Divorced RW experience of dating in the US.

[Vasilisa]

That was a cute guy last night by the way. I may be moving to Asia soon.

[LiveFromUkraine]

That was a cute guy last night by the way. I may be moving to Asia soon.

I should be traveling around Asia after summer and most of next year.  If I see a pretty Russian woman interrogating a man at dinner I will be sure to send over some strawberry salad.   

[Boethius]

And again: I am not trying to impress anyone, just testing and observing,  for me it's important if the person is on the same wave with me and if I have chemistry, if he thinks it's a heavy topic to discuss something on the first date  and is uncomfortable, he is not my guy, that's it.


That's my strategy.
I've attended psychological meetings and trainings of different kinds before, when unknown people have to share very personal details and thoughts in front of unknown people, but many of them felt emotionally relaxed after that, like one close family. For me it's important to have this level of communication with people.

   

The only thing you can know about me in Six Flags over Texas in August is that I am from Russia and love ice-cream.

Your reaction to things around you (are you jovial?  cranky?  willing to compromise? etc.) discloses many aspects of your personality.  Unguarded moments are always more revealing than an interview.

[Vasilisa]

Your reaction to things around you (are you jovial?  cranky?  willing to compromise? etc.) discloses many aspects of your personality.  Unguarded moments are always more revealing than an interview.

When it's more than 100F I don't have any reactions at all except for standing wet under a parasol eating ice cream. Nor questions either.

[Boethius]

When it's more than 100F I don't have any reactions at all except for standing wet under a parasol eating ice cream. Nor questions either.

It's not about you.

It's about your date's reactions.

[Muzh]

The act itself-crying on first date-would NOT lead a nonjudgmental person to form unfavorable opinion about the crying person. It is the reason behind the act that is important. If a sensitive and painful issue was touched, it is okay for the person to have tears on his or her eyes.

There was a painful issue, not just tears because the evening was so cool. Well, not crying but wet eyes I  should say.

Ladies, with all due respect, I got burned moderately by trying to be understanding. I ended up, briefly, with this creature from hell. I even had to move and change phone numbers.
 
Sorry. Check, please.
 
 

[Muzh]

Fashionista, last year I had several dates with one man. The guy was financially stable, good job, etc. But full of weird "details". One time he mentioned he had a really serious relationship with the woman who had a kid from her previous marriage, they had been dating for 4 years and when he explained why they broke up I was shocked: he said: I asked her if she wanted to have kids and she explained that she had a kid and she didn't want to have more.

Now I have a question: what had they been doing for 4 years' time that he didn't realize that she didn't want to have more kids with him which were of such huge importance to him?! Discussed strawberries in the salad?!

LMAO
 
Boy, you are miles away from understanding men's mentality.
 
Let me know if you would like further and quite graphic explanation. 

[Vasilisa]

There was a painful issue, not just tears because the evening was so cool. Well, not crying but wet eyes I  should say.

 
Ladies, with all due respect, I got burned moderately by trying to be understanding. I ended up, briefly, with this creature from hell. I even had to move and change phone numbers.
 
Sorry. Check, please.

Ok, what makes you stay here then?! Check out. LOL.

[Vasilisa]

LMAO
 
Boy, you are miles away from understanding NOT YOUR men's mentality.
 

I know.

[Muzh]

Ok, what makes you stay here then?! Check out. LOL.

Well, for starters I can always turn off the computer and not be afraid of finding a rabbit stew.
 
Second, I think my wife would have a tiff if I go checking out other ladies during a date so I better behave. 
 
Finally, thsi is very tame by comparison. 

[Ranetka]

 I generally agree with everyone who posted re serious stuff. In addition to making a first day to be a job interview there is another point I'd like to make.
 
It's how I feel, YMMV. Opening up to a man I become vulnerable. I do not mean physically but emotionally; when I tell how I feel on a serious matters I open up. A man can hurt me emotionally if I open up and start having feelings for him; he can leave me, he can say nasty things, he can mock me etc. Therfore it is much safier to keep first few dates light and fun and not open up too soon. Let me be an enigma a bit longer :-)
 
 

[Muzh]

I generally agree with everyone who posted re serious stuff. In addition to making a first day to be a job interview there is another point I'd like to make.
 
It's how I feel, YMMV. Opening up to a man I become vulnerable. I do not mean physically but emotionally; when I tell how I feel on a serious matters I open up. A man can hurt me emotionally if I open up and start having feelings for him; he can leave me, he can say nasty things, he can mock me etc. Therfore it is much safier to keep first few dates light and fun and not open up too soon. Let me be an enigma a bit longer :-)

Very well said. Nice. 

[Vasilisa]

Muzh, I am not looking for men, so I don't have any desire to understand men's psychology. I am not for everyone and I am not going to impress anyone pretending to be who and what I am not. I am being myself. I am looking for one and only whose psychology I'd love to be interested in and who will love me the way I am with all my ups and downs, tears and smiles.
Looking for a robot?! See the world black and white?! All cryng women are psychos , all smiling ones are nice ladies?! Thinking stereotypes?!  All Russians are commies, all Americans are bloody capitalists?! Move on! Check out!!! 

