Fascinating excerpt from The Exile

[Bruno]

In my case, it was not minor problem... she was several time unfaithful... she was drinking too much... use child for obtain the nationality ( chantage )... and a lot of other things... and i have always try to forgive, to keep our marriage working... i have not give up the marriage due to light reason like become older or more ugly...

[/quote]

[Bruno]

Bruno I know a very respectable gentleman who's wife of 10 years had a blood vessel break in her head (aneurysm) which left her brain dead, yet her body continued to function, she could be fed, have her diaper changed and cared for, the body was there but no one was home anymore.
 Now tell me Bruno what would you do? Stay married or get a divorce and move on with your life?

I stay with her until her dead... some people are able to make this and other flee the responsability... it is a personal choice... my moral value cannot allow me to abandon the wife who have give me 10 year of hapiness because she have health problem... what ever is the moral or financial cost, i stay until the end.

 

[TigerPaws]

[size="4"][color="blue"]Bruno,

 I will have to accept your answer even if I do not believe it.[/color]
[/size]

[KenC]

Since we are veering off topic into the subjects of love, romance and sustaining a relationship, I would reccommend the reading of the current National Geographic magazine article on "Love."  It claims that the intial attraction, the passion and even the urge to remain faithful are all controled by chemicals emitted by the brain.  Maybe, Bruno got an overdose.

KenC

(Bruno, why don't you Google that one up for a different thread starter?)

[Jooky]

For Russian girls, the stakes in sex are pretty simple: money, and/or self-destructive adventure.

Is this article supposed to show Russian women in a positive light? It doesn't seem to.

[Ethelgethe]

For Russian girls, the stakes in sex are pretty simple: money, and/or self-destructive adventure.

Is this article supposed to show Russian women in a positive light? It doesn't seem to.

Not really: both money and adventure (wether self-destructive or not) can be obtained without sex - and even more powerful, pleasing and rewarding if without sex.

Sex is a desperate search of love - as taught by men.

[Ethelgethe]

Although Tigerpaws may be too blunt for your sensitivity, he does speak the truth. The only thing I would question is that aging is more acceptable on men, and not that they age better. Butthat is a small difference of opinion.:dude:

KenC

The point is, that women keep their thoughts about men to themselves, as men NEVER CARE ABOUT THEIR LOOKS, unless it's a sort of sickness in them. Women always do - more or less, or they are just unnoticed by men.

If a woman accepts attention of a "worn" guy - it's despair, and nothing else.

And it's always possible for a woman to find a mate, especially for a short-term relationship, which is much more difficult for a man - and then the guy starts thinking about marriage - at last To make some lady the lucky owner of what was not interesting for the rest.

And these AW should be ugly as ugliness could be, or totally stupid  - or they would have found russian men who would be interested in them!!!

[TigerPaws]

And these AW should be ugly as ugliness could be, or totally stupid  - or they would have found russian men who would be interested in them!!!

[size="4"][color="red"]Good they can have each other, the perfect match Russian men and American women.[/color][/size]

[TigerPaws]

Women always do - more or less, or they are just unnoticed by men.

[color="blue"][size="3"]You really do NOT know AW very well if at all, most could care less what anyone thinks including themselves which is why they find themselves ALONE.[/size][/color]

[TigerPaws]

And it's always possible for a woman to find a mate, especially for a short-term relationship,

[color="blue"][size="4"]You are right most attractive women can easily find a one night stand, which is what most men want.[/size][/color]

[Jooky]

You really do NOT know AW very well if at all, most could care less what anyone thinks including themselves which is why they find themselves ALONE.

What kind of backwoods area of the US do you come from to make this observation?

I think any man who truly thinks this should first hop on a plane to any major American city and take a look around. You will find plenty of women that care about their looks. Go to any college town* and you will find lots of slim, young hotties.

Somebody has to be buying up and wearing all the cosmetics, fancy clothes and jewelry that fill American malls.

This comment reminds me of men who say American women don't cook or clean house. Who the hell watches Cooking channel? How did Martha Stewart become a billionaire?

*except for Berkeley CA.

[TigerPaws]

[color="black"][size="2"]You really do NOT know AW very well if at all, most could care less what anyone thinks including themselves which is why they find themselves ALONE.[/size][/color]

What kind of backwoods area of the US do you come from to make this observation?

I think any man who truly thinks this should first hop on a plane to any major American city and take a look around. You will find plenty of women that care about their looks. Go to any college town* and you will find lots of slim, young hotties.

Somebody has to be buying up and wearing all the cosmetics, fancy clothes and jewelry that fill American malls.

This comment reminds me of men who say American women don't cook or clean house. Who the hell watches Cooking channel? How did Martha Stewart become a billionaire?

*except for Berkeley CA.

[size="4"][color="blue"]Jooky,

 If that is the way you feel then why are you on a RW board? You are very much in the minority on this, if you love AW so much why look for a RW/UW?

