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Author Topic: Communicating with more than one woman  (Read 4212 times)

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Offline 525i

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Communicating with more than one woman
« on: February 19, 2006, 06:35:23 AM »
I am currently communicating with two women. I hope they do not read this website. I have fluent and pleasant communication with both of them, on the phone I mean. At the moment it's pretty much even with them. I hope I will not say anything stupid while I talk with them. There is a possibility that I will make a mistake like saying the wrong name or talk about same issues twice with one of them. This is a problem. I hope I remember what I have talked with each of them.

When you just write e-mails, then you'll have time and you can read your past communication (her and your letters) to see what you have talked about. On the phone you do not have this possibility and you have no time. You'll just have to rely on your memory.

Have you ever made a mistake when you communicated with more than one woman at the same time?

Meeting with them is another problem. Currently I have no possibility to take a vacation from work ;-( We have kind of agreed to meet each other with the younger one after two months. She will visit her relatives in Russia and they live only 60 kms from my place! I have not talked about meetings with the older one, yet. Time will tell will I meet younger, older, both or neither. If I will meet both, then it's another story...

And, I have dropped one woman already. I talked with her few times.

Offline Bruno

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« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2006, 06:51:46 AM »
[user=266]525i[/user] wrote:
Quote
I am currently communicating with two women. I hope they do not read this website.

Who know ?

Recently, i have know that my actual girlfriend was already member from these forum since last year and that she have make herself a few post... Life is full of surprise...

In my case, it was not a problem since i communicate with only one woman...

About writing to several woman, specialy in the long term, it is not a easy job... you need a good memory, archive all your communication, etc...

I write to many in the early stage of communication but i try to narrow very fast to a very few choice... after this, the "natural selection" remove the incompatible women...

I visit only one but if it don't work, i use my time for have good holliday and maybe make some interesting local encounter...

About vacation, do you mean that you don't have any vacation from your work ? Or have you already used all your days from these year ? A minimum of free time is needed for all these procedure...

 

Offline 525i

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« Reply #2 on: February 19, 2006, 09:20:28 AM »
Quote from: Bruno
About vacation, do you mean that you don't have any vacation from your work ? Or have you already used all your days from these year ? A minimum of free time is needed for all these procedure... 

I do not have a possibility to have a vacation at the moment because I am involved in two projects that have a tight schedule. I do have a possibility to have a vacation from work, but not earlier than end of May. I'll have eight weeks this summer. I had a normal vacation (four weeks) last summer, but still I managed to save three weeks for later. The one week winter vacation I could not spend, because of the projects, so 3+1+4 = 8 weeks.

I will have quite a lot free time to spend with one woman. It also depends on her how much I can spend time with her.

Offline Bruno

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« Reply #3 on: February 19, 2006, 09:47:20 AM »
[user=266]525i[/user] wrote:
Quote
Quote from: Bruno
About vacation, do you mean that you don't have any vacation from your work ? Or have you already used all your days from these year ? A minimum of free time is needed for all these procedure... 
I do not have a possibility to have a vacation at the moment because I am involved in two projects that have a tight schedule. I do have a possibility to have a vacation from work, but not earlier than end of May. I'll have eight weeks this summer. I had a normal vacation (four weeks) last summer, but still I managed to save three weeks for later.

Where is the problem... i am in the same situation... a lot of work in the garden and only possible to visit in May and/or December... I have explain her my plan of visit for May and already book the plane ( cheaper when early )...

In your case, if you inform them about possible date, it will be good... you reply ( bold in the quote ) is very different that the original "Currently I have no possibility to take a vacation from work"... some little details like these can have a big importance in the building of relation...

Offline 525i

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« Reply #4 on: February 19, 2006, 01:06:45 PM »
I just talked over an hour with the older woman. After one hour she said about meeting her in her hometown. I explained my situation and her comment was that by then she will have a good tan and it's warm enough to be sexy. She said she wants to give a good first impression.

And the younger woman also knows my situation at work.

Offline bgreed

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« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2006, 02:11:44 PM »
You deffinately never know if someone you are writting is watching a forum where you post.  I found this out the hard way after posting a trip report and posting some questions about some sentences she used in letters that i could not get her to explain.  Even though I said nothing negative about her she was pi$$ed to the max and broke off our communication.  So if you think you like a particular girl better get her permission before you post anything good or not.

Offline Aleksia

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« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2006, 02:38:19 PM »
There is nothing wrong in writing to several women at the same time. Believe me, women are doing the same thing. At least before a first meeting or any commitments.

