From Heaven to Hell... with a broken heart.

[Patagonie]

One more thought that may assist you. 

If you present yourself as a 'Good Friend' instead of someone seeking a relationship or a wife, it gives you the opportunity to discern what the woman is there for without having to give away the family treasures.  Moreover, in your own mind, if you are looking for friendship first, you will not be so willing to yield the types of things you gave to this woman.

If you're on a MOB website and chatting it up with someone, but play the friendship card, everyone still knows what you're there for.  Explain that you have been taken to the woodshed by a woman and that you really could use friendship.  It is a wonderful opening for conversation.

The women who are really there to find their sould mates will totally appreciate this.  And it gives them an honest appraisal that you are not going to fall in love with a picture or a skype address.  Instead you will learn about her, while at the same time staying at arm's length.

-j

I don't think, personally, that it a very good advice given.
The path given here is really dangerous.
I want to say intention is good but the "how to do" is a recipe of disaster.

I would translate in an other manner :
Chase blindly women and invest quickly your emotions is dangerous yes, keep the head cold yes.
So the demeanor given by "let them know that you are here for friendship first" is good because it created some distance, it protect you and it gives you a special value (distance can lead more attraction).
yes.

But dating a woman with the idea : we will be friends (i will act like a friend, i will let my balls in a box) first and after if we like each other we will have a relationship is a no no in seduction. I mean that for a part your capacity to attract is correlated largely to be a sexual active male. And friendship is the neutral expression of sexual male expression (in fact no expression). So be careful with those notions and play it carefully, or not too long.
The other thing which worry me is that "Explain that you have been taken to the woodshed by a woman and that you really could use friendship.  It is a wonderful opening for conversation." will put you in the looser category, i am not sure that you are getting mark with women and especially FSU women.

[Gator]

 

I have dated many many american women.  All of them, they would easily tell you, that "Mikey is a very good good man".  But, for some reason, it doesn't work.

 

I guarantee you it is not because of American women.  Look around you.   See the many AM happily married to AW, with a mortgage, two cars, kids, soccer Saturdays for boys, recitals for daughters, social gatherings with friends, intimate joys, saving for kids' education, ........

It is not the fault of AW.   If not AW, who could it be?   You know who it is but you do not know the "why."   If you knew why, you would try to change.  Look in the mirror.  Better yet, stop reading dating books and seek some counseling.
 

So one day, I read a story, a wonderful love story about a RW and WM.   I wanted a women that seeks 'family' over money.

On average RW are more family oriented, yet many are considered materialistic by AM.  There is a thread somewhere about RW being materialistic.   So be careful about whom you select to be the object of your affection.  Do not let your emotions run wild until you know your woman.  Given the cultural and language differences and usually an age gap, it is more difficult to get to know a RW than an AW.  So you have to spend much time with them, more than a week in Hong Kong.
 

  Someone that loves her husband, more than the ability to "go out and drink all night with her girlfrends (It actually happened to me.  I was at home, babysitting the child, and she came home at 7am, still high on drugs).
 

Everybody deserves some free time and fun provided it is innocent.  One indication of true love is being able to let loose, to trust.   Can you do that?  Frankly you impress me as the controlling type.  I guarantee you that most RW who are considering marriage to a foreigner and leaving their country are adventurous and do not want to be put in a gilded cage.

So you see, I actually fell in love with the thought of a RW before I actually met the women that I started to talk to.   I believed in a 'fairy tale'.   i will tell you, just like my ex-girlfriends will tell you, I am a wonderful man.

Then why did they not want you?  It seems that you have no problem in stirring positive feelings in women in the beginning, but then something happens to push them away.  What pushes them away?

[mikeyUSA]

   
Everybody deserves some free time and fun provided it is innocent.  One indication of true love is being able to let loose, to trust.   Can you do that?  Frankly you impress me as the controlling type.  I guarantee you that most RW who are considering marriage to a foreigner and leaving their country are adventurous and do not want to be put in a gilded cage.
Coming home at 2 AM is one thing, but 7 AM on drugs is something else.

