Hello from New England

[Kineo]

You have some serious discussion with your lady ahead of you. Please, put the child first no matter what. I suggest you both include Bogdan's father into these discussions.

I agree this might not be easy. But in my opinion important.
 
-K
 

[artisan5308]

You know, Muzh, the jury is out on whether the father is doing a good job of raising his son. In my eyes, this appears to be the case since Bogdan appears healthy and happy like any boy his age should be. Ksyusha claims he is very angry and intimidating towards children, so who knows what the real truth is.

When we were discussing the possibility of Bogdan coming to America, we offered three variants to Andrew.

1. Bogdan stays with him and we have Bogdan during the summer months.
2. Bogdan comes with us and spends summer with Andrew.
3. Bogdan comes with us and Andrew gets visitors visa to U.S. to see Bogdan.

Andrew like option 2, so that solves part of the problem. We also have skype capability and google voice should he need to speak with his father at any time. I think everything will be ok and if it isn't Bogdan can always go back to Dad if he isn't happy here.

[Gator]

You know, Muzh, the jury is out on whether the father is doing a good job of raising his son.

Compared to stories of the typical divorced RM fathers, Andrew is doing very well. 
 
Regardless of the horror stories of abandonment, there are many example of decent RM.  The best story is one told by my Cossack woman.  About one year ago when going through passport control together the agent, a young man, smiled and started chatting with her.  She told me that the agent is one of three children.  His mother was an alcoholic and abandoned her family when the oldest kid was around 6-yo.  The father raised the three kids without remarrying, and all three kids today are delightful well-adjusted people.
 

Andrew like option 2, so that solves part of the problem. We also have skype capability and google voice should he need to speak with his father at any time. I think everything will be ok and if it isn't Bogdan can always go back to Dad if he isn't happy here.

y
 
Sounds like a good plan.  BTW, your wife should ask the father for written permission for immigration of all three children.  It is needed.

[artisan5308]

Gator, thanks for your continued interest in my posts. Andrew and Ksyusha met with her attorney for the proper document allowing release of the children. Since the document is only good for ninety days, the attorney advised that they should wait until the visa interview is scheduled before moving forward.

I'm planning a trip day after Christmas to visit and celebrate the New Years holiday (my second) and am traveling from JFK to Moscow to Donetsk. This will be my third time going this route which is arduous to say the least. The overnight in Moscow stuck in the airport can be brutal.  But it saves a couple hundred. I use Transaero right off their website and can get there round trip for 840 USD. Do you know of any cheaper routes?

[Muzh]

You know, Muzh, the jury is out on whether the father is doing a good job of raising his son. In my eyes, this appears to be the case since Bogdan appears healthy and happy like any boy his age should be. Ksyusha claims he is very angry and intimidating towards children, so who knows what the real truth is.
 

LOL
IF you ask my exwife, she'll tell you I'm a monster. However, ask my children. 
 
Gator is spot on with his assessment.

When we were discussing the possibility of Bogdan coming to America, we offered three variants to Andrew.

1. Bogdan stays with him and we have Bogdan during the summer months.
2. Bogdan comes with us and spends summer with Andrew.
3. Bogdan comes with us and Andrew gets visitors visa to U.S. to see Bogdan.

Andrew like option 2, so that solves part of the problem. We also have skype capability and google voice should he need to speak with his father at any time. I think everything will be ok and if it isn't Bogdan can always go back to Dad if he isn't happy here.

First, I didn't know you guys talked about it and I'm glad you did. Shows you have your feet planted firmly on the ground
 
It seems you are very flexible about this which is great. I really hope Bogdan likes it here. I'm assuming you have told Bogdan about his options. That should calm his fears.
 
Good Luck. Hope everything works out for all of you.

[ML]

Feeding 5 mouths vs. 4 - there is no significant difference. 

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-06-09/u-s-child-born-in-2010-may-cost-226-920-to-raise-usda-says.html

A middle-income family may spend $226,920 to raise a child born in 2010 to the age of 18 . . . and then the university costs start.

[GQBlues]

Holy smokes...good luck with everything artisan. Maybe you have as much money as Gator. He apparently have enough to support a small nation.
 
