Dr. Phil Show Attacks International Marriages Friday

[Mark Davis]

OK, HERE WE GO!


They actually decided to air the Dr. Phil Show episode on "Mail Order Brides".  Jeez.  I am so grateful for all of the comments we got when we posted this article "Dr. Phil Show Mail Order Bride Disaster" last February when I lamented over this production. If you haven't already, PLEASE READ THAT ARTICLE and Share it to your social networks.


At that time I simply asked the question, what can we do to make noise and stand up to injustice like this for the sake of the happy and healthy international marriages?


This is what we came up with. First, we just issued this national press release: "Dr Phil Blew It on Mail Order Bride Show"  Here's an outtake:

"Using the hack, outdated, term 'mail order brides' in the show title was the first clue that Dr. Phil was going Jerry Springer in search of ratings. Putting a morbidly obese 60-plus-year-old self-described 'victim' and a man even Dr. Phil classified as in the top .01% of all the control freaks he'd met on as examples of international romance guaranteed an epic fail.
"The problems in these marriages had zero to do with the fact that they began via an international romance tour. The guys spent too much time bashing American women, and avoiding their own responsibilities."

Then we're holding a live uStream cast event to give a voice to our side and watch the broadcast live and chat about it. I hope to get some additional media  interviews out of this as well.


What do you think of this strategy? Is there anything more we could be doing?


If you feel as we do and you wish to help, please share these articles and forum post and then get on the uStream cast Friday to join the conversation and speak out.


Thanks,


Mark & Anna

[mendeleyev]

Hi Mark,
 
I'm always amazed at the duplicity of those of us in media.
 
I don't have any scientific data but in travels routinely run across other broadcast and print professionals involved in international marriages. On a recent trip a young (38 ish) reporter was more interested in having me translate letters from his 19 year old Ukrainian girl than the event we were working to coordinate coverage. While media participation in international marriage is by no means relegated solely to foreign based media professionals, a great number of international journalists have found our spouses while serving a foreign posting, as was my case, or met their spouse via the exposure and opportunity afforded by work related travel.
 
For at least two decades major Universities have schooled journalism and media students in the disgustingly deceitful philosophy of "advocacy journalism" in which the role of media is purposely and actively taught as a means of achieving so-called "change" and "justice." The idea of being truthful in reporting and then allowing a listener or reader to make up their own minds about an issue hasn't been taught for over 20 years and is in fact ridiculed in the institutions where journalism students are trained.
 
The airing of such shows is sadly yet another example of political correctness eschewing truth and common sense in favour of delivering the "correct" message by those who feel the general public needs to be programmed on how to think about this issue.
 

[GQBlues]

 

....All three of these men spent a lot of their air time bashing women at home. They repeatedly used exaggerated generalizations to demonize every female in North America......

So, so untrue! I don't know of anyone, ever, who even remotely thought of such a thing here or anywhere, let alone openly express it. This isn't fair at all. So untrue. I can't believe it. Shame, shame, shame...

[Mark Davis]

Mendeleyev:


Thanks for the affirmation from a journalist's perspective.  Love your blog site, by the way.  I may reference some of your info from time to time - always giving an attrib or link, of course.


GQBlues, dude, you are hilarious.  As our founding fathers once said, "these truths we hold as self-evident".  But when all they do is bash it actually backfires.  Instead of pointing out the obvious (Western women don't need men and shove that in their face continually), it makes the men look weak.  Nonetheless, sarcasm has a brilliance of its own and I loved your post.

[Rubicon]

It's been very popular in America to make TV commercials where the guy is always an idiot and the woman who is a rocket scientist who saves the day.  So some guys probably take this stuff too personal.  I think a man (or a woman!) should look where ever they can for romance and love, if they are not happy with what they are finding in their backyard.  It's really too bad that "Dr" Phil decided to just mostly show negative loser type of guys who probably do not properly represent most relationships between a person born in USA and a foreign spouse.

I also wonder if he pointed out that the divorce rate of 40% for such couples is about 10% less than the divorce rate in America.

[mendeleyev]

Thanks for the affirmation from a journalist's perspective.  Love your blog site, by the way.  I may reference some of your info from time to time - always giving an attrib or link, of course.

Thanks, and of course that would be fine.
 
As time allows we're expanding out little media "empire" and already have a 24 hour streaming Smooth Favorites (smooth jazz and memorable oldies) format with the beginning of some talk show features on an adjacent channel at www.MyFavoriteChannel.com
 
A planned Russian language variety channel with pop music and talk features will come on line early next year if not sooner.
 

