Divorced RW experience of dating in the US.

[Vasilisa]

Hi, guys!
I am sorry for not coming here often, I was too busy with my fall trip to Russia, looking for a new job, moving, etc.
Now I am on a "local market". Got my profile created last week.

What can I say.. I am being written to a lot. The only thing is that the people that I like and have a lot  in common with (interests, goals, values, point of view, I love the  pictures, etc) are normally in the "high income" group: executives, medical doctors, lawyers. I am simply ashamed of writing to them.

The ones that write to me a lot have the interests I don't know anything about or don't have any interest in at all  like playing baseball or car race and they look like players or "kidults".

Any ideas of what I should do?!

[GQBlues]

....Any ideas of what I should do?!

Try life, live it, enjoy it!

[Vasilisa]

I do. I got divorced, was trying to settle down, now , when I am better I am trying to start having a personal life also. Sharing the experience here.

[GoodOlBoy]

....or don't have any interest in at all  like playing baseball or car race

How do you know?
 
Have you ever been to one?
 
Marina and I are going to the Daytona 500 this weekend.
She didn't think she would like car racing when she first came to the GoodOl' USA, but after Indy and Daytona, she can't get enough of the huge crowds, the entertainment, the energy and of course the noise (ear plugs required  ).
 
My advice..... take a chance and step outside of your mind.
 
GOB
 

[Vasilisa]

How do you know?
 
Have you ever been to one?
 
 

I have been to both baseball games with my ex and watched a car race (Nascar). No interest.

I love swimming, cycling, hiking, camping, snorkeling, photography, traveling, reading, beaches, Europe, history, museums, theatre, opera, ballet, Discovery channel, HC, wine tasting, golf, I am not into night clubs, bars,  or pool parties, etc.

[Globetrotter]

Vasalisa, I would write back to anyone who interests you, no matter what income group they're in....as anybody can learn from another.  Their interests may become yours, and yours may become his.  Be yourself, be honest, and jump on that horse!

[Vasilisa]

Vasalisa, I would write back to anyone who interests you, no matter what income group they're in....as anybody can learn from another.  Their interests may become yours, and yours may become his.  Be yourself, be honest, and jump on that horse!

Speaking of horses, I love horse riding, too:)
I tried to write to one man on e-harmony and the first thing he wrote back was what he was doing and what his job was and how many employees he has, what a great gradnfather he has that's influenced him in a great way and taught him how to be  a leader, then he asked me about my job.

 

On the other side even middle class people don't all write "flirty dating" things and being mean in their first letters  sometimes but I don't give up on them , so maybe I should keep looking.

[GoodOlBoy]

I have been to both baseball games with my ex and watched a car race (Nascar). No interest.

I love swimming, cycling, hiking, camping, snorkeling, photography, traveling, reading, beaches, Europe, history, museums, theatre, opera, ballet, Discovery channel, HC, wine tasting, golf, I am not into night clubs, bars,  or pool parties, etc.

You stated it best yourself in another thread    :
 

From my personal experience, the more open-minded, well-traveled and educated the person is the more willing he is to try something new and enjoy it.

GOB
 
 
 

[Vasilisa]

You stated it best yourself in another thread    :
 
GOB
 
 
 

I am willing to try, many of these people I am writing about have the interests I have tried but didn't like. You may not believe that but there are 40 yo guys who love computer games, books and TV shows about vampires there. I loved that when I was 17, not anymore. I'd love to have a child, but I wouldn't like to date a 40 yo one.

[Vasilisa]

I've had one date so far, went out last Saturday.
I don't have a lot of enthusiasm. I wish I did.

[Misha]

I'd love to have a child, but I wouldn't like to date a 40 yo one.

That might limit your dating pool quite a bit    How does it go: "The difference between a man and a boy is the cost of his toys" 

[Misha]

I am simply ashamed of writing to them.

Why? What is the worst that can happen if you do write to them? They ignore you or write back a polite "I am not interested" 

[GoodOlBoy]

Vasilisa, it has been said before here on RWD and I will repeat it again.
 
There are to many AM willing to get on a airplane and fly thousands of miles to the FSU searching for the proverbial needle in the haystack, when their ideal RW may be living right here in the GoodOl' USA!
 
Go figure. 
 
GOB

[Kineo]

I love swimming, cycling, hiking, camping, snorkeling, photography, traveling, reading, beaches, Europe, history, museums, theatre, opera, ballet, Discovery channel, HC, wine tasting, golf, I am not into night clubs, bars,  or pool parties, etc.

All I can say is where were you when I was looking? 
 
-K

[Lily]

  I am simply ashamed of writing to them.
 

Why do you feel reluctant to writing them?? What are your reasons?
By all means, go ahead and contact them first! Read their profile, find a few points that look rather unique about them and that they may be proud of. You should be able to figure this out from their pictures and profile textes. Address their best sides and achievements, ask them open questions and see what happens.
On another note, you say that you tend to like men who are well established professionally and are probably rather high on the social level. I can relate to you on this. Well, these men often have choices in their lives. My take would be to try to convince them that you are exactly their partner material. Compete with AW, you probably have lots of things to beat the competition!
 
 
 

[Gator]

Vasilisa,
Online dating in America is unproductive in my opinion.  My Cossack Woman's 23-yo daughter resides with me.  She is gorgeous, tall, buxom, slender, and has a deep sexy voice.  I paid to announce her availability on Match.com.  It was a lot of wasted time.  After a couple of months, she dropped it. 
She has not found Mr. Wonderful elsewhere either.
So I suggest that you focus on other ways to meet men.  Good luck!

