Considering leaving the fourm

[AsH]

I have recieved some good advice on here from some members  mostly Kuna,JR I/O thanks for that by the way but now i feel for all the good advice on here there is a alot of bad advice aswell and peoples jaded opinions on things ect. Also i dont intend to type pages and pages of trip reports also so not much point being on here realy....
 
AsH

[Kuna]

Ash,

I may have mentioned early on that your chances of finding the woman you seek depend on many things... including which advice you listened to.

When I started out I felt some of the posters were very harsh... at times being brutal.  There were a few members who were VERY eager to help and freely offered up some their best advice.

Back at that time,  it turned out the harsh ones were the ones with real experience and true knowledge and the rah rah crowd were completely deluded. 

People come and go in these forums but I would encourage you to stick around or take a break and come back from time to time.  if you're staying on this journey there will be times you will benefit from the stories of others and you will still undoubtedly have questions from time to time.  I think most men fade out a little after marriage and then when life settles down we tend to use RWD for a different reason...  kinda like reminiscing - getting together to remember the good old time with people you hardly even know.

It certainly can get a bit arduous in here at times...  I see some posters of late who I believe have no clue but if we all walk away we KNOW future newbies will suffer from their advice.

You've got some experience now... jump in...  or jump out for a bit but always feel welcome to come back from time to time.

All the best with whatever decision you make - and please stay in touch.

Giddyup!

Kuna

[Ade]

I've always been of the opinion that if you really need more than practical logistics advice then you shouldn't be looking abroad for a wife. And if you can't filter the opinions that you don't like or let them get to you then you should probably leave; you'll be happier for it.

[Kuna]

I've always been of the opinion that if you really need more than practical logistics advice then you shouldn't be looking abroad for a wife. And if you can't filter the opinions that you don't like or let them get to you then you should probably leave; you'll be happier for it.

What about opinions/advice like (especially in PM) when someone says,  "XYZ is a great guide that lots of members here use. Here's his email, website and phone number.  Good luck on your trip"???

So, based on that advice you use them and they try to blatantly rip you off (and succeed until you put your foot down and the blow up threatening to throw you out of the car on the way to the airport)???

On return you comment about it in the forum and the original dude THEN informs you that he's never actually used the guide, was going to once but didn't end up making that trip.   

I think it's hard at times to work out who's full of BS and who's not.  This is the reason I suggested the member stats be added under his avatar a few years ago because we get men that have been searching for a wife for YEARS and continually fail but continue to offer dumb advice (that gets them into trouble) to newbies.

I reckon the value of RWD is in the varied opinions we have... but there are some members who truly don't have a clue.

I hope Ash stays...  but like all of us he needn't be here all the time.

[AsH]

It wont hurt at all to hang around here  as kuna said some opinions are worth reading  its just funny why some members spend so much energy arguing on a internet fourm 

[Ade]

What about opinions/advice like (especially in PM) when someone says,  "XYZ is a great guide that lots of members here use. Here's his email, website and phone number.  Good luck on your trip"???

So, based on that advice you use them and they try to blatantly rip you off (and succeed until you put your foot down and the blow up threatening to throw you out of the car on the way to the airport)???

On return you comment about it in the forum and the original dude THEN informs you that he's never actually used the guide, was going to once but didn't end up making that trip.   

I think it's hard at times to work out who's full of BS and who's not.  This is the reason I suggested the member stats be added under his avatar a few years ago because we get men that have been searching for a wife for YEARS and continually fail but continue to offer dumb advice (that gets them into trouble) to newbies.

I reckon the value of RWD is in the varied opinions we have... but there are some members who truly don't have a clue.

I hope Ash stays...  but like all of us he needn't be here all the time.

I think all of that fits the description of "logistics advice" although anyone with sense would never take a single anonymous stranger's word for it.

Some people take what is said on forums far too much to heart. They let content upset them and negatively influence their lives. If they are that way inclined they are better off pursuing other interests.

[Gylden]

I've always been of the opinion that if you really need more than practical logistics advice then you shouldn't be looking abroad for a wife. And if you can't filter the opinions that you don't like or let them get to you then you should probably leave; you'll be happier for it.

100% agree
 

[Turboguy]

What about opinions/advice like (especially in PM) when someone says,  "XYZ is a great guide that lots of members here use. Here's his email, website and phone number.  Good luck on your trip"???

