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Author Topic: Housing an RW in America  (Read 3552 times)

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Offline viking

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Housing an RW in America
« on: April 09, 2006, 07:45:23 AM »
I would like to throw this topic out there. I can't find the subject any place else.

We assume that any RW coming over here would expect a better standard of living than what she had before.

How many are expecting to live in a 'house' versus an 'apartment'. I will also assume here that either this house or apartment is not in a slum. Is the expectation different? Is acceptance of an apartment a critical decision. Yes, I know, the person is the most important issue, but what about this one. Do they expect the whole enchalada, multiple bedrooms, baths, gardens, etc?  Have you ever been blown off because you can only offer a nice place but it is not a stand alone house? Thoughts?
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Offline Turboguy

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« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2006, 08:22:38 AM »
Being out in the sticks where everyone not on welfare lives in a house I am quite upfront that I have a house and not an apartment.  My only experice in acceptance was my former fiancee and she liked my house but she was not very money and status motivated.  I do try to send the gals I write a photo of my house after I have written them a while so they know I do not live in a palace but it is a comfortable house.

The only static I have had on my house was with the Moscow gal in January who liked the $ 550.00 dinners and complained becuase I did not order the $ 400.00 bottle of wine.   She was upset that I did not have an ocean front house.

I know Clydes bride was not too thrilled with his apartment at first but I will let him talk about that if he wants to.

I may have a second gal getting a first hand peek at my house in a little over a month so I will have more experience then.

Offline Son of Clyde

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Housing an RW in America
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2006, 09:06:24 AM »
Yes, my wife was somewhat appalleed by my apartment and it really surprised me because i spent thousands of dollars fixing it up.

She lived in a modern apartment that she fixed up with lots of flowers and I have a cat so I did not have a lot of flowers. Also, my place is the first floor of an 80 year old house.

Turbo maybe you can be honest and say if it is all that bad?

Offline Son of Clyde

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« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2006, 09:09:36 AM »
Another thing to mention. I purposely did not go house and extensive furniture hunting knowing she would want to approve the furniture and where we lived. I tried to make my place presentable and I purchased some new furniture, kitchen appliances, curtains, ceiling fixtures, I did some drywall, new paint job, carpets etc. I knew it would be temporary until we found a house.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2006, 09:12:00 AM by Son of Clyde »

Offline goleta2sin

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Housing an RW in America
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2006, 09:11:39 AM »
I sent my wife a video of my house and the neighborhood before she arrived. I even had it narrated by one of my Russian-speaking friends. To answer your question, she expected a confortable and safe home.  I would strongly reccommend making a video showing how and where you live. My wife and her family loved it.  

Offline Turboguy

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« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2006, 09:23:33 AM »
[user=130]Son of Clyde[/user] wrote:
Quote
Yes, my wife was somewhat appalleed by my apartment and it really surprised me because i spent thousands of dollars fixing it up.

She lived in a modern apartment that she fixed up with lots of flowers and I have a cat so I did not have a lot of flowers. Also, my place is the first floor of an 80 year old house.

Turbo maybe you can be honest and say if it is all that bad?

I have been to Clydes apartment and it is quite spacious for an apartment, very neat and looks like a fine apartment to me.  I have lived in a lot worse.   It is not brand a brand spanking new building but it is well kept up and well maintained.   Perhaps an FSU woman who watched to many reruns of American soap operas and the palaces we all live in might be disappointed but in real world America, Clyde does not neet to apologize for it.

The video idea is great.  Scare them off before you get all the expense and frustration of the K-1   :brightidea: Good thought GoLeta. 

Offline LatinSwede

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« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2006, 10:43:58 AM »
For now I live in a modest no frills  1 bedroom/1 Bathroom apartment.  The kitchen is so small I can literally touch both sides.  I've sent my lady various pictures of my apartment, to show her my home like.   I gave her a realistic view of living space and such.  She doesn't seem to be bothered by it now.  I'm only renewing my lease for another 6 months.  I want a decent 2 bedroom in a better area.  So it will be good to do home hunting with her.  Catzenmouse and his wife will be stopping by.  So maybe his RW, will give me a good dose of painful truth of what to expect from my sweetheart.  Mrs good housekeeping, told me she was impressed by my place, but made it clear she intends to make changes. 

