New member and I have no Idea as to what I am doing

[bjstorm69]

I AM RETIRED BECAUSE I TOOK A BUYOUT AFTER MY DIVOUCE.  I WAS UNABLE TO WORK AND IT TOOK ME 5 YEARS TO GET MY HEAD SCREWED ON STRAIGHT.  I AM 42 YEARS OLD NOW AND USE BJSTORM69 ON EVERTHING ON THE INTERNET BECAUSE IT IS MY NAME AND AGE, WHICH MAKES IT EASY FOR ME TO REMEMBER.  I HAVE MANY DEGREES AND THOUGHT THAT RUSSIAN WOMEN WERE PERHAPS THE MOST EDUCATED WOMEN IN THE WORLD.  I JOINED A SITE CALLED TAGGED AND CHATTED WITH REAL PHILIPEAN WOMEN AND THEY ARE VERY NICE, BUT LACK THE EDUCATIONAL STANDARDS HERE AND HAVE A FEW OTHER DIFFERENCES IN CULTURE.  AGE IS NOT IMPORTANT TO ME, NOR DO I SEEK A WOMAN THAT IS A GODDESS, I JUST WANT A PARTNER IN LIFE.  MY RESEACH THUS FAR HAS BEEN FUTILE, THAT IS WHY I JOINED THIS SITE.  I WOULD GUESS AN AGE BETWEEN 30 AND 50 WOULD BE CORRECT, BUT ALL OF THE SITES I HAVE BEEN ON MAKE THESE GIRLS LOOK LIKE MODELS.  WHY WOULD A 24 YEAR OLD WRITE TO ME?  ALSO, I LIVE IN GRAND BLANC, MI.  RUSSIAN SEEMS SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL THEN HERE, WHY WOULD THESE WOMEN WANT TO COME HERE?  ALL I HAVE READ IS THAT THE MEN IN RUSSIA ARE DRINKERS AND BAD FATHERS?  VERY CONFUSING.  I DROPPED THE TAGGED MEMEBERSHIP BECAUSE OF ALL THE SCAMMERS AND HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR REAL ANSWERS.   I NET 2200 A MONTH AND HAVE OTHER FORMS OF INCOME AND HAVE EVERYTHING PAID FOR.  I DIDN'T REALIZE ALL OF THE OTHER COSTS ASSOCIATED WITH THIS VENTURE.  I AM 5'11", 190 LBS AND I AM IN GREAT SHAPE.  I LEAD AN ADVENTEROUS LIFE AND THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GREAT ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME.  I REALLY LIKE ALL OF THE COMMINTS, BUT THERE SEEMS TO BE ALOT OF PERSONAL SCRAPING GOING ON HERE.  YES, I COULD AFFORD A $5000 TRIP, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW OF THE OTHER EXPENSES.  SO I GUESS THIS IS NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA.  THIS  HAS BEEN THE ONLY PLACE THAT I HAVE FOUND REAL QUESTIONS TO MY ANSWERS, SO A VERY BIG THANKS TO ALL OF YOU THAT SPENT TIME AND EFFORT EDUCATING ME HERE.  IT IS SO VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.
BRIAN STORM

[Ade]

And I guess that caps lock of yours is stuck, right?

[Turboguy]

Perhaps we can change you handle to NoCapsLock69.   
 
Way, way back I corresponded with some ladies from the Philippines as well.  I do agree with you.  Filipino women have a lot of great qualities but the level of education with RW is much higer.  Most of the RW I met were very intelligent and the one I married is one of the smartest women I have met in her life.  She married me or I would say "the" smartest.
 
The first thing I will correct in what you said is that all Russian men are drinkers and bad fathers.  There are some wonderful husbands and fathers among Russian men who seldom drink.  There may not be enough of those to go around however.  RW are much better than American women at looking for a mate who is a good person and will be a good husband than American women are.  Some will place a lot less emphasis on the man being handsome (not referring to anything personal or in your photo, you look fine)   I am quite sure that many men have tried and succeded at this living in places that were no different than you live in.
 
