Understanding the psychology of young FSU brides?

[YoungBuck]

I understand why 27+ year old FSUW could be on agency listings, but what motivates the younger ones (18-23) to search internationally?

Is it ok to ask questions to your FSU pen pal about her motivations, desires, etc.
When I asked my Russian pen pal what she usually does on weekends, she couldn't (didn't) answer. When I asked about this past weekend, she said go buy clocks with her mom, and catch up on sleep. The previous weekend was bake "anthill cake". She doesn't drink or smoke, and appears to be a homebody, but she's still in school, so I'm curious to ask,
"What prompted her to list herself in an agency (when at that age most people wouldn't even have dated enough or experienced enough of the world to know themselves)?"

Myself, I've always dated for marriage since I was in college, even had a college sweetheart, but that relationship ended one year after graduation. I tried for a number of years to meet other smart 21-25 marriage minded women but the results have been abysmal. I do go out, travel, etc. but I am mostly reserved and despise the typical dating scene of partying, clubbing, etc. Anyhow, I was able to see myself getting married at that age to my "best friend", but I wasn't in a hurry to be married.

[BillyB]

I understand why 27+ year old FSUW could be on agency listings, but what motivates the younger ones (18-23) to search internationally?

Two reasons for my wife who fits into your 18-23 age category.

1) She believes a lot of the good men will get taken early. A lot of young ladies probably think that way.

2) She didn't want to become a 30 year old virgin. Most young ladies don't have that worry since sex outside of marriage is no big deal.

When I asked my Russian pen pal what she usually does on weekends, she couldn't (didn't) answer.

Some RW don't answer the same question 500 other guys have asked her in the past and present. The question gets old. If she got the hots for you, she will answer your every question but don't sound like a broken record asking the same question every weekend. Talk about what you did for the weekend and she may volunteer what she did for the weekend without you asking a question.

[calmissile]

When I asked my Russian pen pal what she usually does on weekends, she couldn't (didn't) answer.

Get used to it.     
One of the characteristics I have noticed in conversations with FSUW (including fiance's) is that they will often not respond immediately to a question.  In fact, there is no response at all, just as though the question was not asked.  I used to repeat the question over and over thinking that she overlooked it.   NOT!

It seems like they are not ready to answer a question, or are thinking about an answer before giving it.  As someone posted, she will likely answer it in good time when you least expect it.  In fact, sometimes you have a hard time connecting the dots to what it is in response to.   

[ML]

Talk about what you did for the weekend and she may volunteer what she did for the weekend without you asking a question.

This is a good tactic.  When I was communicating with gals in a series of messages before arriving in their city; I asked a few questions in each email

And, as soon as I typed the question, I followed it with an answer to the same question about myself.

e.g. Who is your favorite classical composer?; my favorite is Mozart.

Probably no one likes to just get a list of questions; but the providing of similar info to them makes it more interesting and usually brings forth an answer.

[Vaughn]

When I asked about this past weekend, she said go buy clocks with her
mom....

My educated guess is that the meaning was skewed in translation, and that she "spent hours" (or time) with her Mama...  unless, of course, they really went out to purchase clocks.   
 
 
 
 

[ML]

My educated guess is that the meaning was skewed in translation, and that she "spent hours" (or time) with her Mama...  unless, of course, they really went out to purchase clocks.   

Good guess Vau-gun.

My Gal often tells me she hasn't time to check her email from Ukrainian friends.  So she wants me to open her email, run it through Google translator, and then tell her what somebody wrote while we are eating or driving somewhere.

She can generally figure out what I tell her, even when the translation is quite garbled.  But sometimes I tell her such stories as someone spent time 'buying clocks' and it takes her a while to come up with the 'spending time' idea.

It usually provides us with a few laughs.