Wifey will likely need a car, so would the 16 yo. (yikes the insurance premiums alone) Private school$ for all. Clothe$, vacation$, insurance$ (does she have living parent$$  ), trip$ back home, hobbie$ for all, etc...I'd estimate 100-125K the first year alone. Just gets more expensive as the years unfold....
 
This 'just add water' instant family ideals should always be shaken, not stirred. But if that's what you want at this stage of your life, then more power to you. It'$ nice getting the feeling of supporting an entire family because of 'love' as long as your reserves are far from empty...but in a few years and you turn 60...well, think about it.
 
Reality have a very neat way of breaking down the numbers for you when or if you're not paying attention.
 
There's a gentleman I've come to know here who married a Ukrainian lady with a daughter. He was 59 at the time and she's 33. He made a ton of money when he sold his Sta Monica home. $$$$ Bought her folks a 4 BD (not rooms, bedrooms) home in Ukraine - cash, then brought wifey and daughter here....
 
5 years later, he's living in a one bedroom apartment, divorced and broke, while his ex is dating a Russian guy (after dating a few) presently. FWIW.
 
But hey...they remained friends. So apparently that's what is important. 
 
Allow me to be blunt. You're senior to me so you have a ton more life's experiences than I do....but let's face it, 'love' at your age is sketchy to me at this point. What's wrong then with 'loving' a childless, single Ukrainian woman at the same age?
 
I mean seriously. I read one of your post where you mentioned you're about to go there for the Holidays and stated your flight route. Everything seem fine until you ask the forum if anyone know of a better route that could save you 200 bucks (?!?!). I say Happy Holidays!

[Gator]

Holy smokes...good luck with everything artisan. Maybe you have as much money as Gator. He apparently have enough to support a small nation.

The nation of dependents is not so small:
 
    12 million illegal immigrants
      3 million crackheads
    42 million unemployable people on food stamps
      2 million people in over 243 prisons
   Half of Mexico
   535 incompetents in the U.S. House and Senate
 

A middle-income family may spend $226,920 to raise a child born in 2010 to the age of 18 . . . and then the university costs start.

I adhere to Jamaica guidelines.  Jamaican kids are healthy and happy.  Weed costs would be high if one is not able to obtain medical licenses for production.
 
 

[artisan5308]

 :clapping:truth

[artisan5308]

Hello GQ,
Being this is my fifth trip over to Ukraine in fifteen months, you bet I'm pinching pennies. I don't remember asking anybody if they could save me two hundred bucks. I asked if anybody knew of any carriers that may be cheaper, duh. Reading your profile, I can only gather that you haven't made any excursions of yet. Do you think that the costs end at the ticket counter? Believe me, there is plenty money to be spent. Me, I'd rather spend it on my lady and her family. You go fly business or  first if that suits you.

That being said, I want to thank you for blundgeoning me with all the stats regarding the costs of raising kids. It was eye opening and definetly delivered a knot to the stomach, since I am not a rich man. However, I have no debt, cheap mortgage, and am self employed. I am also careful with money. Ksyusha has learned and accepted this and knows that I am not a spendthrift.

Your anecdotal story of the 57 yr old man and 33 yr old UW sounds horrific. I'm happy to hear that they have remained friends. That 24 year age difference had to have been stressful. Next time I would recommend he stick with <20 yrs in his search, should he regain any of his wealth. He should also consider that she have more than one child, as this can act as an anchor (not the kind that sinks, but secures)  for the marriage. Just saying.

Like most men at my age, I spend considerable time meditating on the uncertainties and absence of guarantees that life offers. I can spend the rest of my time alone with these contemplations, or I can share them with a loved one.

I'll choose the latter.

Peter

[Misha]

Wifey will likely need a car, so would the 16 yo. (yikes the insurance premiums alone) Private school$ for all. Clothe$, vacation$, insurance$ (does she have living parent$$  ), trip$ back home, hobbie$ for all, etc...I'd estimate 100-125K the first year alone. Just gets more expensive as the years unfold....