I would suggest if you decide to persue this that you might want to do some photos with a little less casual clothing.  I am not suggesting an Armoni suit but a slight upgrade would have better results.
 
As far as if you can afford it that is your call.  I have to wonder a bit since you are very educated, do you have a physical disability that keeps you from working or is it just a personal choice?
 
 
 

[bjstorm69]

NO MY CAPS LOCKS IS NOT STUCK, JUST EASIER TO TYPE FOR ME.  I developed PTSD and have been dealing with that.  Not working a 9 to 5 is my choice.  I do legal and engineering work on the side, but all my time and money is currently wrapped up in renovating my house.  I felt that a casual look was good for the forum as to the stuff I do, but here is a picture with longer hair........I look like a mobster though.  On the part of bad Russian Husbands, that is what all the girls that I chatted with said, but I also kept in mind that these girls were mostly scammers and that they had bad intentions....
thanks again
brian storm

see, i used alot less capitol letters to save cyberspace ink.....yahoo for the environment.

[Slumba]

Personally Brian, I would say you have a pretty good chance. 

Be sure your head is screwed on straight, develop a list of what the girl you are looking for should be like, and I think you will be OK.  Concerning the cash issue, well, you have to decide for yourself what to do.

[Gator]

I AM RETIRED BECAUSE I TOOK A BUYOUT AFTER MY DIVOUCE.  I WAS UNABLE TO WORK AND IT TOOK ME 5 YEARS TO GET MY HEAD SCREWED ON STRAIGHT.   

5 years!  You took a severe mental beating!  Yet, it sounds as if you now wish to marry again and not live alone. 
 
 

SO I GUESS THIS IS NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

Only you can make that decision.
 
 
You are justifiably concerned with the costs of marrying a RW.  You have received much information about the cost of a trip and the cost of marrying a RW.  Keep this in mind - after a RW wife becomes settled, supporting her will probably cost less than an AW because RW typically have a good work ethic and have learned to live on less.  There are many exceptions so please know the woman you marry. 
 
You need to start working again for three reasons:   
 
1) Productive work is good for the soul. 
2) 37-yo is too young to stop working and will be a mental and financial problem as you grow older.
3) $2200/mo net is not enough to support a family, RW or AW, IMO.
 
 
You seem to be an outdoorsy person.  There are plenty of RW with the same philosophy.  They do not live in the big cities. 

[GQBlues]

...I felt that a casual look was good for the forum as to the stuff I do, but here is a picture with longer hair........I look like a mobster though....

:::::Godfather soundtrack playing in the background:::::

"Now listen: I want somebody good -- and I mean very good -- to plant that gun. I don't want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hands, alright?"  Sonny


LOL, love that line, man.
 
So Brian...what's up with the striped pleated trousers, man? Pleats are a throw back from the '80s. Had you been in the mob, they'd put a contract on you day one for that blasphemy.    Flat front, body fit pants would look a lot better on you!
 
Thanks for the update tho and do stick around.

[bjstorm69]

My philosophy for finances are that all bill are only 25% of your monthly income.  Utilities, taxes, car insurance, the big stuff.  I bought my 1500 sq foot house on 5 acers for a song, so I have been able to keep costs down.  I really enjoy renovating my house and have taken every step possible to make it female compliant.  The house has 3 BR, 2bthr, and 1BR, 1bthr in a full basement.  I don't care if my future wife has no children or a whole litter.  Children are easy and enjoyable for me.  As to retirement, I have to many skills and will never work for idiots again.  An 80% pay cut was a bit difficult, but hey, I am 42 and retired!  I can work when I want and do what I want, that is truly freedom.  My main problem in life is that I am unbalanced in work and play, I am too aggressive at both and I need a woman that can keep up with me.  I can cook, clean, and do all the domestic stuff, I seek a partner not a maid.  It would be nice is she was my height so I don't have to adjust the seat vehicles.......Just kidding, 4 ft to 6 ft and ambitions.  I didn't think that was much to ask for, but it has proven to be quite difficult.  On a seperate note, I know of other gentlemen that have married Phillipean and Thailand women and the costs are extremely different from what I am understanding here.  The paperwork is under $1000 and all physicals and paper is mainly done at the U.S. Embassy of that country.  I am still trying to understand the costs associated with RW.  ANd yes, I took one hell of a beating in my marriage......to hell with counselors saying that love will conquer all.......Doesn't fix mental health, alcoholism, and drug addiction.....That my friends is truly hell on earth and as far as I am concerned, NO CURE!
thanks for the advice
Brian storm
Picture of the best time ever.......cross country enduro trials