In my correspondance with my Odessa dyevoshka, she misunderstood when I said "one bedroom".  She thought I meant I lived in what they call a one room flat.  On other words she thought I meant a studio. So I had to write her explaining my apartment is 2 rooms (living room, Bedroom) with a nice bathroom, and little kitchen.  Compared to one flat I rented in Odessa, it looks like a luxury sweet.

One I had for $50 was nice and spacious, except for the toilet and shower area.  When I needed to dispose of bodily waste, or wash up, I was in this small area just a tad bigger than my bedroom closet.  It has the thin accordian door that you slid open and shut.  Oh If I want hot water (like a shower) I have to turn on the gas heater.  Last time I got an even better one, that had a nice stereo in the living room.  The bathroom was very modern.  It was not like cleaning myself up in the closet.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2006, 01:08:00 PM by LatinSwede »

Offline Jet

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« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2006, 01:04:08 PM »
Lil, Niko, and I live in a comfortable 2 bdrm apartment in center city Ft Lauderdale. What she likes about it is that all the "cultural & nightlife stuff" is very close, public transportation is excellent and shopping is only 3 blocks away. The only thing she doesn't like is that we keep quite a bit of stuff in storage across town because we simply don't have room for it here. To her it made no difference, as long as it was safe, clean, and in a nice neighborhood.
Every action in company ought to be done with some sign of respect to those that are present. ~ Geo. Washington

Offline Oosik

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« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2006, 01:25:17 PM »
Some of the comments that I see here are suprising.

I would expect that an apartment dweller on the FSU would be pretty  happy with a one bedroom apt in the US. Particularly with the modern  plumbing and bathrooms, in-unit Washers and dryers. Although she did  say she wanted a balcony for hanging laundry.

She double-checked with me that it would in fact always have hot water, which makes her very happy.

http://www.village-at-columbia.net/model.htm

If this doesn't make her happy, I don't know what will.

Of course, I could always kick my renters out and take her 20 miles  north of town to my ranch style house on the backside of the mountains  that you see!! But I think she will adjust better in town.

Offline Daknack

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« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2006, 08:09:04 PM »
Ive been to SoC's place and I agree with Turbo guy.  Ive no idea what her complaints are about.  IMO baseless.  His apartment is bigger then many one floor houses Ive been in, and has a nice big yard.

Offline rose

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« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2006, 10:12:16 PM »
After watching all those movies on TV ("Home alone", etc.), I thought that all Americans have 2-story houses.
So, when I came to the US and my husband proudly showed me his house (1800sq.ft, built in late 80s) I was shocked. All I could say was: "And where is the second floor?"

Now it seems funny to me, but unfortunately, many of ladies come here with different stereotypes, and I think it is very important to explain them in advance what they should expect.

I think if a girl isn't a golddigger or a spoilled bitch, she'll be happy no matter if it'll be an appartment or a house. The most important thing is to prepare her. I think video is a great idea.


Offline Turboguy

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« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2006, 02:22:34 AM »
Heck, I have four floors if you count the basement.  Maybe I should chop a few off.

Offline Turboguy

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« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2006, 03:42:56 AM »
Well let me change the topic but stay on housing.   There was some discussion in another thread about buying a house before or after marriage.   I can't say I have a marriage pending so perhaps it is a mute question.   Then again I would not guarantee that 6 weeks from now I would not be doing a K-1 either. 

My question has two parts.   Right now I am in a house in town.  It is a big older house that I have put a lot of money and time in remodeling.  It is a very comfortable house with 8 big rooms, built in 1900.  It is quite nice inside with a brand new deluxe kitchen, stainless steel deluxe appliances,  new furniture, 42" plazma tv, corner whirlpool tub for two, a lot of nice unique features, so it is basically pretty acceptable living quarters.   One of the big pluses for a FSU woman who would arrive here would be that it is a 5 minute walk to Downtown?   We don't have a big downtown but at least what there is can be reached quickly.   My intentions were to fix it up which I could finish the few odds and ends that are left in a few months and sell it.

