Are Women's Opinions Really Welcome Here?

[Doll]

Sandro, dear, do you want the translation of "туши свет"? 

[Daveman]

Well, a good thing is- Vasilisa didn't go back 

I think it was only because the "pool' didn't have enough time to raise the money! 

I don't suffer because I am ESL teacher (since 1981). I know what it is to speak "second language". It was acually my first "surprise" in the USA- how people are NOT tollerant to accents and mistakes.

Russian accents are se.. er.. pretty.. and the mistakes are endearing.. though'll I'll admit there are some accents which are not so attractive.  The indigenous Southern Drawl from my own area being one.

It happens on this board regularly when AM show us how we are not perfect in English.
I know this trick- it shows their (AM) ignorance.
I don't remember you, Dave, do it, just because I forgive Amer. ignorance.
BTW, if you do remember you did it for me- it means you did it to purposely  hurt.

Doll, I've been thinking about this and I think I finally got it... no, I don't remember.. 

[Fashionista]

I'd also say that guy had some sort of personal problems (he was Black)

I am so getting my popcorn ready. 

[SANDRO43]

Just a small revenge for "two mm"

Poor arithmetics, too: that'd be mmmm .

Sandro, dear, do you want the translation of "туши свет"? 

That'd be "Lights Out", IINM. Going to sleep ?

[Doll]

I am so getting my popcorn ready. 

I have a spare тазик
Is Ed awake?

[Donna_Pedro]

I know it. I am very tough so there s no way I get offended or upset (don't even think about it

after 10 years on RW forums and on immigrant forums in general? You  either grow a pair  [size=78%] or you are out. Actually I love emotional responses. It makes me think I am effective. [/size]

[Doll]

That'd be "Lights Out", IINM. Going to sleep ?

Ok, one more try- actually, the whole expression is "Туши свет, бросай гранату"
I doubt you can sleep then 

[Fashionista]

I have a spare тазик
Is Ed awake?

Aww, turns out I gotta go...
Happy Easter all

[ML]

On the home page of  RWD there are many things stated why this community is a great place to learn and share experiences, to get advice and to give advice from different perspectives.


We are also fortunate that our membership includes a number of Russian women, both living there and here, who provide us with their invaluable perspective on how this venture is viewed from the "other" side.
 

When I joined this group, I had an understanding that the women in this group had a unique perspective on the whole FSU dating pursuit. As such, I was under the impression that the opinions they expressed were of great value and held in high regard as men simply can not get this view point any other way.

I enjoy the ladies comments very much and although I do not always agree with them , I can understand that all of us are just giving our own opinions to try to bring a broader understanding of our cultures and the poeple who comprise them.


Over the last several days, I have participated in and kept out of some pretty heated discussions. MOst of them being about entitlement and expectations.   These have brought out some very strong emotions from the participants and have opened up some views that I don't think some memebers wanted to see for what they were.

there was a lady who introduced herself as a divorced Russian woman, who was in a bad marriage and wanted to participate in the RWD and meet some people and give some opinions, just like most of us do. Her name was  Vasilisa and She was the  lonely poster who's thread had an amazing number of Views of her introduction thread in comparison to any similar threads. 
As she became more comfortable with voicing her true feelings, her posts became more and more ..  Direct and  to the point.  She was very good about not candy coating her expressions.  As such she got a lot of resistance from the members here ( myself included ) , which made for some great arguments.
An argument is a healthy thing if it is kept constructive IMO

However something very troubling happened two days ago , and not one word has been spoken about  her, or what  happened since. I feel this matter needs attention because I kind of hope that RWD is a fair and balanced place for the exchange of ideas, ideals, and opinions, and not a place where people get attacked because some one doesn't want to accept another persons view point as , just a view point.




This is the last We saw of this woman.
I have already expressed my feelings  about this on that particular thread.
But other than a a few brief sentences by Gator,  nothing was said by anyone.



Is that ok?  Is telling a FSU woman living in america to go back to her own country because we dislike her opinion and viewpoint how we deal with Women?  I personally find this unacceptable disrespectful.


then later on

Ghost of Moon Goddess  Wrote
 


There are numerous other examples of this feeling becoming common to the women on this site.

Why?

Maybe  I am missing something?



Jason

Jason, two points.

1) You haven't been around long enough to be totally familiar with a large number of prior threads and with the comments contained therein.  So you don't have a complete picture of the 'fairness' with which women or men have been treated here, both by their own gender and by those of the opposite gender.  An unbiased reader over many years would conclude that the female posters here have been much more disrespectful to the men than vice versa.

2) And in general there is a distinct tendency by men to be the protectors of women.  (Women don't have this tendency toward men [relatives excepted], so skewed results) These men will stand (sit or whatever) idly by while the women unmercifully trash a man; and yet recoil in horror when they see a man doing the same to a woman.  In the most kind interpretation, such men don't really notice the terrible things that are being said about other men and view through rose colored glasses.  The alternative interpretation is that such men are the epitome of the PWed man and are to be pitied.

[Donna_Pedro]

Ok, one more try- actually, the whole expression is "Туши свет, бросай гранату"
I doubt you can sleep then 

а я не знала, что у "туши свет" есть продолжение..

[Doll]

а я не знала, что у "туши свет" есть продолжение..

yes, there is the second part. I hope to have Sandro back by tomorrow.

[SANDRO43]

Ok, one more try- actually, the whole expression is "Туши свет, бросай гранату"

An online translator gave me: "Extinguish light, throw a pomegranate"


Are you going to throw some fresh fruit around ?
There are well-established self-defense techniques for that, you know :

[Vasilisa]

I think it was only because the "pool' didn't have enough time to raise the money! 