[JR]

:::::Godfather soundtrack playing in the background:::::

"Now listen: I want somebody good -- and I mean very good -- to plant that gun. I don't want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hands, alright?"  Sonny


LOL, love that line, man.
 
So Brian...what's up with the striped pleated trousers, man? Pleats are a throw back from the '80s. Had you been in the mob, they'd put a contract on you day one for that blasphemy.    Flat front, body fit pants would look a lot better on you!
 
Thanks for the update tho and do stick around.

LOLOL, I was thinking the same thing, Italian mafia!! Brian, you're not ugly but get a woman to help you get some new clothes ))) Nothing really really wrong (at least it's not a shirtless bathroom phots taken with a cell phone)))) but to really stand out you should get a woman's input.

[dogspot]

 $20,000 is about what it cost me. I made 6 trips between June 2008 and July 2010 and now wake up every morning next to the most amazing woman in the world. This $20,000 would also include the filing fee for K-1 ($485) and the AOS, EAD, AP package ($1090), which you no longer have to pay for separately.

My wife arrived here with $5000 she managed to save during the 9 months we were apart during the K-1 process. She used this money to purchase new clothes, a new (used) car, and all the other stuff women need when arriving to their new home. I probably spent another $1500 on furniture for our new flat here in San Diego.

I make a decent salary and we were able to live comfortably for the first 6 months and then things started getting tight. My wife found a well paying professional job just six months after her arrival and we are now able to build the savings back up for trips back to Russia (planning to go for 4 weeks in December) and a car upgrade (her 1998 Avalon is a very nice driving car but she is going to need something a little more plush).

When I initially began this experiment 4 years ago, folks were saying that one should have $20,000 in savings and earn a salary >$60,000/year. Although I earn less than 60k and had almost nothing in savings at the beginning, I think in most cases this advice is pretty accurate. I found that earning $55k per year AND paying for trips on the fly left me with very little between trips. I also didn’t have but a couple thousand in savings by the time my wife arrived. Had my wife not found a good paying job as soon as she did, we would be scraping.

Besides money, time is equally as critical. If you can’t get away a few times a year to travel over there, you probably shouldn’t bother. You’re going to want to make more than one or two trips over before you file for a fiancé visa, and you’ll likely not find “the one” on your first attempt. You also don’t want to wait too long between trips as you run the risk of growing apart or losing interest. Remember: if she’s a keeper, she will have plenty of other suitors.

In the end, I got REALLY lucky. I dodged a bullet with the first woman I was with, married an absolute gem of a woman, played my cards right and was actually able to pull this off with almost nothing in savings, a period of unemployment (I was laid off late 2009), and a job that barely pays enough to provide for 3 (my wife, son and I live in San Diego = high cost of living). Now we live quite comfortably with very little concern about money.

One other thing to keep in mind: I married a woman who speaks excellent English and has the equivalent of an MBA and a Masters in Electrical Engineering. Remember when I said I played my cards right? One might say I just had a stroke of good luck.

[TheTraveler]

My philosophy for finances are that all bill are only 25% of your monthly income.  Utilities, taxes, car insurance, the big stuff.

do you have health insurance?

to hell with counselors saying that love will conquer all.......Doesn't fix mental health, alcoholism, and drug addiction.....That my friends is truly hell on earth and as far as I am concerned, NO CURE!

were the drug and alcohol and mental health problems your ex wife's?

