Starting out and older Ukrainian women

[Misha]

Misha, that wasn't a slam. You've made many posts on the matter. To each his/her own. Frivolous to you is necessity for the next. As long as both man and wife expectations are met, it matters not, does it?

Yes, and that is why I specified that the greatest danger is when strangers meet, marry quickly and have conflicting expectations or are completely oblivious to the expectations of the other...

[Gator]

I started off in my first post explaining that most people over here think that guys who go to Russia are just weirdos who will probably get ripped off over there for their trouble. 
 

And some men and women here at RWD will say we are more than "weirdo."  We are old farts, social rejects, and deviant manipulators of innocent women.
 
 

What would you say were the POSITIVE things about wanting to settle with a Russian woman?

If you enjoy tackling unsolvable puzzles, you will love RW. 
 
Seriously,  if you find the woman ideal for you, as well as you for her, you will be a very happy man.  It all depends upon the woman, and each RW is different.  You can find the same happiness with some UK woman except a UKW probably will be a little older, know your culture, require less work, not be as tidy, not unplug your appliances, not require as many shoes, and not insist that moving air can kill you.

[Misha]

What would you say were the POSITIVE things about wanting to settle with a Russian woman?

The goal should not be to settle with a Russian woman, but to find a woman that you love, a woman who loves you. She might be overseas, she might be down the street. Then, if you have found that woman wherever she may be, both of you will have to decide if you are sufficiently compatible to want to spend the rest of your life together and compatibility includes issues of work, money, spending, etc...

[Faux Pas]

Yes, and that is why I specified that the greatest danger is when strangers meet, marry quickly and have conflicting expectations or are completely oblivious to the expectations of the other...

I agree 

[ML]

To OP;  go here to find the websites you should use to make contact with many FSUW.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

[Muzh]

So in this last case most of the guys on these forums who are not rich, the vast majority, are pursuing an unrealistic dream, at least if they are looking for women over 45, since they would not be able to afford the cost.  Would this be accurate?

I think I have to simplify it for you.

One says that when she gets here you should be able to provide her with a VW Polo in order for GB give her residency and your relationship to succeed.

The other says that when she gets here you should be able to provide her with an Aston Martin Rapide in order for GB give her residency and your relationship to succeed.

Reality is that when she gets here you should be able to provide her with a car in order for GB to give her residency and your relationship to succeed.

(Psst, the car is immaterial. Just for demonstration purposes only)

[Muzh]

The goal should not be to settle with a Russian woman, but to find a woman that you love, a woman who loves you. She might be overseas, she might be down the street. Then, if you have found that woman wherever she may be, both of you will have to decide if you are sufficiently compatible to want to spend the rest of your life together and compatibility includes issues of work, money, spending, etc...

I think he meant to settle down, not settle for.

[Misha]

I think he meant to settle down, not settle for.

Yes, that is how I read it, and my what I wrote applies to settling down with a woman.

[Lily]

What would you say were the POSITIVE things about wanting to settle with a Russian woman?

To put it short, in the best case scenario, you would get a good looking, feminine, classy, cultured, educated lady who would treat you like the most valuable person in her life.

[ML]

To put it short, in the best case scenario, you would get a good looking, feminine, classy, cultured, educated lady who would treat you like the most valuable person in her life.

OK Lily; let's hear your worst case scenario !!   

[Lily]

OK Lily; let's hear your worst case scenario !!   

Suppose that the male members of RWD would be more able to show that rather than me.

[GQBlues]

...Your entire original post here...

In a word 'stigma'.
 
Rightly or wrongly, that's the prevailing attitude of anyone outside the MOB bubble have, either they're in-country or abroad. From the natives to the foreigners. The male participants are as much responsible for this perspective as do the female. Large age disparity is but one cause of the stigma. There are many others.
 
So in short, there are truths in the rumors/information you heard/read. That's the zone you're contemplating on entering. As long as you can maintain some common sense in you and layoff the Kool-aide, you should be fine.

[Ranetka]

  The first is that in the UK, even if you do not find work, you can get an income if you can just show you are looking for work.  This income, though low, is enough. 