[bleau]

My thoughts on Dr. Phil is the old saying...stupid is as stupid does...

[tfcrew]

The 'hot sauce and cold shower thread'
Yeah, Dr Philofhimself .....................


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=12984.0

[GoodOlBoy]

I never watched Dr. Phil before tonight.
Marina and I just watched the MOB show together (I VCR'd it).
Just our personal opinions.
We saw a bunch of old, overweight, bald and stupid behaving goats chasing 20-30 year old FSUW and making fools of themselves on national television.
I definitely did not see any kind of "set up" or "ambush" on Dr. Phil's part.
On the contrary, the "gentlemen"  in question were able to make all men in search of FSU brides look desperate and stupid all by themselves, with no help from Dr. Phil.
 
GOB

 
BTW.....I was waiting for "Manly Man" to make a cameo appearance on the show with his teen bride.

[Admin]

I never watched Dr. Phil before tonight.
Marina and I just watched the MOB show together (I VCR'd it).
Just our personal opinions.
We saw a bunch of old, overweight, bald and stupid behaving goats chasing 20-30 year old FSUW and making fools of themselves on national television.
I definitely did not see any kind of "set up" or "ambush" on Dr. Phil's part.
On the contrary, the "gentlemen"  in question were able to make all men in search of FSU brides look desperate and stupid all by themselves, with no help from Dr. Phil.
 
GOB

 
BTW.....I was waiting for "Manly Man" to make a cameo appearance on the show with his teen bride.

You gotta be kidding . . .

You acknowledge that what Dr. Phil *CHOSE* to show was; "a bunch of old, overweight, bald and stupid behaving goats chasing 20-30 year old FSUW and making fools of themselves," and follow that by saying you; "definitely did not see any kind of "set up" or "ambush" on Dr. Phil's part."

I guess it follows the old adage that people see ONLY that which they WANT to see.

From even your brief description, I would challenge the legitimacy and accuracy of the pool of "old, overweight, bald and stupid" men that Dr. Phil **SELECTED**. Does the group he selected comport with the impartial demographics that we know to be true? [Expecting the obvious question - WHAT demographics do we know to be true?] The following -- http://www.goodwife.com/survey/xcultural_p01.html.

Were the men Dr. Phil selected LESS THAN 10 years difference in ages from their fiances/wives? If not, then Dr. Phil's show is yet another in a long series of gross mischaracterizations and lies by the media designed to boost ratings at the expense of their own intellectual honesty.

GOB, I receive requests from the media constantly. I have one unanswered sitting in my in-box for the past several days - actually, two from the same person anxious to gain my assistance for a "Major Cable Network." Not too long ago I provided some assistance to The LifeTime Channel for a program that may be aired in the near future. I know from VERY extensive experience with the media the kinds of 'agendas' they have, and how to flush it out of them before committing to any humiliating or embarrassing displays. As you have witnessed, there are others much less experienced, or who have a much greater threshold for humiliating experiences than me - and those are the ones you find on those programs. I make that claim with acknowledged deference to GQBlues and Mark Davis and Donhollio and Jack - all RWD members who have taken the risk to appear on camera with media that I probably would have passed by.

Sadly, your comments have proven - based on this single datapoint anyway - that Dr. Phil is a sham. While I have almost never watched his program, my general sense has been that he has somewhat more credibility than most program hosts in that genre. I no longer believe that to be true - and, in fact, am persuaded that he is no better than the Jerry Springer's of the world - just with slightly more polish, education and vocabulary.

To the extent one believes what they see on Jerry Springer - they should give no greater credibility to Dr. Phil.

Are you a Jerry Springer fan GOB?

- Dan

[Rubicon]

You gotta be kidding . . .

You acknowledge that what Dr. Phil *CHOSE* to show was; "a bunch of old, overweight, bald and stupid behaving goats chasing 20-30 year old FSUW and making fools of themselves," and follow that by saying you; "definitely did not see any kind of "set up" or "ambush" on Dr. Phil's part."

I guess it follows the old adage that people see ONLY that which they WANT to see.

From even your brief description, I would challenge the legitimacy and accuracy of the pool of "old, overweight, bald and stupid" men that Dr. Phil **SELECTED**. Does the group he selected comport with the impartial demographics that we know to be true? [Expecting the obvious question - WHAT demographics do we know to be true?] The following -- http://www.goodwife.com/survey/xcultural_p01.html.