[GQBlues]

I'm not so sure why you're having a tough time meeting someone.
 
In our neck of the woods, we know a lot of AM/RW couples, if not all of them, who apparently met in neighboring supermarkets.
 
 

[Lily]

 

I'm not so sure why you're having a tough time meeting someone.
 

Because of people who we chose, don't always chose us in return, and vice versa. This is life.
The online dating requires time, persistence, ability to read people, indifference to jerks, angelic patience, diabolic attractiveness, all in one. But all this does not work without a little piece of luck

So I suggest that you focus on other ways to meet men.  Good luck!

Which ones for example? How does she know that this or that man is available?

[Vasilisa]

Vasilisa,
Online dating in America is unproductive in my opinion.  My Cossack Woman's 23-yo daughter resides with me.  She is gorgeous, tall, buxom, slender, and has a deep sexy voice.  I paid to announce her availability on Match.com.  It was a lot of wasted time. 

Gator, I have reasons to think that Match.com has a lot of fake profiles.

I can't explain why when you find 100% match, a lot in common, the same goals and interests,etc and write to him (an average guy, his income part doesn't show he is in the 150+K group) he doesn't answer. I understand that I may not be their type (some of them) but there are a lot of cases like that.
I made a search looking for other women of the same age in my area and compared my profile with their ones, my one doesn't look bad at all, I don't mention I am from abroad right away. My main photo-a portrait one-I smile, I have good teeth -whitened ones, if it matters, I have long hair:) The rest of the pictures show my interests, in the profile I look like I am interested in a serious relationship. I have MA. I don't have children. (Many women in my area have ones).

I just don't get it. I keep receiving letters from the ones who I have nothing in common with or who don't even read my profile and send the message you can send to everyone or there is something seriously wrong with them. Can you explain that?!

[SteveOR]

 
Have you tried Elena's Models http://www.elenasmodels.com/ ?  There are many profiles of women from the FSU who now live in the US on this site.  Maybe a place to expand your search.
 
BTW, cute dog.  I'll bet that he or she barks better Russian than English  . . .
 
 

[GQBlues]

...I just don't get it. I keep receiving letters from the ones who I have nothing in common with or who don't even read my profile and send the message you can send to everyone or there is something seriously wrong with them. Can you explain that?!

...then drop the virtual dating and get out of the house!

...I love swimming, cycling, hiking, camping, snorkeling, photography, traveling, reading, beaches, Europe, history, museums, theatre, opera, ballet, Discovery channel, HC, wine tasting, golf..

...and find clubs that touches on the above. Hiking clubs, photography clubs, dance clubs, wine tasting clubs, travel clubs (Virtual Tourist), Riding clubs (western riders do weekend trips / Euro/Equestrian) etc... GOLF! Heck, join a golf club, or just tee out when you can...golf courses have men for miles and miles...and golfing women are always an attraction. You will literally be with 'men' for at least 4 hours at a time and chat while playing...you don't necessarily have to date or just meet men. Sometimes social networking can be a huge help. So meeting other women who shares the same interests as you can be just as beneficial for you.

The worst thing you can do is sit at home waiting for your dating inbox to ding, bop, and bust - everyday.

I still don't get why this needs to be this tough. It's nothing more than just meeting people.

[ML]

I can't explain why when you find 100% match, a lot in common, the same goals and interests,etc and write to him (an average guy, his income part doesn't show he is in the 150+K group) he doesn't answer. I understand that I may not be their type (some of them) but there are a lot of cases like that.

At the risk of bodily injury (mine), I will opine that 'most' men like to feel they are in control of the dating situation.  If a woman comes across as too aggressive, to assertive, too demanding, etc., then 'most' men will not follow up with them.  Now this is not to say that 'most' men (including myself) want a stupid woman who is a shrinking violet.  (Note:  not saying that you seem to be in this category; but just do a self check)

For a positive recommendation . . . go where the men are; and also go where the high income or soon to be high income men are.

i.e. Join a gym or health club that seems to have more men than women.
Volunteer at local hospitals so you can catch the eye of the docs.
Find out the downtown bars where lawyers hang out, and hang out a bit there also.
Join a running club; especially one with high proportion of men members.
Watch the newspapers for notices of classic car club meetings and displays; and attend.
Join some of the help clubs: Rotary, etc.
Get a job at a 'high end' new car dealership

If you look at the above list, you can see that this much easier for women than for men.

And to get more specific . . . you women can get a lot of attention by dropping your panties.  The man will only get arrested for such.  It's a woman's world. 
 

[Lily]

ML, and other gents,

You advice Vasilisa to socialize among the people who are like herself sounds good. Would you elaborate a bit on that?
Yes, by all means we should network and make friends, irrespectively from our dating life.
Let's assume, Vasilisa arranged a good social life for herself, purchased a membership in a nice golf club, spends her Friday nights at a bar that is known to be frequented by the local executives. Now what, in your opinion, can she do? With her fluent English, she can approach them, make a small talk to them, even ask for their opinion or some advice depending on the situation, and eventually get a business card. Okay, what next?
 

[Lily]

do you mean doing something like this?

And to get more specific . . . you women can get a lot of attention by dropping your panties. 

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[Misha]

(an average guy, his income part doesn't show he is in the 150+K group) he doesn't answer. I understand that I may not be their type (some of them) but there are a lot of cases like that.

It all depends how you define an "average" guy. Perhaps your average is not really average but the kind of guy that all women will be pursuing or be happy to be pursued by him