[Patagonie]

NO MY CAPS LOCKS IS NOT STUCK, JUST EASIER TO TYPE FOR ME.  I developed PTSD and have been dealing with that.  Not working a 9 to 5 is my choice.  I do legal and engineering work on the side, but all my time and money is currently wrapped up in renovating my house.  I felt that a casual look was good for the forum as to the stuff I do, but here is a picture with longer hair........I look like a mobster though.  On the part of bad Russian Husbands, that is what all the girls that I chatted with said, but I also kept in mind that these girls were mostly scammers and that they had bad intentions....
thanks again
brian storm

see, i used alot less capitol letters to save cyberspace ink.....yahoo for the environment.

Better of course but the throuser is too long and the tie adjusted a little too short

[Patagonie]

$20,000 is about what it cost me. I made 6 trips between June 2008 and July 2010 and now wake up every morning next to the most amazing woman in the world. This $20,000 would also include the filing fee for K-1 ($485) and the AOS, EAD, AP package ($1090), which you no longer have to pay for separately.

My wife arrived here with $5000 she managed to save during the 9 months we were apart during the K-1 process. She used this money to purchase new clothes, a new (used) car, and all the other stuff women need when arriving to their new home. I probably spent another $1500 on furniture for our new flat here in San Diego.

I make a decent salary and we were able to live comfortably for the first 6 months and then things started getting tight. My wife found a well paying professional job just six months after her arrival and we are now able to build the savings back up for trips back to Russia (planning to go for 4 weeks in December) and a car upgrade (her 1998 Avalon is a very nice driving car but she is going to need something a little more plush).

When I initially began this experiment 4 years ago, folks were saying that one should have $20,000 in savings and earn a salary >$60,000/year. Although I earn less than 60k and had almost nothing in savings at the beginning, I think in most cases this advice is pretty accurate. I found that earning $55k per year AND paying for trips on the fly left me with very little between trips. I also didn’t have but a couple thousand in savings by the time my wife arrived. Had my wife not found a good paying job as soon as she did, we would be scraping.

Besides money, time is equally as critical. If you can’t get away a few times a year to travel over there, you probably shouldn’t bother. You’re going to want to make more than one or two trips over before you file for a fiancé visa, and you’ll likely not find “the one” on your first attempt. You also don’t want to wait too long between trips as you run the risk of growing apart or losing interest. Remember: if she’s a keeper, she will have plenty of other suitors.

In the end, I got REALLY lucky. I dodged a bullet with the first woman I was with, married an absolute gem of a woman, played my cards right and was actually able to pull this off with almost nothing in savings, a period of unemployment (I was laid off late 2009), and a job that barely pays enough to provide for 3 (my wife, son and I live in San Diego = high cost of living). Now we live quite comfortably with very little concern about money.

One other thing to keep in mind: I married a woman who speaks excellent English and has the equivalent of an MBA and a Masters in Electrical Engineering. Remember when I said I played my cards right? One might say I just had a stroke of good luck.

I think dogspot gave you a good picture when things are going right, no time wasted, good english knowledge BEFORE she came, previous wife job easily usable in US, and search hits from the scratch... a lucky man, as he says himself.

[JR]

$20,000 is about what it cost me. I made 6 trips between June 2008 and July 2010 and now wake up every morning next to the most amazing woman in the world. This $20,000 would also include the filing fee for K-1 ($485) and the AOS, EAD, AP package ($1090), which you no longer have to pay for separately.

My wife arrived here with $5000 she managed to save during the 9 months we were apart during the K-1 process. She used this money to purchase new clothes, a new (used) car, and all the other stuff women need when arriving to their new home. I probably spent another $1500 on furniture for our new flat here in San Diego.

I make a decent salary and we were able to live comfortably for the first 6 months and then things started getting tight. My wife found a well paying professional job just six months after her arrival and we are now able to build the savings back up for trips back to Russia (planning to go for 4 weeks in December) and a car upgrade (her 1998 Avalon is a very nice driving car but she is going to need something a little more plush).

