why girls like men who treat them like bad?

[Misha]

Misha, many extremely attractive ladies I've met have been extremely insecure.

Yes, and when I think of Alpha women, I think of Margaret Thatcher or Condoleezza Rice or other such women that are not necessarily always the most attractive but can often hold their own against any Alpha male 

[Patagonie]

That makes more sense. In my understanding, the most attractive women are not necessarily have an alpha personality.

   
      Absolutely, Muzh is also right.
   
      An alpha is a leader, by his natural leadership, his charisma. He owns his personality and is capable to recognize and live with all dualities. He has two mains assets : self esteem and confidence in himself. Don't make confusion with PUA. A guy can be an alpha but not a PUA and reciprocally. he asserts himself but without compel on anyone.

[BC]

Forbidden fruit has always been desirable.

That's why I rarely if ever tell our daughter that one of her suitors is a bad boy as that will surely peak her interests.

Especially when young, it's all about rebellion.

Think about it.

[Gator]

Just need the definition- what is "treat them like bad"?
"Like" how?

You need to think "bad boy" and not "bad man." 
 
Basically he does what he wants to do when he wants to do it, regardless of the consequences.   He does not care about the feelings of others.  He is not afraid of anyone and he disrespects authority.  He does not look for trouble yet does not shy away from it even if it involves fighting.   You are never sure about how he makes his money; in fact, it could be the result of something illegal.
 
How does he treat you?  You have made plans with your Bad Boy for Saturday evening.  You look really good in your new dress.  He does not show up, and he calls a few hours later.   He lies about his excuse because he is hiding the truth that he was partying and having sex with a Gothic girl laden with piercings, who he just met at a friend's pad.  You hang up.  On Monday he calls and sweet talks you into meeting him.  He is nice and attentive to you.  You have sex, a little rough but still wonderful and all is forgiven.  On Thursday you call him because he has not called you.  He is sweet at first, but when you nag him about something he did, he answers you as if you are a piece of shit.  On Friday he comes by to see you, and he is really nice.  Instead of sex he explains why he needs to borrow money from you without explaining why he needs it,  As you hand him the money, you wonder if he will repay you.  Etc., etc. etc.

[Doll]

You need to think "bad boy" and not "bad man." 
 
Basically he does what he wants to do when he wants to do it, regardless of the consequences.   He does not care about the feelings of others.  He is not afraid of anyone and he disrespects authority.  He does not look for trouble yet does not shy away from it even if it involves fighting.   You are never sure about how he makes his money; in fact, it could be the result of something illegal.
 
How does he treat you?  You have made plans with your Bad Boy for Saturday evening.  You look really good in your new dress.  He does not show up, and he calls a few hours later.   He lies about his excuse because he is hiding the truth that he was partying and having sex with a Gothic girl laden with piercings, who he just met at a friend's pad.  You hang up.  On Monday he calls and sweet talks you into meeting him.  He is nice and attentive to you.  You have sex, a little rough but still wonderful and all is forgiven.  On Thursday you call him because he has not called you.  He is sweet at first, but when you nag him about something he did, he answers you as if you are a piece of shit.  On Friday he comes by to see you, and he is really nice.  Instead of sex he explains why he needs to borrow money from you without explaining why he needs it,  As you hand him the money, you wonder if he will repay you.  Etc., etc. etc.

You're talking of control freaks))) which is actually a borderline personality disorder.
How do you know what the topic starter means?
What's the difference between "bad boy" and "bad man" in your posting? If you "translate" it into marriage?

[sniper]

You need to think "bad boy" and not "bad man." 
 
Basically he does what he wants to do when he wants to do it, regardless of the consequences.   He does not care about the feelings of others.  He is not afraid of anyone and he disrespects authority.  He does not look for trouble yet does not shy away from it even if it involves fighting.   You are never sure about how he makes his money; in fact, it could be the result of something illegal.
 
