Do most Russian/Ukrainian women expect to be home wifes?

[Gator]

There are a couple of ways of looking at it.. one common way is that it takes a certain personality type to consider seeking a marriage partner abroad.  The other is that those who do are the most likely candidates to have the "entitlement" attitude, who are absorbed with appearances, status, etc etc...

Yes, the most likely candidate.  And some do.  The self-absorbed entitlement attitude becomes evident quickly during the correspondence period.  And when it does, one pushes down on the flush lever.  There are many others who are sincere about forming a loving family.  Then again, my sample is not representyative as I met only older women, most with children.
 
 

[Misha]

I'm sure you understand the difference here between a woman making her own choices based on circumstance, and a woman being expected by her husband to work wherever doing whatever to help pay the bills?

Yet, somehow almost all RW married to RM in Russia somehow manage to survive even if their husbands will expect that they will work 

[jeff9556]

She could live on my salary for a couple of years, that's no problem.

Remember that she can attend SFI (Swedish for Immigrants) for quite some time, and get paid for this. This is crucial you get her into SFI as soon as possible.

With regards to the OP mentioning jobs such as cleaning, I think he is actually being realistic - this is Sweden, and unless you know Swedish fluently, without too much accent, then your chances of getting a good job are practically zero. It will take her a few years to master Swedish, retrain or re-certify, make contacts (much harder in Sweden due to the culture - this is not the USA where people befriend others easily).

I know a lot of immigrants in Sweden whose first jobs were cleaning or delivering newspapers - work records is very important here and any "gaps" are viewed in a bad light by employers, regardless of the reasons. Also simply getting your first tax return under your belt is important otherwise you can't do something as simple as getting a mobile phone contract (even with a personal number - this is the Swedish eq to social security number).

Unemployment here is high and competition for available jobs fierce - this is a country where just about everyone has higher education, degrees if not a post graduate degree. Girls working in the supermarket probably has a degree, immigrant doctors are driving taxi's etc - this is not an exaggeration sad to say.

[Viking456]

It sounds as if you're choosing a new car or a dog, really.
Why do you want to marry a woman from Russian or Ukraine? Do you think it's easier than marry a local girl or that they demand less?

I believe it is easier than to marry a local girl, but that there will be more practical difficulties (for her to get a job e.t.c.).

I don't know if they demand less. Guess it's about the same. As long as she is dependent on my money I'd believe she would demand a bit less but when she has her own income it might be the same as a Swedish girl.

The main thing is that I think it's easier to get a good girl from Ukraine, one who is beautiful, intelligent and younger than me.

And regarding the dog/car thing.. Well.. I am an engineer so I guess I think in practical terms  But I am looking for someone who I get along with well too, I am not only looking for someone with a particular set of properties. There should be some positive chemistry there.

[Gator]

Unemployment here is high and competition for available jobs fierce - this is a country where just about everyone has higher education, degrees if not a post graduate degree. Girls working in the supermarket probably has a degree, immigrant doctors are driving taxi's etc - this is not an exaggeration sad to say.

It reminds me of the FSU in the early 1990s.  Many doctors were working in cosmetic kiosks or for a supermarket.   Things changed as the shift to capitalism progressed.

[Viking456]

Reeducating your wife.  Very noble.  This happens with many RW wives.
 
Cleaning offices?  You have an interesting brain to be noble on one hand and then state this.  Why not get her a job working as a nude dancer? The latter would surely pay more. 
 
There is another option. I don't see any reason for young people to marry other than to have children.  So why not a child?  If you do not know her well enough to want a child with her, why marry?  If you can not afford a child, I agree with Misha that you should date locally for now. 
 
Part of the motivation for marrying a foreign man is the opportunity for a "better" life.  Cleaning offices would be okay if your RW were presently employed as an apartment building custodian (those who sweep the stair well, pick up garbage, etc.). 

There's nothing wrong with cleaning offices in my opinion. It is better than being unemployed if that's the alternative. And it'd be her choice if she wanted to reeducate herself. If she don't want to educate herself then she'd have to take the jobs she could find. Just like anyone else.  And if she just wanted to work part time that'd be OK.

