How Many RW are Psychologically Damaged?

[Gator]

In the "Hi, I'm Jason" thread we read a fascinating account of his experience with Yana.    ECOCKS correctly summarized her and others like her as,
                "These women are toxic, damaging everything they come in contact to a greater or lesser degree."   
 
Then Slumba added another example.

Jason if it is any consolation, your thread has helped me come to a decision on someone I have been communicating with. 

She is/was quite attractive, but now has  a young child after a brief marriage to a Turk that hit her, and her maturity level is still lacking, she does not seem to have good budgeting ability, etc. and her personal life is a bit in chaos.  She is fixated on her appearance also.

Yes, her history includes at 20, a 40yo British guy paying for her apartment for 3 years, and I am sure many other choice bits of history that I do not know and really do not care to know... time for me to sack up and declare it over and done ...

Concurrent with this was ML's thread about parasitic RW, although I consider that a different animal.   

Encountering such women is not recent news.  The RWD archives are replete with such examples, and this has been going on for a long time.   In fact when I joined RWG 10 years ago, I recall Maxx describing his infamous wife.  She exhibited some weird behavior, and she ended up inflicting heavy damage to Maxx as ECOCKS would have predicted..   
 
Why is this?  To expand upon ECOCKS's summary: 
               Such women have untreated psychological condition of an unknown source.  That is, they are damaged.

Many people look down on the women who list themselves with MOB agencies.   Much of this is about scammers and insincere women.   Those women don't bother me.  However, there is lurking in MOB agency profiles something more menacing.  Is it possible that not a small number of psychologically damaged women  have made it to agency catalogs?   Buyer beware.   

Here is the irony.  Many people believe that the western men who pursue RW have some psychological baggage.  The batty chasing the batty?
Here is another kicker.   Some men recognize there is a potential problem, yet are drawn into the drama and believe that they can help the woman with her issues and demons.      Just keep in mind that an educated psychiatrist would treat such women yet would avoid emotional relationships with them as if they were the plague. 
 
I have some thoughts about possible explanations.  First I would like to hear what others have to say.   

[Faux Pas]

Gator

I think just the nature of this pursuit attracts damaged women or women with such problems. It is an avenue to further their craft, so to speak. It should also be said that just the nature of this pursuit also attracts men with the same dysfunctions. Let's be completely honest here. There are a great many men that look abroad that not only have these same psychological issues as these damaged women but, some much worse.

The nature of the beast in MOB is that in and of itself just attracts much less than stellar individuals. With that said, it also attracts some of the best of people both, male and female. Fewer in between types almost. Or, that is usually reflected on the forums.

As such on the forums we get much of the good and equally or more of the bad. The sample size from the forums is extremely small and should not IMO but used as representative of all MOB as was mentioned in another thread recently.

There are bad people out there and more often than not, the bad is held up as the norm. It is not, IMHO

[BC]

My gut feeling is that everyone on the planet has issues of one kind or another.  Those in the west likely have better resources to address them whereas in FSU the lack of resources or confidence in such leaves many without the ability to address a problem.  Many other life aspects are involved, to mention another 'Raising kids by hand' which is no longer tolerated in most of western society, even considered 'crazy'.

Most if not all of the long term married guys around know about 'adjustments' (on both sides) and the enormous amount of patience and involvement required to pull things through or let it go.  Many WM are simply not tooled to deal with it properly.

I do think 'The batty chasing the batty' applies to quite a few that end up in train wrecks.

[Darth_Budda]

I am just going on the thread title...

How Many RW are Psychologically Damaged?

About the same as American women or men,,

Lol,,, what a thread...

Mental illness is real and can be very devastating to peoples life's...

Most normal people have issues of mental illness at some point in their lives.
Sometimes caused by traumatic experiences Like divorces, LoL

Bottom line is if you need to talk to some one, Than you need to talk to some one. It's not gonna go away until you get help. Even than some forms are life long, But people need to remember that a lot of times the impact of the illness can be reduced through professional and family support...


What a site,,,,     

[Gator]

I am just going on the thread title...

How Many RW are Psychologically Damaged?

About the same as American women or men,,

I agree with you when it comes to brain chemistry.  However, as you later say some psychological conditions derive from experiences and the social environment.  Is there a difference between the FSU and America?   Is life more difficult in the FSU?

