women with adult children

[Gator]

Before closing for the start of a festive evening, I do owe an apology.  Yes, to my stepdaughter for doing a bad job of explaining her  sweet, serious and family oriented nature. 


There is much more that I could share, yet the reaction of some convinces me that they do not deserve to read it.  Odd that they never share anything other than the infrequent tidbit suggesting they are superior.

[Ade]

Before closing for the start of a festive evening, I do owe an apology.  Yes, to my stepdaughter for doing a bad job of explaining her  sweet, serious and family oriented nature. 


There is much more that I could share, yet the reaction of some convinces me that they do not deserve to read it.  Odd that they never share anything other than the infrequent tidbit suggesting they are superior.

lol Of course she's just like Donna Pedro and any other typical, "family oriented" and "traditional" MOB that will take gifts from men with no intention of ever being romantically interested in them, but still requiring gifts and monetary contributions from the "lucky ones" to be remotely interested. We know what they are called on this forum, even by you. What's the term I used, oh yes, "flexible morals".

[Ade]

This is actually a very common trick on internet forums: a person puts down an opponent  to show others that he is better than him. In this case Ade wants to prove that compared to me HIS own wife is not a real MOB.   A petty trick actually, but then we are not on a rocket-scientist forum here..So.. ok, you have proved your point. You wife is not a real MOB, she is better. Signature  -" Donna Pedro". Stamp. Now you can go to bed knowing you have my approval. Please, guys, feel free to give your approvals as well. Mr. Ade  has demonstrated a need for them.

Yes, you're absolutely right. She's not a MOB and yes, going by your posts here, she is your superior in every way. 

[pitbull]

She'd have to be dumber than a bag of hammers if she doesn't realize that men will take her acceptance of their gifts as a sign that there's a possibility of something happening. And if she does realize, which is undoubtedly the case, she is incredibly disingenious and no different that the pro-daters back home in Cossack land.

Surprise-surprise, I'm with Ade again!
Gator, it seems that between the three of you (your Cossack, Her daughter, and You), YOU are the only "incredibly naive" one  And I'm with Ranetka here - the Cossack RW sure can't judge civi's woman as "bad RW" while she failed to teach her own daughter how to be a "good one"
 

[OlgaH]

Not in my culture  If a woman accepts fairly expensive gifts like lewelry or "trips" from a man, it's a direct hint that she is leaning towards accepting his advances. Otherwise, she is just using him for gifts. Fellow RWD-ers call such women pro-daters   
 
 Going to a restaurant on a date when a man pays is the part of courtship.

+1

Surprise-surprise, I'm with Ade again!
Gator, it seems that between the three of you (your Cossack, Her daughter, and You), YOU are the only "incredibly naive" one  And I'm with Ranetka here - the Cossack RW sure can't judge civi's woman as "bad RW" while she failed to teach her own daughter how to be a "good one"
 

+1

[GQBlues]

Dang! Not sure why folks are piling up on both Gator and DonnaP...
 
I think the blame lies on that dying 85 YO grandma for breaking up what was an otherwise beautiful, budding relationship the OP and her affectionate daughter were consumating until she decided to timely acquire stomach cancer and ruin it all...
 
He should be admired for cutting quick from such a bad woman! 

 
At least, on the *bright side* of this saga, the OP can start over again with a 'new' woman...one hopefully who'll be much younger than the last to insure himself she won't have any sickly relatives anytime soon. Heck, one that may actually even look forward to garage sales shopping days once she arrives.
 
Yipee! Let's rah-rah behind these guys! As mentioned above, we sure hope Civi and all those like him never gives up on FSUWs...so why don't we steer him to those sites with all those 'sincere' women instead. LOL.
 
 

[JR]

Actually my experience translates to 10 years of successful marriage, being with my husband "in good times and in bad, in health and in sickness"  which very few of you can boast. This alone should prove that my point has a lot of value. Now lets see what you can bring to the table.  Please before you post your next reply to me - please say  what is it in particular, "besides words" do you have to offer?

10.5 years of marriage to a RW )))

[Gylden]

Quote of the day:
> 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her
> sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give
> you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you
> give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and
> enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready
> to receive a ton of sh!t.'

[Misha]

At least, on the *bright side* of this saga, the OP can start over again with a 'new' woman...one hopefully who'll be much younger than the last to insure himself she won't have any sickly relatives anytime soon. Heck, one that may actually even look forward to garage sales shopping days once she arrives.

