Unrealistic Expectations - Women - Entitlement Mentality

[Doll]

But to answer your question regarding contribution I contribute not less financially into our income. As my husband says now we go 50/50.  With me he doesn't need to hire somebody else for a job I do.  If God forbid something happens to my husband I have two options: to sell our business or continue to run it. Of course I can not counsel lawyers, I don't have my husband's expertise and experience, but I can do what I do now.

Actually, I asked if you could do it without working for your husband. The answer is no.
One from a thousand can make same money if this "one" comes here in her late 30s or 40s to marry a well established man.
No way.
Not sure how well the OP established  

[OlgaH]

Actually, I asked if you could do it without working for your husband. The answer is no.
One from a thousand can make same money if this "one" comes here in her late 30s or 40s to marry a well established man.
No way.
Not sure how well the OP established

Why do you think no  I actually can do what I do now without my husband. I also made a good deal with one of the Bar associations, and saved us $3K per year on advertising in the Bar magazine (full page each month) and got a good networking option.

[OlgaH]

It is a little bit hard to talk to you, because I responded to your "don't mind financial contribution", then you switch to something else.
Nobody looks at each other just financially.

Sorry for misunderstanding, if it happened, would you be so kind to quote my post with my  "don't mind financial contribution".

[Doll]

Personally I see nothing wrong with a man who would expect his lady working and contributing financially     )

[Gator]

A concept of equal money contribution is idiotic.
 
In a business not every partner can produce the same revenues and profits.  Frequently it is a team effort and each partner brings a strength that is missing in the others.  One may be superb at sales, another at creativity, another good with cleaning up messes, another with recruiting, etc.  And each partner respects the other partners.  It is an amazing story to experience such success as a partner.
 
Marriage is the same.  There is so much that needs to be done in a marriage.  Producing income is just one.  Each spouse is an equal partner who contributes much effort to the family (the team).  It is important that each undertakes his/her responsibilities with 110% commitment, as wise Mendy explained.   It is important that each respects and cherishes what the other accomplishes.
 
As I stated before, if two incomes are needed almost immediately to make ends meet, I suggest not looking for a FSU wife. 
 
 
As everyone knows, the courts recognize marriage as such a partnership.   Upon a divorce after many years of marriage, marital assets are split 50-50 regardless of who earned what. 

[Doll]

Upon a divorce after many years of marriage, marital assets are split 50-50 regardless of who earned what. 

Equitable distribution is more common than community property laws and instead of requiring a 50/50 split of marital property; it takes into account the financial situation of each spouse.

[OlgaH]

Doll, that's right "I wrote contributing financially" what is wrong with that? Did I right equally? No. 

Doll, I think you understand that the divorce is not so cheap procedure in the US. As many members here my husband also had to go through divorce.

I married my husband because in my eyes he was a hard working, perspective man among other his qualities. So, the temporarily difficulties did not scare me at all. When I married him our house was not half complete, the part of the house even did not have dry walls. We have done it together, now we are working on another building - our studio, and we have been doing it without any bank loans and I'm very proud of ourselves. 

[Doll]

Чукча- не читатель.

[Donna_Pedro]

A concept of equal money contribution is idiotic.
As I stated before, if two incomes are needed almost immediately to make ends meet, I suggest not looking for a FSU wife. 

100%. This needs to be added to "basic rules to know before you start thinking about meeting a foreign wife".

[Donna_Pedro]

There is different type of women. Some are looking for a partner to create a family, some are  looking  solely for a sponsor and provider of a better life or just "a mule" and of course many other groups I guess. I really don't know what kind of group of women prevails in the MOB industry.

It is a  very typical mistake -to confuse money contributions with partnership in a relationship.  I do not remember the name of that story by A. Chekhov, where a very rich man was so much under his wife's heel that he could not choose what to order for dinner if she did not approve of it. As it turned out he picked her off the streets years ago, cleaned her up, married her and.. oops, 10 years later he has no saying in any family decisions.  Equal contributions to the budget does not ensure partnership in a relationship. My relationship with my husband is no different now when I am working from 7 years ago when he was a sole provider of good life.

[OlgaH]

It is a  very typical mistake -to confuse money contributions with partnership in a relationship.
Equal contributions to the budget does not ensure partnership in a relationship.

