What is your wifes profession

[Bruno]

Likewise, market economies in the United States and other capitalist countries have integrated some aspects of socialist economic planning. Democratic countries typically place legal limits on the centralization of capital through anti-trust laws and limits on monopolies, though the extent to which these laws are actually enforced has to do with the balance of power between the actually existing or emerging monopoly firms, as well as political ties between government and some corporations (crony capitalism). Ownership of stock has become common for middle class workers, both in companies they work for and in other companies (mutual fund). Labor market pressures (labor economics) and regulations have encouraged profit sharing. Social welfare and unemployment insurance are mandated by law in the US, UK, Canada and other market economies. There is a lively debate today as to whether the world is moving closer to or farther away from "socialism", as defined by different people.

In some way, USA have copy some of the few good side of communist and apply them to the market economie...

Now, about the problem of wife staying home for take care of children or wife wishing work for make a career... it seem that the US system is better financially for wife staying home, certainly in case of more children...

Is it not a basis problem for American women... the need to choice between family or career... US women, in general, marry more late that the russian one, they wish first build some career, for some of them, they begin think about child when the biologic clock inform them that it is time to have child...

I don't know how make russian women now... in the time of communism, they was able to have a success career and have a family with several child... it seem that now, they have more problem to fullfil the two way and need make a choice... of course, economic problem don't help... maybe this can explain the lower birth rate that russia know now... Child in Russia become a luxe product, specialy when local men are not able to take care financialy of own family...

But what can be the situation of a woman ( American or foreign ) who is alone with child... How she can make for live alone when husband have divorced...  i begin understand the reason of long procedure and painly fight in case of divorce... mainly a financial fight...

Now, i begin understand the reply from some russian woman who wish work... these work is the reserve wheel in case of divorce... and these work only don't assure a good futur in case of child due to the high expense... so, this lead to big monetary fight in case of divorce...

Sorry, when i read painfull story here, with fighting divorce... i think that US economical system don't allow people with child to make other... a divorce like i have know with my own russian wife, peaceful, where each have follow his own way, ... so divorce is almost impossible in USA... if you ( or she ) have make the wrong choice in partner... both will pay the high price during all the rest of life... specially in case of child...

In so marriage, where the woman stay home for take care of child... the woman is like a bird in a gold cage... some with gold, a cage stay a cage... same if love don't exist between partner, they stay together for financial reason... him for not share his personal asset and her because she have no work and his not able to take care alone of his own children... so situation lead to marriage where both partner are unfaithful, lie, ... where both are unhappy...

Yes, Europa is make from socialist democrate country... and i feel that my personal liberty ( freedom ) is more big that in USA... i don't complain about it... a FSU bride seem to be a good choice for us... now so much problem for explain how work european society... we share some American and FSU value... this help us a lot...

In any case, no one system is perfect... the communist one have fail... the european one is very expensive and suffert from leech who use our social system for profit... the American one is good for these who work hard AND are lucky... yes, nothing is perfect... but personal choice can make that everywhere, everybody is able to find some hapiness

[TigerPaws]

[color="blue"][size="4"]Bruno,

 I had to give you a hard time about this subject, America is by no means perfect and neither is Europe while most people see tne need for a social net for the truly needy. Governments always to grow to fill a preceived need and taxes come from the real working people not from the Government who produces nothing and spends money like there is not tomorrow.
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[Todd]

Bruno...

A few notes on my #'s...

$50 for a meal for two adults and two young children strikes me as relatively
conservative.  When I'm on the road, which is about 20  days/month,  dinners generally cost about $40 for just me. 


The child care numbers might be $100 or so off per month....About 5  years ago, child care was $1,100/month for a friend of mine with one  kid.  When Kate has children, roughly 9 years will have  elapsed.  So, I just escalated with inflation.  Also, if Kate  works, this area of expense is NOT one that I'm going to try to get the  lowest price.  Finally, this estimate assumed that all of that  total was tax deductible...which is probably incorrect. 

Any tax benefits from children were not included as they would be the  same in either alternative (whether working or not working).

Finally, Boston and othr large cities in the Northeast are VERY  expensive.  If I were to buy a house in my neighborhood, the going  rate is roughly $600/sq. foot at the moment...which is roughly  $5,500/sq meter.

[Bruno]

Finally, Boston and othr large cities in the Northeast are VERY expensive.  If I were to buy a house in my neighborhood, the going rate is roughly $600/sq. foot at the moment...which is roughly $5,500/sq meter.

$5500/sq meter ... in some way, we have no universal tool who allow us to say how much money is needed... each need make his personal budget...