Yes, he should seek a woman who sees married life as a partnership, not a debt to be paid off by the man, with usurious interest. I would say that the odds of the mother in question dying of cancer are pretty remote. In my experience with family members who died of cancer, they were quite sick for a long time and they were not simply diagnosed out of the blue with terminal cancer. The rule of thumb should be to get to know the woman and her family. Once you know the mother, the daughter, and everybody else, and once you are married, then you should as a couple decide what is the best course of action. Here it comes across as a ploy to get money out of our OP, money that he did not spend on his trip. Likewise, the daughter's divorce seems pretty convenient: she gets divorced before she arrives to justify sending the daughter the sum she wants to send indefinitely without her having to work    Perhaps I am wrong, but somehow I doubt it, and the OP likely does not either as I wager he did not meet the mother on his trip 

[GQBlues]

Yes, he should seek a woman who sees married life as a partnership, not a debt to be paid off by the man, with usurious interest.

Debt? Usurious interests? Which part of his posts did you read this from?
 

...I would say that the odds of the mother in question dying of cancer are pretty remote. In my experience with family members who died of cancer, they were quite sick for a long time and they were not simply diagnosed out of the blue with terminal cancer.

Not always. There are many cases where cancer wasn't diagnosed until too late in it's stages and death and suffering are but a few days away...That happened to a good friend of mine and a client.
 

...The rule of thumb should be to get to know the woman and her family. Once you know the mother, the daughter, and everybody else, and once you are married, then you should as a couple decide what is the best course of action.

Exactly.
 
Except the OP knew this woman's family's circumstances well enough to the point he even made a remark about suspecting the daughter's husband/marriage future during his 1st trip. Maybe there were too many bedroon activities to attend to to really give this an honest thought and consideration during those times, yes?    Now that that's behind him, it is now convenient to think things over. How cozy...
 

...Here it comes across as a ploy to get money out of our OP, money that he did not spend on his trip.

Show us where in the OP's posts did this even remotely resembled as a ploy...
 

... Likewise, the daughter's divorce seems pretty convenient: she gets divorced before she arrives to justify sending the daughter the sum she wants to send indefinitely without her having to work 

Show us exactly where this woman asked the OP to send money due to the daughter's divorce. What I read was she spoke with him about how she would like that 'they' send monies back home and that she would work as soon as possible to insure this happens.
 
Heck, matter of fact the woman didn't even told or asked him to send the costs of the babushka's hospitalization other than to "tell him to send whatever amount he wishes to send" . It was he who made the assumption she must mean to send $2,000.00 if not all of it.
 

Update: the operation costs $4000 and is a stop gap measure to keep her alive right now and to reduce pain for a few weeks or months. The cancer is terminal and spreading. She is too old and weak for drugs or chemo. I am asked to contribute as much as possible. I couldn't get a straight answer on what that means. Other than I suspect  $2000 minimum, all if possible. I feel that even if I send money, it will only postpone things.

Postpone things? LOL. Yeah, just shoot the darn woman and get this over with, eh? I suppose to some that's better than watching them in pain. LOL.
 

...Perhaps I am wrong, but somehow I doubt it, and the OP likely does not either as I wager he did not meet the mother on his trip   

You are.

[GoodOlBoy]

The last few pages of this thread reminds GOB of the super rich folks like Warren Buffet and others who run around throwing themselves in front of a camera, microphone or even Congress exclaiming: "I DON'T PAY ENOUGH TAXES"... "I WANT TO PAY MORE TAXES!!"
 
He!!s bells, the solution is simple.
Just stroke a check out to Barack and Company.
Don't worry, he will spend it!
 
Again here the solution for the imaginary sick 85yo Babushka is also simple.
Instead of RWD members trying to throw themselves up on a cross to prove their point about how strong their convictions are, just contact the OP for details and stroke out a check. 
 
But please do us all a favor when it is over and done with.
Do not come back to RWD whining incessantly about how you got ripped off by "Peggy". 


 

 
GOB
 
 

[GQBlues]

I think I know your character well enough GOB so no need to skip this sideways. I know you have a good soul. I wouldn't mind chipping in for this babushka's cause if Civi can come clean and give us a venue to do so. Heck, I won't even mind having him take credit for whatever monies he can generate from this and let his lady knows it all came from him. Give us the contact info on this woman and we'll send the monies by way of western union - in HIS name. I wouldn't mind nominating Gator or Donna Pedro to do the collection.
 