I hope you are being facetious as my response will surely spark another interminable thread as to the costs of marrying a RW


Car for her? My wife and I shared the one vehicle for the first four years. Neither of us is worse for wear. As for 16-year-olds, if they want a car they can always work to buy their own and then work to pay the insurance. Teaches responsibility.


Private schools? I confess, I don't know the American system. Our public schools in Canada are actually quite good.


As for vacations and trips back home, that depends on the woman, but should be discussed beforehand.

I mean seriously. I read one of your post where you mentioned you're about to go there for the Holidays and stated your flight route. Everything seem fine until you ask the forum if anyone know of a better route that could save you 200 bucks (?!?!). I say Happy Holidays!

I agree with Peter, if you can save $200, why not?

[Gator]

Like most men at my age, I spend considerable time meditating on the uncertainties and absence of guarantees that life offers. I can spend the rest of my time alone with these contemplations, or I can share them with a loved one.

I'll choose the latter.

Did you mean you would share the contemplations with a loved one?   Perhaps instead you intend to share life with a loved one and have so much fun that you forget about contemplations other than the annual tweaking of your estate plan.

[Gator]

I hope you are being facetious as my response will surely spark another interminable thread as to the costs of marrying a RW


Car for her? My wife and I shared the one vehicle for the first four years. Neither of us is worse for wear. As for 16-year-olds, if they want a car they can always work to buy their own and then work to pay the insurance. Teaches responsibility.


Private schools? I confess, I don't know the American system. Our public schools in Canada are actually quite good.


As for vacations and trips back home, that depends on the woman, but should be discussed beforehand.


I agree with Peter, if you can save $200, why not?

Agree 100% with Misha.
 
I would caution against promising annual trips back home.  Cost is a big reason, yet there are other considerations. 

[Muzh]

I hope you are being facetious as my response will surely spark another interminable thread as to the costs of marrying a RW


Car for her? My wife and I shared the one vehicle for the first four years. Neither of us is worse for wear. As for 16-year-olds, if they want a car they can always work to buy their own and then work to pay the insurance. Teaches responsibility.


Private schools? I confess, I don't know the American system. Our public schools in Canada are actually quite good.


As for vacations and trips back home, that depends on the woman, but should be discussed beforehand.


I agree with Peter, if you can save $200, why not?

LOL
 
Misha, I'll chime in.
 
My oldest son bought his own (used) car at 17 and my 16 yo daughter just bought her own (used) car. They both pay for their insurance. My son through his mother's and my daughter througn mine. I told my daughter not to hand me any money but to deposit it into my checking account. They are cool with that. Their friends find it cool. Even cooler than the other spoiled brats driving their brand new BMWs that mama or nana bought them.
 
Not to mention they are product of NYS public school systems.
 
All the other stuff is for those who are affluent.
 
Some people have this delusion that if you marry a woman from the former Soyuz you have to make at minimum a $100,000 a year. I made half of that when I married my wife AND I was taking care of my two children. Still chugging along after 12 years. Not bad for a guy dirt poor, eh?

[artisan5308]

She is a skilled driver but seems to have no interest in having her own car. I'll keep nurturing that. Gator, your spot on, it's best to just live happy adn leave the world exausted.

As for college education, Ksyusha has a higher degree (between BA and Masters) in linquistics. She is a big believer in practical education and life experience. Anna wants to work in the beauty profession. The boys, should they want college will have to do it the way I did, on their own dime.

My days of buying cars, paying insurances, cell phone bills for kids are over. I'll help them get there without footing the (whole) bill. What I will give them is plenty of love and attention and a good solid family enviorment to grow into useful adults, not succubus  off the government teet.

GIMME A "D"..........GIMME AN "A"..........GIMME A "D" ........WHAT DOES IT SPELL? GIMME-GIMME-GIMME LOL just a joke i heard recently

[GQBlues]

Hello GQ,
Being this is my fifth trip over to Ukraine in fifteen months, you bet I'm pinching pennies. I don't remember asking anybody if they could save me two hundred bucks. I asked if anybody knew of any carriers that may be cheaper, duh. Reading your profile, I can only gather that you haven't made any excursions of yet. Do you think that the costs end at the ticket counter? Believe me, there is plenty money to be spent. Me, I'd rather spend it on my lady and her family. You go fly business or  first if that suits you...