Then why did they not want you?  It seems that you have no problem in stirring positive feelings in women in the beginning, but then something happens to push them away.  What pushes them away?
Why do you assume that it was my fault?  Surely it was my fault?
1- 5 years.  We just lost the 'feelings'. No more 'magic'.
2- 3 years.  She turned into a monster when she got drunk.  Very mentally abusive toward me.
3- 2 years.  Liked to come home at 7 AM still high on drugs.
4- 2 years.  Cheated on me.
5- 7 years.  Cheated on me.  7 year itch.
and a couple others...
 

[Shadow]

Do you feel the unluckiest guy on earth that you managed to find all those bad women?

[Jumper]

The short answer is RW arn't some cure to some AW ailment.


There are many good AW. There are some with lots of baggage


It takes a lot of sorting out to find someone special for you.


That will not change if you pursue  RW.
It will be more difficult than domestically in the big picture.
initially it may seem easier meeting quality women.
(A lot of that is because language and cultural difference wont let you be able to tell in 5 short sentences like you can domestically just from how some speaks,nit even what they say.)


if you have any trust issues (caring if some single woman you have never met is  logged onto a dating profile  befor meeting her)
will make a long distance relationship nearly impossible for both parties.


Can you find someone sincere in the FSU?
absolutely.


Loose the fairy tale dreaming, or placing some women in some * perfect partner image*
 in your head , long before you meet!
Skype is simply a communications tool.It doesnt count until youve met in persion, its a means  to see if you WANT to meet each other , thats it.
it is not a relationship.
Neither is a meeting , it can be the beginning of something that might eventually form a relationship, maybe


Mostly it  *seems * this encounter was  putting the cart firmly in front of the horse, in both dating and relationships.
 

[CDW]

I wanted a women that seeks 'family' over money. 

What makes you think Russian women do not want your money? 

[Patagonie]

What makes you think Russian women do not want your money?

[Hammer2722]

What makes you think Russian women do not want your money?

Only the males posing as females maybe????? 

[Gator]

Mikey,
 
You wrote:
 
"Why do you assume that it was my fault?  Surely it was my fault?
1- 5 years.  We just lost the 'feelings'. No more 'magic'.
2- 3 years.  She turned into a monster when she got drunk.  Very mentally abusive toward me.
3- 2 years.  Liked to come home at 7 AM still high on drugs.
4- 2 years.  Cheated on me.
5- 7 years.  Cheated on me.  7 year itch.
and a couple others..."
 
Those add up to 19 years without giving any credit for "a couple others..."  And you are 40 years old. 
I must assume that you have never lived alone, jumping from one woman to the next.   I suggest that you take a break, enjoy some independence, and think about everything.

[Doll]

What makes you think Russian women do not want your money?

Come on! You understand what he means. I'll tell you guys- good family relationships are much more valuable than money. Between money and relationships most RW would choose the latter ( even though wee ARE materialistic))))

[Slumba]

Come on! You understand what he means. I'll tell you guys- good family relationships are much more valuable than money. Between money and relationships most RW would choose the latter ( even though wee ARE materialistic))))

Doll, do not interfere with some of the men's fantasy on this board - all women, everywhere, including American women, Russian women, tribal African women with a big bone in their nose, Eskimo/Inuit women whose diet is 90% whale fat, Peruvian pygmy women - they are all 100% the same!

 

[Doll]

 

[Daveman]

Doll, do not interfere with some of the men's fantasy on this board - all women, everywhere, including American women, Russian women, tribal African women with a big bone in their nose, Eskimo/Inuit women whose diet is 90% whale fat, Peruvian pygmy women - they are all 100% the same!

 

Well then, since RW and AM are incompatible, that must mean that AllW and AM are incompatible!  I knew I shouldda stayes with them sheep... baaaaaaaa  bbaaaaaaaaaaa

[Doll]

AM and AW are compatible.