[YoungBuck]

My educated guess is that the meaning was skewed in translation, and that she "spent hours" (or time) with her Mama...  unless, of course, they really went out to purchase clocks.   

 she's fluent in English but misses the occasional idiomatic expression or tense. I have no doubt that she went to purchase clocks.  I'm not sure how Russian clocks are but I'm guessing they are not as elaborate as Swiss clocks.

I also employ that tactic of answering a question that I ask.

[calmissile]

she's fluent in English but misses the occasional idiomatic expression or tense. I have no doubt that she went to purchase clocks.  I'm not sure how Russian clocks are but I'm guessing they are not as elaborate as Swiss clocks.

I also employ that tactic of answering a question that I ask.

My guess is that both Vaughn and ML are correct.  The word time is mistranslated by Google as 'clock'.  We have had a lot of fun laughing about mistranslated words.  As I recall the word hour also gets mistranslated.

We are now using much better translators, but still there are mistranslated words.  One of the translator programs with a translate back feature allows you to choose alternate words to arrive at the correct readback translation.  The program is by LEC and is rather expensive but well worth the money.

For Skype we use Skype Translate which is much superior to Google.  It runs in the text box and automatically translates both directions.  The only downside is that the translator looses internet connection with the server frequently and we have to cut and paste into LEC until it comes back online.

If you both can laugh about the errors in translations it makes it still a fun experience.

You can always check  by asking her what kind of 'clocks' they bought.       

[Aloe]

I looked since 17, cuz i felt all partied out by 17 (had a crazy 14-16 yr old period), so i thought it was time to find a hubby. And because it was an adventure to find a foreign hubby and i liked foreign guys way better than RM. But now i realize there is a lot more to it than being partied out I also wanna see the world and stuff, seems like a difficult thing to achieve unless you have a nomad hubby.

[Muzh]

I understand why 27+ year old FSUW could be on agency listings, but what motivates the younger ones (18-23) to search internationally?

Is it ok to ask questions to your FSU pen pal about her motivations, desires, etc.
When I asked my Russian pen pal what she usually does on weekends, she couldn't (didn't) answer. When I asked about this past weekend, she said go buy clocks with her mom, and catch up on sleep. The previous weekend was bake "anthill cake". She doesn't drink or smoke, and appears to be a homebody, but she's still in school, so I'm curious to ask,
"What prompted her to list herself in an agency (when at that age most people wouldn't even have dated enough or experienced enough of the world to know themselves)?"

Does she look smoking hot in her agency picture? Actually, is she smoking hot?

[mies]

I understand why 27+ year old FSUW could be on agency listings, but what motivates the younger ones (18-23) to search internationally?

Is it ok to ask questions to your FSU pen pal about her motivations, desires, etc.
When I asked my Russian pen pal what she usually does on weekends, she couldn't (didn't) answer. When I asked about this past weekend, she said go buy clocks with her mom, and catch up on sleep. The previous weekend was bake "anthill cake". She doesn't drink or smoke, and appears to be a homebody, but she's still in school, so I'm curious to ask,
"What prompted her to list herself in an agency (when at that age most people wouldn't even have dated enough or experienced enough of the world to know themselves)?"

Myself, I've always dated for marriage since I was in college, even had a college sweetheart, but that relationship ended one year after graduation. I tried for a number of years to meet other smart 21-25 marriage minded women but the results have been abysmal. I do go out, travel, etc. but I am mostly reserved and despise the typical dating scene of partying, clubbing, etc. Anyhow, I was able to see myself getting married at that age to my "best friend", but I wasn't in a hurry to be married.

