Sad day

[Aloe]

Left hubby, sitting in hotel, dunno what to do with myself    He was being inadequate again in spite of all the conversations we've had, and i promised myself i'd leave if it ever happened again     
What to dooooooooooooo

[Larry1]

Sorry to hear about your situation, Aloe.

What to dooooooooooooo

I suggest focusing on your classes now, then take a trip to explore the US.

[Hammer2722]

Sorry to see your relationship has resulted in this. I hope the best for you. I hope your next steps are not influenced by some of the advice given here. Take your time and think things through. Good luck

[Misha]

Left hubby, sitting in hotel, dunno what to do with myself    He was being inadequate again in spite of all the conversations we've had, and i promised myself i'd leave if it ever happened again     
What to dooooooooooooo

I am really sorry to hear that. However, if he did cross a line that was set and you did tell him that you would not tolerate it ever again, the only real option is for you to leave and live your life.

[Gator]

Left hubby, sitting in hotel, dunno what to do with myself    He was being inadequate again in spite of all the conversations we've had, and i promised myself i'd leave if it ever happened again     
What to dooooooooooooo

Sitting in a hotel!  This says that the two of you were traveling, something you want to do.  And you are planning a trip to America, part of it traveling together.  You must reconcile this before embarking for America.
 
Is his specific action (or perhaps inaction) that you deem "inadequate" something he has done before and he knows that you detest it?

[CanadaMan]

Sitting in a hotel!  This says that the two of you were traveling, something you want to do.  And you are planning a trip to America, part of it traveling together.  You must reconcile this before embarking for America.
 

I read it a different way Gator.

'Sitting in a hotel' as in, 'I left hubby and am now sitting in a hotel with my bags...'.

[Gator]

I read it a different way Gator.

'Sitting in a hotel' as in, 'I left hubby and am now sitting in a hotel with my bags...'.

Now that would indeed be serious.  It is sad that Aloe does not have a friend to turn to and has to go to a hotel.  One should not be alone is such times, but should have the comfort, insight and support of people she can trust.  IMO being alone in emotional times would make her more likely to yield eventually.

[Aloe]

I read it a different way Gator.

'Sitting in a hotel' as in, 'I left hubby and am now sitting in a hotel with my bags...'.

yes, that way

[Gator]

Aloe,
 
Be strong.    Not easy, but you can do it.

[LAman]

Wow....don't know what to say......sadness......thought things were getting better based on planned trip.
Take your time aloe....think.....look at your options...take time....there are plenty of people here to assist you
if needed. We don't know what happened but plenty of ears to listen if that is what you need....I will include you in my prayers, bless you dear....

[LiveFromUkraine]

Aloe, hopefully you can lean on a friend or possible go back for a visit with the family in order to think things through.


You are in my prayers.

[SANDRO43]

Aloe, it'd be useful if you told us where you are now, some of us might be not too far away and able to lend a hand if necessary .

[Muzh]

Aloe, if you are still reading this, call your parents if haven't done this yet.

[mendeleyev]

Aloe, my heart goes out to you. You are in our prayers.

[newjason]

Aloe, if you are still reading this, call your parents if haven't done this yet.

+1
For sure this is the time to confide in your parents.

[GoodOlBoy]

Aloe, it'd be useful if you told us where you are now, some of us might be not too far away and able to lend a hand if necessary .

I think Shadow lives nearby??
If so, maybe he can give her a ride to the airport.
 
GOB

PS.... Godspeed Aloe.

[BillyB]

Left hubby, sitting in hotel, dunno what to do with myself    He was being inadequate again in spite of all the conversations we've had, and i promised myself i'd leave if it ever happened again     
What to dooooooooooooo

I noticed the flag in your profile changed. You not only left hubby, you left the country(Belgium)?


I have a policy if I'm angry or upset. I don't make any major decisions until after 24 hours. Cool down, wait till you get over your emotions so you can make rational decisions.

[knighta]

I noticed the flag in your profile changed. You not only left hubby, you left the country(Belgium)?

Also

• Spouse's Country: Lithuania
• Status: Married > 10 years

I didn't think Aloe had been married that long and Lithuania?  In this thread http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=9540.msg181973#msg181973  it should be at the most Aloe has been married up to four years.


Sorry this happening to you Aloe.

[Shadow]

I think Shadow lives nearby??
If so, maybe he can give her a ride to the airport.
 
GOB

PS.... Godspeed Aloe.

Aleady offered my help. Unfortunately when I read it I had just finished half a bottle of vodka (together with MrsShadow) so I could not travel immediately.
But I offered to help out in any way, be it with her return or reconciliation.

[Aloe]

Well, i surely didn't have a sex change either in the last 24 hours. Just being incospicuous

[Gator]

Well, i surely didn't have a sex change either in the last 24 hours. Just being incospicuous

 
 
Yes, I see that you now have an arrow. 
You have maintained your keen sense of humor during this ordeal.  That is a good sign.

[BillyB]

Well, i surely didn't have a sex change either in the last 24 hours. Just being incospicuous

Funny and it's a good sign you're not 100% angry anymore. Most people think the trip to America will be good for you and hubby. If there is any chance of you two getting back together, you both should go on this trip. I understand your husband has limited funds and you being in a hotel is going to drain your vacation funds. If violence is not part your situation, it's better for you both amend the situation and go on this trip.  With you spending money on a hotel and eating out and maybe he spending money drinking his problems away, you will regret missing out on this trip for many years to come if you two remain married. This incident will blow over but regret can last a lifetime.

[Brianinaz]

I like many here have read your posts and really felt for you. While no one want's to see a relationship crash and burn from what you have written it may be for the best. Again going on what you wrote I didn't see any way you were going to be truly happy in your relationship. Muddle through may be but not truly happy. Digging yourself out of the hole of a failed relationship is a bit like starting an exercising program after being idle for a while. At first it really hurts and is very difficult. With time it gets easier and easier and after a while you look at yourself and are impressed with the results and find it was worth the effort.

[Aloe]

im back with hubby; my mom convinced me to go back;


Hubby for the first time shows signs of actually having thought about the whole ordeal. normally he just agrees to everything i say and puts the whole thing out of his mind in 1 second, but this time when i came home he actually told me his side of the story of the day and his suggestions on how to fix it; so i was so amazed that i inadvertedly agreed to everything, Lol


i told him he ever touch me again ill leave for good


Also went to a psychologist

[Faux Pas]

im back with hubby; my mom convinced me to go back;


Hubby for the first time shows signs of actually having thought about the whole ordeal. normally he just agrees to everything i say and puts the whole thing out of his mind in 1 second, but this time when i came home he actually told me his side of the story of the day and his suggestions on how to fix it; so i was so amazed that i inadvertedly agreed to everything, Lol


i told him he ever touch me again ill leave for good


Also went to a psychologist

Good to hear.    This was actually expected news. Sometimes it requires leaving before true reflection can begin