Bottom line is if you need to talk to some one, Than you need to talk to some one. It's not gonna go away until you get help. Even than some forms are life long, But people need to remember that a lot of times the impact of the illness can be reduced through professional and family support...

As BC stated, "Those in the west likely have better resources to address them whereas in FSU the lack of resources or confidence in such leaves many without the ability to address a problem."
 
Is this a factor?
 
And the ultimate question, how many pretty FSUW  with an untreated condition make it to the MOB agencies?   Is the percentage on a MOB site different from the national percentage?

[Muzh]

Gator,

Based on the examples, why is it that this thread is about RW who are toxic?

Has the man evolved to a point that the world cease to exist once he gets a hard on?

I can see the teenagers who go through those megablasts of testosterone. But we are talking about adults here, aren't we?

So the question is why are these guys not responding to the incoming train? What has happened (or didn't happen) to these guys?

[Gator]

Gator,

Based on the examples, why is it that this thread is about RW who are toxic?

Has the man evolved to a point that the world cease to exist once he gets a hard on?

I can see the teenagers who go through those megablasts of testosterone. But we are talking about adults here, aren't we?

So the question is why are these guys not responding to the incoming train? What has happened (or didn't happen) to these guys?

The old joke about having two heads and only enough blood to operate one.
 
You are correct.  And it is not about sexual lust overriding common sense.  As I stated in my OP, some men are drawn into the drama knowing there is a potential problem.   I plead "guilty." 
 
Unless one is a hardass, it is difficult to not be drawn in when you connect with  innocent young children and a woman with many good inner qualities, all needing and seeking stability. 

[Muzh]

The old joke about having two heads and only enough blood to operate one.
 
You are correct.  And it is not about sexual lust overriding common sense.  As I stated in my OP, some men are drawn into the drama knowing there is a potential problem.   I plead "guilty." 
 
Unless one is a hardass, it is difficult to not be drawn in when you connect with  innocent young children and a woman with many good inner qualities, all needing and seeking stability.

Man Gator, you are an incredibly generous man. Drama?!?!?!?

I'll be as crass as I can be and maybe I can be more clear.

When I see a hardbody exhibiting that kind of behavior I have two options.

1) If I want to get on her pants, I'll do everything possible for her to get as horny as she can, do the deed and then WALK AWAY.

2) WALK AWAY.

[Gator]

Man Gator, you are an incredibly generous man. Drama?!?!?!?

I'll be as crass as I can be and maybe I can be more clear.

When I see a hardbody exhibiting that kind of behavior I have two options.

1) If I want to get on her pants, I'll do everything possible for her to get as horny as she can, do the deed and then WALK AWAY.

2) WALK AWAY.

Good point, and Jason did walk away in the sense that he did not marry her.

Drama is not a black and white issue.    It is on a continuum. 

Yana's behavior was X-rated.  Disappear without explanation  for days, frivilous purchases, totally unreasonable requests demands for money, another man...  Does it get any worse?

Another point.  Jason did not observe this in Yana in the beginning.  Remember, he spent much more time with her than most men who become engaged to FSUW.   She was on her best behavior.

What if the drama is G rated, or PG rated?   That is what I mean by being drawn in.   

[Misha]

The old joke about having two heads and only enough blood to operate one.
 

Straight men get dumber just thinking women are nearby: study

Enough said 

[Misha]

2) WALK AWAY.

Men IMVHO will only do this if they have to confidence to know they can find someone else 

[BC]

And the ultimate question, how many pretty FSUW  with an untreated condition make it to the MOB agencies?   Is the percentage on a MOB site different from the national percentage?

Probably higher for those actively seeking an 'out'. But even that should not be unusual considering circumstances over the last 20 years, mostly economic and social.  Over time it will improve.

Both WM and FSUW going the MOB route are primarily seeking an 'easier, softer way'.   I cringe when I see a new poster come on board that has absolutely zero experience with life outside his own borders. Ditto for the women.  Just looking for trouble.

[Muzh]

Men IMVHO will only do this if they have to confidence to know they can find someone else 

Smart man. You got it.

[BC]

Men IMVHO will only do this if they have to confidence to know they can find someone else 

And/or know when to cut losses..  In many aspects it's like gambling, everyone looking for that jackpot.

