A piece of good advice, anybody?

[Sophocles]

I have been corresponding with a lady at AnastasiaDate for about 4 months. We write each other on normal e-mail since early September, and have talked on the phone too, a few times. Unfortutately, her cell phone went bad about 3 weeks ago and still doesn't work.

Her pictures and her profile shows up on a handful of other sites as well, but seem to be "inactivated" on all the other sites by now. On one of the sites we are told she got engaged in May this year. By the way, she wrote me two days after her engagement.

I have asked for her postal address two or three times, and she has promised to give it to me, but this far she has apparently forgot about the matter.

Since we started communicating on normal e-mail, she often disregards my questions. Some of her mails contain material that has been copied from the internet. But she is so lovely in her mails and in our long chats. And she is so calm and nice when we talk on the phone. Simply a wonderful woman!

Since August, we have been discussing meeting in Kiev in October. When she finally got her vacation in mid-September, it was not possible to agree upon a date for our meeting, since her relatives from Siberia could show up at any weekend and she just had to spend time with them. (She is 33 years old.) I don't know if the relatives ever showed up; I don't think they did.

Suddenly, a few days ago, she lets me know we can meet next week in Kiev. But the problem is she cannot right now afford traveling to Kiev from her home town more than 500 kilometers away. She wants to take a taxi and very very reluctantly asks if I am prepared to pay for her trip to Kiev. I answer her politely, saying that I could pay for her journey by train or even by aeroplane, but not for the taxi ride. She writes me back and claims I have misunderstood her: she wanted to go by train, after all. She seems upset and asks me if I really think she is a "gold digger". She says she wants to meet me so much and as soon as possible.

She wants to be "the One" for me, she says. And she tells me about her dreams about us to being together. She is my "Ukrainian girl".

Today she updated her profile on Anastasia and added more than ten new pictures, showing her beautiful legs lets say to a greater extent than ever before. The pictures were taken in early September; I know that for sure.

Comments, anybody? Should I go to see her in Kiev next week?

[ECOCKS]

Welcome to RWD!

Flags:

1. AnastasiaDate

2. Engagement Announcement

3. "Disregarding" your communications

4. Cell phone "went bad" for 3 weeks

5. Money for a taxi instead of train or mashrutka

6. Still fishing with her profile despite what she says to you

Advice:

1. Send her your info (which you did) and tell her you expect regular contact and answered questions if she is really interested in seeing about a relationship.

2. Tell her you're coming to Kyiv and will take the train to visit her in her hometown so you can learn how she and her people live,

3. Prepare a backup plan.

4. Push for when her phone will be "fixed".

5. Read the Am I Being Scammed...

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14000.msg279356#msg279356

and Indian Guy looking for a Russian Dating Site threads.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14006.msg279359#msg279359

Best of Luck!

[Muzh]

Troll

[Mila]

Hi there,
I am actually very surprised that you are so naive, don't you see that she is a scam? It is so evident. What ECOCKS mentioned is true. My advice-forget about her for ever!!!

[Sophocles]

Thank you all! I am not naïve, dear Mila, I am just describing the "facts" as the lady in question wants me to understand them. I just want to know your opinion on this: Is there any chance at all that she might be interested in me for real? I am 17 years her senior, very fit (people usually think I am 10-15 years younger than I really am), I have a PhD and a tenure at a university. Describing the situation as I have done, I have at the same time indicated my reasons for thinking something is wrong. Should I trust my "gut feeling" or should I still check if she is serious, as she says?

[Olly]

If she SOOOO interesting with u why she "added more than ten new pictures, showing her beautiful legs"???

[ECOCKS]

Quit with the "I look 10-15 years younger crap", you're making yourself into a joke.

Go with your "gut".

Read the Commandments.

Scams are scams, if it's too good to be true, it probably is.

Don't be a chump and believe the fantasy pictures painted by your insecurities and the agency industry,

[ML]

http://www.luckylovers.net/
http://www.rbrides.com/
http://www.ukrainedate.com/
http://www.allsinglerussiangirls.com/
http://freepersonals.ru/
http://singles.ru/
http://bride.ru/

Go to the above free and monthly cost ($19-30) websites.  Make up a nice profile of yourself.  Use the search engines to find about 800 - 1,000 women who are in the age range you want and have other education, etc., parameters that you desire and are in a single target geographical area.

