Age Gaps & Money - under a microscope!

[Gator]

i blame my parents! until 14 i was the perfect little girl, but then i had a burn-out from studying 18 hours a day and not having any fun, and i have not done a single thing since then, and they haven't made me do a single thing, and after so many years of not doing anything it's unbelievably difficult to lift a finger

Aloe, blame only yourself.  While you took a break from studying, there are many young people who did not.  They made the best marks, they went to superb graduate schools, they sought demanding jobs, they brought work home, they studied personal interactions, they networked with high achievers, they set stretch goals for themselves, etc.  In summary, they never stopped working and achieving and dreaming.  Guess what?   They have the best jobs today and are still rising. 
 
You are still young and you can turn this around. 

[Ade]

It's not as easy as it seems They pay about triple of the country average there, so when a job, any job, is announced, you can imagine what a stampede it is    And for a translator it's extra difficult, because, as i'm told at school, they normally hire an interpreter/translator to translate foreign languages into their native language. But i am being schooled to translate from other languages into a foreign language (into dutch). Who could possibly need translation into dutch there, and it isn't even my native language, so they wouldn't hire me    And the russians bring their own translators and interpreters who were schooled in Russia to translate into Russian. Here they teach to translate into Dutch.

There are many different jobs - no one said you should restrict yourself to interpreter jobs. http://www.eurobrussels.com/


You'll never get one if you don't try, and that goes for any place or career you dream of.

[IAmZon]

All your comments so far Rivardco simply indicate to me that you were hanging around in the FSU with a certain "type" and that you are then trying to generalize to an entire population based on a very skewed sample.

But, my friend that is the very purpose of this discussion. 


I have no agenda, nor axe to grind.  I have some experience, not vast.   But, I do know Mike that brought home Oxana - lasted 1.5 years.  I have seen KenC.  I have seen AJ.  I have recently read Maxx.  I have seen enough to motivate me to stimulate a discussion.  that is all.


(notice the smaller fonts - I must have bad eyes)

[pitbull]

Aloe, blame only yourself.  While you took a break from studying, there are many young people who did not.  They made the best marks, they went to superb graduate schools, they sought demanding jobs, they brought work home, they studied personal interactions, they networked with high achievers, they set stretch goals for themselves, etc.  In summary, they never stopped working and achieving and dreaming.  Guess what?   They have the best jobs today and are still rising. 
 
You are still young and you can turn this around.

+100   

[ML]

The question was probably worded without any reference to gender. Something like " how many individuals did you have sex with"...or may be they picked only heterosexual men for the sample.   

Yes, VWRW is  on the right track.  Or alternatively, they ask how many  women, and also ask what your own sexual orientation is.  Then, they simply pull out all those with homosexual orientation for this particular  statistic.

Anyway, this is really not important enough for this current topic . . . and could give the impression that some of us are a little too much aware of the 'other team' statistics.          

[GQBlues]

...
A young good-looking guy who makes that kind of money at the young age and is able to provide that lifestyle that you've described (and it's not a cheap one), would be looking for his equal. Just being cute won't cut it. I am saying that you have to compromise and seeing that "not lifting a finger" is clearly your priority, the plan I outlined is your realistic best shot...

Not necessarily, pitbull. There's a 29 year old gal from Moscow who is currently living a life she is convinced is what she's looking for here in LA. She originally arrived on a K-1 visa, married then divorced. A few monhs later, she started 'hunting' for a BF. Not just a ordinary BF, but someone relatively 'young' and in the medicine field. A doctor.
 
She found one and dated him (or he 'dated' her) for about 7 months. Two months after moving in with him in his home in the Marina, he kicked her out soon as he found someone prettier.
 
9 months later, she met another 'young doctor'. Dated a couple of months, moved in with him, etc..soon after, the guy's mother demanded that she move out (religious reason, I don't know) of his home and date properly, etc...
 
He then got her an apartment in a LA suburb since she had quit her job when they met, dated and moved in with him. No money to pay for her own crib. 3 months more of 'dating', the guy met someone else who he also started dating. Since he signed a year's lease on the apartment she's currently living in they continued the 'relationship'. He pays for her apartment until the lease is over. Gives her a monthly stipend ($1,000.00) and he gets to 'come by' once in a while, or as often a he wants' to get his rocks off.
 
The gal is fairly attractive. Came from a well-to-do family in Moscow (between BFs, her parents apparently sends her money, etc..). She assures us she's happy with the setup and she couldn't see herself any happier...
 
It's crazy out there...