When I initially began this experiment 4 years ago, folks were saying that one should have $20,000 in savings and earn a salary >$60,000/year. Although I earn less than 60k and had almost nothing in savings at the beginning, I think in most cases this advice is pretty accurate. I found that earning $55k per year AND paying for trips on the fly left me with very little between trips. I also didn’t have but a couple thousand in savings by the time my wife arrived. Had my wife not found a good paying job as soon as she did, we would be scraping.

Besides money, time is equally as critical. If you can’t get away a few times a year to travel over there, you probably shouldn’t bother. You’re going to want to make more than one or two trips over before you file for a fiancé visa, and you’ll likely not find “the one” on your first attempt. You also don’t want to wait too long between trips as you run the risk of growing apart or losing interest. Remember: if she’s a keeper, she will have plenty of other suitors.

In the end, I got REALLY lucky. I dodged a bullet with the first woman I was with, married an absolute gem of a woman, played my cards right and was actually able to pull this off with almost nothing in savings, a period of unemployment (I was laid off late 2009), and a job that barely pays enough to provide for 3 (my wife, son and I live in San Diego = high cost of living). Now we live quite comfortably with very little concern about money.

One other thing to keep in mind: I married a woman who speaks excellent English and has the equivalent of an MBA and a Masters in Electrical Engineering. Remember when I said I played my cards right? One might say I just had a stroke of good luck.

Very nice DoggySpot, ver nice indeed. I like it when someone comes along and blows a hole in the 100k a yr or stay at home mentality. It can be done for less if you have the right woman, proper priorities and keep your debt level low.
Best of luck to you and your tribe !!!

[Ade]

Very nice DoggySpot, ver nice indeed. I like it when someone comes along and blows a hole in the 100k a yr or stay at home mentality. It can be done for less if you have the right woman, proper priorities and keep your debt level low.
Best of luck to you and your tribe !!!

Yes, but he was very lucky and it still cost him $20K by the time he got her home. Not to mention all those other expenses once she arrived. I think it's unusual for a RW to get a good paying, professional level job within the first year too. Medical insurance seems like it could be a huge sticking point with bjs too...

[Manny]

The thing is, it is foolish to make one trip and choose a woman like you would choose a new sofa. As with any relationship, it needs to develop. The best way to do that is face to face. And that means multiple trips if you want to get it right. I think $4k is a pretty conservative cost of a trip for an average bloke who likes home comforts. But, its more than trips. Its all the extra stuff that eats money: dental, health insurances, visas, wardrobe upgrades, wedding, drivers licence, etc. The list goes on.

I agree that $20k would be an absolute minimum. However, if you look at the time scale that covers up to say six months after she arrives, if you approached this sensibly and made multiple trips, you could easily double or treble that as GOB suggested.

Remember also that you might make a few trips and meet women who you don't really hit it off with in person. Then you need to start over each time.

[Turboguy]

I have always felt there were no absolute rules on who can and can't afford it.  I think there are tons of guys making 40-60 thousand who can easily afford it and lots of guys making $ 100,000 that can't possibly afford it.  The biggest variable will likely be where someone lives and what their housing situation is as well as how much debt they have.
 
I spent 15 years and $ 125-150,000 on this most of the time making something in the "can't afford it range" 
 
I also think the costs after marriage will vary a lot from woman to woman.  I don't think I spend much more now that I am married then I did single, actually I probably spend a lot less.  You have fewer trips to the FSU,  You may eat more home cooked meals than restaurant meals, and you don't have the costs of dating. 

[GoodOlBoy]

I think it's unusual for a RW to get a good paying, professional level job within the first year too.

GOB agrees with you SJ.
I also think it is irresponsible to give any newbies out there the idea that this may be the "norm".
 
A RW landing a professional level job within the first year upon arrival to the GoodOl' USA?!?!?....... This is very unusual!
 
GOB

[Lily]

GOB agrees with you SJ.
I also think it is irresponsible to give any newbies out there the idea that this may be the "norm".
 
A RW landing a professional level job within the first year upon arrival to the GoodOl' USA?!?!?....... This is very unusual!
 
GOB

Don't exaggerate guys. How do you think all the independent professional immigrants in Canada find jobs? Yes it is not easy, but many of them still land a job in their new country within some months.

