Thoughts on returning to Russia...what women are looking for.

[Boethius]

They haven't even met IRL, so how seriously should he take things?

[Ooooops]

The fake is more of not being direct enough to say what you mean. 


You're like a rock!

LiveFromUkraine, one more question - where you are from originally?   Isn't wonderful to be direct, it is so liberating!   


More like a rolling rock. 

[Ooooops]

They haven't even met IRL, so how seriously should he take things?

Very seriously if it involves children, IMO.   

[LiveFromUkraine]

LiveFromUkraine, one more question - where you are from originally?   

Michigan originally but I have lived in quite a few states. 

Isn't wonderful to be direct, it is so liberating! 

It was!  Unfortunately, the fake bug got me and I walk around all day smiling at people asking "How you doing?"  heh

More like a rolling rock. 

At least you're going places.   

[Boethius]

Very seriously if it involves children, IMO.   

My post history on the topic would confirm that I agree with this.  However, what I read from this encounter is a man who likely doesn't date casually, and one who spends a lot of time with his son.  So much so, that dating without the son knowing is nearly impossible.  You really can't hide these sorts of things from kids that age, particularly if they're bright.  In such a circumstance, I don't see the invitation, or the skype, as out of line or "light".  There is no use in wasting anyone's time if a woman is not going to accept the son, or vice versa, and I interpret this as a sign of the seriousness of his intentions (relationship rather than something casual).     

[Ooooops]

Michigan originally but I have lived in quite a few states. 

Cheesehead!   


Btw, Russian "добрый день" also can be considered fake and question "как дела" doesn't require very detailed explanation about your fortunes and misfortunes for the last few months.   

[Ooooops]

However, what I read from this encounter is a man who likely doesn't date casually, and one who spends a lot of time with his son.  So much so, that dating without the son knowing is nearly impossible. 

See, I'm reading totally opposite here - he takes his son to every date with every woman he just met on Internet.  What if we switch roles here and it would be single mother who'd bring her child with her to dates?   Weired...   

[LiveFromUkraine]

Cheesehead!    

That is Wisconsin.  haha

 I can picture Vasilisa's family if she had moved to the Cheeshead state. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

See, I'm reading totally opposite here - he takes his son to every date with every woman he just met on Internet.  What if we switch roles here and it would be single mother who'd bring her child with her to dates?   Weired...

I wouldn't want to meet the child unless I knew the mother and I developed something worth pursuing.  The last thing I would want is to be attached to the kid and have the relationship go bad with the mother. 

I think it is a tough situation with a lot to work through.  Things like how your role will be in the child's life would be something to discuss.  For me, introducing the child right away is sort of like "putting the cart before the horse."

[Ooooops]

That is Wisconsin.  haha

Oooooops!...       

[Ooooops]

I wouldn't want to meet the child unless I knew the mother and I developed something worth pursuing. 

Exactly my point.

[Boethius]

I wouldn't want to meet the child unless I knew the mother and I developed something worth pursuing.  The last thing I would want is to be attached to the kid and have the relationship go bad with the mother. 

I think it is a tough situation with a lot to work through.  Things like how your role will be in the child's life would be something to discuss.  For me, introducing the child right away is sort of like "putting the cart before the horse."

You're not talking about a young child here, but rather, an adolescent.   Whole different kettle of fish.

[LiveFromUkraine]

You're not talking about a young child here, but rather, an adolescent.   Whole different kettle of fish.

I don't see how it is different to what I was saying.  You can't get attached to an adolescent and him/her to you?  If the relationship doesn't work out what happens to that relationship with the adolescent?


I wouldn't want different women coming into and out of my kids life no matter if they were young or an adolescent. 

[Boethius]

In general terms, an adolescent is less likely to be accepting of a new relationship than a younger child.  As a general rule, with all those hormones in play, teens are more emotional, more "volatile" than younger children.  Plus, an adolescent is going to be aware that you are dating.  I think knowing your teen has no issues with you dating a particular individual earlier, rather than later, is a good idea.  If the kid can't stand the new person, the relationship will not be successful.

[LiveFromUkraine]

In general terms, an adolescent is less likely to be accepting of a new relationship than a younger child.  As a general rule, teens are more emotional, more "volatile" than younger children, with all those hormones in play.  Plus, and adolescent is going to be aware that you are dating.  I think knowing your teen has no issues with you dating a particular individual earlier, rather than later, is a good idea.

I don't really disagree with what you just wrote BO.  Kids knowing your dating isn't the same as you introducing dates into your kid's life.  I, personally, wouldn't want to introduce a woman into their lives unless I thought there was long term potential.  I think that is what Oooops meant as well.