Offline 525i

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« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2006, 11:05:23 PM »
I agree that there is nothing wrong in writing with many women at the same time. I have done it in the past and I still do. This is different now, because I talk with both of them. And I like them and they seem to like me enough to meet me.

I will not tell any specific information about the women, so if they'll read this, they are safe. If they identify me from my posts, then it's an another thing.

I am against trip reports that are too specific. I prefer trip reports that do not reveal the real person. What if she would write a trip report and tells many things, your name, town and sends photos? How would you feel?

Aleksia, I like Norway. You have amazing nature. I have visited there three times and want to visit again many times. We also have great nature, but it's different.

Offline Aleksia

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« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2006, 04:32:27 AM »
thank you :D

Offline 525i

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« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2006, 12:15:30 PM »
Followup. A copy from another thread.

I communicated with one woman whose English was fair. Our phone conversations were tough for me, because she did not undersand what I said and she could say only simple things. I told her goodbye.

Then I had two women and both are fluent in English. The younger seemed to lost her interest in me, so it ended. The other one asked me to visit her during our second phone conversation. After few calls more and few weeks later, I booked a hotel and flight to meet her.

In a meanwhile I sent letters to other women and I started to get responses from more than one good ones. I told to one that I could come to meet her in April, and she replied that we could meet in March. I replied that it's too soon, and I suggested April again, if we want to meet after few weeks communication. I live quite close to her. By her letters her English is good, so I believe that we do not have communication problems. I hope she gives her phone number in her next letter.

I also received a response from one woman whose English might be around fair. I will know this soon. I just got her phone number. Her letters are short, but so far I have found interesting things in her. I believe that she is the best of four women I am communicating with, but I might be wrong. And the fourth woman probably does not understand English. I will see this later if this goes somewhere.

I do not know what would happen with others, if I would write my response to them. I also have favourites in one other service, but I have not written to them yet. Maybe I should, so I really could find more troubles.

I have been a "write with many" person. I have also been "write with one" and "communicate with one". This time I am for the first time "communicate with many". It's possible that by summer I have been "visit one" two or more times.


Offline 525i

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« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2006, 12:20:39 PM »
[user=266]525i[/user] wrote on 2006-03-18 19:27
Quote
I also received a response from one woman whose English might be around fair. I will know this soon. I just got her phone number. Her letters are short, but so far I have found interesting things in her. I believe that she is the best of four women I am communicating with, but I might be wrong.
I just ended a first phone conversation with this woman. We talked 1 hour 20 minutes! Her English is good. At one point she started to say Finnish words! She read them from a book that she had! It looks like she could learn Finnish "quite easily". Also, she is interested in Finland and she have high respect for Scandinavian men. After 50 minutes or so, she asked me to visit her in her town. I told her that I am not able to come before June because I am busy at work. I like her and she likes me. Great!

Before I go to meet her, I will go to meet another woman. Next, I will call this another woman. I am busy.

Offline 525i

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« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2006, 01:03:10 PM »
I am communicating with two women at the moment, by phone I mean.

Now I see interesting things. I notice differences. I see positive attitude. I see negative attitude.

Few days ago I called to the woman I am going to meet after at the end of April. When I asked does she like to sleep in tents, she replied no. It reminds her from her youth, when she lived in one flat with five families. When she travels, she would stay in four or five star hotels. Then she talked about poor local men who does not have enough money to eat in restaurants not to mention to taking woman for a dinner. She does not like cooking. Her mother does everything for her. When I asked can she make a bread (I saw one program in TV just before I called), she had a "fire talk" about her not having time, because of long days at work and she only wants to rest after work. Even if she had more time, she would not do it. I asked about her work and what she did last week. She said she does not want to talk about work.

Today I called for the second time to a new woman I recently found. This time the phone conversation lasted 1 hour 20 minutes, same as the first one. Actually, I had to end our talking. If I would not, I wonder how long we would have stayed on line. She thinks that sleeping in tent and in sleeping bag is romantic. She even would go fishing sometimes. She could make food from a fish that she have fished. I have not sensed negativity in her. When we talked about where we have travelled, and when I said that I have been in USA, she said that she does not like Americans and when I asked why, she said about few things. It was the only negative thing she has said. She was very happy when I called. She likes me. I like her. I think she is the best match with me than anyone else I have known. I finally feel that I have found her. Time will tell...

Has anyone had a situation where you have arranged a meeting and then you find out that she is not the one you have been looking for? What did you do?

