Bringing up kids....

[I/O]

(okay I can hear the jokes coming now)

The guilty run where none persue..............

Ranetka: As a friend (distant or otherwise) you (IMO) can only be just that, a friend. Any suggestions or proposals should be in question form rather than advice form, IE: Would it be worth doing such and such...........? In any event and most particularly, this day and age, raising children is a very tricky trail to traverse.

BC raised one very important aspect and that is to create a conduit of confidence. A child must not feel threatened to ask something, even something contentious and likewise should have been taught enough respect to accept refusal.

[Rubicon]

Good one, I/O.  What was your old saying--If you want something sweet, buy a donut??  Anyway, I think what you're saying to Ranetka is a good way to approach the subject, if she wishes to do so.

[Faux Pas]

I know about parenting only what I've learnt through having a step child for a few years and now a few months old baby. One protocol I've established for myself and it seems to work is 3"C's". Concern, Clarity and Consitency. I concern myself with childrens interests and desires together with what I think is good for them and I understand the two don't always concur. I try to be very clear with the guidelines and consistently don't waver (for the most part).

Trust me here, you don't know diddly squat.  I will give you kudos however, you do seem to be well on your way to learning that. I've raised 4 to adulthood and the only thing I gleaned is, you have to be very flexible in the approach to child rearing. Kids are different and while you can be consistent, you can't treat them the same because they're not the same. Build solid trust, give them lots of love, expectations and discipline. Some will not even respond to that but, they likely won't forget it either. Never forget the power of a good example.