Operation White Panther

[Patagonie]

flyin high is the greatest thing EVER!!!
feels like high altitude skiing

Pat are you a cliff/hill flyer or do you have to look for plowed fields with "thermals" ohhhh, you might have 'unexploded ordance" to deal with
also, French fields are GREAT metal detecting spots

if you fly off hills, do they have hang gliders there to?
I signed up with some dewds selling lessons and learned to fly hang gliders like 30 years ago (hill flying)
but my career put a stop to doing anything not work related
no place to fly here...too many obstructions...no hills
just swamps and gators

I don't really do anything interesting any more but write stuff...and let my psychosis build whatever phuqued up science fair projects it wants to, just to keep it busy and not be a nuisance
if you think bein a romantic is painful
then you don't wanna feel what it's like bein psychotic and you confront yurself over all the bad things you've done in yur life

my masters made me into a Golem
and for them, I took revenge on the world,
but after awhile, some new sentiment came to me
I started to feel sorry for those I hurt
the rabbi said, I should never feel pity
but through my own suffering I was beginning to feel other's as well
and this put an to my "service"
I just couldn't do it any more, cuz it was making me "sick"
and that's a major professional liability
so I did the right thing and quit

but damn, the skills I learned....

 
Hang gliders were very popular fourty years ago. Now I mainly see paragliders. I don't even remember a hang glider
for a long time to be franck.   
I am an expert in thermals and did a lot of stuff with cliff flying but in another category, but you know... In PM only please     
Why not restart a project, renew with a hobby you like or find one you gonna to like, learn a new language? That will be more motivating, you have very high IQ you cannot let the motor run without grease.
You surely did the right thing by quitting unethical and immoral organization , not because I have the right to judge others, but because many searches, especially during war time, showed that people working in dead (put whatever you want in this, it's just a metaphor) squad are inevitably suffering psychologically afterwards.

[krimster2]

"to be franck. "
yes, you are....

while I am le juif errant who walks in his jardain talking to birds
you are only considered 'truly mad' if you claim they talk back, so far they are mute to me
so i'm doin OK...medication works...passed the assessment the psych-tech gave me (only cuz it's easy to 'game' cuz I know what the correct answers are before I take the test)

understanding yur life is simple
just follow all the "cause and effects" that underly yur life, which are like the strings that pull a puppet
which is all we really are

Free Will, only applies to the "super ego" and NOT the ID or EGO
it's one of the things that bedevil us..a bad design...I blame GOD for this, er I mean EVOLUTION

[Patagonie]

"to be franck. "
yes, you are....

while I am le juif errant who walks in his jardain talking to birds
you are only considered 'truly mad' if you claim they talk back, so far they are mute to me
so i'm doin OK...medication works...passed the assessment the psych-tech gave me (only cuz it's easy to 'game' cuz I know what the correct answers are before I take the test)

understanding yur life is simple
just follow all the "cause and effects" that underly yur life, which are like the strings that pull a puppet
which is all we really are

Free Will, only applies to the "super ego" and NOT the ID or EGO
it's one of the things that bedevil us..a bad design...I blame GOD for this, er I mean EVOLUTION

   
All will be OK. 
Just focus on what you like or what you would like.

[krimster2]

ah oui monsier
always look on the bright side of life


or

[Patagonie]

ah oui monsier
always look on the bright side of life


or

   
 

[Patagonie]

CASUAL 
Disclaimer:For most people entering in the FSU ring,
You should, accordingly to what other writers of the forum said, bail out in such case (the case I started to describe since the page 68) due to the level of mixed signals.
And if it was a western women, Run Forest will be your motto MANDATORY. 
In the game it is also named one itis, and should be treated as moving out also to the next chick     
For personal reasons, 
I am not following this path. 
I will not come back to explain why, in fact most of my time I haven't followed the common path while carefully monitoring what was happening all over the world. 
     
So I am gonna to explain what's next and what is my mind now.
After having delivering an articulated message A/B/C/D (see previous posts) I got an outstanding psychological answer. She tried to come closer but after few days she couldn't follow. 
Conclusion: this women is not emotionally available at the moment. 
       
She needs time and her confidence (self esteem) is low. 
Mourning includes necessary steps which are described as: 
1/ denying   
2/ second chance 
3/ anger   
4/ depression
5/ freedom and ready to restart   
I think that she is around 4/ some others people would say 2/ or 3/ we don't know, and she maybe don't even know herself.   
     