So, based on that advice you use them and they try to blatantly rip you off (and succeed until you put your foot down and the blow up threatening to throw you out of the car on the way to the airport)???

On return you comment about it in the forum and the original dude THEN informs you that he's never actually used the guide, was going to once but didn't end up making that trip.   

Oh, that story has a very familiar ring to it.  I am quite sure I know who the guilty party was that created such a disaster for Kuna.  For Ash's benefit I would like to give the other side of the story.  One of the persons on RWD that I know best, someone who I have visited several times and who has visited me several times, someone who attended my wedding had used Pavel and raved on and on about how wonderful his services were and was on his testimonial page.  I ended up spending 6 days in the hospital instead of making the trip on which I had planed to use him but in setting up the trip he was very thorough and professional and had prearranged my trip with lodging, local train tickets and a local flight that I could not do from here at the time.  I also had read several others that used him and raved about him.  I did feel that my recommendation was based on good information and that I was making a good suggestion.  It did turn out to be a disaster for Kuna and I am very sorry about that.  I would never have intentionally given bad advice.  I tell people not to use A-web even though I have never used them and sometimes good information does not have to be based on personal experience.  I have heard lots of comments about the service Kuna used before and after and other than Kuna's the comments have always been wonderful.  I read Kuna's TR at the time and I can agree with Kuna that his trip was a disaster and I am to blame for that and I do feel very bad about it.
 
No matter how we try to be careful in the advice we give some advice that is basically sound may not always work out.  I can only think of one piece of "advice" from RWD that I decided to follow and it too probably created a disaster for me costing me thousands of dollars and a lot of worry and work.  Still the advice was well intended and I made the decision to follow it so I only blame myself. 
 
Ash, there is a pretty good sized group of people here with a lot of good knowledge.  Some get pretty direct in how they give it, but most mean well and try their best to help someone.  I was in the searching mode for a long time before I found RWD and for me it was the best thing that ever happened to me.  It really changed my life and it is so much easier to learn from the mistakes of others and to see what works for others. 
 
Personally I think anyone who is in a serious search for an FSUW should participate in a forum and can learn a lot and save themselves some time, money and maybe avert a marriage disaster.  Sometimes you need to be a little thick skinned and sometimes you need to wade through some differing opinions but in the end your search will be easier.  If you do decide to leave I wish you the best and thank you for having participated here and sharing your ideas and questions.

[TomT]

... it's just funny why some members spend so much energy arguing on a internet fourm 

... because people in the real world don't listen to them.

[SMS60]

Good luck in life

Dont let the door knob poke you in the starfish on the way out

[BC]

That sounds kind of ominous, Greg.

Reality does set in after a few years.. After all its marriage folks.. Dont make a bit of difference where she is from.

[SteveOR]

AsH-

You’ve managed to start a good thread and with no flames (so far).   Congratulations. 

For Turboguy I want to say that while your advice to Kuna may not have worked out well, your past positive comments about Jack Bragg and having joined him on one of his trips directly influenced my decision to join Jack on his New Year’s trip.  It turned out to be a great trip that I very much enjoyed.  Based on most of the noise that you read on this forum from people who’ve never met Jack you’d think the guy has horns and a tail.  In fact Jack turns out to be a gregarious, friendly, knowledgeable guy who works hard for the people on his tours.  He’s also known for sharing his advice with anybody that calls or writes to him free of charge.  All things that you’ve shared on this forum many times.  Had you not shared your experiences about Jack I probably would not have ever contacted him.

Unfortunately for every good piece of advice or insight from Kuna, Turboguy, Greg and many others there is a lot of noise from people who’ve got too much time on their hands and/or are angry, drunk, depressed or as Tom says “. . .because people in the real world don’t listen them.”  I just use the old mouse wheel to move past posts from people that I know have these problems and it makes the forum experience much better.  Give it a try you might find that this works for you as well.  Good luck.

-Steve

[LAman]

Decisions, decisions.....
These forums are for information.....not to make a decison but to add info from what others have experienced. It is up to the individual to make up his mind on what is 'best' for him/her.
That way you can only blame yourself. I would never blame someone for bad advice for it was I who chose to use that advice...that is why you have to research as best you can to arrive at best decision for yourself.
As for squabbles.....what can you expect from a bunch of men/women with their own ideas...experiences....thinking.......you will never get everyone to agree on anything!!