Yeah, I figured out you were going to ask the number of my banking account and the full name

[Faux Pas]

I don't suffer because I am ESL teacher (since 1981). I know what it is to speak "second language". It was acually my first "surprise" in the USA- how people are NOT tollerant to accents and mistakes.
It happens on this board regularly when AM show us how we are not perfect in English.
I know this trick- it shows their (AM) ignorance.
I don't remember you, Dave, do it, just because I forgive Amer. ignorance.
BTW, if you do remember you did it for me- it means you did it to purposely  hurt.

Bullshit  An occasional over anal poster might point out some grammatical errors or mistakes of FSUW posting but, by in large most AM here never make mention of  and understand them. Please provide some examples? Aren't you being a bit over dramatic for effect here?

[Vasilisa]

I am so getting my popcorn ready. 

Now what?
I meant he had problems because he obviously suffered that he wasn't that popular among the AW and didn't look like a decent guy to them (my impression was) and he felt like a king dating imigrants and putting them down, it was VERY obvious and made him look pathetic.
Don't even start that trying to accuse me of being a rasist as I am not, if the guy behaves, has some sort of values and manners I am fine with him no matter what he looks like.
If he sees me for the first time and in a couple of phrases starts saying something like:"You , Russians, always complain that you are not liked by anybody, but it's your fault your are not liked by anybody..." and he is doing the same with other people like Chinese, Indians , etc it is obvious he has some sort of problems. That was why I am saying: if you are sure in yourself and a strong person you never raise your self-estimation at the cost of of putting someone down.
PS: I never mentioned we, Russians, are not liked and never complained, so there wasn't any reason for him to start that.

[Faux Pas]

Now what?
I meant he had problems because he obviously suffered that he wasn't that popular among the AW and didn't look like a decent guy to them (my impression was) and he felt like a king dating imigrants and putting them down, it was VERY obvious and made him look pathetic.
Don't even start that trying to accuse me of being a rasist as I am not, if the guy behaves, has some sort of values and manners I am fine with him no matter what he looks like.
If he sees me for the first time and in a couple of phrases starts saying something like:"You , Russians, always complain that you are not liked by anybody, but it's your fault your are not liked by anybody..." and he is doing the same with other people like Chinese, Indians , etc it is obvious he has some sort of problems. That was why I am saying: if you are sure in yourself and a strong person you never raise your self-estimation at the cost of of putting someone down.
PS: I never mentioned we, Russians, are not liked and never complained, so there wasn't any reason for him to start that.

Do you ever just recognize when someone has a personal problem, it is their own and leaving them alone without comment? 

[Jack]

Russian women expressing their opinions and views on this site, and one other site, I know has helped me to help educate a lot of men.   

If foreign men think Russian women are sweet things that can be dispelled rather quickly. I have collected many expressions and statements of one Ukraine woman who post here and on another site.  I have put together a portfolio of this woman's expressions and statements and shown to many foreign men as to the type of Ukraine woman they could end up with if they are not careful.  What an eye opener for many of these men.    The exact same type woman they are hoping not to find in Ukraine or Russia.

[Doll]

An online translator gave me: "Extinguish light, throw a pomegranate"
 

Are you going to throw some fresh fruit around ?
 

Well, it is

[Donna_Pedro]

What an eye opener for many of these men.    The exact same type woman they are hoping not to find in Ukraine or Russia.

The time  of "Turgenev-style women" has passed. We are becoming more and more like our western "colleges" only more vicious.

[Vasilisa]

The time  of "Turgenev-style women" has passed. We are becoming more and more like our western "colleges" only more vicious.

I was like that before I got married.
Now I am  less loyal, less patient, more cynical and don't believe in fairy tales. Who is at fault?

[SANDRO43]

Well, it is

I could have guessed, Doll . That type is known as the pineapple granade .

[newjason]

Jason, two points.

1) You haven't been around long enough to be totally familiar with a large number of prior threads and with the comments contained therein.  So you don't have a complete picture of the 'fairness' with which women or men have been treated here, both by their own gender and by those of the opposite gender.  An unbiased reader over many years would conclude that the female posters here have been much more disrespectful to the men than vice versa.

2) And in general there is a distinct tendency by men to be the protectors of women.  (Women don't have this tendency toward men [relatives excepted], so skewed results) These men will stand (sit or whatever) idly by while the women unmercifully trash a man; and yet recoil in horror when they see a man doing the same to a woman.  In the most kind interpretation, such men don't really notice the terrible things that are being said about other men and view through rose colored glasses.  The alternative interpretation is that such men are the epitome of the PWed man and are to be pitied.

This is why I ask questions, because I am relatively new.

As far as the tendency, you may be right.  You see, I think everyone has a different threshold, for what is tolerable, and where it crosses a line to intolerable.  It's even lower on the internet.

[Darth_Budda]

The time  of "Turgenev-style women" has passed. We are becoming more and more like our western "colleges" only more vicious.

Ooo boy,,, Don't destroy our dreams!! 

JK

[Vasilisa]

Do you ever just recognize when someone has a personal problem, it is their own and leaving them alone without comment? 

Well, if they ask for my opinion I can express my opinion, like I do on the forum. If they don't I just smile and leave, I never  in person. It's better to avoid conflicts and stay healthy.

[newjason]

Well, I checked my mailbox this morning and it was full of letters, I got curious what was going on in here 

Welcome back. 

out of curiousness, how many PM's did you get?