Send a generic but well written introductory message to all.

Of those  who reply, filter out all who make you worry in any way or give you concerns.

Send second generic but well written letter to all.  Modify it a bit to answer any questions that an individual woman may have asked.  Yes, this takes a lot of time.

Repeat these procedures over about 6-8 emails and you will have narrowed down your list to 15-30 gals.  You can continue to use a generic letter for each successive mailing, but be sure to modifiy it a bit to answer specific questions any gal may have asked and to ask specific questions of your own related to the family, interests, jobs, etc., of each individual woman.  Yes, this takes a lot of time, but each week you will be cutting your list down.  With your PhD, you  know a lot about research, planning to attain goals, etc., so this will not be such a large problem for you.

Plan your trip and start scheduling the women into time slots.

If you follow the above procedure, you will no longer have the need to ask us questions about scammers, etc., as you will have filtered out all scammers.  And if any of the women you are writing to give you any sheeeeet or cause you any concern at all, you simply drop them off your lists and continue on.

[Hammer2722]

Your very first indication that she is a scammer was meeting her on Anastasiadate. I have used this site before and believe me when I tell you that the site is 98% pure scam. Most of the girls there are either professional daters who will meet you and clean you out financially while another majority are hired girls used to draw in dupes with the sexy photos.   
 
Dude, you may want to re-read everything you've posted in your first post. If what you wrote doesn't convince you this girl is a pro-dater, then I'm pretty sure nothing else will because will you will want to believe that this girl is the REAL DEAL. 
 
Stop writing to this and do some self-education on this site before proceeding any further into this venture. Good luck!!!!

[Mila]

    Dear Sophocles, judging from what you wrote, I am sure that she is a scam, I am sure for 100%. Why?

• to begin with, you correspond with an agency translator
• a girl who is serious would share her postal address (though they often give a fake one...), in your case they just forgot about it, as it is not important to them
• a genuine lady will never disregard your questions and will never copy and paste an answer to your letter
• I am also doubt that she talked to you on the phone, though if you saw her, then I can believe, otherwise not
• I am also doubt that she talked to you through chat, as ladies usually don't deal with that as well
• a serious lady won't plan your arrival like that, as it is a serious step and you both should plan it in advance, but not like in your case:"let's meet in Kiev next week", it sounds weird to me, maybe she went to Kiev before your future arrival and spent time with a different foreigner and decided why not, I can meet that one as well.
• a genuine girl will never ask for a taxi, as it is rather a long trip. She just picked the most expensive way to get there, though, she could take a train, spending her money, as it is not that expensive and then you could return her money back, when you meet in person, of course
• all these words:"I want to be the one....." I don't believe, she says whatever you want to hear
• she updated her profile not for you, to attract more foreigners and to make money from them, as the better the photos, the more money she will make!

In your case, it doesn't matter how you look and how educated you are and what are your inner qualities. Trust me, it is not important for her. I think she is not interested at all and if I were you, I would never deal with her any more! There are many nice and genuine ladies over here, I see no sense wasting your time and money on scam!

[GoodOlBoy]

Next time you speak to Boris "her", say a big hey from GOB! 
 
GOB
 
PS... to RWD Sophocles.

FWIW..... http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=34

[Daveman]

Troll

Well now, that may very well be the case here...    and it's also possible that the scenario is real taken at face value...

Please indulge me for a moment...  and this is not directed at Muzh ... for every "troll playing a role", there are scores of "guests" and/or non posting members who follow the threads yet do no participate.  IMO, many members/guests do not deign to participate here because we have a "baptism by fire" tendency if anything within the post falls outside the "RWD Newbie Cookie Cutter Acceptable Posting Template"

So, my point being that  rather than being encouraged to participate,  the recent vibe of the forum toward newbies in general would stifle their desire to become part of this community.