The neighborhood is basically nice but there have been some problems.   Lately they have been spray painting some cars and I take delivery on a pretty cool new sports car next month.  Of couse my next door neighbor was taking a nap in the afternoon and had a bullitt come through the headboard of the bed he was in but that doesn't happen routinely here.   The problems are part of the reason I want to move, the other part is that I fixed the place up with the idea of selling it and it is about fixed up.

What I want to buy next would be a brand new house in suburbia.  It would basically be out in a plan of new homes where the only walking you could do would be around the neighborhood.  I could see this as a negative for an FSU woman who did not drive.  

Anyway, I have all these thoughts running through my mind.  I have more exposure (in case of divorce) if I wait to buy the house.   If she has kids, (my one cantidate has a 15 year old girl) (My other good catidate does not)   waiting would make an additional change of schools. (that is putting the cart before the horse anyway).   Waiting would let her (whoever she turns out to be) the chance of helping to pick out the house and the new furniture for it. 

I guess I am trying to decide if I should follow the plan I have had or if I should just hang in here for a few years even though that is not what my plans were.   Any thoughts or suggestions?

Offline Voyageur

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« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2006, 05:14:18 AM »
Ray,  I can tell you that in my experience the woman likes to have a say in what her house looks like. I had a reasonable house when my wife came to America (I thought). I bought this house after I divorced and it is about 50 years old, but on a good patch of land, in a good neighborhood. Of course I was a bachelor and did not require much in the way of curtains (I had blinds ;) of course) or other necessities (like new silverware, plates, etc. that were still intact from my ex not breaking them over my head :D during the divorce 6 years ago).

When my wife arrived she set about to make the house her own. She think about it all the time, we spend our extra :):) money on this always. Before she arrived I, like yourself (with your old fiancee) and SoC, spent a lot of my time and  money painting, varnishing the floors and making it presentable.

I would suggest for you to keep your old house. When (and if) your new woman arrives and if everything works out, to select living items and even a house together.  These times have been among the happiest for us.  It really makes the FSU woman feel more at ease and at home in this new and very strange country and is a big sharing of your new life together.

I read one time on the old forum that you should not do anything before your FSU woman comes to you home from her country, as you will not receive any "credit" for this, or any points. I agree with this to some extent.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2006, 05:16:00 AM by Voyageur »

Offline Turboguy

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Housing an RW in America
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2006, 05:22:17 AM »
Thanks Ken,  Those sound like some excellent thoughts on the subject.  We will see what others have to say.

Offline viking

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Housing an RW in America
« Reply #15 on: April 13, 2006, 07:52:20 AM »
Ray,

I tend to agree with Ken on this. Your house is your house, it may not be her 'home'. There is a difference. What you have now, the neighborhhod not withstanding, seems to be pretty nice, maybe more so than other guys here.

She would not be disappointed. But make the decision to stay or go someplace else with her. Not alone. She does need to be part of the decision making process. She WILL see something you will not. Further, as a safety net, if the place does not work out, the decision was shared so no one can blame the other for any problems. Hopefully one less argument. One point, if you have not had the chance to think about this. It has been my experience that every one needs 'their space'. For a guy it might be a work room, music room, if one was so inclined, for her it might be a sewing room, computer room, whatever, if she was so inclined. The rest of the house is joint. After owning about 6 homes, I know I need a garage for 'my stuff'. What wil be her needs?
Tom Hanks in Castaway: You never know what the tide may bring in.
Viking: But you still need to walk along the beach to find it.

Offline PeeWee

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« Reply #16 on: April 13, 2006, 08:32:56 AM »
Washington State is a community property state. What you buy together usually gets split in half. Not being 100% sure if a marriage will last I would prefer to own the home prior to the marriage. What one brings into a marriage us usually not subject to the community property laws. Otherwise, if you buy a home jointly then you, as the man, would most likely lose the home, especially if you have children with her.

