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Author Topic: The stigma of a Mail Order Bride  (Read 53070 times)

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Offline KenC

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« on: February 19, 2006, 08:50:57 PM »
Don't you just get sick and tired of the term "mail order bride?"  I find that being married to a RW comes with the slanted and unfavorable attitude toward all RW in America that is tied to the roots of MOB's.  Over the years I have witnessed TV shows with plots or subplots showing desperate and usually trampy RW labeled as MOB's.  The depiction of the AM that married MOB's is no better either.  And the story line seems to be coming even more prevelant recently.  I have seen it on CSI, Law & Order as well as My Name is Earl.  And it has never been shown in a favorable light ever.  Of course the faux "news" shows such as 20/20 and Primetime have also "helped" create a negative image of RW through their sensationalizing of MOB scandles in the past.  A memory of some Ukrainian woman killing her dolt American husband with the aid of her Ukrainian boyfriend comes to mind.

It is no wonder that the typical (uninformed) American has a negative view of RW in general.  I know myself that I have been asked some uncomfortable questions regarding my marriage to my wife and that she has been boldly asked if she was a MOB by complete strangers.  Of course her reply was classic, "No, I am not a mail order bride.  Why do you ask?  Were you"?

Comments?

KenC
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Offline GregfromGa

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2006, 05:47:57 AM »
I have lit some peoples ass up about that term. No one has asked my wife directly but she knows how to handle it when they do. About 100% of the guys I run into are jealous and about 99% of the women are full of envy for different reasons in my situation. I guess we will always have people that are very uninformed about how this process works. God only knows how they talk behind our backs.
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Offline catzenmouse

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2006, 06:02:33 AM »
I just tell them "No, the shipping costs are prohibitive." and walk  away. I agree with Greg, there is a ton of jealousy amongst other men  and women.

Ken
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Offline Son of Clyde

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2006, 07:11:08 AM »
We should coin a new term emob (Email Order Bride).

You could say my wife was a MOB however she never posted her profile, a friend posted it for her. She was very surprised when the letters started arriving.

The term MOB sounds like a guy's last resort to meeting a woman. I, like many others were in a position of meeting lots of women but in my case most were much younger and not interested. When I started swing dancing, young women were everywhere and since I stuck with it for 12 years I got better and had no problem finding a partner. Unfortunately, that was the extent of it , dance partner only.

It seems that in the US the women are more into looks, financial status, appearance and other things. RW are too but maybe not so much to discount men because they are less than perfect. Me being a t-shirt and jeans guy with a good but not great job, it was not easy finding an AW. Plus, as I mentioned in another thread, many AW want to have children and return to their career's ASAP. They place a career first and a child second.

My wife accepted me for who I am. I'm sure she was looking for financial stability to a certain extend but it was me she seemed to be interested in. I know she received many letters but mine were translated to Russian and apparently most of the other letters she received were not translated. This made a lasting impression. So maybe it should be written in the tablets of stone to have all your letters translated before you send them.

When I was young I heard the term MOB and it did not sound very nice so I know over the years the term MOB referred to losers who can't find a wife in their own country. Men seek foreign wives for many reasons. Not all are lonely or losers or sadistic people willing to lock their wives up and make them slaves.

 
« Last Edit: February 20, 2006, 07:16:00 AM by Son of Clyde »
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Offline Daknack

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2006, 09:50:35 AM »
I already have it planned out what I am going to tell people:"No, I was a mail order husband.  I cost her family 12 sheep, a cow, 4 ducks, an a flock of chickens.  I was a very expensive investment for her family, but let's face it, Im worth it!"Best way to both disarm and win people over is good humor.
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Offline KenC

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2006, 09:53:28 AM »
Good one, Daknack!

KenC
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Offline Albert

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2006, 09:56:50 AM »
SOC wrote:  "to a certain extend"

What the h&ll is that?
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Offline BC

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #7 on: February 20, 2006, 10:05:07 AM »
[size="3"]"Is she MOB??"

"No.. DHL."[/size]

[size="1"]Dang Hot Lover!~[/size]
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Offline KenC

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2006, 10:07:33 AM »
Clyde,

You need not justify your actions here.  I am speaking about the over all negative stigma that the lable of "MOB" has on our wives once they are here.  It really doesn't matter if your wife was listed with an agency or not, the stigma seems to be attached to all eastern European wives.  This is partially due to the typical portrayal of MOB's in the movies and TV shows.

KenC

(Albert, come on now.  I hope you never make an error in grammar or spelling.)
« Last Edit: February 20, 2006, 10:14:00 AM by KenC »
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Offline Albert

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2006, 10:10:37 AM »
KenC, we are always going to see things like MOB segments on 20/20 and such.