I 100% agree as a healthy relationship can not be based just on the budjet.

[Muzh]

AW are not all the same. There are millions of pretty, thin, educated, sexy, happy,
NOT cRaZy, not man hater American women. However most of them are married to very happy men. By the time a man gets my age, the percentage of women with all these desirable traits that are available gets very low indeed.


I like AW and they seem to like me as well. However finding a large pool of pretty,
thin, clever, educated, feminine, sexy, happy, non crazy, non manhating women it seems can only be found in the FSU.

Bill, this is not a response directed at you but more for the general population searching a woman from the former Soyuz and one that many guys here totally ignore.

Notice the highlighted statement you made. This is the key. By the time you get to your age.

When this happens you cannot go after the girls you went after when you were young because you know she will find you ( you in general) as a dirty old man. Unless you are loaded, and still. When you get to your age, many good looking and available women which are appropriate age-wise to your age already have been through the same thing you are offering them and they are looking for something else. There is a very good reason they are in the situation they are so going back is not an option.

Enter the younger lass from an economically disadvantaged country trying to find a better life for her and her child or future child. A total stranger offers to provide what she is looking for. She knows nothing about this guy, his culture, traditions, language. All she knows is that he says he has the means of providing what she is looking for and she is willing to "lower the bar" for her to attain what is a priority in her life. All she can do is pray she gets lucky. No, not like THAT lucky.

So, who is having the unrealistic expectation?

Let's discuss.

[2tallbill]

Bill, this is not a response directed at you but more for the general population searching a woman from the former Soyuz and one that many guys here totally ignore.

Notice the highlighted statement you made. This is the key. By the time you get to your age.

When this happens you cannot go after the girls you went after when you were young because you know she will find you ( you in general) as a dirty old man. Unless you are loaded, and still. When you get to your age, many good looking and available women which are appropriate age-wise to your age already have been through the same thing you are offering them and they are looking for something else. There is a very good reason they are in the situation they are so going back is not an option.

Enter the younger lass from an economically disadvantaged country trying to find a better life for her and her child or future child. A total stranger offers to provide what she is looking for. She knows nothing about this guy, his culture, traditions, language. All she knows is that he says he has the means of providing what she is looking for and she is willing to "lower the bar" for her to attain what is a priority in her life. All she can do is pray she gets lucky. No, not like THAT lucky.

So, who is having the unrealistic expectation?

Let's discuss.

I agree with you.



In addition a younger girl won't have many of the life experiences that would
be incredibly helpful to succeed in such an already and difficult complicated
endeavor.


Here is my theory. Young girls are like bread baked in the oven for 15 minutes.
The bread looks very good on the outside, but it's not done yet on the inside.
Luckily they have attractive, educated, clever, funny and interesting FSUW that
are available at (nearly) all ages

[Eduard]

Bill, this is not a response directed at you but more for the general population searching a woman from the former Soyuz and one that many guys here totally ignore.

Notice the highlighted statement you made. This is the key. By the time you get to your age.

When this happens you cannot go after the girls you went after when you were young because you know she will find you ( you in general) as a dirty old man. Unless you are loaded, and still. When you get to your age, many good looking and available women which are appropriate age-wise to your age already have been through the same thing you are offering them and they are looking for something else. There is a very good reason they are in the situation they are so going back is not an option.

Enter the younger lass from an economically disadvantaged country trying to find a better life for her and her child or future child. A total stranger offers to provide what she is looking for. She knows nothing about this guy, his culture, traditions, language. All she knows is that he says he has the means of providing what she is looking for and she is willing to "lower the bar" for her to attain what is a priority in her life. All she can do is pray she gets lucky. No, not like THAT lucky.

So, who is having the unrealistic expectation?

Let's discuss.

Muzh, although you have a point there, I've got to tell you that about half of my clients are under 40 (some even under 30 and early 30s) good looking, in great shape and good earners (80K and up).  Yet they have the same experience trying to find an AW for marriage as 2tallBeeeel describes. I agree with his (Beeel's) post a 100%. I agree that there are wonderful, beautiful women here in the US but they are taken and their men hold on tight to them because unlike in Russia there aren't another 5 of them just waiting around the corner.