I would challenge YOU, an I mean YOU, to match me dollar for dollar on this and let's put our monies where our mouths are. Let's cut this silliness once and for all. based on Misha's last post, it is apparent MUCH of the convictions opposed to this seem to me were made strictly by reading something else that never was IN the OP's posts.
 
How's that?

[GoodOlBoy]

I wouldn't mind chipping in for this babushka's cause if Civi can come clean and give us a venue to do so.

Yeah GQ, I'm game.
Who knows, it may even get me through the pearly gates one day. 
 
GOB

[GQBlues]

Yeah GQ, I'm game.
Who knows, it may even get me through the pearly gates one day. 
 
GOB

You see! That's what I'm talking about. I know you're a good guy 
 
Now we need to get Gator and/or DonnaP's attention and contact Civi and see if we can make this happen...

[Misha]

Heck, matter of fact the woman didn't even told or asked him to send the costs of the babushka's hospitalization other than to "tell him to send whatever amount he wishes to send" . It was he who made the assumption she must mean to send $2,000.00 if not all of it.

The most skillful manipulators and con artists never have to ask, they merely know when to drop in hints and suggestions at the appropriate moment to have the person volunteer to do what they want...

[GQBlues]

The most skillful manipulators and con artists never have to ask, they merely know when to drop in hints and suggestions at the appropriate moment to have the person volunteer to do what they want...

Yes Misha of course!...and may you and yours have a wonderful New Year and hope all its blessings find its way upon your doorsteps always.

[Donna_Pedro]

Yes, you're absolutely right. She's not a MOB and yes, going by your posts here, she is your superior in every way. 

Yep, but I am. You can not do much about it. These are the facts, face them - I am a RW myself, that is why I know better than you about my culture. Not ALL,  but definitely better than you.  I have been successfully married to an AM at least 5 times longer than you. Again - these are facts, not speculations.  Let me repeat -  you are just a "sad little king of a sad little hill, with delusions of standing. (c)

[Ade]

Yep, but I am. You can not do much about it. These are the facts, face them - I am a RW myself, that is why I know better than you about my culture. Not ALL,  but definitely better than you.  I have been successfully married to an AM at least 5 times longer than you. Again - these are facts, not speculations.  Let me repeat -  you are just a "sad little king of a sad little hill, with delusions of standing. (c)

So then, "my" RW who not only disagrees with you but also behaves nothing like you say all RW should behave is somehow an aberration or is lying then? Perhaps you rationalize and justify your mercinary mindset and even project that onto all other RW to make yourself feel less dirty? You know that selling yourself for material gain is the oldest profession in the world? In some countries it's even legal.

And, fwiw, your "at least 5x longer" fact is inaccurate. Just like a lot of other "facts" of yours.

[Donna_Pedro]

So then, "my" RW who not only disagrees

Ok,  I told you already - she is an exclusion and an example for all of us, MOBs. Bring her picture, we are going to have a group prayer to her. "All hail Ade's wife". What else do you want? I have given you my stamped approval, I am ready to pray on the picture of your wife. Just dont ask me to sing, I am tone deaf, people here might not appreciate,  but shot of this please  tell me what other form of approval would you want from me?

[Donna_Pedro]

The most skillful manipulators and con artists never have to ask, they merely know when to drop in hints and suggestions at the appropriate moment to have the person volunteer to do what they want...

Its not the case here. He asked. She answered. But really, is there a correct way? A woman can not hint  on money  for the risk of being called a manipulator. She also can not state it openly - for the risk of losing a guy ( as it happened in this topic). She can not even have a open  "future" money talk with her (prospect) husband. So what and how would you prefer  money talks served to you? Of course you would prefer there was no money talks at all. But just operate under the assumption that money talks are like taxes - unavoidable.

[Misha]

So what and how would you prefer  money talks served to you?

Quite simple: I would not want a woman to ask me for money, until a relationship had been established, and one week does not suffice. Ideally, you should have weeks of dating, and discussions about money and overall values should come naturally in those first weeks. I would also want to meet with parents and family and get to know them as well and I would see any outrageous expectations in those first weeks and months as a red flag that would certainly have me reconsider the relationship. In other words, seeking to date as "normally" as possible.

[Patagonie]

Quite simple: I would not want a woman to ask me for money, until a relationship had been established, and one week does not suffice. Ideally, you should have weeks of dating, and discussions about money and overall values should come naturally in those first weeks. I would also want to meet with parents and family and get to know them as well and I would see any outrageous expectations in those first weeks and months as a red flag that would certainly have me reconsider the relationship. In other words, seeking to date as "normally" as possible.