 

Peewee

Offline Todd

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« Reply #17 on: April 13, 2006, 11:45:58 AM »
Kate came over here in July of last year.  We are presently living in a studio apartment.  However, we will be upgrading to a 1 bedroom apartment in the same building in the next month or two. 

Kate laughs because all her friends imagine her living in the standard 2 floor house.  They can't believe our apartment is smaller than the one she shared with her mother back in Minsk. 

In general, I think not changing the living situation just prior to her coming was a wise idea.  She is getting more and more ideas of what she wants and doesn't want.  Also, I think for her that the big selling feature of where I live is that I'm a walk away from the subway and harvard sq.  With all that said, Kate wants to move not only for more space but also to make the new space more ours than mine. 

So far, the only disagreement about living space is that she insisted on a table, and the bean bag chairs have got to go.  (Both very reasonable comments...although I will miss the bean bags...)

So, my advice is to wait until she comes and not make any sudden moves.  Also, having too little space in your first year together is not such a bad thing.  You will be newlyweds afterall.

 

Todd

Offline Turboguy

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« Reply #18 on: April 13, 2006, 01:39:51 PM »
PA is not a community property state.  Here they look at the increase in value over the marriage.    In other words If we bought a house together and propery values went up 10% while the marriage lasted she would be entitled to half of the 10 percent not half of the house.  Of course they usually fudge a little in favor of the woman.   I think it is likely that I would have a pre-nup that could help.  I am not saying if the right gal came along, I might drop that requirement.  Also I could be married and still deed the house in my name.   Actually my plans are to sell three houses and put the cash into one house.   I am tired of fixing things up.

Todd, as long as you can laugh about it then wherever you are is fine.  Sometimes when you start out that way it is fun to look back on it down the road and remember when..........  Good luck.

 

Online 2tallbill

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« Reply #19 on: November 27, 2020, 12:14:08 PM »
Bill broke out the thread defibrillator again and realized that solar
might not have been the way to go.


Note: Cartoon belongs to cartoonstock.com all rights are owned by them
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online 2tallbill

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Housing an RW in America
« Reply #20 on: December 05, 2020, 06:54:08 AM »
My opinion,

Most FSUW have zero experience buying a house, financing a house
or renovating with the plan of selling a house. While you are single
it would make the most sense to do whatever is best financially.

When you get married things will change and she will have to learn
all about it. Trying to plan all this ahead of time is a perfect example
of putting the cart ahead of the horse.

An FSUW is leaving her home, family, language and culture. Wherever
you live she will clean it, rearrange it and put her stamp on it. Your
home and life will never be the same.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline msmob

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Re: Housing an RW in America
« Reply #21 on: December 05, 2020, 08:28:01 AM »
My opinion,

Most FSUW have zero experience buying a house, financing a house
or renovating with the plan of selling a house.

EVERY  FSU W I have lived with had previous re doing up places, be it Dachi or apartments.

Russian TV has had DIY home improvement  series for 20 years.

V had interests in 3 apartments in Siberia.. SC is constantly speculating...


Online 2tallbill

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Housing an RW in America
« Reply #22 on: December 05, 2020, 01:15:55 PM »
EVERY  FSU W I have lived with had previous re doing up places, be it Dachi or apartments.

Russian TV has had DIY home improvement  series for 20 years.

V had interests in 3 apartments in Siberia.. SC is constantly speculating...

Those are atypical examples.

Most FSUW from age 0-40 never owned a single family house and
never financed it or flipped it. They don't know what a fico score is,
they don't know the basics fundamentals of finance etc.

None of this stuff is rocket science and they can learn it but they
haven't been taught this stuff.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online 2tallbill

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Housing an RW in America
« Reply #23 on: December 19, 2020, 01:56:07 PM »
The one item regardless of how or where you house your
Russian woman is you need to buy a hand held shower
attachment.



FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline ML

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Re: Housing an RW in America
« Reply #24 on: December 19, 2020, 02:06:00 PM »
The one item regardless of how or where you house your
Russian woman is you need to buy a hand held shower
attachment.



No . . . that model is missing one very important feature.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

 

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