???
I cant believe i read 20 some pages and there is no sign of Doug
posting how things are turning out ,
and the daily joys or struggles of the 90 pressure cooker most couples will endure (wether prepared or not)
I doubt he returns, but hope he does to finish thier tale.
Also I doubt anyone ,but a bored husband with his wife away visiting family ,
will read to this point,
but for what its worth ,
and for anyone thinking this process is quick or easy.
My wife and I both concede that had we taken the K1 route,
her feelings of : isolation, culture shock/ disappointments in America ,
homesickness and my own frustrations at her moodyness and therfor not being the person i knew,,
despite me trying to set everything up beforehand and make her transition as painless as possible.
we would have ended at day 90 with us both deciding the best thing for both partners would be her returning to Ukraine..
For us it was VERY different though!
as we were already married when she arrived (DCF)
had been married about a year, known each other a couple of years, and had a deep commitment and resolve to make things work between us.
Despite this, and despite good english and driving abilities, (allowing a much higher than average level of initial independence and freedom for her)
we still, as a couple , suffered much of the same things most K1 couples go thru during this transition period.It was rough, very rough initially..
(of course much more so on her part, and it was hard to watch someone you love go thru it)
There were some great times certainly, but just as certainly followed by tremendous lows..a vicious cycle.I think a bit more of a roller coaster than traditional newlywed shakeouts!!! LOL!
The bright side for us is the duration of this crucial time was short lived,perhaps 3 to 5 months, and strange as it may seem,
ultimately brought us closer together.
Hey ,the boat still rocks with an occassional sqwall , just to keep things interesting I suppose
but we couldnt be happier now,,
maybe it was because we already had a foundation and could be more aware of it simply being transition trama ,, or maybe we were just lucky...
I honestly dont know, or have any answers.
Why do I post this?
because Dougs experiences reminded me of our own initial few months,
and after knowing a lot of couples it rings close to home with most.
if you pursue this path you will quite likely go thru something
quite similar, and quite difficult on you both,more than you can imagine even with the best ofintentions.As prepared as you think you both can be, nothing is like living it, nor can prepare you (or her ) for it..
I am sure some couples sail right thru on sunshine, but it's best to be prepared to button the hatches for a decent time period
I dont want to sound too negative - because afterall - sailing to Hawaii is worth going thru an initial storm or two.
Doug ,here's hoping you and Larisa have some calm waters to make your decision during, and some smooth sailing afterwards!