It implies two things 
     
Making it casual
It's reframing and rewiring your entire card mental about her. Yes I know easier to write than easier to do.
It doesn't mean that I will not loose my temper and kick her ass anytime, I am not a robot. It could happen anytime, just accept it.But this work should get back to a protected way, out of some psychological forms of abuse, because what ML has written about stonewalling (thank ML to have learnt me another word) is that stonewalling becomes an abuse on the long term. 
Bad communication in a relationship leads to a damaged relationship or no relationship. 
For the moment she is not capable to manage a normal and efficient communication (and we don't even know if in the normal life she has an efficient communication with a man).
She has setup some milestones showing that she is eager and working for a future serious relationship but transversality in actions is low.She has even written "I am rebuilding"   
Making her stronger       
Nothing you can do yourself, but time will help her. As a consequence after I have stopped to communicate few days I have asked which tempo do you want me to adopt in my messages, proceeding as usual? She wrote as usual.So making more pressure on her, flooding her with messages will push her back from you.   
But on the other hand you still need to deliver her some good content. 
The first one is basically that you (for the moment) showing that you still pursue her. For example I will achieve the program I have started to prepare for her venue in my country.Everything that could help to improve her self confidence. Just read your heart, don't use any manipulation, just tell her Some positive things about her you have noticed. Be empathic.Show her your word and give her some stuff so she knows that you trustable. 

afterwards
Now tactically, and we come back to a previous post, I try to contain my temper, so I can deliver everything I have scheduled in the next two weeks. 
A real indicator of interest is coming soon, the 8th March. So I remember you that women's day, a VERY important day, and you should buy flowers for a lady (add YOUR if that the case). 
So if she don't give me any personal details to send a bouquet, that will be a REAL and DECISIVE SOD (sign of disinterest) that will end everything.
   
     
casual is just to consider, nothing more, that you maybe gonna to spend a good time with a lady you like and vice et versa, for a period of 10/15 days, during vacation time. And that's all I should think about and no more. 
   
 But to be frank, in the next very weeks if she don't step in a real collaboration for the visa process, it means again a strong SOD, and even if the delivery of the bouquet is successful, it will show me the exit lane. 

[krimster2]

mixed signals, cognitive dissonance
that comes from women who aren't "genuine" who aren't Bona Fide
just like you said
so they "limit" what they give you hoping you won't limit in return

this is the game they play with you
relying on yur love sick condition to give them the edge in the game so they can extract what they want from you, but not give what you want in return
this is how they get something for nothing
the ending to this game is ALWAYS the same

home boys don't play this, a house divided, cannot stand

someone like yurself, who dwells in the halls of the great French philosophers
must have discovered
that we have MORE than just 5 senses
there are "others"
you need to listen to

if ya find a genuine woman, and ya smile at her, she'll always return the smile
you reflect off of each other like an echo
and each reflection is stronger than the last
if...she's genuine
at least it seems so to "my eye" and how I see it

if she's not bona fide, but counterfeit, then spend her in a vending machine
and enjoy yur Snickers Bar

[ML]

Pat, thanks for your thorough and heartfelt write-up.
Yes, in terms used by our own Big Bill, he would have you 'kick any such woman to the curb!'
But then that would probably be very early in the situation.
You are further along with this woman,  so perhaps some mitigation called for.

I am thankful that I have never been in such a situation where I really cared for a woman, and she did not return the care.

(Note: as I wrote about here in some thread, I did get stuck for a month in Crimea with a gal who was much too moody for my taste.  She had not displayed such on our previous multiple dates in her home city.  But I was not committed to her and, in fact, she was not even my number one pick at the time.  However I wanted to take that vacation but my top two choices could not get time-off at that point,  and this gal could get unlimited time off.  I still acted the gentleman with her [telling her jokes, etc. to lighten up her mood] on the trip [and provided her with multiple sexual encounters every day], and waited until she was safely back in her home before I sent her the Dear Jane Letter.  I came to think later that her bad mood was caused by my not proposing marriage to her.)

Pat, if your gal really did have an affair with a Russian guy before, during and after your trip to Thailand . . . then perhaps she is still reeling from a sort of Dear Jane Message that he sent to her verbally or by his actions.

If so, it is going to take her quite some time to recover from that and you would be in some danger if you pursued as the 'rebound' guy.