Were the men Dr. Phil selected LESS THAN 10 years difference in ages from their fiances/wives? If not, then Dr. Phil's show is yet another in a long series of gross mischaracterizations and lies by the media designed to boost ratings at the expense of their own intellectual honesty.

GOB, I receive requests from the media constantly. I have one unanswered sitting in my in-box for the past several days - actually, two from the same person anxious to gain my assistance for a "Major Cable Network." Not too long ago I provided some assistance to The LifeTime Channel for a program that may be aired in the near future. I know from VERY extensive experience with the media the kinds of 'agendas' they have, and how to flush it out of them before committing to any humiliating or embarrassing displays. As you have witnessed, there are others much less experienced, or who have a much greater threshold for humiliating experiences than me - and those are the ones you find on those programs. I make that claim with acknowledged deference to GQBlues and Mark Davis and Donhollio and Jack - all RWD members who have taken the risk to appear on camera with media that I probably would have passed by.

Sadly, your comments have proven - based on this single datapoint anyway - that Dr. Phil is a sham. While I have almost never watched his program, my general sense has been that he has somewhat more credibility than most program hosts in that genre. I no longer believe that to be true - and, in fact, am persuaded that he is no better than the Jerry Springer's of the world - just with slightly more polish, education and vocabulary.

To the extent one believes what they see on Jerry Springer - they should give no greater credibility to Dr. Phil.

Are you a Jerry Springer fan GOB?

- Dan

OUCH!!!!

[Admin]

OUCH!!!!

Yeah - probably a bit harsh. Maybe not.

GOB's 'hot button' for age gaps combined with his frequent oppressive cynicism does manage to light a small spark in me from time to time.

- Dan

[Daveman]

...

From even your brief description, I would challenge the legitimacy and accuracy of the pool of "old, overweight, bald and stupid" men that Dr. Phil **SELECTED**. Does the group he selected comport with the impartial demographics that we know to be true? [Expecting the obvious question - WHAT demographics do we know to be true?] The following -- http://www.goodwife.com/survey/xcultural_p01.html.

...

I suggest anyone who still hasn't taken a keen look into this data take 10 minutes or so to do so ... it's well worth it. 


 

[Boethius]

The Dr. Phil shows about providing life advice, or life strategy advice.  It's not a news programme.  Dr. Phil is a licensed psychologist, not a journalist.  The men he featured were all men who obviously needed psychological help.

[Daveman]

The Dr. Phil shows about providing life advice, or life strategy advice.  It's not a news programme.  Dr. Phil is a licensed psychologist, not a journalist.  The men he featured were all men who obviously needed psychological help.

Yeah, but he's old, bald, and fat! 

[Admin]

The Dr. Phil shows about providing life advice, or life strategy advice.  It's not a news programme.  Dr. Phil is a licensed psychologist, not a journalist.  The men he featured were all men who obviously needed psychological help.

All true - and I wonder if Dr. Phil, in full and complete disclosure, told the men explicitly that his show is designed to showcase those in desperate need of psychological treatment (or meds - or institutionalization), and that THEY would be his poster child(ren).

My hunch is that he (Dr. Phil) probably *does* provide some level of this type of disclosure buried deep within the bowels of the release I suspect each guest must sign - but Mark could provide confirmation.

As I looked over the Dr. Phil program page dedicated to this show, the 'pitch' to the viewing public is not that he is, by design, portraying only a sick subset of participants - as that pitch would likely not draw as many viewers. Instead he focuses on the danger (the guy who was held at gunpoint and almost killed while pursuing a RW), the abuse (always popular with the feminist agenda), and the unusual (large age gaps).

While all aspects of the program represent elements in this pursuit - the focus on the sensational is, in truth, a mischaracterization of the much broader facts and realities. Sure, he does this in probably ALL the topics for his programs - so to that extent, it should be no surprise and maybe we (I) should feel less offended. Maybe it is that I considered Dr. Phil to be better than this - to offer a balanced and reasonable and FACTUAL perspective, and failing that, it disappoints and offends me.

Well, he'll just have to live with the fact that my being offended is probably not going to cost him a single nickel amongst the millions he makes for his efforts.

 

- Dan

PS - gotta be careful, I am going to have to change my moniker to "MoreJaded [than SeriouslyJaded]". 

[Rubicon]

The Dr. Phil shows about providing life advice, or life strategy advice.  It's not a news programme.  Dr. Phil is a licensed psychologist, not a journalist.  The men he featured were all men who obviously needed psychological help.