[Muzh]

Muzh, I am not looking for men, so I don't have any desire to understand men's psychology. I am not for everyone and I am not going to impress anyone pretending to be who and what I am not. I am being myself. I am looking for one and only whose psychology I'd love to be interested in and who will love me the way I am with all my ups and downs, tears and smiles.
Looking for a robot?! See the world black and white?! All cryng women are psychos , all smiling ones are nice ladies?! Thinking stereotypes?!  All Russians are commies, all Americans are bloody capitalists?! Move on! Check out!!! 

My dear, I am guessing you will take this the wrong way but what the hell.
 
If you are not looking for men and have no desire to understand their psychology, why berate them? It don't make any sense.
 
Now, if you want to get to understand men so you can have a successful relationship don't close your ears. If you still go with the fallacy that a man "will take you for who you are" and will not ask you to change or compromise, you are heading for your second divorce.
 
Be smart.

[Vasilisa]

I generally agree with everyone who posted re serious stuff. In addition to making a first day to be a job interview there is another point I'd like to make.
 
It's how I feel, YMMV. Opening up to a man I become vulnerable. I do not mean physically but emotionally; when I tell how I feel on a serious matters I open up. A man can hurt me emotionally if I open up and start having feelings for him; he can leave me, he can say nasty things, he can mock me etc. Therfore it is much safier to keep first few dates light and fun and not open up too soon. Let me be an enigma a bit longer :-)

Ranetka, once again. It was NOT the first date, it was the second one. I did't feel comfortable on the first one, my way would be to get out of this, but many guys here say:don't judge the book by its cover, don't be too serious, blhblahblah, so he got another chance, the answer is: not compatible. I'd rather stay at home and read  a book. So what is the point in joking around for  years?!


I came here mainly to show the men dating  RW in the US their vision of average AM so this thread would be more informative, when I have a question on something particular  I ask it, what I get instead is persuading me that the men who came on the dates with me are nice and it's me who is doing everything wrong and everyone else knows it best what is better for me and what kind of men I need.

I know exacty what I need. I am not going to lower or change my standards because someone thinks that i am not going to find  men, I am not looking for  men, I am looking for one and only. If not, alas.

The thread is closed, I am not going to post any more"date reports" so you'd better find another informator.

[Vasilisa]

My dear, I am guessing you will take this the wrong way but what the hell.
 
If you are not looking for men and have no desire to understand their psychology, why berate them? It don't make any sense.
 
Now, if you want to get to understand men so you can have a successful relationship don't close your ears. If you still go with the fallacy that a man "will take you for who you are" and will not ask you to change or compromise, you are heading for your second divorce.
 
Be smart.

Here is another one who knows it best what I need. I don't remember asking someone what I need, but Muzh is so kind so he could tell me exactly what I need and what I should do.

[Ranetka]

The thread is closed, I am not going to post any more"date reports" so you'd better find another informator.

Oh that's a pity, I enjoyed reading this thread. Sorry if my post was the last straw!

[Muzh]

Here is another one who knows it best what I need. I don't remember asking someone what I need, but Muzh is so kind so he could tell me exactly what I need and what I should do.

Oh boy, you really don't want me to do that, do you?

[Vasilisa]

Ranetka, it was not the last straw, as I said, the thread was informative, so people could see and maybe recognize themselves.
More like a trip report.
For some reason some people felt that they can tell me what I need. I have no idea why.

[Aloe]

LMAO
 
Boy, you are miles away from understanding men's mentality.
 
Let me know if you would like further and quite graphic explanation. 

Plz tell me, i am very curious My theory is he stayed with her for 4 years without knowing if she wanted more children cuz he was just taking it as it comes to him. and when he arrived at the thought that he wanted children, then he asked her. But i am very curious what you think. What is men's mentality?

[Muzh]

Plz tell me, i am very curious My theory is he stayed with her for 4 years without knowing if she wanted more children cuz he was just taking it as it comes to him. and when he arrived at the thought that he wanted children, then he asked her. But i am very curious what you think. What is men's mentality?

You promise not to blush or get offended?

[Muzh]

Well...... offended?

[Aloe]

You promise not to blush or get offended?

I only remember one time in my 4 years on the forum when somebody managed to upset me (very recently), so i'd say i most likely will not blush or get offended

[LiveFromUkraine]

Ranetka, it was not the last straw, as I said, the thread was informative, so people could see and maybe recognize themselves.
More like a trip report.
For some reason some people felt that they can tell me what I need. I have no idea why.

I think people just wanted to see you succeed and be happy. 

[Boethius]

I came here mainly to show the men dating  RW in the US their vision of average AM so this thread would be more informative, when I have a question on something particular  I ask it, what I get instead is persuading me that the men who came on the dates with me are nice and it's me who is doing everything wrong and everyone else knows it best what is better for me and what kind of men I need.


I know exacty what I need. I am not going to lower or change my standards because someone thinks that i am not going to find  men, I am not looking for  men, I am looking for one and only. If not, alas.


The thread is closed, I am not going to post any more"date reports" so you'd better find another informator.

If you don't want responses, Vasilisa, you can ask to have your thread moved here


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?board=60.0


Although your thread is not a trip report, that is an area where posters' threads are without comment.