Really?!? Well, I'm glad you're the type to recognize that costs are far more encompassing that they appear. Like I said, more power to you and wish you lots of good fortune!
 

I hope you are being facetious as my response will surely spark another interminable thread as to the costs of marrying a RW

Be honest Misha since none of us is capable of walking on water so no need to BS anyone around. I know you like taking the position as though you're above everyone else....Bottom line is, how much do you think it cost YOU to get you wife from Russia, and what the additional cost was for you the first year? $10K? $15k? 500 bucks? How much?
 
The man is self-employed. Do you have any idea how much medical insurance alone will cost him? How much do you think his expenses will be to clothe 3 kids in addition to his wife? Please don't tell us your wife wore the same clothes for the first 4 years of your marriage, LOL.

The R/T ticket alone for the OP (one way will be as expensive or even more so) to get here is likely going to be 7,8-9 grand, no? Trips back home? Immigration papers/documentation? Do you know how much that costs?

Car for her? My wife and I shared the one vehicle for the first four years. Neither of us is worse for wear.

True. You certainly can 'share' a car, everyday for whatever reason (read Aloe's thread). Is this realistically true for everyone? If you live well within the city proper where public transporation is easily available, it's fine. if not, a totally different story. Unless you want to argue debate that as well. You and your wife didn't have any children. Different story for the OP, no?
 

As for 16-year-olds, if they want a car they can always work to buy their own and then work to pay the insurance. Teaches responsibility.

LOL, well unlike perfect families like the one Muzh has, where the kids even walked to the dealers on 3' of snow - uphill, after brushing their teeth in the morning and cleaning their bedrooms ( ) What a Brady Bunch of a family, eh? But the OP's 'kids' likely don't know who Greg is from Marsha despite knowing who Peter is...
 
Anyway, yes kids can buy their own cars and pay for the insurance fully themselves. Many AM kids do that, yes! Many AM kids do not.
 
So for the sake of keeping this on topic, what do you think the chances of a 16 year old kid from FSU doing so at such a relatively immediate time? Nah, she can take the bus to go to her university, which is likely within the year, more or less, she arrived, right?

Private schools? I confess, I don't know the American system.

Exactly. So why even coin anything at all?
 

Our public schools in Canada are actually quite good.

Yipee! I'm so very happy for you! The OP however is an American. So what's really your point?
 
How well do you think (not believe) a newly arrived FSU kids would mesh right into a public school system considering obvious language difficulties? You think maybe they ought to have *special* language tutors?

Of course charter schools are making huge headway in their academia lately, but the fact remains these kids won't exactly be the same as those already born into this system. At least not in the immediate future they arrive.
 

As for vacations and trips back home, that depends on the woman, but should be discussed beforehand.

Yup, they have. Read Option # 2. I'm sure the OP can convince his future wife, along with the 2 other kids to refrain from returning home anytime soon despite one kid is able to do so every summer, LOL. Yup, that's realistic.

I agree with Peter, if you can save $200, why not?

  If you keep reading this likely 2 more times, then you can snatch the pebble from my hand.  Lather, rinse, repeat. The point will not be missed.
 
 

[Misha]

Bottom line is, how much do you think it cost YOU to get you wife from Russia, and what the additional cost was for you the first year? $10K? $15k? 500 bucks? How much?

Cost of getting my wife to Canada? I didn't want to risk any problems so I paid $2,500 for a lawyer and less than $1,500 for airfare. As for additional cost the first year. Practically nothing. My wife had her clothes, we paid a couple hundred for travel insurance while her paperwork was being processed and there was a couple thousand at most in fees for applying for permanent residence. As I had to pay rent with or without a wife as well as heating, electricity, etc... these do not count. As for food, a minor increase, but I spent less on restaurants so I certainly saved. Also, given my wife's frugality, she helped me save money which means that in the greater scheme of things I certainly saved more than I spent.