I will speak for my social circle back in Ukraine, and I don't know how representative it is of the rest of the country. The years I am talking about are late 90s - early 00s. My parents are engineers, most of people with whom my parents (and I) communicated as a family were also engineers, doctors, educators, lawyers, and bankers, quite many were government employees.
When I was growing up there was no such concept in our culture as "woman should live for herself, date as much as she pleases and have fun." It was expected that the young woman should lay the foundation for her career (get in college), and maybe postpone the marriage (and dating!) for few years before she has some progress towards her degree. But there was no such thing as postponing marriage to "enjoy the freedom of a single woman". I suppose, my social circle is/was quite traditional. The woman who isn't married by 25 is pitied by relatives, by 25 majority of women in my town have their first child, second child before they are 30. The woman who isn't married by 30 is pitied by everyone who knows her and gossips about her misfortune travel around the town of 300'000.
If the young woman is seen on the street holding hands and kissing with the guy, and they come from more or less the same background, their parents know each other through the same social network, then everyone sort of understands that in a 1-2 years maximum the wedding will follow. This public perception is so habitual, that if there is a bachelor, and then one day he is seen with the girl on the street - the volunteer matchmakers rest their case and stop offering this bachelor to eligible single females, because the chances of him marrying this woman are close to  100. You do not see the girl (or the guy) PDA with one person, and the month later doing the same thing with another person. Sure, some people do date several partners before getting married, but usually they are very discrete about their acquaintances up until the moment when it becomes common knowledge they they are happy with each other, and their parents are happy with their choice. Then nobody waits for 5-10 years to get married, while continue dating to the same person. They consider what is the most convenient time for the wedding (time of the year, exams at the university, money for the wedding etc.) and just get married.
People in my town usually do not take it well when the woman is changing dates frequently, and is having fun for many years. Some derogatory comments and gossips may start spreading, and this significantly decreases the chances for this woman to find a good husband - because good parents wouldn't  want her as a daughter in law.

So basically, since I was 15 and until I was 18, my goals for the life were: get into medical school (and chances of that were high) and become a doctor, meet a good "husband material" - someone max 5 years my senior, but not my junior; get apartment, get a dog. At some point in future - children. In our town the whole "MOB" business was unheard of, I didn't even know such thing existed. But had someone told me "hey, you can meet a good husband and move to live abroad" - I'd be very happy to try that too. After all, one can get a medical/university degree in any country, and here is a chance of meeting a good husband AND seeing the whole world/seeing new places and countries. My parent's probably wouldn't approve this experiment, or would have their reservations, but I'd be all for trying it.

At the same time, I never had the perception that local men aren't good enough. I liked local guys, and the guys that were around me were generally great guys. Remember - we are talking about people max 5 years older than me, so if I were 17-18 - they were not older than 22-23, fresh college graduates or in their last years of college. Some were same age as me. My parents were semi-seriously assessing the male children of their friends, and have refused on my behalf and without my knowledge one unofficial "matching" offer/proposal from their colleages' son, because the guy was 9 years older than me. He was a well-mannered, polite, kind, super smart, and promising in his career young doctor, but "too old", I was 18, he was 26 - the cutoff was at 5-6 years of difference.  At the same time, when in my proximity was noticed any male friend/acquaintance, my parents checked who are his parents, what are the references about the family. With one of the guys my parents and his parents said they want to see us married, but advised us to wait with marriage until we at least finish 3 years of college, preferably to marry around the time of graduation but that would be too much time to wait. Naturally, the sex before marriage wasn't the option. Not for religious reason, but because good girls should not have sexual life before marriage. Long story short - I was believing at that time that this is the way life is, this is the right way to live, and frankly speaking, I wasn't interested in having multiple experiences or seeing many different people. That never was on my agenda.

Then my life took somewhat unexpected turn, someone at the birthday party mentioned about good university in Kyiv, the university I have not heard before, the unusual thing about this university was that the entrance exams were on a different date than in the local medical school, whereas all universities in Ukraine have entrance exams pretty much on the same days, so you physically cannot apply to several schools simultaneously, and if you aren't admitted - you lose the full year. But this was an opportunity to apply to two colleges at a time, so I did. Got admitted to both. Decided that Kiev is more fun, plus a chance to live separately from my parents. Went to Kyiv, my semi-official parent-approved "fiance" stayed behind in medical school. Separation was somewhat hard, but we agreed to stay in touch, come to visit each other, and get married in a few years before graduation. I was 17 at that time Even funny to think how I could have made a wrong decision so early in my life. A year later the guy knocked up his classmate and had to marry her. Since I didn't have a fiance anymore, the family life for me was deferred for an unidentified period of time. And I suddenly realized that not having the wedding to look forward to is a blessing Few years later I met my husband, and realized again, what a huge favor my first "fiance" made for me by cheating on me and getting another girl pregnant. If not for that - I'd never find the love of my life, never end up in USA, would never do many fun things. Life is such a wonderful experience, sometimes you feel down, and think you are unfortunate, and then very soon you realize how lucky you just got. 