I haven't said that I don't want children. In fact I know that most Ukrainian women value family life highly, so if I married an Ukrainian woman I would get children with her when she had gotten herself a job. I could afford to support children with my wage alone but it would be a lot tougher on just one wage.

[pitbull]

The main thing is that I think it's easier to get a good girl from Ukraine, one who is beautiful, intelligent and younger than me.

how old are you and how much younger do you want the girl to be? this is also a factor in the whole 'employment" issue.

[Gator]

Gator, you are right, I should have used most I instead of all. Mea culpa.

I disagree with "most" based on my experience.
 

I know few RW in Russia who did not take on a less than prestigious job if necessary for the sake of their family.

Almost all when immigrating do take a less prominent position than they had in the FSU.  And some have advanced quickly from this starting position.  In contrast, cleaning offices has a very short career ladder. 
 

 As for RW and whether they would immigrate if they knew they had to clean offices temporarily, I wager many if not most would.

Versus a professional position, albeit lower paying, with more opportunity for advancement?  You and I must politely disagree.   But when there are no other choices for putting food on the table, I will agree.  In this latter case, I think it best not to marry  a RW and stay with local women.

[Misha]

I disagree with "most" based on my experience.

Well, your experience differs, mine is based on friends and acquaintances who were not looking for foreigners or married to foreigners.
 

Almost all when immigrating do take a less prominent position than they had in the FSU.  And some have advanced quickly from this starting position.  In contrast, cleaning offices has a very short career ladder. 

Sure, when a nurse is certified she will move up the ladder. When she isn't there are fewer options.
 

Versus a professional position, albeit lower paying, with more opportunity for advancement?  You and I must politely disagree.   But when there are no other choices for putting food on the table, I will agree.  In this latter case, I think it best not to marry  a RW and stay with local women.

I am sure that my friend who married in Belarus had other plans and other dreams. But, they had the opportunity to immigrate to Canada, and his wife who understood that her husband would be safer in Canada than in Minsk was willing to make the sacrifice. She never complains about having to work too hard even though she is now working seven days a week. She understands that it is temporary and she puts the needs of her family first.

[Viking456]

Remember that she can attend SFI (Swedish for Immigrants) for quite some time, and get paid for this. This is crucial you get her into SFI as soon as possible.

Yes SFI would be a great idea anyhow.. Didn't know they got paid for it though.. Do you know how much?

[Viking456]

how old are you and how much younger do you want the girl to be? this is also a factor in the whole 'employment" issue.

I am 29 and I'd like the woman to be 4-8 years younger than me.

[jeff9556]

The OP might already know this but there is a fairly well worn path for successful immigration into Sweden:

1. SFI (Swedish for Immigrants), govt funded language schools for immigrants learning Swedish as a second language. From memory you can go for one year. You get paid to do this - pretty minimal but you get paid!

2. During this time work towards permanent residency, or get married.

2. Next off to University for up to 6 years of higher education/re-education. This is free, and you get paid student allowance, plus a lot of other benefits, discounts and so on. Big chance for RW to make a career change if she wants.

3. Get good job.

If a women refuses to work I would be pretty weary of this in Sweden, unless you are going to pull the really big bucks then you are going to be living a second rate life - while all your friends take annual holidays in Spain, drive a new Volvo and have a nice apartment, you will be holidaying in Borås, driving a beat up VW Golf and forget about owning your own apartment, unless you already do.

Whats more you will need to live with the stigma of having a "housewife" which is likely to go down as well as sex tourist at the annual gay/bi women's annual feminist convention... you may as well get "I subjugate women" tattoo on your forehead, such are the attitudes in Scandinavia.

[Nat]

I am 29 and I'd like the woman to be 4-8 years younger than me.

Why? I'm asking just out of curiosity I can understand when men over 45 dream of a hot young body under 30, but in your case - people in their 20s are mostly the same - when they are 21, 25 or 29 What's the big deal about her being younger?

[jeff9556]

Yes SFI would be a great idea anyhow.. Didn't know they got paid for it though.. Do you know how much?