[ML]

On the money thing, well, it sure as hell is tempting to look for someone who is relatively mature and has a house paid off, so you as a woman don't have to slave for the rest of your life while somebody else is (half-assed) raising your kids     Rather do some part-time work 'for the soul', than have to slave all day and have no option of quitting, ever, because the mortgage needs to be paid. That sounds like a depressing life to me. In fact this gloomy prospect puts a damper on my moods every day!!

Yes, heaven forbid someone should actually have to work to help support the family.  There will probably be a national election some  day where a vote is taken resulting in outcome that no one should have to work.

[Gator]

 
The gal is fairly attractive. Came from a well-to-do family in Moscow (between BFs, her parents apparently sends her money, etc..). She assures us she's happy with the setup and she couldn't see herself any happier...
 
It's crazy out there...

Her happiness is being passed from man to man?   Not a long-term view, and not the type of woman any young high achiever would consider his equal (to paraphrase pitbull) nor want to start a family with.   For now, she is merely his semen receiver, and there are many such women available.

[Muzh]

Yes, heaven forbid someone should actually have to work to help support the family.  There will probably be a national election some  day where a vote is taken resulting in outcome that no one should have to work.

Having second thoughts about the traditional stay-at-home woman?

[TomT]

On the money thing, well, it sure as hell is tempting to look for someone who is relatively mature and has a house paid off, so you as a woman don't have to slave for the rest of your life while somebody else is (half-assed) raising your kids     Rather do some part-time work 'for the soul', than have to slave all day and have no option of quitting, ever, because the mortgage needs to be paid. That sounds like a depressing life to me. In fact this gloomy prospect puts a damper on my moods every day!!

There are worse things than a job, a mortgage and day care. A few things that come to mind are beach ball-sized bellies, parts that are in various stages of decomposition, hair everywhere but where it looks attractive, an accumulation of hatred toward women, prehistoric mentalities, highly developed vices, an extensive collection of psychological afflictions laid one of top of the other and delusions of being world-class swordsmen.


People like to think that they get better with age but they really don't.

[Muzh]

There are worse things than a job, a mortgage and day care. A few things that come to mind are beach ball-sized bellies, parts that are in various stages of decomposition, hair everywhere but where it looks attractive, an accumulation of hatred toward women, prehistoric mentalities, highly developed vices, an extensive collection of psychological afflictions laid one of top of the other and delusions of being world-class swordsmen.


People like to think that they get better with age but they really don't.

LMFAO

How true!!

[Aloe]

Aloe, blame only yourself.  While you took a break from studying, there are many young people who did not.  They made the best marks, they went to superb graduate schools, they sought demanding jobs, they brought work home, they studied personal interactions, they networked with high achievers, they set stretch goals for themselves, etc.  In summary, they never stopped working and achieving and dreaming.  Guess what?   They have the best jobs today and are still rising. 
 
You are still young and you can turn this around.

That doesn't call to me, i don't wanna be a career-bunny    I think i wanna first travel the world, and then settle down somewhere and do like community work, helping out in the neighborhood and such, maybe a teacher. Not some rat-race corporate job, networking and blah. I don't see why everyone perceives a 500k home and theater once a month as a life of luxury. In belgium one third of all home buyers use their parents' help to buy a house (was in the news), so tons of young people living in 400k euro homes. Too bad hubby's parents can't afford to help us If my parents helped, and his parents helped equally to my parents, we could buy a 400k house without a loan.

[Misha]

I don't see why everyone perceives a 500k home and theater once a month as a life of luxury.

No, but it does require some planning. In Canada, to get a mortgage for that sum, you would have to earn a household income over 100k per year and this would presume that you have zero debt. You would also need a downpayment for a house, now a minimum of 5% of the total price for first time homebuyers IIRC. The necessary household salary required may be higher or lower in Belgium and it also depends on interest rates. Also, the minimum downpayment may be higher in Europe as well. The question, if you do not already have what it takes to buy a house, is how to get the income to afford a house and to start saving up for the downpayment.

[size=78%]If my parents helped, and his parents helped equally to my parents, we could buy a 400k house without a loan.[/size]

I really can't imagine that there are so many parents in Belgium buying their children $400k houses. However, life being what it is, there is no sense thinking about options that are not realistic, instead you have to come up with plans instead of wishes and figure out how you can achieve it without the help of parents.

[Shadow]

Her happiness is being passed from man to man?   Not a long-term view, and not the type of woman any young high achiever would consider his equal (to paraphrase pitbull) nor want to start a family with.   For now, she is merely his semen receiver, and there are many such women available.