Situation like this already exist in Russia... price of ground and life is very high in Moscow... and very low in little city...

But the point is that you don't need only see the economical side of the situation... several women from FSU wish make a career... and be mother...

In any case, only housekeeping will be boring for her with time... side activity is needed... not only in form of usual pay work, it can be free work a few hours week for some association... simply ask your wife/fiancee what she wish and respect her choice...

[TerrynNC]

Along these same lines - I am trying to find info on how a doctor in Ukraine would go about becoming a doctor in the USA.  I have seen references to this info in other places on the internet but I am having no luck in finding any of it now.  Thanks.

[Admin]

Along these same lines - I am trying to find info on how a doctor in Ukraine would go about becoming a doctor in the USA. I have seen references to this info in other places on the internet but I am having no luck in finding any of it now. Thanks.

Terry,

You might want to post a NEW topic in the Married forum and ask how others have overcome the many obstacles.

Good luck,

- Dan

[Oosik]

Todd,
Your $40 meals are a bit much, unless it's in trendy places or in big cities. I Can eat fine in Alaska, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Texas for less than $20 easy, all sit down meals. Call me cheap, but I blanch at paying more than $12including tip. I prefer to hit a mexican lunch truck and eat like an absolute king for $7-$10.

[Leslie]

Ahem,

Why is it that Americans always seem to resolve things in terms of money??

A lot of guys looking for an FSU wife appear simply chauvinist. 

Whether your wife stays at home as a full time house wife or pursues a career has VERY LITTLE to do with money (unless poverty gives you no choices).

The main factor is what your wife wants.

I earn enough money from my business to have choices.  If my wife wants to play in an orchestra I am not going to quibble about whether she will earn enough money to pay a nanny.  I am not that cheap....

[Bruno]

The main factor is what your wife wants.

[Oosik]

Ahem,

Why is it that Americans always seem to resolve things in terms of money??

Alot of guys looking for an FSU wifeappear simply chauvinist.

Whether your wife stays at home as a full time house wife or pursues a career has VERY LITTLE to do with money (unless poverty gives you no choices).

The mainfactor is what your wife wants.

I earn enough money from my business to have choices. If my wife wants to play in an orchestra I am not going to quibble about whether she will earn enough money to pay a nanny. I am not that cheap....

It must be nice to be so wealthy. But sadly, many wealthy people don't really get it that not everyone has the luxury to make the same choices. For many, what the wife wants and what the wife gets is based on economic imperative. If you want to dismiss those of us who don't have such a lavish lifestyle as in poverty, so be it, but you are not being real. Do you really think most people can afford a nanny?

[TigerPaws]

[color="blue"][size="4"]  I would no more leave our daughter with either a nanny or day care, I have experienced first hand how bad those choices can be, their is no [/size][/color][color="#0000ff"][size="4"]substitute for either the mother or  the father. A grandparent could be an acceptable second choice but not a  stranger, you are asking for disaster, I have personally experienced what  can happen at the hands of "professional" day care, children have and do die and  no one should have to experience that.[/size][/color]    [color="#0000ff"][size="4"]

 If you can not afford to have either  parent stay at home with your child or at the very least a grandmother stay full  time then simply do not have a child, it is that simple.[/size][/color]

[dostogirl]

 <sub>I have personally experienced what can happen at the hands of "professional" day care, children have and do die and no one should have to experience that.   

 If you can not afford to have either parent stay at home with your child or at the very least a grandmother stay full time then simply do not have a child, it is that simple.</sub>

Being a professional caregiver, I am shocked by things you say. I come from a family of teachers, as well as my husband and when there are cases of unprofessional care, to say things you say is just silly.

There are parents who kill their kids, does it mean that no one is supposed to have children?

[Leslie]

If you are poor you don't have choices.  You BOTH have to work to make ends meet.

No Babushka's - Can't afford child care.  Then you work shifts.  Lots of women work the evening shift because thats the only option open to them.

If you earn less than a median income you ARE better off living in socialist Europe.  In UK if a single mother decides to work ALL her childcare costs are paid + she gets a tax credit to ensure that she will be better off working than staying home on benefits.  

Sure your wife can stay at home and look after the kids.  If you earn enough money to support your family.  If your wife wants to do this - but that is her decision.  If you feel so strongly about the evil nature of child care then stay home and do the job yourself !!

 

[TigerPaws]

[color="blue"][size="5"] If you can not afford to have either parent stay at home with your child or at the very least a grandmother stay full time then do not have a child, it is that simple.[/size][/color][color="blue"][size="5"]
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[dostogirl]

If you can not afford to have either parent stay at home with your child or at the very least a grandmother stay full time then do not have a child, it is that simple.