+2

[Donna_Pedro]

Quite simple: I would not want a woman to ask me for money, until a relationship had been established, and one week does not suffice.

Isnt it what usually happens during the first visit? I mean meeting with parents etc? Also, regular guys, those working for corporate america, they only have a total of 4-6 weeks vacation every year, so lets say, first trip - 2-3 weeks face time (In my case 10 days) and no unlimited resources to stay for a long time and make multiple trips . After the first trip you either file for a visa or you dont.  But wouldnt you want to learn things like "I will have to send money to my mom" as early as you can? I mean, why waste time if you dont agree on basics?

[Kuna]

Ok,  I told you already - she is an exclusion and an example for all of us, MOBs. Bring her picture, we are going to have a group prayer to her. "All hail Ade's wife". What else do you want? I have given you my stamped approval, I am ready to pray on the picture of your wife. Just dont ask me to sing, I am tone deaf, people here might not appreciate,  but shot of this please  tell me what other form of approval would you want from me?

You're wrong - AGAIN.

Ade's wife is not the only one who doesn't scheme money out of men...

Misha has said the same about his wife... certainly my wife refused money from me until she came here - with the exception of me buying things she wasn't aware of until she got them (Air tickets to Moscow, etc).



The following message is for new men DP, not you... 

It's important new men searching realise there are women in FSU who will scheme and manipulate to get money early on in a "relationship"...  sometimes even before meeting.

There are other women who have pride and integrity and will refuse to be "sponsored".

When together the man should pay for everything of course,  but sending financial support for a woman prior to marriage has often ended badly according to the posts in here over many years.

Typically women who are more reliant on your money are less reliable as your partner.

It's your choice - just don't complain after you realise you are getting scammed.

[Patagonie]

Isnt it what usually happens during the first visit? I mean meeting with parents etc? Also, regular guys, those working for corporate america, they only have a total of 4-6 weeks vacation every year, so lets say, first trip - 2-3 weeks face time (In my case 10 days) and no unlimited resources to stay for a long time and make multiple trips . After the first trip you either file for a visa or you dont.  But wouldnt you want to learn things like "I will have to send money to my mom" as early as you can? I mean, why waste time if you dont agree on basics?

Yes you score one. You want to say : is it not adult to speak early of serious topics because we are aiming for a marriage ?

In absolute yes. I can tell you that is a big advantage of FSU relations : you can speak directly of personal (if you ask a very personal question to an FSU woman she will answer in any 98 % of case, an AW 75 % will shit on you) and marriage issues. Something impossible to do with an AW.

Now i have something to explain you. How a man thinks, and on an other scale how women assess men also :

You met a guy, he has a good education, he is pretty, he is intelligent and you have had an interesting first meeting of two hours. You decide to date him again. You are interested in each other, your rank him  a high mark 17/20.

During the second meeting, he forgot to hold the door of the restaurant when you come into. You NOTICE it.
At the restaurant, when you are speaking he picks up the phone letting you alone four minutes. His score down of two : 15/20.

You go to a bar club to have a drink and when time comes to pay taxi he want to pay but he has only big bill and you have to give little money to the taxi.

The atmosphere was sensual and the music very entertaining. You ask him to dance, he did but hurt you with his knee unfortunately. His score now 13/20.

At the end of the evening you want to know more about his family and his friends and he begin to speak about his best friend who just get divorced, and how he is sorry for him. He explains you that he surely losing 3/4 of his wages and he has to be a fool to have not sign a prenup  before. His score now 8/20, you have an headache and you want to come back at home.

You follow me Donna we have the same "sort" of mark system and each time a woman makes us uncomfortable she (or he) is gradually losing his/her score. When the score is less then 10  the relation is going in flames, the guy (or the girl) is no longer interested by his/her partner. If you want to keep the interested of a guy high, demanding any numerals is a kill lover. You can do only when he is very comfortable with you. So you are right it's better to know as soon as possible any "foolish" expectation (in your opinion i mean, people are different) because you can filter earlier. 

There is also something FSU girls quickly forget, before opening the door of the restaurant, western guys are dropping first a 2,3,4,5 or 6 k $ for the travel. Just to be here and meet you. This a litlle commitment in regard of the big move you are making later, but just to bring to mind.