The U.S. should be even less problematic in this respect, because the number of immigrants is not as big as in Canada. The American society does not have this type of 'shield' against the internationally qualified professionals.

It all depends on the newcomer and on her profession. And don't discount just pure luck

[GoodOlBoy]

The biggest variable will likely be where someone lives and what their housing situation is as well as how much debt they have.

Yes TG I agree.
There is something else that GOB doesn't feel there is enough attention paid to by some newbies embarking on this venture.
 
I am referring to our members who are still paying for children from previous marriages (relationships).
This is an additional expense that can put a serious drain on the average household.
 
I can't begin to tell you how many RW Marina and I have met who came to the GoodOl' USA to marry their "white knight"    and they didn't even remotely understand how our child support system really works and how much it will impact their marriage.
 
Sadly, due to the "support" situation in the FSU, I believe that our concept of serious mandatory support for children from previous relations is completely foreign to RW.
 
Unfortunately, only after their arrival do they (RW) actually see and begin to understand how this economical drain can affect her and her childs (if she brings one) future.
 
GOB

[wicheese]

Don't exaggerate guys. How do you think all the independent professional immigrants in Canada find jobs? Yes it is not easy, but many of them still land a job in their new country within some months.

Lily,


There is a big difference between coming to the country on an F1 vs. a business (or regular immigrant) visa.  In your case, you were able to work right away so after a short period of time to get adjusted, you can jump into the labor force.  Compare that to my wife, she arrived at the end of October, we got married in November (filed for adjustment of status right after), now in January we received a letter that her file has been transferred to the CA professing center which means we still might be 4 months out from an interview (so it might be close to seven months before she'll even be able to legally look for work).  Oh, to complicate the move, something you probably did not need to deal with, but in my state they only issue drivers license if you have a valid visa, so despite the fact she had her local license within two weeks of arriving, it has now expired and she'll not be able to get a new one until the AOS process is over.  So, for someone to get a good professional job in under a year after arriving on an F1 visa, either a lot of things need to break your direction or you need to have the right connections.  BTW, my wife had worked for several of the worlds top companies in high level positions prior to coming here and despite her good resume, we would be very happy if she could land a job close to what she had in Moscow, especially in today's economy (that's with already being a fluent English speaker).

[ML]

. . . but in my state they only issue drivers license if you have a valid visa, so despite the fact she had her local license within two weeks of arriving, it has now expired . . .

I don't understand.

How can a license expire in such a short period of time?

And why would she need a visa after marriage?

[Lily]

   So, for someone to get a good professional job in under a year after arriving on an F1 visa, either a lot of things need to break your direction or you need to have the right connections.   

So your point would be her legal status. Please correct me if I am wrong, but is it usual for foreign brides to arrive on a K visa and after marriage to adjust their status with a full right to work in the U.S.? isn't the F1 visa a student visa, is it?

Of course professional networking is paramount everywhere in the new country, but this is exactly what has to be done in order to establish herself professionally. And yes, the place of living matters. Someone from a big city would likely have not an easy way to find a job in a small town environment, where there are few professional jobs at all.

[Misha]

A RW landing a professional level job within the first year upon arrival to the GoodOl' USA?!?!?....... This is very unusual!

I agree. In many professions, notably the medical professions, she will have to go through a lengthy (re)certification process that will last more than a year. Other professionals will invariably have to spend time forging new networks and making contacts.

[BillyB]

I am retired and have limited income, so this may be an unrealistic venture for me.  Can anyone give me a general Low ball price and tell me what direction to go, this would be greatly appreciated!

The biggest danger for you is that you may pressure yourself to marry the first woman you choose to visit. Regardless on what you spend, be prepared to walk away if something is wrong with her. You marry the wrong woman, you lose much more money and time which is even more valuable.
 
When communicating with RW, eventually let them in on your financial status so it's very clear to all of them what life will be like if they choose you. To your benefit you may even scare away a few gold diggers during correspondence. Before visiting any woman, get on the phone with her a lot. If you don't have any productive phone calls her, you shouldn't spend $4000 on a first date.