You will ask me, why this long, personal, and generally not very interesting nor relevant to the topic story? This story, imho, is an example of how priorities change in life. You date a 18-19-20yo from FSU and you think you got yourself "the quality wife material" because she is so young and already knows she wants to have family, and serious about being a good wife to her husband, says all the right things/words sincerely, is genuine, and all that jazz. And the girl honestly believes that this is what she wants because it is very important to find good husband, because this is what parents taught her, that the woman should be married, and ideally to a good man. If the girl marries local guy and stays in the environment she grew up at - they will most likely be happy. If she marries the foreigner, older than her, and with a completely different mindset, and moves to his country - chances are she will gradually realize that maybe she wasn't in a position to make informed choice while picking the man to marry. Maybe she married for the wrong reasons. Maybe she finds out there are other things in life she is interested in, other than being a good "wife material." And if her foreign husband doesn't support these developments - then there can be a problem in their relationship.
Also, for the whole town of 300'000 there was only a handful of marriages/families with age difference of 10 years or more. When the director of local factory married his son's classmate, the girl 22 years younger than him - the town went crazy because these things never happened back there, the gossips about this couple still live - 15 years later.

[calmissile]

Good post Mies.
Your description of the cutlure of dating and marrying is also what I experienced and was told by many Ukraine women.

[calmissile]

I understand why 27+ year old FSUW could be on agency listings, but what motivates the younger ones (18-23) to search internationally?

Youngbuck,

Before replying to your question I wanted to try and get a first hand response from a gal in that age range that would answer honestly and not have a confict of interest.  This gal is 19 and in her 3rd year at the University.  She was my translator and a very close friend of the family I am close to in Cherkassy.  Before leaving Cherkassy she asked me to promise her I would find her and American husband up to age 32 max.  Since I don't know anyone in that age group, the promise has sat on the back burner.  I thought she might be able to answer your question from someone not on any dating sites.  I edited the Skype chat to show you what she had to say.  I was dissapointed in that the response was not very specific, but did not want to pressure her for more details.  Sorry, it's the best I could do.



[3:42:07 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: I hope that a man from another country is different.and that he has a different mindset.=)
[9:44:58 AM] Doug: Can you be more specific with your answer about a different mindset?
[9:45:39 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: i hope that they treat woman  in another way
[9:48:41 AM] Doug: Which year of school are you in?  I forgot
[9:49:28 AM] Doug: What is your field of study?
[9:58:31 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: study languages
[9:59:09 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: university 3d year of study
[10:04:25 AM] Doug: can you please download a photo that I can share with men that might be interested in you?
[10:04:52 AM] *** Julia translator and Lusichka sent _DSC0769.jpg ***
[10:05:49 AM] *** Julia translator and Lusichka sent iouih.jpg ***
[10:06:47 AM] Doug: How do Ukraine men treat the women that is not good?
[10:07:18 AM] *** Julia translator and Lusichka sent лдщзжд.jpg ***
[10:09:13 AM] Doug: It is ok to post your photos?  There will be no information to identify you.  they would need to contact me for contact information.
[10:09:41 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: where u want to post them&
[10:10:04 AM] Doug: On the forum I belong to.  It is about men seeking Ukraine wives.
[10:10:19 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: ah ok))))
[10:10:46 AM] Doug: What specifically is not good about how Ukraine men treat the women?
[10:11:29 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: i do not know but thats what we think)
[10:12:01 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: agree that women in ukraine is  different from yours
[10:12:10 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: same with men
[10:12:22 AM] Doug: Is your mother married?
[10:12:39 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: yes
[10:12:51 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: but  her friend not
[10:12:57 AM] Doug: ok
[10:14:14 AM] Doug: I have to go. Larissa is calling.
[10:15:22 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: okey)))))))
[10:15:28 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: bye

[YoungBuck]

Does she look smoking hot in her agency picture? Actually, is she smoking hot?