Plenty of women in Moscow doing the same. And coming from a 'good' family she might be accustomed to this already. She has the time to settle down when her looks start fading, if she is smart there will be wedding bells by the next year to some unsuspecting man with a good wallet.

[IAmZon]

She has the time to settle down when her looks start fading, if she is smart there will be wedding bells by the next year to some unsuspecting man with a good wallet

Lucky guy

[Shadow]

Lucky guy

Well the guy will get a wife who knows what to do in bed, is ok with games that men play at times and is independent enough not to cause him a headache.

But of course all men are marrying virgins, and while a male player is worshipped, a female player is doomed to spend her life alone until she fades away. And men still believe that BS.

[Boethius]

Lucky guy

Is it not akin to a man playing in his youth, then deciding, in middle age, to "settle down" with a younger woman?

[Boethius]

Too bad hubby's parents can't afford to help us If my parents helped, and his parents helped equally to my parents, we could buy a 400k house without a loan.

You don't need to start with a 400k house.  Buy an apartment for under 200K once you're both working, or even now, as the market is depressed.  You will be building equity, and can sell it and move up to what you want.

[Shadow]

You don't need to start with a 400k house.  Buy an apartment for under 200K once you're both working, or even now, as the market is depressed.  You will be building equity, and can sell it and move up to what you want.

If you go a little bit away from Brussels, 200K will buy you a nice house in Belgium.

[Vinnvinny]

That doesn't call to me, i don't wanna be a career-bunny    I think i wanna first travel the world, and then settle down somewhere and do like community work, helping out in the neighborhood and such, maybe a teacher. Not some rat-race corporate job, networking and blah. I don't see why everyone perceives a 500k home and theater once a month as a life of luxury. In belgium one third of all home buyers use their parents' help to buy a house (was in the news), so tons of young people living in 400k euro homes. Too bad hubby's parents can't afford to help us If my parents helped, and his parents helped equally to my parents, we could buy a 400k house without a loan.

Usually people get out of life what they put into it. I can see why you're so unhappy.

[Ranetka]

Is it not akin to a man playing in his youth, then deciding, in middle age, to "settle down" with a younger woman?

Or .....in his advanced years....with a younger Russian woman.  - Corrected for ya.

[civi68]

As always, the best advice in this endeavor is, "Be careful out there." I work for an employer with 600 employees, mostly men. The only guys that date much younger are the studs. And they never marry the girl! The other guys that get divorced later in life either don't have a social life or find a woman comparable to their age. If you are not the stud type, and chances are most of us pursuing FSU women are not, best to stick to no more than an 8 year age difference. Some guys want to avoid dating women over 40 but if you are in your late 40's or older, that should be your age range. Most older guys I know dating younger FSU women have to deal with the woman being a princess.
    I have been doing the FSU dating on and off since 1998. Most women I met say they want a man closer to their age, no more than 8 years and preferably no more than 5. Money and unrealistic expectations have always been a challenge in these relationships. I found it best to play the conservative type with money. When the woman starts to display behavior that she needs hundreds of dollars from you a month, no matter the reason, I found it best to move on.
   

[IAmZon]

The grASS is always greener on the other side of the hill.  This ty ipe of thinking is a human failing.  Longer term contentment ought be the goal.

But, in the beginning of a relationship there ought to be a physical spark, no?  If not it is a partnership, not a love affair.

I agree with civi.  If I were to live in the USA, I would stay in the 8 - 12 year age range and hope for the best.  Why?  It is rare and difficult to find women my age that turn me on.  Sorry, it is the truth.


I am perfectly content to be a bachellor BTW - but, who knows ... maybe lightning will strike.

[Shadow]

I agree with civi.  If I were to live in the USA, I would stay in the 8 - 12 year age range and hope for the best.  Why?  It is rare and difficult to find women my age that turn me on.  Sorry, it is the truth.

Good that FSU women are different in this with regards to older men. Or are they?

[Faux Pas]

The grASS is always greener on the other side of the hill.  This ty ipe of thinking is a human failing.  Longer term contentment ought be the goal.

But, in the beginning of a relationship there ought to be a physical spark, no?  If not it is a partnership, not a love affair.

I agree with civi.  If I were to live in the USA, I would stay in the 8 - 12 year age range and hope for the best.  Why?  It is rare and difficult to find women my age that turn me on.  Sorry, it is the truth.


I am perfectly content to be a bachellor BTW - but, who knows ... maybe lightning will strike.

Yet, you convince yourself that women 15-20 years younger than you are turned on by you?