How does he treat you?  You have made plans with your Bad Boy for Saturday evening.  You look really good in your new dress.  He does not show up, and he calls a few hours later.   He lies about his excuse because he is hiding the truth that he was partying and having sex with a Gothic girl laden with piercings, who he just met at a friend's pad.  You hang up.  On Monday he calls and sweet talks you into meeting him.  He is nice and attentive to you.  You have sex, a little rough but still wonderful and all is forgiven.  On Thursday you call him because he has not called you.  He is sweet at first, but when you nag him about something he did, he answers you as if you are a piece of shit.  On Friday he comes by to see you, and he is really nice.  Instead of sex he explains why he needs to borrow money from you without explaining why he needs it,  As you hand him the money, you wonder if he will repay you.  Etc., etc. etc.

Thats exactly what bad boys are in my opinion. I know stuff - Im a sucker for those
But I can hardly imagine say 50 y.o guy behaving like that - so do bad boys turn into bad men ???

[GQBlues]

Thats exactly what bad boys are in my opinion. I know stuff - Im a sucker for those    ....

LOL! Women are women...

[Doll]

Thats exactly what bad boys are in my opinion. I know stuff - Im a sucker for those
But I can hardly imagine say 50 y.o guy behaving like that - so do bad boys turn into bad men ???

I am sure they do.

[Donna_Pedro]

It's okay to tell a woman "no". I've been around tough women and one reason they like me is because I can handle and don't always agree them.

No its not. My husband is not my father or not any type of authority to tell me "no". I do not say "no" to him either. Because if I do, he will go to any length up to self destruction to do as he wants. So would I.  We discuss things, but never command each other.

[noelscot]

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11863.0
 
For you California lads.   

Gold. Pure gold.

[Vincenzo]

Girls like bad boys because they act like real men.

If a thug bothers his girl, a bad boy hits and beats him; a good boy takes out his phone and starts calling the police.

A bad boy leads in a relationship, and a girl prefers to be a follower. It's more comfortable for her.

A bad boy likes to express his opinion and even argue. A good boy is always politically correct and tries not to offend somebody; he'll always be passive and underappreciated.

A bad boy doesn't accept "No", he just takes a girl.

[BillyB]

No its not. My husband is not my father or not any type of authority to tell me "no". I do not say "no" to him either. Because if I do, he will go to any length up to self destruction to do as he wants. So would I. 

I would never get involved with a woman who can throw a temper tantrum near self destruct if she doesn't get what she wants. You and your husband are the same so it is wise for both of you to always say "yes" to the wants of each other.
 
Most RW I know don't want a "yes" man. Some RW I dated, two of them in their 20's, won't even date a man younger than 30 because young men have a tendency to always do want a woman wants and can't think for himself.
 

  We discuss things, but never command each other.

You both command each other as much or more than most couples because you both "insist" you get what you want or something unpleasant will take place. Most compatible couples can agree most of the time with each others desires but will occasionally say "no" without consequences.

[sniper]

Girls like bad boys because they act like real men.

If a thug bothers his girl, a bad boy hits and beats him; a good boy takes out his phone and starts calling the police.

A bad boy leads in a relationship, and a girl prefers to be a follower. It's more comfortable for her.

A bad boy likes to express his opinion and even argue. A good boy is always politically correct and tries not to offend somebody; he'll always be passive and underappreciated.

A bad boy doesn't accept "No", he just takes a girl.

I totally agree.
Bad boys often behave like cavemen. And I believe it awakes an instinct of some kind in women. Idk some women like to feel that man is a man and he s the one who decides and you(as a woman) adjust. Not a good or bad thing, its just some women like it that way.

[sniper]

LOL! Women are women...

Bad boys are like Loubotin stilettos - painful but oh-so-sexy 
Though...I guess men dont get it)

[jeff9556]

Am I a bad boy? According to many women I have dated I am, you be the judge...

Basically he does what he wants to do when he wants to do it, regardless of the consequences...
...He is not afraid of anyone and he disrespects authority...

I will judge all rules (social norms, laws etc) in terms of relevance to my life. If it is irrelevant then I have no time for it. If it is relevant I might take note of it. For example small talk - something people do in order to break the ice at social functions - this I see as a waste of time and do not typically engage in such mindless banter. Either you have something interesting to share or I need something from you. Another reason I might speak with you is that I am bored and feel like twisting your brain inside out.