I think those of us with any experience in this tend to forget how much we really didn't know at one time in the (not so) distant past about agency hype, scams, pay per letter sites, etc etc...  yeah, once the veil of delusion dissipates everything becomes quite obvious from the retrospective, yet...  how often do we see those scratching and clawing to keep the delusion intact?  I think it's more normal than not. 

Anyway, let's give the new guys a little slack... even if some of them are trolls, the posts here are applicable to "someone out there reading" even if not to the one posting. 

And BTW Sophocles,  that partikalar pig jus ain't gonna make it to tha pickin'.   Welcome to RWD...

Dave

[Sophocles]

There is of course more to our correspondence than I mention in my first post; I highlight the points that seem worth mentioning in this particular part of the Forum. I thank you all for your comments; even the blunt one's can be helpful. The dismissive ones tell me something too, even if they are of little use for me in this particular case. I don't have to prove I am not a "troll" or that she is no "Boris". There is a point where skepticism and cynicism begin to undermine a true critical attitude.

[Turboguy]

There are some very wonderful women in the FSU who dream of finding a good man and you seem like you have a lot going for you and would be a good catch for the right woman.
 
Anastasia has some wonderful women on their site.  Unfortunately they are in a very small minorty and there are lots more that either have bad motives or don't exist in real life.
 
There are enough red flags on the lady you are communicating with that I would be a little concerned about her being on the up and up.
 
One option would be to go to Kiev with a back up plan.  Perhaps using a local agency to meet women if she never shows or you don't hit it off.  I would suggest that you tell her you will give her the money for the train when you meet and not send it in advance.  If she is out to scam you that might get rid of her right there.  Travel by train is cheap.  The last train I took was a second class sleeper with about an 7 hour ride from Nikolev for $ 8.00.  Maybe first class might hit 40-50 but it is not so high she can not pay for it with you reimbursing her.
 
One way or the other I would recommend you get away from Anastasia.  The site I met my wife on and hear more guys having good results than any other is Elena's Models. 
 
Whatever you do, welcome to RWD and I hope you let us know how it all goes. 

[Sophocles]

Thank you so much for your advice, Turboguy. I have myself been thinking of doing more or less as you suggest.

BTW, what rational reasons are there to think that most of the Anastasia women are either bad apples or non-existent? Some of them obviously are professional daters. But most?

[GoodOlBoy]

You are the master of your own ship sir.
 
But if you actually came here for "good advice" (which I sincerely doubt), you need to pay attention to the ones who are married and have actually been through the wars in the FSU (and of course read about the train wreck's in the archives of RWD).
 
GOB

Again... FWIW: http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?action=ezportal;sa=page;p=34

[Daveman]

Thank you so much for your advice, Turboguy. I have myself been thinking of doing more or less as you suggest.

BTW, what rational reasons are there to think that most of the Anastasia women are either bad apples or non-existent? Some of them obviously are professional daters. But most?

That's a decent question...  the primary reason is that the affiliate agencies actively advertise for ladies to earn money chatting with old geysers men.

Everyone gets a cut from your activity -- Anastasia, the affiliate agency, the interpreters (who are actually doing most of the communicating in most cases) down to the girl herself.  It's all a conveyer belt of efficient precision with one ultimate goal in mind - to separate you from your money while maintaining your belief in the fantasy hype.  If you show up on the ground there, the fees only multiply to include drivers, real time interpreters (which the girl will invariably 'need'), apartments, etc...

[Boethius]

One member wrote quite a detailed thread on this -
 
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=13138.0

[Chelseaboy]

Sophocles,
                Anastasia advertise in Ukraine for girls to join their site,using big billboard sites,They offer a new  car,free holidays,and other goodies to the most productive chatters on that site.
I put my profile on there,before i knew all this,and even before i had put any profile photo's up,my mailbox was inundated with letters,expressing their desire for me ,from the most beautiful girls imaginable.It's all a fantasy,to suck money out of men,and these girls/agencies don't care about the men they hurt emotionally,and i speak from personal experience of dealing with Anastasia girls,and their agencies in Ukraine.
Take notice of what Mila tells you.She used to work as an interpreter in a local Ukrainian marriage agency,so she knows what goes on out there.
Dump that girl/prodater and move on to the other sites you've been recommended,and do yourself a favour.