[Patagonie]

Pat, thanks for your thorough and heartfelt write-up.
Yes, in terms used by our own Big Bill, he would have you 'kick any such woman to the curb!'
But then that would probably be very early in the situation.
You are further along with this woman,  so perhaps some mitigation called for.

I am thankful that I have never been in such a situation where I really cared for a woman, and she did not return the care.

(Note: as I wrote about here in some thread, I did get stuck for a month in Crimea with a gal who was much too moody for my taste.  She had not displayed such on our previous multiple dates in her home city.  But I was not committed to her and, in fact, she was not even my number one pick at the time.  However I wanted to take that vacation but my top two choices could not get time-off at that point,  and this gal could get unlimited time off.  I still acted the gentleman with her [telling her jokes, etc. to lighten up her mood] on the trip [and provided her with multiple sexual encounters every day], and waited until she was safely back in her home before I sent her the Dear Jane Letter.  I came to think later that her bad mood was caused by my not proposing marriage to her.)

Pat, if your gal really did have an affair with a Russian guy before, during and after your trip to Thailand . . . then perhaps she is still reeling from a sort of Dear Jane Message that he sent to her verbally or by his actions.

If so, it is going to take her quite some time to recover from that and you would be in some danger if you pursued as the 'rebound' guy.

   
ML very nice post.   
Yes in the disclaimer I have clearly stated that's not a situation I recommend. 
However I have proven on this board that many time when you come along a woman, especially if she is ranking quite high, most guys are naive to believe that she is alone waiting him, and I have showed that women are experts to let you believe it but most of the time, behind the screen there is one other guys or several guys in the orbit already. My experience in the field have CONSTANTLY proven this point. Swallow your red pill.
   
I have had a crush on her, nothing to do with my d...k, based on the meetings, and the very solid experience I have in dating. So believe me, if the meetings hadn't been so good I already have bailed out for a long time.
But there is wolf around the corner and I have been several time very confrontational about the hidden boyfriend because my radar was very quickly turned on.  At least there still one in her head.   
To be frank I intuitively felt that her travel in Moscow didn't help her. Did she met him? Possible. Did she cross some places where they have been? Just the fact he could have been in the city, even if she stayed quiet could have raised her reeling.
       
It's sure that she wants this situation to change.   
   
Of course I thought about the rebound guy. That's a classic in relationships. Breakups are 95% of time one deciding to leave the other but you are right I think that probably his actions made her moving out.
 
But I already wrote it I have a plan, and the plan is to say and deliver everything I have decided.
And soon she will have to go out of the woods for the bouquet and for the travel. I will totally stop to communicate if she don't move on.
In fact I am pretty happy to come close to these days. 
She don't know but the trap is set. I wait her in the corner.
   
So she will find herself very alone and that will be her damned problem and not mine
       
You will tell me and if she recontacts you in three months? I don't know what will be my mindset in threemonths. I am not a magician.   
CASUAL now for the moment, I have already said.

[krimster2]

"So she will find herself very alone and that will be her damned problem and not mine"

how I say it, "Bitches are forgotten"

there's a kind of stereotype about "Mediterranean People"
which also exists with latin American women,
"this' kinda personality, however you want to label it
"hot blooded"....
OTOH, Russians are some of the most cold blooded imaginable, I've only seen German women as being just slightly more cold blooded

so in addition to a comapability and communication problem, could it also be cultural?
all these together

if you are the "hot blooded" type then who do you think you're compatible with
i'm only compatible with cold blooded women, cuz I am even colder, and they feel warm enuff to me

coaxng affection from a Russian woman, is a form of very complicated performance art, which takes YEARS of practice

getting a naked russian woman all curled-up to give me a broad smile
always made my slinky go "doing doing doing"
Hasbro made some great toys, slinky, frisbee.....

[Patagonie]

"So she will find herself very alone and that will be her damned problem and not mine"

how I say it, "Bitches are forgotten"

there's a kind of stereotype about "Mediterranean People"
which also exists with latin American women,
"this' kinda personality, however you want to label it
"hot blooded"....
OTOH, Russians are some of the most cold blooded imaginable, I've only seen German women as being just slightly more cold blooded

so in addition to a comapability and communication problem, could it also be cultural?
all these together

if you are the "hot blooded" type then who do you think you're compatible with
i'm only compatible with cold blooded women, cuz I am even colder, and they feel warm enuff to me

coaxng affection from a Russian woman, is a form of very complicated performance art, which takes YEARS of practice

getting a naked russian woman all curled-up to give me a broad smile
always made my slinky go "doing doing doing"
Hasbro made some great toys, slinky, frisbee.....