I don't know, I haven't seen her in person. I'm getting everything in order to go see her in late August/early September.

As far as her agency picture, I think everyone would agree she's cute. She has a small waist, and a booty, so she's hot to me.

[YoungBuck]

Youngbuck,

Before replying to your question I wanted to try and get a first hand response from a gal in that age range that would answer honestly and not have a confict of interest.  This gal is 19 and in her 3rd year at the University.  She was my translator and a very close friend of the family I am close to in Cherkassy.  Before leaving Cherkassy she asked me to promise her I would find her and American husband up to age 32 max.  Since I don't know anyone in that age group, the promise has sat on the back burner.  I thought she might be able to answer your question from someone not on any dating sites.  I edited the Skype chat to show you what she had to say.  I was dissapointed in that the response was not very specific, but did not want to pressure her for more details.  Sorry, it's the best I could do.



[3:42:07 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: I hope that a man from another country is different.and that he has a different mindset.=)
[9:44:58 AM] Doug: Can you be more specific with your answer about a different mindset?
[9:45:39 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: i hope that they treat woman  in another way
[9:48:41 AM] Doug: Which year of school are you in?  I forgot
[9:49:28 AM] Doug: What is your field of study?
[9:58:31 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: study languages
[9:59:09 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: university 3d year of study
[10:04:25 AM] Doug: can you please download a photo that I can share with men that might be interested in you?
[10:04:52 AM] *** Julia translator and Lusichka sent _DSC0769.jpg ***
[10:05:49 AM] *** Julia translator and Lusichka sent iouih.jpg ***
[10:06:47 AM] Doug: How do Ukraine men treat the women that is not good?
[10:07:18 AM] *** Julia translator and Lusichka sent лдщзжд.jpg ***
[10:09:13 AM] Doug: It is ok to post your photos?  There will be no information to identify you.  they would need to contact me for contact information.
[10:09:41 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: where u want to post them&
[10:10:04 AM] Doug: On the forum I belong to.  It is about men seeking Ukraine wives.
[10:10:19 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: ah ok))))
[10:10:46 AM] Doug: What specifically is not good about how Ukraine men treat the women?
[10:11:29 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: i do not know but thats what we think)
[10:12:01 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: agree that women in ukraine is  different from yours
[10:12:10 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: same with men
[10:12:22 AM] Doug: Is your mother married?
[10:12:39 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: yes
[10:12:51 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: but  her friend not
[10:12:57 AM] Doug: ok
[10:14:14 AM] Doug: I have to go. Larissa is calling.
[10:15:22 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: okey)))))))
[10:15:28 AM] Julia translator and Lusichka: bye

I think it is more of a perception than actual reality that your average educated FSUW faces. I think the FSU men beat, cheat, drink, etc. is a stereotype based on the masses but not on the educated minority.
The Russian men I have met at school are too "sweet" for my taste, I never got that macho vibe from them, and the Russian women were far from strong/aloof but generally sensitive. They put up a front about being strong and this and that, but they get easily offended and also have a very pessimistic world-view so they get easily discouraged. Although my exposure to FSU is limited to Academia which in itself is self-selective of a particular personality, so it's skewed.

[CDW]

It seems like they are not ready to answer a question, or are thinking about an answer before giving it. 

I would think that she isn't very honest person. 

[Boethius]

No, it is just a different culture.

[mendeleyev]

Understanding the psychology of young FSU brides?

