Dating AW (kisses, sex, qualities)

[Vasilisa]

Got curious and decided to ask.
A question to the men who used to date AW in the US. How soon would you expect to have the first kiss (on  lips), sex, how much time do you need to realize that you are ready to propose and what are the main qualities women MUST have that persuade you that she will be a good wife?

[LAman]

Got curious and decided to ask.
A question to the men who used to date AW in the US. How soon would you expect to have the first kiss (on  lips), sex, how much time do you need to realize that you are ready to propose and what are the main qualities women MUST have that persuade you that she will be a good wife?

Used to date?? 
I still think there is nothing wrong with AW......I don't see what many guys say about AW...at least not where I'm live. But let me answer.....first kiss can be anywhere from first date(meeting) to several dates depending on how strong attraction is.
Sex....depends on the girl.......guys are RWand A......
Proposing depends on the individuals, personally, I need time to get to know girl and could take a year, others can be ready rather quickly. I just don't want to make a mistake.
A 'good wife'? Lots of patience, understanding, love and support.............a nice slender body is a plus!
 

[Darth_Budda]

1) Kiss - first date "First official date" I always dated women who were friends first... 

2) Sex - second or third sleepover.. when the booze came out   

3) Marriage - That one is up in the air to many factors.. 2-3 years with my first wife. 
when we started to talk about kids..

Many younger Americans Skip step 3

[XMan]

Got curious and decided to ask.
A question to the men who used to date AW in the US. How soon would you expect to have the first kiss (on  lips), sex, how much time do you need to realize that you are ready to propose and what are the main qualities women MUST have that persuade you that she will be a good wife?

Regardless of whether it is AW, RW, UW or some other W, if there is no real affection / interest sensed by the end of the third (or at most fourth) date, it is usually pointless to pursue anything other than friendship.  There are, however, always exceptions.

I have friends (AW/AM) who became engaged after 3 months, and they have been married 12 years.  I have friends who dated for 5 years, got married, and it barely lasted 6 months.  My point is that I am uncertain as to whether timeline has any significant impact on overall longevity. 

I think the list of qualities a woman must have are going to vary significantly dependent upon who you ask.  Most everyone says intelligence, sense of humor, etc.  I think it is perhaps more important to identify the unacceptable traits, because it is the unacceptable traits that are most damaging, rather than a lack of some preferred trait. 

A woman who is high-maintenance quickly becomes exasperating, regardless of other positive qualities she might have.

[Vasilisa]

I understand that people are different and each case is unique, I am just trying to get a general idea.
What is expected by majority.

Speaking about me , well, for example if I am dating the person  who I met on the website, I know nothing of (he is not a friend) I don't even understand how can you have a kiss with him on the first date.
And chemistry and my liking him  has nothing to do with it, it's just a simple measure of precaution and staying healthy.
I am not an animal to jump on the person because I have instant chemistry with him and get some some of STD, I want to save myself healthy for the one who is the one.

[calmissile]

1.  First kiss on lips.... Probably by 2nd meeting (not necessarily a date).  If no chemistry between the two of you it is apparent by then.
2.  Sex...................... Depends on whether there a religious reasons to restrain it.  If not, by 2nd or 3rd date.  Chemistry creates the mutual desire.
3.  Time to proposal...  Anywhere from 3 months to never.  Culture in US has changed a lot over past 40 years.  Many no longer view it necessary to get married to share a life together.
4.  Qualities required... Someone being more into you than herself.  Nice boobs, flowing long blond hair, knowing how to dance, are all pluses. 

[Vasilisa]

I have also heard the professional american matchmaker who said that if he doesn't propose within 9 months' time to leave him and move on. Like it's the time when you can know the person well enough and if the guy doesn't do that it means he has some sort of problems with you or personal problems with himself: like he is too scared, he can;t make a decision easily, he is immature, you are his plan B and he is looking for a better one.
What do you think about it?