He does not care about the feelings of others.

Not true. I just don't know about them. If I know about them and have some empathy I will care. However, I am not good at picking up on emotions, or if I cannot see the logic in your mental state then I will not empathize with you and more likely see you as weak minded.

He does not look for trouble yet does not shy away from it even if it involves fighting.

True. Its part of my culture and who I am. I you want to start something be prepared to get physical if it goes that far. I will escalate quickly if I sense weakness.

You are never sure about how he makes his money; in fact, it could be the result of something illegal.

True, partly true anyway. I do not do anything illegal as such however I am not afraid to bend  the rules, in particular regarding taxation.

How does he treat you?  You have made plans with your Bad Boy for Saturday evening.  You look really good in your new dress.  He does not show up, and he calls a few hours later.

True. But the truth is I just forgot about you and our meeting. I have terrible time management and forget small details all the time.

He lies about his excuse because he is hiding the truth that he was partying and having sex with a Gothic girl laden with piercings, who he just met at a friend's pad.  You hang up. 

Was true, now I am older and less inclined to sleep with Gothic chicks. I would not be against it though, Gothic chicks are hot.

On Monday he calls and sweet talks you into meeting him.  He is nice and attentive to you. 

Wrong. Bad boys never supplicate. I will just say I forgot about our meeting and we should hook up later today.

On Thursday you call him because he has not called you.  He is sweet at first, but when you nag him about something he did, he answers you as if you are a piece of shit. 

Again the supplicating bit is wrong. Yes I despise nagging and will react badly to this. It will be the first and last time you nag me.

Instead of sex he explains why he needs to borrow money from you without explaining why he needs it,  As you hand him the money, you wonder if he will repay you.  Etc., etc. etc.

Probably, however it will be because I am hungry and the take-away down the road only takes cash and I need it now (I am hungry). She will get it back in spades if she plays her cards right. I don't owe her anything.

Final note. Yes this is mostly true, with some humor mixed in... and if you don't get it (the humor) then I assume you are not very intelligent, therefor irrelevant. Am I an arrogant bastard? Not really, its just my nature/personality and I can't change that easily.

[Muzh]

You're talking of control freaks))) which is actually a borderline personality disorder.
How do you know what the topic starter means?
What's the difference between "bad boy" and "bad man" in your posting? If you "translate" it into marriage?

Actually Doll, he just described many young narcissists people in our country. There are some behaviorists that are calling this the Narcissist Era. There is no bad boy anymore. They couldn't care less. They are too busy admiring at themselves in the mirror.

[ghost of moon goddess]

Am I a bad boy? According to many women I have dated I am, you be the judge...

Bad boys don't have a fear of being misunderstood or judged; when kidding they don't feel the need to make a joke obvious - it is irrelevant to them whether or not someone gets it; it is their nature to push the boundaries of rules set down by someone and self-prescribe their rules for living. 

Final note. Yes this is mostly true, with some humor mixed in... and if you don't get it (the humor) then I assume you are not very intelligent, therefor irrelevant. Am I an arrogant bastard? Not really, its just my nature/personality and I can't change that easily.

A final note from you is strong evidence that you  aren't even remotely a "bad" boy   

[GQBlues]

Bad boys are like Loubotin stilettos - painful but oh-so-sexy 
Though...I guess men dont get it)

Yes, I think bad boys are like drugs to women in some strange way. They know they're bad for them but they just can't say 'no'. They make it easier for women to unleash their basic instincts, don't they?   

[Doll]

Actually Doll, he just described many young narcissists people in our country. There are some behaviorists that are calling this the Narcissist Era. There is no bad boy anymore. They couldn't care less. They are too busy admiring at themselves in the mirror.

Narcissism is just one type of BPD, he was talking of all of them in general.

[Patagonie]

Narcissism is just one type of BPD, he was talking of all of them in general.

. 
 
you can have a better idea of disorders here : http://chiron.valdosta.edu/dbriihl/intro16anotes.htm . 

[Patagonie]

And you can search about DSIV M classification, which is very useful (BPD, NPD, HPD ....)