As a Dad who has married off two daughters so far, I can address this with great authority: Frankly, I haven't a clue what most of those young ladies are "thinking." Go ask my wife. 


On a more serious note...

"What prompted her to list herself in an agency (when at that age most people wouldn't even have dated enough or experienced enough of the world to know themselves)?"

To see the world. The grand quest to discover whether the grass is truly that much greener on the other side. Hmm, that might be said about we WM as well.

Our youngest is in many ways a typical Russian 23 year old. In other ways she is probably different. She marches to the beat of her own drummer and for example her ZAGS wedding was on the same day that she received her University degree. Not my idea of the most relaxing day but thankfully the Orthodox wedding was on a different day, not as rushed, and we enjoyed a very lovely party afterward. As my wife reminded me, it was her day. I certainly wouldn't classify that as typical FSU bride planning.

She now works at the same University so I have an excuse to hang around more often than normal. In interaction with some of Russia's smartest young people it seems to me that some of these youngsters (gals and guys alike) view marriage as disposable and one can use the first couple of tries to explore and move up (or out) and settle permanently later.

In a way that attitude is perhaps similar to what was sometimes termed as a "ladder" marriage in Soviet times. If you want to see ladies shamelessly preening to climb that marriage ladder up close, attend the next Phoenix Open golf tournament in Scottsdale. Some of those gals wouldn't know the difference between a putting wedge and a basketball, but they are there and ready to find Mr. Money Right. For some of them the only difference is geography and most of the Scottsdale broads tend to be upper 20s to low 40s, although in good condition. Plastic surgery is an amazing thing.

To a great many other young ladies and young men across the FSU however, it is exactly as mies describes, a more traditional view of marriage for love and as a long term commitment.

I liked local guys, and the guys that were around me were generally great guys.

A dating agency would never allow men to believe this, but this response by mies is very, very, very, very common locally.


Mies, our eldest daughter a few years back was courting a young man named "Sergei" and he was as you described, the son of a close friend of our family. Just before they went off to University, we spent a week touring the historic "Golden Ring" of Russia with all the region's glorious culture and little villages boasting magnificent churches and ancient monasteries, many already in existence before Russia was a united kingdom.

The two "kids" had a wonderful time with us and their experiences at Иваново and Сергиев Посад (Ivanovo and Sergeiv Posad monasteries) seemed to be very meaningful for their relationship. A few weeks later he left for school in the Urals and our daughter flew to the USA where she had been enrolled and it was expected that they'd see each other again over New Year/Christmas break. They had talked with us regarding potential wedding dates or whether they should wait till after completing school, etc.

Well, despite staying in touch with each other, "Sergei" didn't return to Moscow for the holiday. His parents, embarrassed, seemed to be surprised too and it was kind of awkward because the husband is director of the art agency that represents my wife. After the holiday contact between the two stopped and it was as if our young man had dropped off the map and no contact was made between he and our daughter until a couple years later when she had by then met a man and was planning to be married.

As it turns out "Sergei" had knocked up a classmate but instead of marrying the girl, had been torn for his feelings for our daughter and was indecisive about what to do. Thankfully that relationship was allowed to fade away and although it was very painful for our gal during that period of unexplained silence, I'm glad that she didn't marry someone with a "wandering eye" and found someone more compatible with her values and personality.

I've seen "Sergei" since, our once close relationship is more polite of course, and I sincerely hope that life will be good to him but I've not been shy about his responsibilities to the child and the other girl. His parents are on the same page so that hasn't been a stumbling block to our family friendship.

Our second/middle daughter remains stubbornly married only to her work but as I mentioned a few paragraphs up, the youngest was married last summer and while she chose a traditional courtship path as well, she made what appears to be a great decision and the new son-in-law is working for me part time. I like him and enjoy our working relationship despite the fact that his other part time job is as sound engineer for several Russian rap bands. Obviously he has no taste in music, yet his taste in wife material is quite good, and the rest of the family likes him as well so it probably doesn't matter what I think anyway.