Please don't tell us your wife wore the same clothes for the first 4 years of your marriage, LOL.

No, but I can't say either that my wife spends extravagantly on clothes. 

The R/T ticket alone for the OP (one way will be as expensive or even more so) to get here is likely going to be 7,8-9 grand, no?

When one-way tickets are more expensive than return tickets, most will buy the return fare   I flew to Moscow a couple weeks ago, tickets cost me a bit more than $800. Even if you have 4 people buying return tickets that will cost less than $4,000. We still have $96,000 to go go to reach your $100k 

Trips back home? Immigration papers/documentation? Do you know how much that costs?

Immigration: a one-time deal. Trips back home: my wife is happy to go home once a year, sometimes even less than that. Not every woman will be flying back every couple of months   If a woman has all her children in the USA, the incentive to return often will be lessened IMHO.
 

True. You certainly can 'share' a car, everyday for whatever reason (read Aloe's thread). Is this realistically true for everyone? If you live well within the city proper where public transporation is easily available, it's fine. if not, a totally different story. Unless you want to argue debate that as well. You and your wife didn't have any children. Different story for the OP, no?

If Peter works from home (an artisan), he may not need to use the family vehicle all that often and it would thus be easy for them to share the one vehicle.
 

LOL, well unlike perfect families like the one Muzh has, where the kids even walked to the dealers on 3' of snow - uphill, after brushing their teeth in the morning and cleaning their bedrooms ( ) What a Brady Bunch of a family, eh?

Mock if you will, but I would see it as an example to be followed and I am certain that many families do the same.

Anyway, yes kids can buy their own cars and pay for the insurance fully themselves. Many AM kids do that, yes! Many AM kids do not.

Yes, and it is up to the parents to make that decision. If Peter and a future wife decide to do the former, there is no reason for them to conform to the latter.
 

So for the sake of keeping this on topic, what do you think the chances of a 16 year old kid from FSU being one or the other at such a relatively immediate time?

I haven't the foggiest what you are asking. However, if the parents say no, then the children won't have much choice in the matter will they.

Yipee! I'm so very happy for you! The OP however is an American. So what's really your point?

Not all public schools are bad, even in the United States as Muzh affirmed, thus not all parents have to send their children to private school.
 

How well do you think (not believe) a newly arrived FSU kids would mesh right into a public school system considering obvious language difficulties? You think maybe they ought to have *special* language tutors?

With the help and support of their parents, it can be done.

Yup, they have. Read Option # 2. I'm sure the OP can convince her wife, along with the 2 other kids to refrain from returning home anytime soon despite one kid is able to do so every summer, LOL. Yup, that's realistic.

Again, every family is different, and as I noted it is something to be discussed. However, if one is flexible and looks for deals, it need not be that expensive.

If you keep reading this likely 2 more times, then you can snatch the pebble from my hand. Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

[Chicagoguy]

All potential expenses have been talked about and I believe all the scenarios discussed are possible. I want to return to medical costs. Health insurance for 3 children and a wife can be very, very high. And it if you work for yourself I would strongly recommend that you price this out ASAP.
If you have to go with no insurance, as I do with my wife, you should develop some sort of a backup plan. I pay cash now for doctors and get 50 % discount. If it is something serious she will fly back to Russia. I have posted before on this topic. $ 1000 airfare is about the cost of 1 day in a U.S. hospital.
4 years ago my wife at the time got very sick. Hospital bill was 1.2 million $. How would you like to open up that envelope ?

[GQBlues]

Cost of getting my wife to Canada? I didn't want to risk any problems so I paid $2,500 for a lawyer and less than $1,500 for airfare. As for additional cost the first year. Practically nothing. My wife had her clothes, we paid a couple hundred for travel insurance while her paperwork was being processed and there was a couple thousand at most in fees for applying for permanent residence. As I had to pay rent with or without a wife as well as heating, electricity, etc... these do not count. As for food, a minor increase, but I spent less on restaurants so I certainly saved. Also, given my wife's frugality, she helped me save money which means that in the greater scheme of things I certainly saved more than I spent.

So how much did you *think* the medical insurances will be?
 