Those shows are set up to sensationalize something.  It wouldn't be of much interest to show couples meeting at a local university and getting married at local church.  Viewers would say:  So what?

TV, newspapers, etc., are geared to reporting on unusual things.  I think the clever comebacks, and even making up wild stories about the gal being an ex KGB agent who tried to extract info from you, are the way to go when people ask.

Once I spent time with a FSU gal in Antalya, Turkey who was an MD neurologist.  I arrived a day before her.  The first evening I was talking with a couple from USA at a Pansiyon (our bed and breakfast).  When I was telling them about this gal, the woman was very interested and supportive, but the husband just rolled his eyes.  So I went for it . . . . and told them that I was somewhat worried that the FSU gal was really a KGB agent, that she would probably use her MD skills to inject me with something, maybe even torture my nerves (re the Marathon Man), etc.  By the end of our conversation, this couple was really worried and suggested I not meet the gal, or that I contact the police, American consulate, etc.  I got a big laugh out of it.
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Offline BC

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2006, 10:12:16 AM »
Gammar??  LOL

Actually the only person who asked me this is my mother.

Have never been asked by anyone in Europe.
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Offline Albert

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2006, 10:13:32 AM »
KenC, I didn't cast the first stone.  On 1 Jan 06 SOC posted:

"Albert is a superficial guy who can't spell."

Tit for tat.

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Offline Cold Warrior

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2006, 11:16:59 AM »
Millions of people in the US and Europe are now into internet dating. It is only a matter of time before the stigma goes as Internet dating for a overseas wife is seen as an extension to a search within your own country. I think in a few years time we guys will be seen as pioneers.:D ( KenC as the first pioneer aboard the Mayflower):D
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Offline KenC

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2006, 11:45:45 AM »
Easy there, Cold Warrior,

Your point of Internet dating is correct in a way though.  My kids were eased into my meeting a RW through my previous experience with dating AW that I "met" on line.  At first they thought that was weird, but came to accept it as my "norm."  When I laid it on them that I was going to Russia to meet a woman, it wasn't out of the "norm" for me, just a little longer plane ride.  But I also know that Internet dating is largly unacceptable to the general American public right now, so meeting RW is still waaay out there for most.

KenC
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Offline Vaughn

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #14 on: February 20, 2006, 02:24:27 PM »
I've told people, "Yeah, be careful on those sites - look what happened to me: one misclick on 'Add to Shopping Cart' and my life was radically changed."
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Offline Albert

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #15 on: February 20, 2006, 02:29:54 PM »
On a recent episode of 'Without a Trace' there was a missing Oriental gal who had been doing a lot of internet dating.  One of the FBI gals said she wouldn't be doing that . . . meeting first on web.  Another FBI gal or guy said something like, "I guess that is why you aren't going on many dates."  So the show seemed to be trying to make it seem 'not so strange anymore,' although that wasn't the main thrust of the show, of course.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2006, 02:31:00 PM by albert »
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Offline al-c

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #16 on: February 20, 2006, 03:31:03 PM »
Are AM who seek RW desperate men who "settle" for a RW?  No!  They are selective men who won't settle for an AW.  They want the best and know what part of the world has it.

I find, at least among my friends, that education goes a long way towards busting the MOB myth.  And as for the clods who can't understand any words containing more than one syllable, once they meet your RW and their tounges are hanging down to the floor and they are drooling all over themselves, they will be asking you for the web site of the agency you used.

As for the AW who are jealous of the RW, all I can say is that they did it to themselves.  They use their looks to zero in on the bad guys with the fat wallets, and they get exactly what they bargained for.

 
« Last Edit: February 20, 2006, 03:38:00 PM by al-c »
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Offline Son of Clyde

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #17 on: February 20, 2006, 05:02:34 PM »
:clapping: Albert you got me. I usually reread my posts but I apparently missed that one.
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Offline Son of Clyde

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #18 on: February 20, 2006, 05:05:29 PM »
A man at work brought over an asian woman MOB about 25 - 30 years ago. They are still together. I wonder if his family thinks the marriage will work.
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Offline catzenmouse

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #19 on: February 21, 2006, 06:15:13 AM »
Quote from: Vaughn
I've told people, "Yeah, be careful on those sites - look what happened to me: one misclick on 'Add to Shopping Cart' and my life was radically changed."

I hate it when that happens! Vaughn, that's what you get for not paying attention. I hope you got everything you deserved too!!! :D:D:D

Ken
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Offline Bruce

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #20 on: February 21, 2006, 08:29:11 AM »
Just tell them that you picked her out of a catalog and she arrived at your doorstep dressed in a wedding gown after you opened up the big pink box with the beautiful red ribbon on it :D.