I've though I was sarcastic here, now you oficially beat me in this one.

[Todd]

Ooslik,

I agree...Boston food / restaurant prices ARE a bit much.  I grew up in Northern Mi and there prices were 1/2 what they are in Boston.  Also, my $50 assumption has built in delivery costs.  If you are driving to get food, be sure to factor in gas, etc.  Remember that the $50 represents My food/Kate's food/and 2 hypothetical kids plus delivery costs which are generally about $10 (flat charge).

Todd

[Wild Orchid*]

It just happened to be that majority of answers here came from men who wives are staying at home mums. If you'll go to women's forum you will see that most of the members have jobs, some of them really good ones, those who don't are studying in the colleges or Unis. It is really up to you and your husband. Just few months ago I've got a job as a laboratory assistant. I like it a lot. So far I'm happy.

[TigerPaws]

[user=807]Wild Orchid*[/user] wrote:

[size="3"]It just happened to be that majority of answers here came from men who wives are staying at home mums. If you'll go to women's forum you will see that most of the members have jobs, some of them really good ones, those who don't are studying in the colleges or Unis. It is really up to you and your husband. Just few months ago I've got a job as a laboratory assistant. I like it a lot. So far I'm happy.

[color="blue"][size="4"]And at the end of the day that is all that matters Wild Orchid, that you and your husband are happy. My lady is happy not having to work and she is not interested in working anymore.[/size][/color]
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[Wild Orchid*]

 My lady is happy not having to work and she is not interested in working anymore.


 

Was I arguing with this statement? It just happened that almost every man who answered here said that his wife is a housewife. The author of this topic might understand that women don't work at all, and it is not true. Besides, all of you stated that you wives are staying at home because of the kids. Those with older kids or without them don't have that reasoning.

 

Just curios. Your wife is not interested in working anymore. What does she do during day?

[TigerPaws]

[user=807]Wild Orchid*[/user] wrote:

[size="3"][color="#0000ff"][size="4"][/size][/color][/size][size="3"]Just curios. Your wife is not interested in working anymore. What does she do during day?

 [color="blue"][size="4"]Believe me we have a lot to do aboard our floating home SeaQuest OE Wild Orchid, swimming almost every day, exploring the local islands, repairing and maintaining our vessel as well as writing a book and making a film of our adventures. Additionally careing for our 3-1/2 year old daughter takes up a lot of time and besides my lady is very happy being a friend, lover, wife and mother to our daughter so a career is not important to her.[/size][/color]
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[Wild Orchid*]

And I'm enjoing being a friend, lover, wife and mother to my son and having very interesting full-time job at the same time. I stayed at home for 8 month and found it very boring. I'm a people person, you are obviosly not. Everyone to his or her own. 

[catzenmouse]

Elena is working part time in a fabric store right now. She would like to eventually work full time but this works out for us so that she can be home when Sergei gets home from kindergarden. She's also taking advanced ESL classes so that she can go back to school and earn a degree.

Ken

[Vaughn]

If I were to poll AM/R/UW couples in this area of the country, I'd bet that 75%+ have working wives. A few work out of necessity, but most because they simply want to. When my first two children came along, my ex-wife took several years off from her nursing career to tend the daughters - it, for us, was gratifying - and eliminated the burden and pitfalls of outside daycare.

This topic, IMO, should without question be discussed at length before anyone begins filling out an I-129....

[catzenmouse]

This topic, IMO, should without question be discussed at length before anyone begins filling out an I-129....

 Fully agree with Vaughn here. (How's it going Vaughn? Hi to Elvira from us!)

 A couple of the things that she needs to know is that for all intents and purposes she cannot work for approximately the first year and that most if not all of her education will be meaningless here. She will either have to start from scratch and retrain herself in the system here or take a low level job to get into the workforce while she keeps looking or taking classes.

 {All thoughts expressed here are the opinion of the author and are in no way the absolute in any specific situation}

Ken

[Goldtop]

 If you can not afford to have either parent stay at home with your child or at the very least a grandmother stay full time then do not have a child, it is that simple.

Plushenko was born in Solnechi, in Siberia, and moved to Volgograd (formerly Stalingrad) when he was very young. There, his mother, Tatyana, started a 4-year-old "Zhenya" in skating. When he was 11, the rink in Volgograd closed, so Tatyana moved Yevgeny to St Petersburg where he remained alone with his coach.

There is no way to predict how a child will respond - sometimes through lonliness one can achieve greatness. Sometimes through priviledge one can be ruined.