First two years after marriage there visa will have condition "no public funds", they will not be allowed to claim benefits unless they are EU citizens (Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia). There are plenty of these contries citizens already in the UK, no need to look abroad.

[Turboguy]

Well, I might as well throw in my two cents worth.   If I had to pick a characteristic that I would never ascribe to a women from the FSU it would be lazy.  Most FSU women amaze me with how hard they are willing to work and how much they can accomplish.  I don't think any woman you would marry from the FSU would not be willing to work.   The problem is more that any language or skills they lack could limit the work they can find.  There are jobs they can do with minimal problems.  It may be watching children or working in a shop.   Most of the guys here seem to prefer to rob the cradle so I have not seen a lot of men marrying women in their 50's.  I can think of one that I know who was a former member here and lives in your country.  He married a woman in about the same age you are looking and she did find work.  I would not say it is an absolute that she would not want to or could not find work.


Most of the women men marry don't have a lot of cash.  I will agree that in the age you are looking she probably owns an apartment but I would not count on her selling it and handing you the cash.  She could rent it out and generate a little cash that way.   I do recall one guy I met over on Visa Journey whose wife was bringing $ 150,000 in cash with her to Alaska.  He was posting about the best way to bring it so there are exceptions. 


There are women who expect to live a lavish lifestyle.  It doesn't take long to figure that out with them.  There are many who are very frugal.  I doubt that I spend any more for my wife and I to live than I did to live alone.  Actually it could be less and that is even taking into account that we bought a new car for her and that I am paying for a college education.  My wife does not waste a penny.  About a year and a half ago she started working part time in my business and as a result we cut our overhead for my business about $ 40,000 a month or so.  Personally I think what you are worrying about is not what you should be worrying about.  I think you just need to meet a good woman and the rest of the problems will solve themselves.   


I will agree with everyone that the process isn't cheap and you should be prepared for some initial expenses but once that is behind you I think you will have smooth sailing.  Don't settle for a woman who isn't right for you and don't try to rush the process.

[ukthesis]

Good reply.  What I have noticed, and I found this on another of these Russian sites, is that there a lot of very self-opinionated people on them ready to give snap judgements.  This I have not seen before, and I move across other forums where this isn't a problem.  So instead of getting good advice, I have to spend my time responding to wrong-headed comments. For example this post:

"If you have to spend so much time analyzing the money aspect of this endeavor"

This comment is not only unhelpful but inaccurate.  I do not spend "so much time" on analysing this.  As I have said several times, this only came up latterly, in the last few days and after I've been browsing Baltic Ladies for 9 months.  I had not even thought of this as a possible problem until 3 days ago, when Baltic Ladies brought it to my attention.

So instead of personal attacks, which I ignore as based on ignorance, I'm after constructive and informative replies.

[Shadow]

So in this last case most of the guys on these forums who are not rich, the vast majority, are pursuing an unrealistic dream, at least if they are looking for women over 45, since they would not be able to afford the cost.  Would this be accurate?

I have never considered myself rich, yet I managed to add a second person to my family simply by cutting back on my unneeded expenses.
By now the family has grown to four people, and while we are currently going through hard times we still live on a single income.
I am one of the last people who will say that you have to be rich to marry a woman from the FSU, however if your point of view is that to survive she has to work, I believe you are in trouble.

[Manny]

So instead of personal attacks, which I ignore as based on ignorance, I'm after constructive and informative replies.

No. What you are doing is cherry picking what is written that happens to coincide with your beliefs or hopes.

You sound underfunded to me based on what you have written. If you haven't got at least a disposable £20-£30k sitting about, and income to satisfy the UK Border Agency, I would forget the idea.

As you don't appear to work and appear to live off savings [or compensation or whatever], you are going to need a healthy seven figures as likely nobody in your house will work for some time to come.

Forget all ideas of a woman working or pooling her assets with you. The former will take at least one or two years in most cases and the latter simply doesn't happen. If her money or earning capability is a factor in your financial planning, you ARE underfunded. Wrap it up anyway you like or dismiss it as an "attack" or "not constructive", but when the train crashes, remember that you were warned.