By-the-way I agree about the independent country of Berkeley.
[/color][/size]

[Jooky]

If that is the way you feel then why are you on a RW board?

Given that:

• I've been to Russia 9 times for a total of over 7 months, mostly during the past year.[/*]
  
• I've had nine young Russian women actually visit me. 2 more are coming soon.[/*]
  
• My friends used to process K-1 visas. I've learned a lot from them about the MOB industry. Most of it is not good.[/*]
  
• I have met many Russian women. I have many good Russian friends.[/*]
  
• I have a Russian girlfriend. I found her when I wasn't looking.

[/*]
I think I have something to offer to guys planning to travel to Russia for the first time in search of a woman.

You are very much in the minority on this

I hope not. I don't understand all the bitterness towards American women. Sure, there are obese women in the US. There are radical vegan feminazis. There are money grubbing gold diggers. There are women who want to compete with men in everything. I've never dated any of them. I've never even considered it.

There are plenty of nice women in America. You can't honestly tell me every woman you've met here is a ghastly beast. Have you never met a nice girl here? Never? There are women who look good. There are women who dress nice. There are educated women. Maybe they don't like you. Maybe they don't like me. But, they do exist.

I have dated nice women in the US. Haven't you ever had a girl bake you a tasty pie or chocolate chip cookies? Now that's an American tradition.

I've also dated nice women in Russia, and I do prefer a good borsch or solyanka to apple pie.

Just as there are some horrible women in America, there are also some horrible women in Russia. Many of them end up marrying Americans as a last recourse. The horror stories and disasters in progress grace these boards daily. Does that mean all Russian women are bad? Of course not. But neither are all American women.

Who cares? After all each of us needs but one good woman, right?

So expand your dating pool to Russia. That makes sense to me. I like Russia. It's as good of a place as any to meet women.

Cast off the women of one country in favor of those from a country of which you know absolutely nothing about? Now that's lunacy.

 

[dostogirl]

TigerPaws, no offence, but your blame of ALL AW makes me wonder..I truly believe that if an AM blames ALL women from his nation in being fat, stupid, selfish, etc...the problem is not in women, it's in that man. I think you faced several failures with AW and instead of trying to understand yourself and change yourself and your faults, you decided to change the surroundings by finding an RW, who will never question you the way AW do. All you have to do is just tell a RW that the way you behave and that your points of view are normal for guys and that almost everyone thinks like you (and you are trying to do it here, on the forum, but I'm not buying it:D). All you do is stress that if you are unhappy, you will leave the relationship and you state the reasons of your unhappiness here: gaining weight, wanting career, sharing family control. No word of trying to fix those problems together. You just seem very selfish to me here. Blaming everyone but yourself. You don't give your women any choice, live with me or leave me. It's just not healthy. You say you are a realist, but it seems to me you live in a wrong reality, you created an illusory world by marring a RW. Well, it's your choice and I hope you will live in your world happily. Afterall, it's all about you and your feelings, right?

[Photo Guy]

[color="#0000ff"][size="4"]Bruno I know a very respectable gentleman who's wife of 10 years had a blood vessel break in her head (aneurysm) which left her brain dead, yet her body continued to function, she could be fed, have her diaper changed and cared for, the body was there but no one was home anymore.
 Now tell me Bruno what would you do? Stay married or get a divorce and move on with your life?
[/size][/color]

I stay with her until her dead... some people are able to make this and other flee the responsability... it is a personal choice... my moral value cannot allow me to abandon the wife who have give me 10 year of hapiness because she have health problem... what ever is the moral or financial cost, i stay until the end.

[size="3"][color="navy"]I think I understand what Bruno is saying. When you make a commitment, you are agreeing to persevere through thick and thin, through good times and bad times.  Falling into those categories would be health situations and financial hardships, and other problems that should be overcome after working through them. And to that, I would add the concept of 'forgiveness'.
On the other hand, I understand that if one of the individuals chooses to hold onto a really bad attitude that involves a competitive power struggle, bailing out of the relationship might be the best tact.There is a world of difference between a woman saying, 'Sorry dear, but BIG is BEAUTIFUL and don't tell me what to eat!' and another woman saying, 'I know my added weight is a turn-off, but let's solve it. Let's try your idea of bicycling in the morning...'  My point is: It often comes down to 'attitudes' about problem solving and about how much you cherish the relationship as opposed to how much you value power and control.

Hey, I have very little practical experience, having never been married, but this is my opinion based on observations of other couples and human nature.  -doug[/color][/size][/b]

[TigerPaws]

TigerPaws, no offence, but your blame of ALL AW makes me wonder..I truly believe that if an AM blames ALL women from his nation in being fat, stupid, selfish, etc...the problem is not in women, it's in that man. I think you faced several failures with AW and instead of trying to understand yourself and change yourself and your faults, you decided to change the surroundings by finding an RW, who will never question you the way AW do.

[size="3"][color="red"]Ok first married to AW for 18 years, she turned into a drug addict so good bye, dated a few America women some very attractive all were gold diggers, the rest were nut cases.