[BC]

Kiss, sex.. anytime.

Marriage is a result and not a goal so takes much longer.. in fact many times a topic to be avoided all together.

[Darth_Budda]

I have also heard the professional american matchmaker who said that if he doesn't propose within 9 months' time to leave him and move on. Like it's the time when you can know the person well enough and if the guy doesn't do that it means he has some sort of problems with you or personal problems with himself: like he is too scared, he can;t make a decision easily, he is immature, you are his plan B and he is looking for a better one.
What do you think about it?

For people our age,, No way!!!!

The matchmaker is wrong,,, IMHO

Like I said a lot of people don't want to marry in the USA,, It just causes issues...
The only reason I got married is because we were talking about kids...

Now if you are older This might be different...

It all depends on the people though.
Different strokes for different folks...

[calmissile]

I have also heard the professional american matchmaker who said that if he doesn't propose within 9 months' time to leave him and move on. Like it's the time when you can know the person well enough and if the guy doesn't do that it means he has some sort of problems with you or personal problems with himself: like he is too scared, he can;t make a decision easily, he is immature, you are his plan B and he is looking for a better one.
What do you think about it?

Your American Matchmaker is making the assumption that both parties are seeking to find a wife rather than a soulmate or living together arrangement.  I don't think most AM are really out hunting for a wife anymore.  They are more likely looking for someone compatible to share quality time with in a monogamous relationship and then if it leads to marriage, so be it.  It also seems to be the same attitude of many AW nowdays.

[ML]

I have also heard the professional american matchmaker who said that if he doesn't propose within 9 months' time to leave him and move on.

It is like Cal said: Many no longer view it necessary to get married to share a life together.

If the gal is in FSU and man in USA, then  marriage is mostly the only way you are going to be together long-term.

But if both parties are in USA or FSU, then marriage doesn't have to happen.

My advice to FSUW in USA:  Stop thinking about marriage.  Make a career for  yourself, work at being able to support yourself financially.  View men as interesting people to be with for themselves rather than as someone who will support you  financially.

[calmissile]

The divorce laws and lawyers have created such a liability for men in divorces that marriage is avoided by a lot of men that would otherwise be very happy in a traditional happy marriage.

This is why so many couples are living together without marriage and also why prenuptial agreements are so common.

[Vasilisa]

I have also heard the professional american matchmaker who said that if he doesn't propose within 9 months' time to leave him and move on. Like it's the time when you can know the person well enough and if the guy doesn't do that it means he has some sort of problems with you or personal problems with himself: like he is too scared, he can;t make a decision easily, he is immature, you are his plan B and he is looking for a better one.
What do you think about it?

Your American Matchmaker is making the assumption that both parties are seeking to find a wife rather than a soulmate or living together arrangement.  I don't think most AM are really out hunting for a wife anymore.  They are more likely looking for someone compatible to share quality time with in a monogamous relationship and then if it leads to marriage, so be it.  It also seems to be the same attitude of many AW nowdays.

she is not my one, she is a host of a  tv show

[Vasilisa]

modern American TV show

[Gator]

Got curious and decided to ask.
A question to the men who used to date AW in the US. How soon would you expect to have the first kiss (on  lips), sex, how much time do you need to realize that you are ready to propose ....

Good question that will awaken the horn dogs!
 
The older I got the more time it seem to require......for the proposal part.   
 
Seriously, kissing and sex just happen without regard to time.  If she is feeling it and I am feeling it, and the chemistry and signals between us are strong -time is not an issue. 
 
 
I thought at first that you were concerned that some men would think bad about you if you had sex on first date?   Some men will.  Jack is one such man.  So in case you date such men, use the three date rule.   

Then I read this:

And chemistry and my liking him  has nothing to do with it, it's just a
simple measure of precaution and staying healthy. I am not an animal to jump on the person because I have instant chemistry with him and get some some of STD, I want to save myself healthy for the one who is the one. 