LOL. The front expense alone cost you $6,500.00 and it doesn't even included any 'living expenses yet, much less 'buying her (+ 3 kids) medical insurance. To say the fact food was a minor increase is not being fortright. Maybe you do eat out less than you did before, but the times that you do, you're paying for two people; and when you stayed home to eat, there's two persons expending groceries.
 
You wife consumes either more or less than you, everyday, every week of every year. While the cost may vary, it invariably comes to a sum total of two people 'eating' everyday. Period.
 
I don't care how frugal you say your wife is, the truth of the matter is, there are now 2 people accruing living expenses every day, Misha. LOL. This is simple economics. Unless you somehow want us to believe the first year your wife's living expenses only cost you ten bucks, then I say croc!
 
You're being vague at best.

No, but I can't say that my wife spends extravagantly on clothes.

I don't care if anyone shopped Ross or Marshall, or even the Salvation Army - LOL - it will still cost monies. Cheaper clothes normally doesn't last long either, so I will leave that up for everyone else's consumption.

When one-way tickets are more expensive than return tickets, most will buy the return fare   I flew to Moscow a couple weeks ago, tickets cost me a bit more than $800. Even if you have 4 people buying return tickets that will cost less than $4,000. We still have $96,000 to go go to reach your $100k 

I thought that was only from Seattle?  What about the cost of getting to Seattle and back? Any accrued cost mid-trip? Transfer, snacks, visa, etc...?   

Immigration: a one-time deal. Trips back home: my wife is happy to go home once a year, sometimes even less than that. Not every woman will be flying back every couple of months   If a woman has all her children in the USA, the incentive to return often will be lessened IMHO.

Unless the OP files for a K3, the expense is more than one time for us. The K1, AOS, Removal of Condition, Citizenship $$$ Biometrics alone cost a nice sum for us, and they seem to need to take these almost at every turn.
 
So your wife is happy to return once a year. How much is the R/T ticket? How much money does she bring with her for the duration? Does she carry any gifts for her folks? How much do those cost? etc...

If Peter works from home (an artisan), he may not need to use the family vehicle all that often and it would thus be easy for them to share the one vehicle.....Mock if you will, but I would see it as an example to be followed and I am certain that many families do the same...Yes, and it is up to the parents to make that decision. If Peter and a future wife decide to do the former, there is no reason for them to conform to the latter.

First of all, I'm not mocking Muzh. This is the internet, you can be as perfect as you want to be  So mocking is unnecessary and pointless.

 
Nope. You've completely dismissed the parameters I layed out. If public transportation is readily available, that's fine. If not, then a one vehicle household of 5, with a teenager, is hardly realistic.
 

I haven't the foggiest what you are asking. However, if the parents say no, then the children won't have much choice in the matter will they.

I asked, what do you think the chances of a 16 year old newly arrived from FSU to get a job that would pay her enough to purchase her own car and insurance? She's 16 now, likely by the time she arrives here, she's likely closer to 18... University age. That'll just complicate things even more because she can't possibly work long enough to make the money she needs to earn to get her own car while attending school for higher learning.
 
So, what do you think the OP is likely to do? See her through university, or see her work instead so she can *pay* for her own car? Maybe he'll give her the lone family car, eh?
 
 

Not all public schools are bad, even in the United States as Muzh affirmed, thus not all parents have to send their children to private school.
 
With the help and support of their parents, it can be done.

...and not all private schools are attended only by the elite. The fact is Misha, the kids will likely, at the VERY least, require special tutoring due largely because of their language learning stage. Children require special attention and believe it or not, they do cost more than a penny and it doesn't matter how frugal the OP's future wife is.

Again, every family is different, and as I noted it is something to be discussed. However, if one is flexible and looks for deals, it need not be that expensive.

 
So, throw in an amount. Let's see, the OP will spend the night at the airport just so he can save 200 bucks on a flight route, so give me an example how cheap can we get these family of 4 to go back home once a year?

[pitbull]

Artisan,

If you are self employed, you'll have to buy individual insurance for your wife and kids. Depending on their health, over $5K monthly. This cost alone would sink most families. Have you thought this through?