I am not going to change, end of story so why not look to the FSU for something better and different? After spending 3 years working in Russia I came to understand theins there are different and their are far more opportunities for men than there are here in America so look where the hunting is better.

Selecting a RW was a long and complex operation which was in the end successful which by any measure is all that matters.
[/color][/size]
 All you have to do is just tell a RW that the way you behave and that your points of view are normal for guys and that almost everyone thinks like you (and you are trying to do it here, on the forum, but I'm not buying it:D).

[color="red"][size="3"]Ok no one asked you to, you are already here in America and married so my comments are not geared towards you, you are of course more than welcome to disagree and your thoughts on many issues are welcome but you speak from a womans point of view which is different than how a man will think.[/size][/color]

All you do is stress that if you are unhappy, you will leave the relationship and you state the reasons of your unhappiness here: gaining weight, wanting career, sharing family control. No word of trying to fix those problems together. You just seem very selfish to me here.

[color="red"][size="3"]Ok so what is wrong with being selfish? If you are unhappy with a relationship then leave, it is that simply why should I or anyone else go through life and be unhappy? Life is too short for that, a person must fine what makes themselves happy because no one else will be able to do that from them.[/size][/color]

 Blaming everyone but yourself. You don't give your women any choice, live with me or leave me. It's just not healthy.

[color="red"][size="3"]LoL, we have a saying in America "Its my way or the highway"[/size][/color]

 You say you are a realist, but it seems to me you live in a wrong reality, you created an illusory world by marring a RW. Well, it's your choice and I hope you will live in your world happily. Afterall, it's all about you and your feelings, right?

[color="red"][size="3"]YES! You are so right and if you live your life for someone else than where does that leave you? As for me I have made my choices and if you want know the truth far more men believe as I do than you caould possibly imagine.[/size][/color]

[groovlstk]

For Russian girls, the stakes in sex are pretty simple: money, and/or self-destructive adventure.

Is this article supposed to show Russian women in a positive light? It doesn't seem to.

I don't see how it's relevant to the discussion - i.e., whether the authors portray Russian women positively or negatively. The authors are American 30-something men who have lived in Russia for 10+ years. Their behavior at times is horrid, but you can take their observations at face value and draw your own conclusions.  

[dostogirl]

Ok so what is wrong with being selfish? If you are unhappy with a relationship then leave, it is that simply why should I or anyone else go through life and be unhappy?

Building hapiness on someone's unhappiness is not gonna work. You will  always run away at the sight of a slightest problem. But it seems you like it that way. Sorry, but I have to disagree with you on that lifestyle and problem solution.
:cool:

[TigerPaws]

Ok so what is wrong with being selfish? If you are unhappy with a relationship then leave, it is that simply why should I or anyone else go through life and be unhappy?

Building hapiness on someone's unhappiness is not gonna work. You will  always run away at the sight of a slightest problem. But it seems you like it that way. Sorry, but I have to disagree with you on that lifestyle and problem solution.
:cool:

[color="blue"][size="4"] I never said or suggested someone should build their happiness on someone elses unhappiness, just that a man needs to find what makes him happy.

Maybe you see it as running away but other's see things differently, often it is better to cut your losses and move on, again life is too short to waste time on a lost cause or on something that may be more difficult than the end result is worth.

[/size][/color][/quote]

[Photo Guy]

[color="navy"][size="3"]The authors have an  interesting view of RW and AW. A lot of it rings true, although I'd  steer clear of viewing their publication as some sort of 'Bible' or  words to live by. Glean something from it if you can, and discard the  other crap.

As for 'My way or the highway', I think that's a generally destructive  attitude. I think a guy has to put a certain amount of 'energy' into a  relationship. If racing cars is important to you, then naturally you  would devote time and energy to racing. If she's important to you, time  and energy should go to her, and vice versa. I'm not saying you should  spend 24 hours coddling her, but you should consider how much time and  energy you are using for her benefit. I find it's a positive vicious  circle. The energy you give to her comes back, goes full circle. If you  love her, what's the point in saying [color="blue"]'My way or the highway'?[/color] or [color="blue"]'Darling,  I know you hate squid, but the point is *I* like it, and I'm looking  forward to tonight's delicious feast. ..By the way, I love you very  much.'[/color] [/size][/color][/b]

[TigerPaws]

[size="4"][color="blue"]PG,

 Nothing anyone on any forum says should be taken with anything more than a grain of salt, as you said[/color]  [/size][color="navy"][size="3"]"Glean something from it if you can, and discard the  other crap."

[size="4"][color="blue"][/color][/size][/size][/color][/b][color="navy"][size="3"]
[/size][/color][/b]

[catzenmouse]

PG,

 Nothing anyone on any forum says should be taken with anything more than a grain of salt, as you said "Glean something from it if you can, and discard the other crap."

And keep your "Rubber Boots" handy 'cause it gets mighty deep around here sometimes... :D:D

Ken