 
I take note, but I would hear a lot of members here expressing their views on this topic 
Cold vs hot 
I haven't find all my SSR girlfriends to be especially cold. I have found them more emotional than the French girlfriends I had. 
But that's just my personal view. 
So it would be interesting to have some other opinions.

[krimster2]

my experience has been....
if a Russian woman is mad at you, she gives you the silent treatment
if a latin woman is mad at you, she will hit you or grab yur willy with both hands and pull as hard as she can
I prefer the silent reatment

[Patagonie]

my experience has been....
if a Russian woman is mad at you, she gives you the silent treatment
if a latin woman is mad at you, she will hit you or grab yur willy with both hands and pull as hard as she can
I prefer the silent reatment

 
 

[ML]

I only had one serious FSU gal that had a some what volatile (not violent) personality.  I didn't find out about it in short (few days) initial meetings, only later when committed to a few weeks together.  If not for this volatility we might well be married now, as she loved me more than anyone has . . . I think.

I had two who were somewhat moody, and one that was quite moody (I wrote about her in a recent earlier post).

All the rest were quite even tempered.

I would never put up long term with a moody or volatile gal, or even be friends with a man of the same temperament.   Life is too short.

[krimster2]

compatibility

I am not compatible with other people's mental illness, becuz of my own
I need a "straight" person to keep me in line
otherwise I will do the CRAZIEST things you can imagine
and 99% of the time, I get away with it
my wife has saved me so many times, I lost count
she even bailed me out of the psych ward, when they were trying to see if I was "dangerous"
by lying for me, and said I'd never hurt a fly

flies have souls
and are delicious
and it's how I speak with the master
I know I'm not supposed to say that though
so I just smile

since, we're all friends here, I feel comfortable sharing this information with you

[Patagonie]

compatibility

I am not compatible with other people's mental illness, becuz of my own
I need a "straight" person to keep me in line
otherwise I will do the CRAZIEST things you can imagine
and 99% of the time, I get away with it
my wife has saved me so many times, I lost count
she even bailed me out of the psych ward, when they were trying to see if I was "dangerous"
by lying for me, and said I'd never hurt a fly

flies have souls
and are delicious
and it's how I speak with the master
I know I'm not supposed to say that though
so I just smile

since, we're all friends here, I feel comfortable sharing this information with you

   
Krim bro, we are all friends here. Thank you to share how you feel, with us, and how specific you are. 
It gives you some special abilities to see some hidden paths in the world. 
You build your own emotional system to feel safe inside, and it worked over the years.   

[krimster2]

everything works, until it eventually fails
that's how life works

there is no consolation for being the one eyed man in the land of the blind
a civil war will be coming to America soon and i'm a Union Sympathyzer who lives in the confederacy
you MFers will never take me alive, last thing i'm ever gonn do is let ya'll transport me to the detention center
work will make ya free?
well then...get a job...i'm already free, you the one takin away freedoom...not me

[2tallbill]

CASUAL 
Disclaimer:For most people entering in the FSU ring,
You should, accordingly to what other writers of the forum said, bail out in such case (the case I started to describe since the page 68) due to the level of mixed signals.
And if it was a western women, Run Forest will be your motto MANDATORY. 

Pat is an experienced FSUW pursuer, but I would have kicked that girl to the curb many
cyber posts ago. I don't like it when people interrupt a trip report in progress.

It's really difficult to write while you are in country with boots on the ground. 
So I waited till now to post this.

[krimster2]

" I don't like it when people interrupt a trip report in progress. "

I don't like borscht, so what....I don't eat it...problem solved

i'm goona take a wild-assed guess and make the proposition that BEEL thinks everything I write is BS and everything he's writing is the Gospel of BEEL
when you look at someone like John Nash, and  view his contribution to knowledge vrs BEEL's
you can clearly see that Schitzophrenia is MUCH less of a mental handicap than being a MAGA voter
retardez = retarded = slowed down = hit the pause button on THINKING

I ain't no GENTLEMAN, so I don't obey yo gentleman's rules
the only rules I am obligated to obey are natures's and I break some of them to
so what...

[Patagonie]

So now we come to the final act. 
She wrote few days ago I am rebuilding, the noun form of this is perestroika.
Which means change.
As usual humans stick out to what please them.
   