No need for private school, public schools have ESL classes and specialists, the kids should integrate fast.

You mentioned that your fiancee is a linguist, is her speciality English? In any case, looks like she will need to work for your family to scrape by. You need to discuss this with her upfront. It seems like the best option for her is to find a job that provides health insurance - this would be you most important issue to cover.

Yep, things like trips to Disney World and iPods are not in those kids' future.

[Misha]

So how much did you *think* the medical insurances will be?
 
LOL. The front expense alone cost you $6,500.00 and it doesn't even included any 'living expenses yet, much less 'buying her (+ 3 kids) medical insurance.

Sure, but somehow many American families manage to buy insurance.

To say the fact food was a minor increase is not being fortright. Maybe you do eat out less than you did before, but the times that you do, you're paying for two people; and when you stayed home to eat, there's two persons expending groceries. You wife consumes either more or less than you, everyday, every week of every year. While the cost may vary, it invariably comes to a sum total of two people 'eating' everyday. Period.

I keep track of all my expenses. This year, I averaged $370.59 per month for groceries and alcohol and $160.97 for all the times that we dined out or bought coffee or whatever during the month. Even if my wife accounted for 40% of all the food that was eaten (likely less, but I won't quibble) that works out to $212.62 per month. Hardly enough to send me to the poorhouse Many will spend this much on a night out on the town I wager
 

I don't care how frugal you say your wife is, the truth of the matter is, there are now 2 people accruing living expenses every day, Misha. LOL. This is simple economics. Unless you somehow want us to believe the first year your wife's living expenses only cost you ten bucks, then I say croc!

Again, my wife is quite frugal, and keeps me from wasting money. The money that I save because of this, largely compensates what little extra I pay for food or clothes.

You're being vague at best.
I don't care if anyone shopped Ross or Marshall, or even the Salvation Army - LOL - it will still cost monies. Cheaper clothes normally doesn't last long either, so I will leave that up for everyone else's consumption.

These past years, our spending on clothing averages between $100 and $140 per month. Again, not enough to break the bank either.

I thought that was only from Seattle?  What about the cost of getting to Seattle and back? Any accrued cost mid-trip? Transfer, snacks, visa, etc...? 

We are discussing Peter who lives in the USA. As he lives I believe on the East Coast, he could easily find cheaper flights than from Seattle. If you avoid taxis and take food from home when you can for snacks, it does not cost that much for everything else.

Unless the OP files for a K3, the expense is more than one time for us. The K1, AOS, Removal of Condition, Citizenship $$$ Biometrics alone cost a nice sum for us, and they seem to need to take these almost at every turn.

Still does not add up to $100,000...

So your wife is happy to return once a year. How much is the R/T ticket? How much money does she bring with her for the duration? Does she carry any gifts for her folks? How much do those cost? etc...

My wife did not return for over two years after arriving in Canada. As for gifts, she also buys useful, but not necessarily extravagant gifts. For this last trip, she spent less than $200 on all gifts.

Nope. You've completely dismissed the parameters I layed out. If public transportation is readily available, that's fine. If not, then a one vehicle household of 5, with a teenager, is hardly realistic.

Why? It just takes planning.
 

I asked, what do you think the chances of a 16 year old newly arrived from FSU to get a job that would pay her enough to purchase her own car and insurance? She's 16 now, likely by the time she arrives here, she's likely closer to 18... University age. That'll just complicate things even more because she can't possibly work long enough to make the money she needs to earn to get her own car while attending school for higher learning.

Since when is a car a necessity. I did not buy a car before going to university and lived in residence while studying. Did not buy a car until I graduated.
 

So, what do you think the OP is likely to do? See her through university, or see her work instead so she can *pay* for her own car? Maybe he'll give her the lone family car, eh?

Bicycles, buses, etc... There are many other forms of transportation. I rode the school bus every day until I graduated high school. Did not kill me. True, I had to stay at home after school and weekends, because I did not have a car, but my parents did not see that as a bad thing  
 

...and not all private schools are attended only by the elite. The fact is Misha, the kids will likely, at the VERY least, require special tutoring due largely because of their language learning stage. Children require special attention and believe it or not, they do cost more than a penny and it doesn't matter how frugal the OP's future wife is.