[Spoon]

Sophocles, Like Mila I'm certain she is scamming you, there are just too many red flags to ignore. With a genuine girl, yes one maybe even 2 of those flags can be explained, but at least 6 (see Ecocks post) it's hard to ignore.
Believe the guys who have been there and seen the results, even the best, most well educated, streetwise guys have been syphoned by these girls. I once corresponded with a girl and almost the exact same excuses came up....lost her cell phone, suddenly couldn't afford internet cafe or translations and all the lovey dovey talk. She had me going for a couple of weeks, really pulled on the old heart strings, then I did some serious research into her 'alias' and email address etc and discovered I wasn't the only schmuck to fall for her (scam).

Don't feel one ounce of guilt about dropping her like a hot potato.

Try some of the free sites mentioned as well as Elena's models (found my Wife on Elena's) and good luck.

[SANDRO43]

the affiliate agencies actively advertise for ladies to earn money chatting with old geysers men.

Wasn't it geezers ? Unless you are subliminally influenced by certain pictures showing abundant, violent watery emissions - less and less likely after a certain age ?

[Daveman]

...

Try some of the free sites mentioned as well as Elena's models (found my Wife on Elena's) and good luck.

Yep, me too as well as a slew of others. I'll also mention that if she's on EM, it is likely that you'll find her on other dating sites as well, e.g., mamba, etc.  so the avenues for contacting real, sincere, interested ladies are not so narrow as depending upon a pay per interaction site. 

To others reading the tread, watch the inevitable series of events... first, something nagging at him that something isn't right -- that ole gut instinct --  then, when confronted with what's really going on, the fantasy grabs hold more tightly causing him to defend with "There is of course more to our correspondence than I mention in my first post..."   the twin heads of Peen and Pang will spin a bit, duel  and rationalizations will fly - specifically due to the Newbie Quip of the Year :

God gave man two heads and only enough blood to make one work at a time.

One head sees that something is amiss but the other fights with all its might with that inner penile telepathy "she's freakin' HOT .. and YOUNG.. don't give up! you look young for your age... don't listen to these idiots... they're just jealous.. they don't really know a thing... they wish they could have a hot young thing interested in THEM... there's still a chance you'll get this chick! Pecker Power! Pecker Power! Pecker Power!"

And then, inevitably as always, the "relationship" evaporates whenever the milk money dries up...

Sophocles, this is intended to be at least a little humorous... you know the answer... you knew it the moment your gut told you something is wrong...  if you still have doubt, then merely shut off every single avenue  of the milk money...

There are too many sincere Russian or Ukrainian ladies out there to waste even one more moment on this nonsense.

Dave

[Daveman]

Wasn't it geezers ? Unless you are subliminally influenced by certain pictures showing abundant, violent watery emissions - less and less likely after a certain age ?

 

It must have been a Freudian slip induced by the Evil Twin after too much pondering of the Anastasia girls... There's that one I still have the hots for though I can't recall her name.. as if that matters much... 

[GoodOlBoy]

With good genetics and living a healthy lifestyle, I've been fortunate not to look my age (64), especially when compared to most Ukraine men.

Sound familiar PhD (Piled High and Deep)? 
 

I am 17 years her senior, very fit (people usually think I am 10-15 years younger than I really am),

You are what you are Sophocles.
Don't ever try to bullsh*t yourself and others about it.
 
GOB
 

[Sophocles]

Thank you again all for your comments - again, including the straightforward ones. It is true, there are too many red flags in this. You guys have forced me (or helped me) to look at the whole thing from the opposite angle so to speak. It seems preferable to assume this is fake and let her prove she is real, if she can. Yesterday I noticed there are at least two different people involved in writing her e-mails. In addition, she now informs me she prefers not no discuss the "financial issues" on the phone, because - and this is a new "development" - she says she doesn't understand me very well. There have been no problems in understanding each other on the phone up until now.

A detail regarding the manner some of you present your thoughts: I don't take offense very easily myself, but if somebody does, you are not going to help him by insulting him.