If the kid couldn't stand me, I would work on that relationship. 

[Gator]

I am certain there is much more to this particular episode than "I spoke to his 14-yo son."  There are many possible explanations, some not even mentioned yet.  From one angle, maybe the RM wants to make his ex-wife jealous.  Or perhaps the RM is very close to his son and wants to hear his impression.     Each possible explanation we could hypothesize would be highly speculative based on what we know. 
 
I am pleased that Vasilisa's dating prelims are more to her liking in Russia than in America.  Let us see how a few dates progress.  Thanks Vasilisa for keeping us informed.  I hope you continue to do so.  It is a very interesting thread.

[Vasilisa]

Didn't y ou just say that your suitors were "sticky"?      And to tell you the true I find it a bit strange that father introduces his sun to a woman he is thinking about dating without even meeting her first...   Or was it "this is Auntie Vasilisa", a friend of Auntie Natasha, we gonna go fishing with her...".  How many Aunites was this kid introduced to already?

"Sticky" was used in a different way, it means showing a lot of attention at once and looking very excited and asking a lot of questions and inviting to continue (without  pressure) somewhere else. 
I remember someone was using the description of a relationship with a RW here:"if she liked you you will know this", you can definitely say this about the RM, I think they tend to show more feelings after the "date" and not waiting for you to show attention. He asked me what time I normally wake up and this morning I am getting a romantic text-message though I wasn't planning on getting up that early today . I also remembered that long time ago dating an American Ukrainian I received flowers on the next day after the first date, too. The AM sent a text message and then dissapeared waiting for your answer, RM just kept calling like crazy after the date:) I think RM are more like latino men.

As for the boy, well, the boy didn't look like a child at all. He is probably taller than me and has really wide shoulders, maybe because he is a swimmer, and as for the conversation 90% the conversation was with the father but we talked about his son and then about the school system as it's the end of the school year and about the boy's plans for the summer, as I had worked with children before I asked a question about the boy's school and the father couldn't answer, so he called the boy who was in a different room, the boy came, was introduced to me and we talked for several minutes.

[Vasilisa]

I would say it felt weird. Because it wasn't like a date with a stranger, it was more like you were invited to your relative's or your neighbor's  house. Somehow I feel we are different people from different worlds but at the same time it was what I could call a "very warm online date." Very interesting.

[Ooooops]

Plus, an adolescent is going to be aware that you are dating.  I think knowing your teen has no issues with you dating a particular individual earlier, rather than later, is a good idea. 

But they are not dating, you said it yourself!      When they start really "date" then yes, introduction to kids is fine and nesessary.

[Ooooops]

I would say it felt weird. Because it wasn't like a date with a stranger, it was more like you were invited to your relative's or your neighbor's  house. Somehow I feel we are different people from different worlds but at the same time it was what I could call a "very warm online date." Very interesting.

Yeah, you could say that.       But I'd get suspisious...    

[Ooooops]

BTW, on the subject of fake smiles - we are in Tokyo for a week and guess what?  People not only smile, but they also bow to you!   Pinnacle of fakerizm, huh?      I love Japan, been here so many times and loved it every one of them.

[LiveFromUkraine]

BTW, on the subject of fake smiles - we are in Tokyo for a week and guess what?  People not only smile, but they also bow to you!   Pinnacle of fakerizm, huh?      I love Japan, been here so many times and loved it every one of them.

Big time fakerism.  From my understanding, Japanese don't like to say no at all.  Something to do with "face."


I am planning on going end of this year or early next year.

[Ooooops]

Big time fakerism.  From my understanding, people don't like to say no at all.


I am planning on going end of this year or early next year.

Dont say yes or no, dont buy black or white...      No, they are pretty capable of saying no, but in apologetic way, not the getthef..outahereyoumoron honest one.   


Where to in Japan? 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Dont say yes or no, dont buy black or white...      No, they are pretty capable of saying no, but in apologetic way, not the getthef..outahereyoumoron honest one.   


Where to in Japan?

I want to spend some time in Tokyo and Osaka.  I am more of the type of guy that make plans after I get there.  haha  I got a friend in Osaka I want to hang out with.


Any tips on where to go?

[Ooooops]

I want to spend some time in Tokyo and Osaka.  I am more of the type of guy that make plans after I get there.  haha  I got a friend in Osaka I want to hang out with.

Its a good plan     I liked Himeji castle in Osaka, pretty cool.


Vasilisa, sorry about offtoping!