Well, I do not know what to do. Should I go to meet her, or not? I am not asking suggestions. I am just talking out loud what I think. If I do not go meet her, I will lose some money and I do not see the woman nor the town. If I go see her, it is dishonest to the woman. My mind is already decided that she is not "the one". If I go, I am kind of using her. Maybe she will think I am a sex tourist, if it happens and later I say goodbye. Maybe I just could tell her what I feel and then if she wants to meet me as a friend, then I could go. I think this is the best way to go.

Tomorrow I am planning to call to a third woman. I just got her phone number. I am still looking for more trouble. Remember she would like to meet me. And quess what? She is the most popular girl in one service.

Offline Turboguy

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« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2006, 01:27:38 PM »
[user=266]525i[/user] wrote:
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I am communicating with two women at the moment, by phone I mean.

Now I see interesting things. I notice differences. I see positive attitude. I see negative attitude.

When she travels, she would stay in four or five star hotels. Then she talked about poor local men who does not have enough money to eat in restaurants not to mention to taking woman for a dinner.

 Frankly 525I, we are all looking for different things but If I were writing this gal, I would run as fast as my legs could carry me.  I am not sure if you saw my trip report about the dinner that cost me $ 550 and that night the whole date could have cost me almost a grand if my timing had been a bit difference.  

There are lots of guys who want a gal with class, taste, and sophistication, personally I like someone with good money sense.  The other gal sounds like  a good one.

You said"  Has anyone had a situation where you have arranged a meeting and then you find out that she is not the one you have been looking for? What did you do?

I have had it happen more times than not.  Just like here, not every gal you date will be the right one.   Try to not get trapped into something that is a time waster and hit an agency to help you.

Good luck

 

 

 

 

Offline Leslie

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« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2006, 02:46:15 PM »
 "Has anyone had a situation where you have arranged a meeting and then you find out that she is not the one you have been looking for? What did you do?"

Yep - I had around seventy (70) first meetings where I never saw the woman again.

If the woman was polite and reasonably behaved so was I.  I ended the meeting as soon as practicable (e.g. Lunch was just that)  If the woman was acting "sticky"  I would end the meeting by saying I had no interest in her and wish her the best of luck.  Normally there was no need to be so obvious.  FSU women are very intuitive. 

On several occasions I had women try to take advantage of me on a date.  I learned to be brutally direct in these cases.

Offline 525i

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« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2006, 11:14:59 PM »
TG, I saw your trip report and I wondered about the money you spent.

Earlier when we talked about apartment/hotel which to book, she gave me web addresses of few and they were at reasonable level. She wondered who will stay in hotels that cost 200 euros or more. I thought that she has good money sense.

I have not met her yet. I have talked on the phone with her many hours and I can now see that there will not be a relationship with her. I think that the next time I call her, I will tell her that I think that we are not a good match. I do not want to waste her time on me.

I use agencies only to find women. Once I write to her and she replies, the next thing is to detach from agency and move to e-mail and phone. I organised the meeting on my own. I booked the hotel and flight by myself. Flight costs 55 euros and the hotel almost 240 euros (four nights).

I think I still go to her town. I will see her, if she wants to, as a friend. One woman, who lives close to that town, wrote to me. I think I reply to her and say I am visiting in their capital. If she has time, we could meet, but only as friends. I do not want to give false hope.

Yes, the other woman is a good one. I see many things in her that I like. I sense a good chemistry between us. I can see that there is a connection in chemistry between phone conversation and in actual meeting. And she seems to be really interested in me.

As many say, it's a numbers game. I have written to many. Few times I have thought that I have found her, based on her profile, but no response :-(  My subscription was ending in the service I used, and about week due to the end date, I wrote letters to women I liked. I wrote letters to women who seemed by their photos to be family types, career types, partygoers etc.

A photo and face can lie quite a lot. The woman I am going to dump, looks to be warm and nice. I think she is, but I did not see the things I do not wish my wife to have. The woman who seems to be a good match with me looked in the photo very different than she really is. She is very beautiful and you would expect this woman to go nightclubs very often, but she does not. She is a sports fan, as I am. She surprised me by her knowledge of Finnish sportsmen. A woman who looks like a model, enjoys nature. As she said about herself, she is "natural character".

My advice is that write to all types of women. Even to the prettiest ones. Depending on what type of a woman you are looking for, you will never know. She might be the one for you and you for her.

Offline Turboguy

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« Reply #15 on: March 22, 2006, 09:05:32 AM »
[user=266]525i[/user] wrote:
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TG, I saw your trip report and I wondered about the money you spent.