But this verb has also and other meaning which is changing of lane (when driving a car), I was aware of this one also.
I checked with my teacher of Russian, and she first came along the second one. 
So I decided to ask to the Russian lady from Asia to clarify yesterday. 
Guess what, no answer. 
   
She reads everything I am sending to her but for 3 days no answers. 
That's the SSR silent treatment probably. 
The reason is probably one week ago I dare to tell her that Russian manners are making reciprocating when someone tell you good night. Each time it's like she don't even have 10 seconds to answer.
So it makes her angry. Her communication, most of the time, except in the beginning, and the few days she made some efforts in Moscow, is a piece of SHIT. 
But she  thinks that it's unfair that I bruise her ego a little bit. And she tried to push the culprit on me saying that I don't understand the crazy life she has to hold all, the work, the kids, the house. I perfectly understand but the problem is not
here. 
She simply don't want to invest her. And that's it. 
   
So I have finished the program for France. You don't want to invest yourself and don't send a copy of your passport? 
Perfect you don't come. It will save me of the burden of the visa.   
I will save a lot of money and if Ukraine reopens I will have a nice vacation with plenty of possible meetings. Or I will go in another country for tourism, who knows?   
I am just finishing the plan, it's just a question of two or three days now.
There a big letter already written and soon asking her address and her name for the women day. This last one is maybe about to be skipped.
The letter is empathic, well mannered, but it will kick her ass.
 I think I will publish it here but removing too personal details. 
I have noticed that there are a lot of people who read this topic. 
And I think that this letter could apply to some relationships when problem in communication occur. It, somehow, a bigger extend of the little A/B/C/D/ message I sent her 10 days ago. 
 

[Patagonie]

Gentlemen and non gentlemen     

Please hold your horses.

[Patagonie]

So she answered this morning to ask question about the visa process. 
       
There a moment, you need to take all of this story not seriously. And look it like a sort of science fiction experience
     
This topic becomes a laboratory where you have a new alien entering in the room. And almost every day.

Krim is a specialist of the Alien specy, Krim maybe I should readress her to you (no you told us that you quickly become another alien who bites the others, that will be bloody  )

[Patagonie]

Pat is an experienced FSUW pursuer, but I would have kicked that girl to the curb many
cyber posts ago. I don't like it when people interrupt a trip report in progress.

It's really difficult to write while you are in country with boots on the ground. 
So I waited till now to post this.

   
Thank you Bill to come here and drop a post.
   
I am used here to maintain a trip report whatever happens.
   
About what was happening,  I have put some real disclaimers. I have already warned severaltime that this type of start is not for everyone and not recommended.
     
I remind that (and I have been there, with a divorce under my belt) I am not marrying in my country.Everybody knows that you are accounted for three years of support in the USA for example.       
My situation is different. I can easily bail out anytime. It means that living abroad with her during the first months or years,I can bail out anytime and move to another country or return home.
And as I don't work anymore I am totally free.Remote and abroad relationship was part of my program and clearly stipulated in my ad.
And she reads everything I write, believe me.

[krimster2]

jeux sans frontières

all her behavior
should have been perceived
as angels Trumpeting God's words just for you
instead you took it as an obstacle to climb over
you are Mr Romantic - ya like "tilting at windmills"
I am Mr Pragmatic - my ONLY concern is finding out "what works"
when I was a young lad, and had several experiences like yurs
I finally concluded, "it ain't worth it
it don't work that way

you don't want to chase after
you want to be chased after instead

do it this way, success is guaranteed
why do you think women do it like this? cuz they ALL know what you don't
I captured one, and extracted a confession, that's how I found out

[Patagonie]

jeux sans frontières

all her behavior
should have been perceived
as angels Trumpeting God's words just for you
instead you took it as an obstacle to climb over
you are Mr Romantic - ya like "tilting at windmills"
I am Mr Pragmatic - my ONLY concern is finding out "what works"
when I was a young lad, and had several experiences like yurs
I finally concluded, "it ain't worth it
it don't work that way

you don't want to chase after
you want to be chased after instead

do it this way, success is guaranteed
why do you think women do it like this? cuz they ALL know what you don't
I captured one, and extracted a confession, that's how I found out

 
Maybe my English is still a little cripplde to have complete and clear understanding of everything you said
But I would say that you are in
"instead you took it as an obstacle to climb over
you are Mr Romantic - ya like "tilting at windmills"
I keep this Krim. 
The privilege of age is, in average, to make some gain on the humility.
The path of last resistance, I remember, I remember.