[Gator]

Straight men get dumber just thinking women are nearby: study

Enough said 

I am straight as a locomotive, so this must apply to me as well, or does it exclude men who look younger than their age?   
 
Did you read the closing?   
 

Do studies like these confirm what men or women already know? Or is this line of research a misguided attempt to widen the gender divide?   

 

[Gator]

  Men IMVHO will only do this if they have to confidence to know they can find someone else 

And/or know when to cut losses..  In many aspects it's like gambling, everyone looking for that jackpot.

I tend to agree that it is more about gambling (or doubling down on a bad investment) rather than about finding another woman.   
 
Consider, however, a good gambler runs a mental equation re: the value of the pot, the amount to call, and the odds of drawing the winning card.   It seems in regard to RW many men throw good money after bad.  Also, when entangled with a devious RW, she keeps raising the bet and asking for another card to draw,   unlike poker which has a three-raise limit and only 5-7 cards before the outcome is known.   

Are scammers psychotic?  Or just earning some money in devious ways.  For sure, their character regarding dishonesty is not normal.

[BC]

Are scammers psychotic?  Or just earning some money in devious ways.  For sure, their character regarding dishonesty is not normal.

Couch potatoes don't get on planes, neither do scammers.  Too lucrative to stay at home earning.

[OlgaH]

Are scammers psychotic?  Or just earning some money in devious ways.  For sure, their character regarding dishonesty is not normal.

Couch potatoes don't get on planes, neither do scammers.  Too lucrative to stay at home earning.

Scammers are usually much better psychologists than their victims.     Scammers are the same confidence artists http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confidence_trick

[BC]

Ive seen the bright lights of Memphis
And the Commodore Hotel
And underneath a street lamp, i met a southern belle
Oh she took me to the river, where she cast her spell
And in that southern moonlight, she sang this song so well

If youll be my Dixie chicken ill be your Tenessee lamb
And we can walk together down in Dixieland
Down in Dixieland

We made all the hotspots, my money flowed like wine
Then the low-down southern whiskey, yea, began to fog my mind
And i dont remember church bells, or the money i put down
On the white picket fence and boardwalk
On the house at the end of town
Oh but boy do i remember the strain of her refrain
And the nights we spent together
And the way she called my name

If youll be my Dixie chicken ill be your Tenessee lamb
And we can walk together down in Dixieland
Down in Dixieland

Many years since she ran away
Yes that guitar player sure could play
She always liked to sing along
She always handy with a song
But then one night at the lobby of the Commodore Hotel
I chanced to meet a bartender who said he knew her well
And as he handed me a drink he began to hum a song
And all the boys there, at the bar, began to sing along

If youll be my Dixie chicken ill be your Tenessee lamb
And we can walk together down in Dixieland
Down in Dixieland, Down in Dixieland

Little Feat - Dixie Chicken

[Patagonie]

Good point, and Jason did walk away in the sense that he did not marry her.

Drama is not a black and white issue.    It is on a continuum. 

Yana's behavior was X-rated.  Disappear without explanation  for days, frivilous purchases, totally unreasonable requests demands for money, another man...  Does it get any worse?

Another point.  Jason did not observe this in Yana in the beginning.  Remember, he spent much more time with her than most men who become engaged to FSUW.   She was on her best behavior.

What if the drama is G rated, or PG rated?   That is what I mean by being drawn in.

Not exactly, he found some signs but decided to ignore it.

[ECOCKS]

About 90%.

[BC]

About 90%.

And WM?

[ECOCKS]

65-75% of the ones going over there.

[Eduard]

I have mentioned this a few years ago... I was really surprised how many obviously psychotic women are involved in MOB actively searching for a foreign husband. I was reading some RW forums dedicated to this subject and what I learned was eyeopening. But really, it only makes sense. RM will figure them out in one date usually but with the language and cultural barrier it isn't as easy for WM. Even when a WM sees something that doesn't sit right with him in a lot of cases he will dismiss his concerns due to "cultural differences".
By the way the title of the thread only mentions RW, I think it concerns UW just as much.

[Gator]

RM will figure them out in one date usually...

Impressive.   RM are faster than professional psychiatrists who would need at least 3 sessions just to diagnose the condition.   Maybe RM learn quickly that they are not going to get any sex so they move on and dismiss the woman as crazy.