I am asuming you are talking about my two dates with Elena from Moscow and the first dinner which was $200 with her complaining that I wanted the new wine for $ 40.00 rather then the old one for $ 400.00 a bottle, and the following night when the dinner check was $ 550 with the cheap wine and the date could easily have cost me near $ 1000.00 

I was not all that happy with spending that money myself.  The money itself was not that big a deal other than being a waste but it is not the type of woman I would want to take to dinner every day.  

I see guys who are not happy unless they have the nicest hotel and the best restaurant in town.  I am happy with a clean, comfortable nice place and good food but I can do without the service such as at the $ 550 dinner place when I asked where the Men's room was the waiter walked  me to the door and then waited and walked me back to the table.  Truthfully, I would have been happier to have a smaller check and to have had to walk alone.  When I have stayed in Kiev my apartments have ranged from $ 50-75.  My hotels $ 100.  In moscow usually not much more.  I would rather fly coach for half the price of first class or less and stay at a nice clean place rather than a 5 star and be able to afford two trips. 

The one recomendation I would have is to not make too many final judgements before you meet.   I have met gals that I was sure were going to be the right one and found nothing but a big disappointment.   Either they were out for money, or had bad tempers or wanted to start drinking Vodka in the middle of the morning or no chemistry or just very different than I expected.   I have also met women just because I was going to be in their town and even though I was not excited about them decided to meet anyway and they were sometimes very nice girls that were sincere and probably among the better choices.  Fortunately some times you meet exactly the person you expect to.  I expect this to be the case when I am back in Moscow 10 days from now.   The more you know somone the more chance you have of that.  

There was the old calipso song from the 60's that went "To be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife"

I don't think we need to go that far but I think we all need to look beyond a hot photo to the person behind it.   You can have a very pretty and HOT girl who writes letters that seem fairly nice and it does not mean that you two will be soulmates.

You will often find the person in the letters is not the same as the person you meet.  Meet enough and you will find the right one but she may not be the one you pick from your letters.   Just keep going and someday you will find one you really click with.   Don't settle for less and don't settle for a hot body and pretty face.  That is not the secret of happiness.

Offline viking

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« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2006, 05:43:30 PM »
Sometimes it is not just the letters. I have found that when I ask a woman for a 'regular' photo, doing normal every day stuff (sometimes a family photo with children or parents) she does not look at all like her original photo. Some of those pictures are years old, they don't look like that anymore, and some have used more than their share of make up to look their best. I met a nice woman in Moscow that I almost did not recognize without her make up. We still went to dinner and had a nice time, but she was not at all what I was expecting. I have no objection with any woman wanting to look her best, but sometimes there can be a BIG difference. Take a look at some movie stars in 'before and after' photos. Amazing.
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline 525i

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« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2006, 09:51:05 PM »
viking, this same happened to me when I visited in Moscow to meet a foreign woman for the first time. I waited for her and looked around, but I did not see her. Suddenly some unknown woman to me aproached me smile on her face and hugged.

TG, recently I have changed how I communicate with FSU women. Now I use e-mail very little. When I find a woman I am interested in, I ask her phone number and usually she give it to me. I will call her about twice in a week. By phone I will see her nature and our verbal chemistry. Instant feedback to questions etc. Many women I have communicated with, do not write much. Their letters are short, but on the phone they are (or can be) very sociable. As few have said, they do not like writing letters. After we start talking on the phone, our letter writing is very seldom. I like it this way.

In letters and in phone women can be different. The person I feel from phone is very close to the person I have met.

My advise is to communicate on the phone a lot.

About appearance. The one I am going to dump for her incompatibility with me is OK looking. The woman who I have talked twice now total of 2 hours 40 minutes, is in my eyes very good looking (face). I have not seen her figure (numbers say she's great). I will see her photo(s) soon. I asked on the phone and she told me that her girlfriend has her scanner at the moment. She has a scanner. I do not have a scanner. The other woman (see below), is also a very good looking with a great figure. When I talk with them, I do not think how beautiful they are. I am more interested to know this woman and to see would we fit together. The more we find similar interests and things to talk about, the better.

Tatyana was a very pretty woman, but we did hot have enough chemistry. We actually are very similar persons in many way. It's not a pretty face with a great figure I am looking for, it's a pretty face with a great figure who is compatible with me what I am looking for.

TG, I have read in this site how some men felt Russia/Ukraine and their trains, etc. Some of it has been quite negative. It says a lot about men who feel/act this way. I think the women will see it too and maybe they do not like what they see in these men. If they does not realise it now, they will see their nature later.

I went there and did not complain. It's their countly. They live in there. They have got used to it, because it's normal for them.