I mention these excruciating details because most Western men only have an opportunity to travel a handful of times and see a very limited side of the FSU yet thinking what they've seen and experienced to be broadly representative in regards to attitudes and traditions.

In truth however, you have in Russia and Ukraine the same kind of people as you do in Boston, Canberra, Leeds or Toronto. Sure there are some cultural differences, but as has been said, Поскреби русского — найдёшь татарина ("scratch a Russian and you'll discover a Tatar") and I'll take some liberties in saying that in other words, we may appear to be from different branches but in reality we all harken back to the same tree. (That expression by the way isn't originally Russian--it is thought to be from Napoleon.)

There are as many pitfalls in dating someone in the FSU as there are back home. We instinctively know that, but perceive that the rewards are greater. I won't argue with the latter as long as both parties do their homework and make a truly informed decision.

That, my friend Youngbuck, the formulation of an informed decision, is a key for success. In most cases that takes some time and patience in long distance relationships.

[ML]

Very nice write-up Jim. 

Thanks for taking the time to give many of us a glimpse at the 'inside' story.   

[mendeleyev]

You are welcome, ML. 

[Muzh]

I don't know, I haven't seen her in person. I'm getting everything in order to go see her in late August/early September.

As far as her agency picture, I think everyone would agree she's cute. She has a small waist, and a booty, so she's hot to me.

YB

Until you've seen her and corroborated her existence, take everything she says (and don't say) with a grain of salt. As far as you are concerned she is just a picture.

[Muzh]

I think it is more of a perception than actual reality that your average educated FSUW faces. I think the FSU men beat, cheat, drink, etc. is a stereotype based on the masses but not on the educated minority.
The Russian men I have met at school are too "sweet" for my taste, I never got that macho vibe from them, and the Russian women were far from strong/aloof but generally sensitive. They put up a front about being strong and this and that, but they get easily offended and also have a very pessimistic world-view so they get easily discouraged. Although my exposure to FSU is limited to Academia which in itself is self-selective of a particular personality, so it's skewed.

Hint Hint:

If it not were for the different language, you swear you would be interacting with another latino(a).

Seriously, keep that in mind. It will become more obvious to you the more you learn about them.

To me, it was a flashback to the '60s in PR.

[YoungBuck]

YB

Until you've seen her and corroborated her existence, take everything she says (and don't say) with a grain of salt. As far as you are concerned she is just a picture.

Good point. Although, we swapped facebook info already, well she's on VK, but nevertheless, I know she exists and she's not lying about the stuff we talk about. I'm not much of an internet chat type of guy, I much prefer to be face-to-face, at most Skype/telephone, so I am getting a little impatient with waiting until August/Sept for the face-to-face meet.

To tell you the truth, most girls I dated, I usually met briefly, perhaps an hour or so through friends, then corresponded through text for a few days, maybe 2 weeks, before setting up a real date. Just playful banter with a few serious questions tossed in there, but this way I was able to weed out the ones who I had nothing in common.

[YoungBuck]

Hint Hint:

If it not were for the different language, you swear you would be interacting with another latino(a).

Seriously, keep that in mind. It will become more obvious to you the more you learn about them.

To me, it was a flashback to the '60s in PR.

That was my impression, so I am not worried about the cultural differences. In a way, I welcome it, since it could be fun to celebrate holidays differently. My biggest concern is living up to the hype of the "Western Man" myth. I'm sure they worry too so I hope unrealistic expectations don't get in the way (on both our parts).

[Muzh]

That was my impression, so I am not worried about the cultural differences. In a way, I welcome it, since it could be fun to celebrate holidays differently. My biggest concern is living up to the hype of the "Western Man" myth. I'm sure they worry too so I hope unrealistic expectations don't get in the way (on both our parts).

LMAO

Very few Western Men can dance salsa. And these ladies LOVE to dance salsa.