[neo]

I generally say people do not come to forum's for advice, only to find people of the same mindset to validate the opinions they have already made and decided upon.


Ultimately you will succeed or fail on your own merits

[Turboguy]

Thanks Steve, I appreciate the comment and I am glad Jack's tour went well for you.  I do agree with you, Jack is a really good guy who will go to great lenghts to help someone even in a situation where he has nothing to gain.  He does have strong opinions that can rub someone the wrong way but he knows his stuff and is usually right.  I think it is often a case where the person is wanting to do something that Jack knows from long experience is a mistake but the person doesn't want to listen and gets upset.  Jack is a valuable asset for anyone.
 
I always took what people say on the forums more as opinions than advice.  I agree that someone should get as many opinions as possible and pick what seems right for them, and yes, many do just want encouragement that the path they are taking is right even if it isn't.

[tim 360]

Well ya know Ash it's really just an internet forum, it's not like you are resigning from the Marines or Congress.  It's a forum with a bunch of different people, mostly guys, with alotta different opinions and ideas of just how things should be and plenty of free advice to give.  Like anything else, some are much better than others and most of your real thinking--you have to do for yourself.  There are some really good people on here and you have to think as well as read.
 
I have to admit this is the most bitterly argumentative forums I've seen, but then again look at the subject matter?  Guys wanting to get married to women in the FSU and those who have already done that and have some sane words of advice.    
 
Lot of personalities.  Just take what you need and leave the rest.
 
And some just come here with a favorite rant and others just lookin' for a little validation and some...It is what it is--it can help you or...maybe not.  It's really all up to you. 
 
ps: I think I'm posting in another of those arguments. 

[AsH]

Another thing everything gets way off topic quick

[AsH]

But i realy appreciate all you guys with good advice dont get me wrong after all im still starting out,
older wiser words are always worth listening to,its hard to keep up with some threads so many replies im amazed!

[AsH]

Do your" other halfs" have a problem with you being on this fourm? I mean discussing your lives on the internet?
just asking

[Ade]

Do your" other halfs" have a problem with you being on this fourm? I mean discussing your lives on the internet?
just asking

My wife reads here sometimes but mostly I read to her when something interesting or particularly bizarre appears. For instance, I told her about Greg's post. 

[Gylden]

Do your" other halfs" have a problem with you being on this fourm? I mean discussing your lives on the internet?
just asking

You will find a vast array of answers I am sure. My wife got me interested in the forum to begin with.
¨
I am completely with you though, about getting practical information.
Also that if a guy has to come to a forum for relationship advice....well god help him!

[Kuna]

Oh, that story has a very familiar ring to it.  I am quite sure I know who the guilty party was that created such a disaster for Kuna.  For Ash's benefit I would like to give the other side of the story.  One of the persons on RWD that I know best, someone who I have visited several times and who has visited me several times, someone who attended my wedding had used Pavel and raved on and on about how wonderful his services were and was on his testimonial page.  I ended up spending 6 days in the hospital instead of making the trip on which I had planed to use him but in setting up the trip he was very thorough and professional and had prearranged my trip with lodging, local train tickets and a local flight that I could not do from here at the time.  I also had read several others that used him and raved about him.

Geez Turbo...  you needn't have outed yourself.  The advice was to Ash and I didn't even mention the famous guide or you...
 

I did feel that my recommendation was based on good information and that I was making a good suggestion. 

It's the same as people repeating the BS they hear from "reputable" sources about climate change.  If the source has an interest in the advice, you should always doubt it. 

It did turn out to be a disaster for Kuna and I am very sorry about that.  I would never have intentionally given bad advice.  I tell people not to use A-web even though I have never used them and sometimes good information does not have to be based on personal experience.

Ray, I hold no grudges towards you because I know you were trying to help.  This time it backfired badly... I just don't know why you still recommend the same guy.

Truth be known you HAVE actually looked at A-web and you realise (with a bit of experience under your belt) that it is just a scam site?  Therefore you have personal experience.  With this guide you don't... and you only hear positive things,  not the many other stories about his scams.

I have heard lots of comments about the service Kuna used before and after and other than Kuna's the comments have always been wonderful. 

Tsk Tsk Tsk... that's a lie Ray.  You know very well Jack has been warning people about the famous guide since he caught him exploiting his customers.  Others here too will speak out about the ways he scammed them yet I still see him being recommended in here.  That is unfair to newbies in here... no matter which way you look at it.