TG, yes, there are different type of men and women. Some are like what you told. OK, maybe they have money for it. I am not a poor guy, so I could affort expensive hotels and restaurants sometimes. I want to use my money more wisely. The hotel I booked cost 59 euros per night. It's OK for me. In Sofia I was in hotel which cost 35 euros. In Finland and in Norway I stayed, with my ex, few nights in a hotel of 85 euros (one night in each).

Now I made my personal record. Yesterday I called to one woman and during the short phone call (maybe 5 minutes, she had her friend with her and it was the reason for short call), she asked when I will visit her. I asked why you ask so soon, she said "I want to meet you." I explained that first I want to talk with her to know her better and for us to see do we want to meet. She agreed. Her English is fluent and without an accent.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2006, 09:51:00 PM by 525i »

Offline Turboguy

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« Reply #18 on: March 23, 2006, 06:33:18 AM »
That was in interesting post 525i, and I see your point.   As far as phone calls, for me it has been the opposite.   Part of that may be because you are in Finland, and I am in America.   When I have made phone calls the connecton is never very good.  I enjoy the conversations, particularly the last person I have talked to but it is hard to learn much.  We have a tv commercial here where the man is intenly watching tv and his wife comes into the room and asks if the dress she has on makes her behind look big.   With his mind intent on the tv, he says "Yes, Dear"  I can think back to my last phone conversation and there was a sentance I could not hear, and fortunately asked her to repeat, or it might have had the same result.

You asked if I had ever made a mistake when I was communicating with more than one woman at a time.   I am assuming you mean like calling Svetlana, Tatyana or the like?   Yes, I have done that and I have had it happen to me in letters I have received.  I have had letters with the greeting to somone else, or with the greeting to me and in the letter I was called by a different name.   Usually I have used a standard letter for my first and written individual letters after that.  I had it happen one time this year and I am not sure how.   Now I am only writing one girl and actually I thought I had done something like that just about the time I stopped writing anyone else but had not.  

Like viking, I have met a few gals that you would never recognize in a million years.  Everyone looks different in real life.  Sometimes it is old photos.   The ones who looked a lot different were old photos when they have put on 25 or 50 pounds since thier photos.  Sometimes too a person has a presence in real life that adds to their natural beauty.  I have also seen people who were photogenic but not pretty or pretty but not photogenic.  Most have looked a lot like their photos.

I have never found women from the FSU to have traits I did not care for.  I have found individual people who had traits that were different than me or traits I don't care for.   For example, I am not attracted to people who think they are better than anyone else.   Mostly I like people and can enjoy being with most anyone. 

I find a lot of the different traits amusing.   For example the gal I met in Kiev a few years ago that I called "Miss Modesty".  Typically if you gave her a compliment this is about what you hear.   I said to Miss Modesty, "You have really pretty eyes"  Her answer was "Yes, I do, I have pretty eyes, I also have a beautiful smile, a great complection, beautiful hair and a wonderful personality.  Everyone tells me this so it must be true."  I smiled and agreed with her and was entertained by her attitude, but I thought to myself, Did they also tell you that you are getting rather large through the behind.   I enjoyed the evening but after dinner we went our separate ways.  I had a memorable evening and was content to let our freindship end with one evening.

As far as liking a country, I too like to go to Russia and Urkaine or anywhere but would not like to live there.   The thing I like most is the people.  There are many things I don't like such as the weather. 

Offline Tim7

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« Reply #19 on: April 11, 2006, 05:25:13 PM »
[user=266]525i[/user] wrote:
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I am currently communicating with two women. I hope they do not read this website.

 

Kid, what makes you think that they are writing only to one man(YOU)???

How do you know they dont have boyfriend(s)?

Regards

Timmy

 

Online 2tallbill

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« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2021, 12:19:21 PM »
"Has anyone had a situation where you have arranged a meeting and then you find out that she is not the one you have been looking for? What did you do?"

Yep - I had around seventy (70) first meetings where I never saw the woman again.

If the woman was polite and reasonably behaved so was I.  I ended the meeting as soon as practicable (e.g. Lunch was just that)  If the woman was acting "sticky"  I would end the meeting by saying I had no interest in her and wish her the best of luck.  Normally there was no need to be so obvious.  FSU women are very intuitive. 

On several occasions I had women try to take advantage of me on a date.  I learned to be brutally direct in these cases.

Leslie opted out, he was a source of wisdom here at the forum. He wrote the
RWD Ten Commandments among other things.

I think that there is a lot of food for thought in this thread.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline ML

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Re: Communicating with more than one woman
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2021, 03:43:15 PM »
Communicate with as many gals as you can handle.
The women are doing the same.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

 

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