Safe sex!
 
If not ready for sex on the first date, I suggest that you not drive to  the levee and watch the river mist rise under a bright moon.   

...what are the main qualities women MUST have that persuade you that she will be a good wife?

Other than mutual love, I would have to feel that she is a really good friend.  I made a mistake once by stressing the former too much.  I made another mistake when stressing the latter.   
 
 
 
 

[calmissile]

If not ready for sex on the first date, I suggest that you not drive to  the levee and watch the river mist rise under a bright moon.   

Good idea.  In Seattle we used to go to the bluff and watch the 'submarine races'.     

[Gator]

View men as interesting people to be with for themselves rather than as someone who will support you  financially.

If you love someone, I believe they are more than "interesting people to be with."  And if you love someone, you happily take care of them.  Sheeeesh ML, when did romance fly out the window in your life?

I treasure waking up in the morning  next to the woman I love. 
 
I have a single friend.   He buys female companionship on a monthly basis. His women are younger than my woman.  He has more money than me.    He wakes up alone.

[Vasilisa]

The divorce laws and lawyers have created such a liability for men in divorces that marriage is avoided by a lot of men that would otherwise be very happy in a traditional happy marriage.

But THAT'S THE POINT!
It means these people are not compatible.
If the guy is not proposing thinking:"Ok, I will marry her,but if we get divorced i will have to go through a lot of problems....."

It means that you are dating the guy who is not marrying you because he thinks that you may get divorced.
In other words, he is NOT SURE.

I need the guy who is SURE that we will never get divorced and is completely sure in our feelings, so he is not afraid to propose.
I think I should remove the profile and start visiting the Church on a regular basis
 

Would I like to be a "CONVENIENT" girl for the guy: we are friends and we have sex sometimes, I am happy. I need the guy to "make a nest with", who is afraid of losing me, and who is sure that we will never get divorced, to whom I am the one, but not just a convenient girl that makes his life more comfortable.

[Vasilisa]

Gator, would I like to have a husband who doesn't care if his wife takes care of her or his health and their kids one but just wants to make sure she has the same level of attraction?! Errr, no. 
Nobody has cancelled herpes and other diseases.

[Vasilisa]

So, that's interesting, the guy is SURE that he has a desire to have sex with the girl, so it measn that she must have the same desire, if she doesn't have sex with him that's not his girl and he has to break up.

But if the girl feels like she is ready to marry the guy and he is not proposing does it mean she should break up, too, because he obviousy doesn't have the same feelings?

[Darth_Budda]

But THAT'S THE POINT!
It means these people are not compatible.
If the guy is not proposing thinking:"Ok, I will marry her,but if we get divorced i will have to go through a lot of problems....."

It means that you are dating the guy who is not marrying you because he thinks that you may get divorced.
In other words, he is NOT SURE.

I need the guy who is SURE that we will never get divorced and is completely sure in our feelings, so he is not afraid to propose.
I think I should remove the profile and start visiting the Church on a regular basis
 

Would I like to be a "CONVENIENT" girl for the guy: we are friends and we have sex sometimes, I am happy. I need the guy to "make a nest with", who is afraid of losing me, and who is sure that we will never get divorced, to whom I am the one, but not just a convenient girl that makes his life more comfortable.

I don't know if that is the only reason,,,

I think the society in america almost encourages you to Waite..

I think a lot depends on age... In america mid 30's is the marriage time.
early and late 20's it is discouraged..

I mean listen to all of us,,, We are only a product of our environment. We are all saying Waite.. Is that how we really feel or is that what society has taught us....

If I meet a wonderful girl I would marry her as soon as I knew it felt right...
But friends, family and social norms in the USA would say STOP!!!

Are we wrong or is it the TV lady.. We all know how if they say it on TV it must be true...

So much of ones ideals and attitude comes from the world around us but when it comes right to it we do what feels right...

