many he paid for, directly or indirectly.

All I can say is we all probably don't have the same values as you, and the  women we choose are not all like yours. Money has had nothing to do with any of the women I have been with, please don't assume that no one has higher motives than you do.

[Admin]

Albert,
When a guy who claims to have had sex with 40 FSU women says it's all about money, one wonders how many he paid for, directly or indirectly.

All I can say is we all probably don't have the same values as you, and the  women we choose are not all like yours. Money has had nothing to do with any of the women I have been with, please don't assume that no one has higher motives than you do.

"Higher motives" represents a value judgment. Sorry, but I do not see ANY of us being in a position of moral superiority - particularly when the venue is an internet board.

- Dan

[Oosik]

This takes us back to the sex tourist debate. The question was why do we look for wives abroad. Someone who claims to have bagged 40+FSU women and says "it's all about money" isn't exactly the target that a fiance was looking for, and is likely to have a skewed perspective. There is such a thing called "base morality", when someone thinks anything to get their jollies is OK. People who look instead for marriage are usually considered to have higher morality than that. "Base" does mean bottom, or fundimental. It takes no morality to copulate, it does take morality to love.

By the way, saying that morality is relative, or that no one has higher morality than another is in itself a moral judgement call. When people train themselves to ignore their natural instinct to weigh things in moral terms, we become an immoral, self-indulgent society.

[Admin]

This takes us back to the sex tourist debate. The question was why do we look for wives abroad. Someone who claims to have bagged 40+FSU women and says "it's all about money" isn't exactly the target that a fiance was looking for, and is likely to have a skewed perspective. Doesn't need to get into morality.

Yes, the question was why we look for a FSU bride. You answered for yourself. Albert answered for himself. Then you took issue with what Albert wrote.

I think your comment was misplaced as it represented a value judgment and was inappropriate.

Let's leave it at that.

- Dan

[Photo Guy]

[size="3"][color="navy"]a Fiancee,

I looked for a fiancee in the FSU because I find other cultures interesting. I was also drawn to certain differences. In my opinion there are significant differences between AW and women from the FSU. I've stated this before:
1- RW are more comfortable with their femininity
      ...I haven't mentioned:
2- RW often unapologetically do things to please her man.

There is a social stigma(among AW) against an AW who says,
'I dyed my hair black because my husband likes it that way and so do I' or 'My boyfriend loves it when I wear short skirts'

On the other hand, I don't think a RW would be ashamed of those things or that kind of thinking- wanting to please a man. In American society(among women) there is a social stigma in that regard. Feminists have encouraged women to be the 'leaders' in a relationship, resulting in aggressive competitive relationships. So in that context, I view RW as being more feminine because they are okay with being passive or subordinate in ways that boost the male ego, while remaining powerful feminine forces in ways that are less overtly aggressive in contrast to traditional male roles.

I think RW receive a compliment better than AW. AW seem to have some sort of identity crisis, which shows itself as not quite knowing what role they should play or what role they WANT to play. RW are a little more comfortable with their identity.

These are generalizations, but maybe some of you can understand my point of view.  -doug[/color][/size][/b]

[Admin]

By the way, saying that morality is relative, or that no one has higher morality than another is in itself a moral judgement call. When people train themselves to ignore their natural instinct to weigh things in moral terms, we become an immoral, self-indulgent society.

BTW - there is a difference between exercising a position of moral superiority - and recognizing when someone else is expressing one.

I pointed out that your statement represented a value judgment. As such, you are holding yourself up to be morally superior to another.

Are you prepared to state that YOU are in some way superior to Albert?

- Dan

[Bruce]

Ah, we do have someone attempting to write English correctly -  which is all I try to do when I write and speak Russian.  This is not an SMS forum .