I read Kuna's TR at the time and I can agree with Kuna that his trip was a disaster and I am to blame for that and I do feel very bad about it.

I wouldn't call it a disaster... I met my (now) wife, and I detected the potential scam after he called me "My Friend" 10 times in the first hour.      Took me a little while longer to work out how the scam worked but I lost little compared to others I'm sure.

You're actually not to blame...  but it's illogical to still recommend the same guy after so many people have come out and spoken up about him and his tactics to rip men off.


Anyway,  the advice was to Ash...  stick around if you're continuing your search.  Choose the realists who you want to listen to...  try to ignore the dreamers, fantasists and woman-haters.

There are a lot of good men here who still participate because they would like to help others find what they have found.  You can find the same.

Of course it's a minefield... that's why RWD is so valuable.

[Turboguy]

Kuna,
When I was refering to your trip being a disaster I was talking more from a guide standpoint and do agree that the overall trip was very successful.  I do think that a lot of that success was well deserved.  You did a lot of research before your trip and asked some great questions and created some very interesting discussions.  You went with a good attitude and did more things right than most do. 
 
As far as Pavel goes, yours is still the only bad report I have heard of.  I did think that your trip might have been the exception to the rule and perhaps the fact that he was sick when you were there might have had an effect on his performance.   I have mentioned him a few times as one of the options for people.   The next few days are busy for me but later this week I will be sitting in Chicago with lots and lots of free time.  I will do some research on comments about Pavel and if I see that you are not the only one, which from what you say seems likely I will stop refering him I will make sure I don't ever recommend him again.  As much as I like Jack I do think sometimes his feelings about the comptetion are not totally unbiased so it would need to be someone else's experiences.  I will check that out Kuna.  Like anyone I can be mistaken in my recommendations but do try hard to give the best suggestions I can and don't want to be recommending someone who may not be a good choice.
 
I have never looked on A-webs site as a whole.  I have clicked a link on RWD to a page of their website in reference to a particular woman and I did meet the origional owner of A-Web when they were doing their first tour ever and I was staying at the same hotel. 

[GregfromGa]

Kuna, with all due respect and I know we had our pissing matches when you arrived here. I'm glad we got past that. You're a nice guy. I also recommended Pavel to people. He was pretty good to the ones that used him. I sent him $800 once by Western Union to reserve rooms in Yalta for us. I know he wasnt a thief of I would never have saw him after he got the money. Pavel would allow you to buy him lunch, he did throw around the term"My friend" rather loosely. That is strange being Ukrainian I think but I think it was in hopes of putting his client at ease. Now my wife on the other hand and one of the clients girlfriends never really got him. I know Pavel was able to save one guy some money because he was able to contact the girl rather than go through a certain agency in Kiev. Of course Pavel made a few bucks on every apartment he secured,taxi ride and the money he saved the couple with his discount card at certain cafes probably paid for most of the meal he was offered. If anyone wants to go back and look at any of my previous posts I have always maintained a guy going over should never have to have a translator. There will be more than his fair share of obstacles to overcome with out language being one of them.

Ade, as far as you saying that stuff about me not having a loving relationship with my wife the past 8 years, well hang around, you're still wet behind the ears in your marriage it seems and you might be able to make that assessment of mine later on down the line. How long have you been married if you dont mind me asking? Anyone that knows me and my situation here knows that's not the case but maybe from reading a few posts of mine you were able to figure it all out.

As far as the Philippine Islands comment is concerned, it was kind of a joke. Next time I might say Nepal. I hear those sherpa gals are friendly. One of the most absolute prettiest girls I ever was in the same room with was from the Philippines.. It was in the buffet line for lunch @ the Paris casino. Stunning is all I can say. The last thing I would ever ever want is a submissive wife in terms of how Asian women are perceived.

I might be end up like my parents and stay married for 50 years. I certainly have a long family history of staying married. I hope thats the case.

[GQBlues]

*Consider leaving the forum* ?
 
What's the point of considering, much less make a thread about it? If you don't like something about anything go out into the night. Why even make an announcement? Are you hoping for folks to talk you out of it?
 
I mean no offense but this is a bit childish, you know.
 
Besides.....even the people who actually 'announced' they'll stop posting and will never be back....they do. Takes a few days, maybe even a week or two, but they do.