You can dismiss opinions here as inconvenient or "not constructive", but the folks here know what they are talking about. You are tapping hundreds of years of collective experience here, for free. Dismissing inconvenient advice as "not constructive" is rather arrogant. And we have seen it before. And not by anyone married. Catch my drift?

[Gator]

If you haven't got at least a disposable £20-£30k sitting about, and income to satisfy the UK Border Agency, I would forget the idea.

Maybe it can be done on such a small amount, but I believe more, much more, is needed.  To the positive side of the balance sheet, he is considering older women so he is not bringing children and maybe all of her teeth have fallen out.   

[Manny]

Maybe it can be done on such a small amount, but I believe more, much more, is needed.  To the positive side of the balance sheet, he is considering older women so he is not bringing children and maybe all of her teeth have fallen out.   

Personally, I spent in the region of £50k from getting serious to being married. But people say they did it for less so I was trying to bat in the middle.


Of course, we all know Misha did it for $5. 

[Misha]

[size=78%]Of course, we all know Misha did it for $5. [/size]

   I had and have better things to spend money on. Lately is is on high end baby goods, but on sale 

[TheTraveler]

No. What you are doing is cherry picking what is written that happens to coincide with your beliefs or hopes.

You sound underfunded to me based on what you have written. If you haven't got at least a disposable £20-£30k sitting about, and income to satisfy the UK Border Agency, I would forget the idea.

As you don't appear to work and appear to live off savings [or compensation or whatever], you are going to need a healthy seven figures as likely nobody in your house will work for some time to come.

Forget all ideas of a woman working or pooling her assets with you. The former will take at least one or two years in most cases and the latter simply doesn't happen. If her money or earning capability is a factor in your financial planning, you ARE underfunded. Wrap it up anyway you like or dismiss it as an "attack" or "not constructive", but when the train crashes, remember that you were warned.

You can dismiss opinions here as inconvenient or "not constructive", but the folks here know what they are talking about. You are tapping hundreds of years of collective experience here, for free. Dismissing inconvenient advice as "not constructive" is rather arrogant. And we have seen it before. And not by anyone married. Catch my drift?

i second manny's post.
 
if you are unable to support a wife without her working, then you aren't ready to get married.  period.
 
and a russian wife will be even more expensive when you factor in international travel every year or so... plus the fact that you will probably have to buy her a car, etc...

[Misha]

and a russian wife will be even more expensive when you factor in international travel every year or so... plus the fact that you will probably have to buy her a car, etc...

To play the Devil's advocate, it is quite often possible to not buy a second car. I bus/bike to work for example and we don't put much mileage on the vehicle we do have. As for air travel, if I had married a woman from another part of Canada, the travel cost might have been more expensive than flying to Russia.

[Faux Pas]

i second manny's post.
 
if you are unable to support a wife without her working, then you aren't ready to get married.  period.
 
and a russian wife will be even more expensive when you factor in international travel every year or so... plus the fact that you will probably have to buy her a car, etc...

The sour cream and mayonnaise alone will halt the purchase of that new boat

[Brillynt]

The sour cream and mayonnaise alone will halt the purchase of that new boat

    

[Russian_Bear]

You raised some questions that I will try to answer.

1. Are these ladies gold diggers or scammers?
Some are, some are not. It is up to you to find the right answer.

2. Why they do not speak English if it is a compulsory subject?
It may be compulsory today, but not in the time they went to school. Besides, did you learn any language in school that you never used afterwards? If so, how well can you speak it ? To add, the level of English teaching is often very poor.

3. Why they do not look for work?
You have addressed already some of the problems. Their language is poor, their job qualification often does not translate. A woman in her late 40's or early 50's is not very keen on going to school to regain her qualifications, nor to do the jobs available to her without them. She has worked for 30 or 40 years, and will not be happy to start from scratch.

4. So they have nothing?
If you will come to the point where a marriage is in the cards, you might foind that their real savings exceed yours. However just as you are not keen to lose your savings to her, she will not be keen to disclose all to you.

The bottom line is that if you wish to establish a family, you will have to be able to  provide for it. If you can not, looking in the FSU is not for you.