[GQBlues]

Got curious and decided to ask.
A question to the men who used to date AW in the US. How soon would you expect to have the first kiss (on  lips), sex...

Expect? Why ruin the fun, impulse, stimulation and something so innate by encapsulating it in some odd form of linearity.
 
Quickest time it took me to be kissed - one second. At a party, I was walking behind a cute gal and I reached out to touched her hand to get her attention. She turned around, looked at me and kissed me before I can say anything. I can hear my buddies walking behind say "Fudge! why can't that 's' ever happen to me?"...
 
Second quickest time, 30 seconds...I approached a group of 3 women because they were the cutest bunch in the room. As I was speaking to one of them, the other just jumped in and locked lips with me.
 
My frist trip to Russia, the first gal I met I tried to get a feel how things will be with RWs IN Russia. First date. She sent me SMS soon after she got back home that read: "I like to kiss Matteo". The rest of the women were no different and they all knew I was there to meet multiple women....
 
Kisses and sex happens with women in the same context and the same way the world over. Based on my experience, it happesn exactly the same way with AWs as they do with RWs while I was in Russia. Same in Western Europe as they are in CE, or anywhere I've ever been.
 
I know some stiff turd in the crowd is going to spin what I'm saying into their own classification for no other reason it just doesn't happen in their world/them.
 

...what are the main qualities women MUST have that persuade you that she will be a good wife?

When she comes along and she does what she does. Think the way she do. Speak and act in the manner she does, etc...you'll know it's time. The right woman have that subconscious perfect balance about her that moves you.
 
Beyond the lust, the sex and all the fun, that is what will separate her from all the rest.
 

...I still think there is nothing wrong with AW......I don't see what many guys say about AW...at least not where I'm live....

I agree 100%!

[Vasilisa]

I know several American couples here, most of them are in their 50+ but I know one young one, they are even younger than me.

My father proposed to my mom 2 months after they met, she seemed to be a decent woman to him, not a party girl type, she kept her apartment clean, cooked well, etc, they met in a students' hostel, when he knew there was another guy who was interested in her he proposed immediately as he was afraid to lose her.
They are still married, have a  very good relationship.

Another couple: American one: they both are 52. He is a corporate executive, she is a housewife. They met when they both were 22, she lived with her parents and had a 4 months old child from another guy who had left her when he knew she'd got pregnant. That guy proposed to her in about 3 months' time and they are still married, 3 kids, one of the most loving couples I've seen here.

The young American couple: in their 20-ies. She has a 2 year old child from another man, lives with her parents and goes to college. They met last summe and started going to Church together, they also decided not to have sex till they are married, this January he got promoted and has a really nice job right now, 3 weeks ago he proposed to her and it sounds like he has a big plan about how to take care of her  and their child.

So far everybody is talking about the men's biology in the term of sexual drive, but how about another males feature-an inborn hunter.  It means that if he cares and he is afraid of losing he just wants to get it no matter what.  And it doesn't matter if she has a kid with another man, is she is poor, has an accent, an immigrant, has sex with him, doesn't have sex with him, etc...

My example: 3 years old dating, a proposal, a soon divorce.

The point is: be yourself, keep on looking, there's the man who will appreciate it no matter what without giving any explanations like:I don't see the future together as you didn't have sex with me on the third date: It means you are not interested.

[ML]

 
If she is feeling it and I am feeling it, and the chemistry and signals between us are strong -time is not an issue. 

Man and woman sitting at bar drinking, having just met at the bar.

They are having a good time drinking and talking.

But as the drinking continues, the man says:  I must be careful with additional drinks because I think I might start to feel it.

Woman: I must be careful also because I think I will let you.

[Vasilisa]

 
My frist trip to Russia, the first gal I met I tried to get a feel how things will be with RWs IN Russia. First date. She sent me SMS soon after she got back home that read: "I like to kiss Matteo". The rest of the women were no different and they all knew I was there to meet multiple women....
 

You believe everything  women say?!