Pitbull addresses this nicely.

So, throw in an amount. Let's see, the OP will spend the night at the airport just so he can save 200 bucks on a flight route, so give me an example how cheap can we get these family of 4 to go back home once a year?

Again, where is it written that all four must go back to the FSU every year? I have a friend, a Russian woman, who has never been back in over 12 years. Now, she has plenty of money, and could go every month if she wanted to, but she prefers Hawaii and Disneyland for some reason 

[Gator]

If you are self employed, you'll have to buy individual insurance for your wife and kids. Depending on their health, over $5K monthly. This cost alone would sink most families. Have you thought this through?

Is this what Obamacare has done?
 
When married in 2008-2009 I purchased health insurance for my three Russian dependents for about $1,000 per month IIRC.  It was a special policy from Blue Cross / Blue Shield.  I had to pay the first $10,000 of medical costs per person ($20,000 maximum for the family).  After that threshold, all costs were covered on a 80-20 (20 was me) basis up to $2 million total.  In effect I was self insured except for major illnesses/accidents.

[Gator]

Many will spend this much on a night out on the town I wager

And more, but not frequently.  Everyone is different.
 

  Again, my wife is quite frugal, and keeps me from wasting money. 

I never enjoyed frugal women because I can be a cheap tightass if not encouraged by women.  I shop at BJs (Costco equivalent) and purchase my clothes mostly at Steinmart and Brooks Brothers Outlet.  Like many RW, I try to buy high quality even if limits the quantity of my purchases.  My handmade English shoes cost over $400; however, they wear very well and stay in style so I have not had to buy a new pair in 20 years. 
 
Golf shoes and apparel.    That's another matter but I usually have enough tournament winnings to make a big dent in the total expense. 
 
Earlier I made a joke about Jamaican lifestyle.  In all seriousness, Jamaicans outside the big tourist areas are a happy lot.  You can learn to live within your means and still have a lot of fun.

[Misha]

Like many RW, I try to buy high quality even if limits the quantity of my purchases. 

We do the same. However, you can buy in a quality store when it is on sale. My wife buys decent quality, but she always makes sure that what she buys will match one or more other pieces of clothing.

[GQBlues]

For the exercise, I'll use most of your sampling to its bare minimum:
 
Since I filed K1, and assuming so would the OP, then I'll cite what their approximate costs will be. He can file for I-130 instead of I-129f/I-130, but there will be add cost for him going there to do so...
 
Visas/Medical              $ 2,000.00
Tickets (OP's x 4)        $  3,360.00
AOS, (765), AP            $ 4,000.00
Food (yours x4)           $10,200.00
Clothes (yours x4)        $ 6,800.00
Insurance (Gator's x 4)  $ 16,000.00 (hope no one requires to spend that 10K deductible)
Dental (kids visits?)       $ 1,000.00 (?) 
One kid trip visit            $1,100.00   
 
Add all these up, it totals to almost $44,500.00. That's bare minimum according to your information. They all stayed home the entire year. No entertainment, no vacation, zip, nada.
No toys, hobbies, activities, no PUBLIC schools related expense, zip, nada.
No road trips, no gas used to zip here and there for whatever reason, zip, nada.
No expense for wedding, no goodbye celebration expense, zip, nada.
No additional car, insurance, gas zip, nada.
 
 
So you can be as cute and frugal you'd wanna be and try to make this reality out to be the way you'd like Misha, but the 44G exercise above to the high number I cited of 125 - or somewhere in between is the OP's reality. And everyone else can ask themselves where their respective reality is.
 
...or one can take ML's Bloomberg estimate, divided by 18 years - multiplied by 3 accordingly by their respective years: $226,000/18= 12,600/child x 3 = $37,800. Now add visa cost plus Mumski's expense, plus tickets, etc...
 
...or, for a 3rd sampling, Gator can tell us exactly how much he spent with his ex-wife plus two kids their first year here. Divide that by 3 then multiplied by 4.
 
Suit yourself.