I hear the "you did not marry a MOB," on occassion, usually from female "colleagues" at conferences etc.  I usually tell them in all seriousness that there is no mail order bride and that I met her on business etc.  Its alot easier to deal with......................
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Offline Daknack

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #21 on: February 21, 2006, 12:46:03 PM »
Other good tactic is the reversal. 

"Yes she was a MOB, but I thought it was better then meeting a woman at a bar or on the street like she was some kind of common prostitute looking for business or a woman thats slept with every guy at the disco,  By the way... didnt you meet your husband at Acme bar, or was it at Smiths Disco?"

First it really makes them made, then about 70% of them realize they were asses in jumping to conclusions.  The 30% that dont realize it are going to remain angry and not talk to you anymore, but they are assholes so that works out in the end.
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Offline catzenmouse

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #22 on: February 21, 2006, 12:53:15 PM »
A while ago on another list there was some talk about getting t-shirts made up. Here are the suggestions for the verbiage on the shirts. Wear some of these around and see the $hit hit the fan with AW! :D

POLL QUESTION: My Favorite T-Shirt Slogans Are (please pick no more than three):

ANSWERS:
- Love? Back to the USSR!

- Refugee from the Femi-Nazi Wars

- Soulmates (in Russian & English)

- Ukraine Girls Really Knock Me Out

- Moscow Girls Make Me Sing and Shout

- Come and Keep Your Comrade Warm!!!

- I went to Russia and All I got was this Great Wife!

- 5% Club

- I went to Russia and all I got was this Dyevooshka!

- Front: EAT OUT; Back: AT THE HUNGRY DUCK!

- Front: Sibe Fur! ; Back: Keeps you warmer at night!

- Huskys get all the B!tches!

- Do it Sobaka Style!

- Koshka, the other white meat

- My kid was an Honor Student at Mari El Junior High!

- I am with him because he deserves the "samoye lucheye!"

- AW? NEVER AGAIN!

- Front: Heaven: is a Russian Wife, and American Salary, Chinese Food and an
English House. Back: Hell: is an American Wife, a Russian Salary, English Food
and a Chinese House.

- You wanna know why I went to Russia? Look in the mirror!

- What's the difference between an AW and a RW - about 90 LBS

- I traded in my AW for a RW since foreign countries make a better product!

- So much mayonnaise.  So little time!

- Never ONCE Been on a Diet - Ask Me How I Did It!

- I Love my FSU Wife!

- I Love my Russian Wife!

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Offline Daknack

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #23 on: February 21, 2006, 01:06:26 PM »
Quote from: catzenmouse
A while ago on another list there was some talk about getting t-shirts made up. Here are the suggestions for the verbiage on the shirts. Wear some of these around and see the $hit hit the fan with AW! :D

POLL QUESTION: My Favorite T-Shirt Slogans Are (please pick no more than three):

ANSWERS:
- Love? Back to the USSR!

- Refugee from the Femi-Nazi Wars

- Soulmates (in Russian & English)

- Ukraine Girls Really Knock Me Out

- Moscow Girls Make Me Sing and Shout

- Come and Keep Your Comrade Warm!!!

- I went to Russia and All I got was this Great Wife!

- 5% Club

- I went to Russia and all I got was this Dyevooshka!

- Front: EAT OUT; Back: AT THE HUNGRY DUCK!

- Front: Sibe Fur! ; Back: Keeps you warmer at night!

- Huskys get all the B!tches!

- Do it Sobaka Style!

- Koshka, the other white meat

- My kid was an Honor Student at Mari El Junior High!

- I am with him because he deserves the "samoye lucheye!"

- AW? NEVER AGAIN!

- Front: Heaven: is a Russian Wife, and American Salary, Chinese Food and an
English House. Back: Hell: is an American Wife, a Russian Salary, English Food
and a Chinese House.

- You wanna know why I went to Russia? Look in the mirror!

- What's the difference between an AW and a RW - about 90 LBS

- I traded in my AW for a RW since foreign countries make a better product!

- So much mayonnaise.  So little time!

- Never ONCE Been on a Diet - Ask Me How I Did It!

- I Love my FSU Wife!

- I Love my Russian Wife!


 

A different take on the difference between AW and RW:

I lost 75lbs! on the back it says "I divorced my AW who was 200lbs married RW whos 125lbs!

Russian food is way worse then even English food btw.

Id buy a few of those shirts.  My vote:

- I traded in my AW for a RW since foreign countries make a better product!
best one liner of the bunch.
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Offline Ste

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The stigma of a Mail Order Bride
« Reply #24 on: February 21, 2006, 05:08:57 PM »
Here we have tee-shirts with:

"Russian Spy, Please Ignore Me"

on them, Nadia won't wear one tho.

Mind you, imagine walking through Red square with "British Ace Spy, please ignore me" in Russian on ur footbalka...

Ste

PS, coudn't resist the 'Ace'!
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