I do not think that he made that clear to his guests prior to the show.  And he is working as BOTH a journalist and a psychologist, therefore he should be willing to examine BOTH sides of the story--not just the negative side of it.

[Ravens9273]

I watched this show myself and was pretty disgusted with it.
 
As Dan mentioned they purposly chose the Men to make it look like only losers and control freaks search for a foreign bride.
I also noticed whenever someone tried to correct Dr Phil to belief's they were cut off to show a video of someone putting it down.
 
They also played a double standard with the Women.
 
The Women were portrayed as gold diggers and only wanting a green card.
However these same Women when with a Man were portrayed as victims of an abuser.
 
There was nothing nice about this show at all.
Even when owner of foreign affair tried to stick up for it and point out the good things, right away Dr Phil cut him off and went into how one of the Men on stage married a lady who cost him 100k in medical bills then divorced him and they met through a foreign affair.
 
I also enjoyed how they made it look so dangerous to go to Russia and Ukraine with the sotry of the one guy almost getting killed twice. While I am sure something like that can happen it can happen just as easily here in our home towns.
How often have we seen a member here say they were kidnapped and help at fun point in the FSU?

[OlgaH]

Yeah, but he's old, bald, and fat! 

  (He forgot to mention "fat")

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB025a4_RNs[/youtube]

[Admin]

I do not think that he made that clear to his guests prior to the show.  And he is working as BOTH a journalist and a psychologist, therefore he should be willing to examine BOTH sides of the story--not just the negative side of it.

>>I do not think that he made that clear to his guests prior to the show.<<

At this point, both your comment and mine on this point are pure conjecture. Fortunately, we have Mark Davis (the OP) who should be able to provide a definitive answer as to what was divulged in advance, and what was not.

GQBlues was, as I recall, a part of the infamous Tyra Banks debacle - or at least he was present, though any releases/waivers signed for one program may be radically different from the other.

And BTW - while you and I may feel like he "should" be showing all sides of an issue, I suspect Dr. Phil would pull an Albert Ellis on you/us and tell us both that OUR impressions of what "should be" do not control, or even influence in most cases, what IS.

If we feel that what "should be" is not what was done - then jump aboard some of the initiative Mark outlined in the OP and set the record straight.

FWIW

- Dan

[pitbull]

The Dr. Phil shows about providing life advice, or life strategy advice.  It's not a news programme.  Dr. Phil is a licensed psychologist, not a journalist.  The men he featured were all men who obviously needed psychological help.

I agree with Boethius.
Just watched the show with my husband. Turned out to be much better than I thought, I think Dr. Phil did a good job trying to not appear partial. Especially with "you shouldn't generalize both American women and Eastern European women". He actually did say he believes many people on both sides of international dating are really looking for love.

Even the two old silly goats looking for young RW actually appeared to be quite humanly, cute and adorable Which proves the point I argued for in my last college class: high intellect doesn't mean someone is a better person; equally one can be totally dumb but a genuinely nice human being.

[OlgaH]

What makes people go on Dr. Phil show?
http://askville.amazon.com/makes-people-Dr-Phil-show/DiscussionBoard.do?requestId=7363143&page=1

Some of the comments:

"... it will be humiliating, however other than seeing dr phil we will not be able to get the counseling necessary!...  We cant afford it otherwise... Masochism and self-loathing... Sometimes it's desperation... Psychiatriac care is not cheap and people with real mental illnesses fall through the cracks."

[Admin]

What makes people go on Dr. Phil show?
http://askville.amazon.com/makes-people-Dr-Phil-show/DiscussionBoard.do?requestId=7363143&page=1

Some of the comments:

"... it will be humiliating, however other than seeing dr phil we will not be able to get the counseling necessary!...  We cant afford it otherwise... Masochism and self-loathing... Sometimes it's desperation... Psychiatriac care is not cheap and people with real mental illnesses fall through the cracks."

Is there some assurance of receipt of counseling?!? The program itself surely does not qualify. Even the most stalwart Ellis (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) practitioner would be unlikely to support a public humiliation model.

- Dan

[Boethius]

The Dr. Phil show provides after show counselling and treatment for guests.  Of course, guests won't necessarily avail themselves of the services offered.

[Rubicon]

The Dr. Phil show provides after show counselling and treatment for guests.  Of course, guests won't necessarily avail themselves of the services offered.

That part is honorable. There's just the little part that is NOT honorable, and that is humiliating them in front of the entire world.