I can't recall, its been years since I attended. I think I got a few thousand kr per month, enough to cover transportation and basic expenses etc. I was in Stockholm and attended SFI in Solna. Great way to make contacts and there was some pretty hot RW/UW on my courses at that time also

[Viking456]

I can't recall, its been years since I attended. I think I got a few thousand kr per month, enough to cover transportation and basic expenses etc. I was in Stockholm and attended SFI in Solna. Great way to make contacts and there was some pretty hot RW/UW on my courses at that time also

That's pretty nice actually. I wrote to the Swedish school system about it, guess I will get the details from them.

You covered an ideal Swedish immigration process very well in your earlier post 

[Viking456]

Why? I'm asking just out of curiosity I can understand when men over 45 dream of a hot young body under 30, but in your case - people in their 20s are mostly the same - when they are 21, 25 or 29 What's the big deal about her being younger?

Yes you are right.. People in their 20:s are mostly the same.. However, a woman that is 21 years old stay in her 20:s for 8 more years than a girl who is 29 

So in other words I'd prefer a woman who'd look hot for many years.

[pitbull]

Yes you are right.. People in their 20:s are mostly the same.. However, a woman that is 21 years old stay in her 20:s for 8 more years than a girl who is 29 

So in other words I'd prefer a woman who'd look hot for many years.

Well, since you are relatively young and the age gap is not large, I'd say it's reasonable to expect your future wife to work, you will be building a future together as a young couple. If you were 40+, it would have been a different story.
 
Just make sure you don't get one of those glamor princesses, none of the girls from the link will clean offices
http://englishrussia.com/2011/11/17/beauties-from-moscow-clubs/#more-77445
 

[Viking456]

Well, since you are relatively young and the age gap is not large, I'd say it's reasonable to expect your future wife to work, you will be building a future together as a young couple. If you were 40+, it would have been a different story.
 
Just make sure you don't get one of those glamor princesses, none of the girls from the link will clean offices
http://englishrussia.com/2011/11/17/beauties-from-moscow-clubs/#more-77445

Yeah I'm not really looking for a party girl either. I'd want to avoid that as it'd never work out. But maybe there are some normal women that looks almost as good as some of the girls you linked to 

[Ade]

Yet, somehow almost all RW married to RM in Russia somehow manage to survive even if their husbands will expect that they will work 

Again, there is a difference between her working on her terms, and his.

[Misha]

Again, there is a difference between her working on her terms, and his.

Sure, and in most families couples are quite capable of deciding these things together. What is important is to have the discussion before marriage and to understand a woman's views of work and career. She should understand the challenges of immigration to any country.

[Vincenzo]

Isn't Sweden the heaven for those who don't want to work?
Huge unemployment checks, free apartments, free medicine, food, cash, etc.

My perception has been criticized here.
If you want your future wife to work, check her current education, profession, and language skills.
 Why would you marry a girl whose profession is Russian literature or psychology or nail polishing? Psychology is a typical kind of education for a girl who doesn't want to work.

[Misha]

Psychology is a typical kind of education for a girl who doesn't want to work.

More flakey theories. There are plenty of women who study psychology simply because they enjoy the discipline    Vince, I do wonder whether you even have a high school diploma at times....

[Vincenzo]

More flakey theories. There are plenty of women who study psychology simply because they enjoy the discipline 

Yes, she enjoys psychology. Will she find a good job in Sweden?
Though, I know that a good female psychologist can extract hundreds dollars when a man finds a perfect listener in a strip club.

[Misha]

Though, I know that a good female psychologist can extract hundreds dollars when a man finds a perfect listener in a strip club.

I see where you like to spend your time and money    You have never answered my question: what is your profession and what is you level of education?

[Vincenzo]

I see where you like to spend your time and money    You have never answered my question: what is your profession and what is you level of education?

I wouldn't spend money to talk to women in a strip club. However, my friend has a relative who works as a stripper in LV earning $1,000 a night because she is good in conversations about life.

Also, I don't think that cleaning toilets for $20 an hour is better than stripping.

I work as a programmer. Nobody cares about my education(Computer Science), I have to pass computer tests before each job interview.