[sniper]

Yes, I think bad boys are like drugs to women in some strange way. They know they're bad for them but they just can't say 'no'. They make it easier for women to unleash their basic instincts, doesn't it?   

Yeah thats absolutely right. As a connoisseur of bad boys I would say they make it easier to unleash (sometimes DISCOVER) our basic instincts. I was totally different with bad boys compared to how I behave with good boys. May be something wrong with me lol But my friends from our bad boys fan club say that they are far more likely to go wild and do crazy things with bad boys rather than good boys

[Donna_Pedro]

Most compatible couples can agree most of the time with each others desires but will occasionally say "no" without consequences.

Most compatible couples do not tell each other what to do. Please, remember, I am not 19 yo. I am a grown up woman, I do not need approval for my actions. I can not even imagine a situation in which my husband would have to approve of my actions (say "yes" or "no"). We negotiate. If we can not agree, I will do the way I see fit. I will go a long way to explain my point of view, but at the end he will have to pick - deal with the consequences or leave. This works both ways. I know my husband. Even an attempt to control him would cause him to do the opposite. We both are made from the same dough. So we negotiate.

[jeff9556]

Bad boys don't have a fear of being misunderstood or judged; when kidding they don't feel the need to make a joke obvious - it is irrelevant to them whether or not someone gets it; it is their nature to push the boundaries of rules set down by someone and self-prescribe their rules for living. 
A final note from you is strong evidence that you  aren't even remotely a "bad" boy   

Dammit, I will have to try harder But alas, you are right, and I knew it all along.

[Gator]

Narcissism is just one type of BPD, he was talking of all of them in general.

Please don't read too much into this.  You asked about Bad Boy behavior and I gave you examples.   The examples I gave you are real.  They come from my actual life experiences where I encountered several Bad Boys.  I have simply composited the real experiences into one fictional person. 

Number One

My next door neighbor, a mere boy my age when we first met. A homely youth, yet  he was the first to get laid and more than once (beat me by about 5 years ).  He even had sex with my cousin.  He never went to college, was in trouble with the law, ended up partially paralyzed by a motorcycle accident (no helmet of course), and discovered during therapy an unknown artistic talent. 

Number Two

A man I encountered in a club in Florida.  I am sitting between two women and gloriously connecting with perhaps the most beautiful blond I have even met. She is smart and so easy to talk with.  I am on Cloud Nine.  In he walks and within seconds punches the blonde's friend in her mouth.   He jumps at me, takes a swing but misses, rips my shirt as  I push him to the floor.  I did not hit him even though I had him pinned.   The bouncers arrived within a split second. The Bad Boy went ballistic and I became an observer.

Outside the blond and I talked after sending her friend home in a taxi...the Bad Boy sees us  but not the friend he hit earlier....he comes over ...says some bad stuff.....roars off on his motorcycle...the blond knows him and tell me all about him (the behavior I described).....she leaves to see her friend...the blond and I talk on the phone (before mobile phones) and I send her a beautiful letter....she wants to meet me (she is a stewardess and we can meet anywhere)...I dream about this woman.....

It never happened.    Her younger sister somehow had a crush on me from the club, and that ended it before it got started..  I made a final call to convince her of my good intentions.  Guess who was at her apartment smoking weed?  Yes, the Bad Boy.  Did that Bad Boy prevent what could have been my happy life with a soulmate (that was my in my head for a couple of years).

Number Three

A college acquaintance who would steal small stuff (such as my liquor)..... take cars on a joyride.....climb through a transom to enter a professor's office at night and steal an advance  copy of the exam.... brawl in the street...had a beautiful girlfriend....died early from a heart condition.

Number Four

A fraternity brother drafted and cut by the Steelers...one day he pushes his pretty girlfriend down the steps...she is crumpled and dazed...we all whisper to ourselves, "Too bad Kathy."    Yes, we were justifiably scared of this man and did not come to her aid. 

There are others.  And there are perhaps a 100 Bad Boys to the Second Degree (including some friends of my sons).  But you get the picture.   They fit the descriptors I gave you.   These people were not normal, yet I don't know that their behavior conforms to a specific psychologic condition.