[Daveman]

AM and AW are compatible.

But they can't be, because:

Doll, do not interfere with some of the men's fantasy on this board - all women, everywhere, including American women, Russian women, tribal African women with a big bone in their nose, Eskimo/Inuit women whose diet is 90% whale fat, Peruvian pygmy women - they are all 100% the same!

 

[Doll]

Ah, ok, I forgot- AW are all b&&&tches, RW are all traditional, pretty and family oriented. ALL RW want to marry American husbands because RM are ALL cheaters. they drink vodka all the time and beat their wives. AM always supportive, wonderful AND smile all the time
(spreading good thinking or what do they spread? Hahaha)
 

[LAman]

Ah, ok, I forgot- AW are all b&&&tches, RW are all traditional, pretty and family oriented. ALL RW want to marry American husbands because RM are ALL cheaters. they drink vodka all the time and beat their wives. AM always supportive, wonderful AND smile all the time
(spreading good thinking or what do they spread? Hahaha)
 

I knew there was someone here that thought exactly as I do!!!!

[Doll]

*Dave is laughing like a crazy*
 

[Doll]

I knew there was someone here that thought exactly as I do!!!!

LA, it is a pure truth (146%)!
 

[Daveman]

Ah, ok, I forgot- AW are all b&&&tches, RW are all traditional, pretty and family oriented. ALL RW want to marry American husbands because RM are ALL cheaters. they drink vodka all the time and beat their wives. AM always supportive, wonderful AND smile all the time
(spreading good thinking or what do they spread? Hahaha)
 

Every piece of propaganda has an element of truth.. and there it is!   

*Dave is laughing like a crazy*
 

Heh!  But Doll isn't, because RW never smile.. or show emotion of any kind..

[LAman]

LA, it is a pure truth (146%)!
 

and nothing but the truth.......so help me.....ummmmmmm...anyone!!!!

[mikeyUSA]

Come on! You understand what he means. I'll tell you guys- good family relationships are much more valuable than money. Between money and relationships most RW would choose the latter ( even though wee ARE materialistic))))

Thank you.  I read a love story from someone else, and I started read about ruissian culture, that RW will put her family before anything else.  AW do not do this. Again, I fell in love with a russian women, before I even seen her profile.  I want this.  I want a women that loves me. i want a women that, if for some reason, I loose my job, she STILL love me.   If I am poor, she will still love me.  I fell in love with the Russian women, before I even met one.

[mikeyUSA]

RW....  again, through everyone here, and again, I started this thread with a heartbreak.... I learn, that I have been "mikeyed". Scammed so she could visit the 'other guy'.  Again, I have learned so much lately.      I am much more stronger now.     Yes, I am sure there were a lot more feeling for her, than her with me.  Yes, I understand that if her child needs money for a doctor, that I will not give it... and yes.....   as someone said tonight at my local pub "She told you, without telling you, that she met someone else, and she is finally moving out of her home town".

I am picking up the peceases, and you guys, out of anyone, have been the most help so far, so please, keep slapping me in the face.

[Patagonie]

Mikey
We are not here to slap anyone on face. Just we try to tell the truth based on our experiences. If i look at me in a mirror and be honest with me (with you), i would say that during my life i have probably made nearly all mistakes you did.

[mikeyUSA]

Hi guys, I know I said I would not view her profile, but I did, and Im sorry.  Here is what she just posted on her profile.

Karembeu ... I fall in love.

Вот бывает, встретишь человека и чувствуешь – это тот, кого ты искал всю свою жизнь. А ему покер, он за хлебом идет.)) ахах
(translation: That's the case, find someone and feel - is the one you been looking for all my life. And he's poker, the bread is.)) Ahah).

..............  So basically,  I just paid to fly this women to another city to meet another guy. She freaking scammed me.  She met him, fell in love, and freaking scammed me.   Freaking scammed me.   I am sooo very angry with her right now for scamming me.