I also think that the obesity epidemic makes a big impact by taking 1/3d of the available women out of the market for most men since IMO most men prefer normal weight women. I mean, if a man likes overweight women, he really doesn't have a problem finding plenty to date or marry here in the US. Around here I see plenty of couples of all ages where the guy is attractive in good shape while his wife is very obese and very unattractive. Some people like to talk about WM RW couples not looking believable together because of the age gap or disparity in looks. What about these American couples where the guy is tall, handsome, in great shape and his wife is obese and really unattractive? My wife still can't get used to seeing couples like that and we see them quite often here in Tampa Bay.

[Muzh]

Muzh, although you have a point there, I've got to tell you that about half of my clients are under 40 (some even under 30 and early 30s) good looking, in great shape and good earners (80K and up).  Yet they have the same experience trying to find an AW for marriage as 2tallBeeeel describes. I agree with his (Beeel's) post a 100%. I agree that there are wonderful, beautiful women here in the US but they are taken and their men hold on tight to them because unlike in Russia there aren't another 5 of them just waiting around the corner.


I also think that the obesity epidemic makes a big impact by taking 1/3d of the available women out of the market for most men since IMO most men prefer normal weight women. I mean, if a man likes overweight women, he really doesn't have a problem finding plenty to date or marry here in the US. Around here I see plenty of couples of all ages where the guy is attractive in good shape while his wife is very obese and very unattractive. Some people like to talk about WM RW couples not looking believable together because of the age gap or disparity in looks. What about these American couples where the guy is tall, handsome, in great shape and his wife is obese and really unattractive? My wife still can't get used to seeing couples like that and we see them quite often here in Tampa Bay.

Some how I find this so hard to believe coming from the Sunshine State. 

[2tallbill]

According to the American Heart Association


Nearly 54.3% of women in Florida are obese and overweight.


read all about it here
http://www.heart.org/idc/groups/heart-public/@wcm/@adv/documents/downloadable/ucm_301659.pdf

[Boethius]

. . . while 73.6% of Florida men are overweight or obese -
 
http://www.statehealthfacts.org/profileind.jsp?rgn=11&cat=2&ind=90
 
I take those stats with a bit of a grain of salt, though.
 
By BMI (the standard "measure" in determining obesity rates), he is significantly overweight -

[TheTraveler]

Doll, that's right "I wrote contributing financially" what is wrong with that? Did I right equally? No. 

Doll, I think you understand that the divorce is not so cheap procedure in the US. As many members here my husband also had to go through divorce.

I married my husband because in my eyes he was a hard working, perspective man among other his qualities. So, the temporarily difficulties did not scare me at all. When I married him our house was not half complete, the part of the house even did not have dry walls. We have done it together, now we are working on another building - our studio, and we have been doing it without any bank loans and I'm very proud of ourselves.

great story, olga!!

'big ups' to both you and your husband!!

[2tallbill]

I take those stats with a bit of a grain of salt, though.

Agreed,

[calmissile]

Olga,
Thumbs up to both of you.  You should be proud of yourselves.  It's nice to hear 'no sniveling' from a FSUW!

I am curious, how long did it take you in the US to convert to a pleasant personality and 'nice' English?

[pitbull]

Olga,

I am curious, how long did it take you in the US to convert to a pleasant personality and 'nice' English?

Do you presume that Olga's personality wasn't pleasant back in Russia and it took living in America to convert to a pleasant one???
 

[Doll]

Olga,
Thumbs up to both of you.  You should be proud of yourselves.  It's nice to hear 'no sniveling' from a FSUW!

I am curious, how long did it take you in the US to convert to a pleasant personality and 'nice' English?

How do you know she had an "unpleasant personality"?

[calmissile]

Don't get your hackles up ladies..... I should have worded it:
How long did I take you to develop a pleasant personality in your speech and English writing.

[Doll]

Don't get your hackles up ladies..... I should have worded it:
How long did I take you to develop a pleasant personality in your speech 

For me it is same  as speech is how "personality" is expressed in writing.
The key word is still "developed"   which implies that before it was "not pleasant"))

[pitbull]

For me it is same  as speech is how "personality" is expressed in writing.
The key word is still "developed"   which implies that before it was "not pleasant"))

Agree!
 
Olga, please tell us the truth!!! Were you a wicked woman before America?