This is going to sound stupid, but....

[Kelmbaker]

A friend of a friend mentioned foreign wives as something that has worked for another acquiantance. Whom we thought would never settle down. He, like me, had been married three times, with the same result. Divorce. The last one with two boys in their preteen years that stayed with him. He married a Russian women that was beautiful, suppossedly a Colonel in the Russian Air Force, who dressed like a fashion model, and was well mannered. We were astounded because this guy had a great job, but was considered a nerd. That was 8 years ago, He's about to retire, they are still married.

So I'm a smart guy, I'll go to the internet. Holy crap, Batman. At first there are pages upon pages of these beautiful women who all want .....me! Yahoo!, jackpot. Then you send some furtive notes and get some obviously canned replies from some as young as 19. Hey I'm 51. What the heck would a 19 year old girl want with a 51 year old man? It didn't add up. Then they ( the web site owners, bureaus, whatever) wanted money. So I abandoned that search because it looks like, smells like, a scam. If it smells like a rose....

My questions: Why would all these Russian (Eastern European, South American, Fillipino, etc...) women want American, German, English men? Our divorce rates are soaring (as is the Russian), and we don't appear to be any different than anyone else.

Isn't there a web site where you can post your picture, go to a chat room, or otherwise "meet" a foreign women who is real, not after skinning my bank account?

I would never be able to learn Russian by lesson. It is not going to happen. I don't mind paying for help, but only if the help is real and there is no consumer's reports of these bureau's)

Can any give me some straight advice. Is this real (seems to be, at least partally). How do I start?

 

Thanks in advance,    Kelly 

[catzenmouse]

Kelly,

 Welcome to RWD. You'll find plenty of good info here. Read through the Starting Out section to get started and ask away. There are a lot of very knowledgable folks here who are doing/have done all this stuff.

Good Luck!

Ken

[Bruce]

Welcome!  If I were you I would first read as much of this board as possible starting with the sections you feel are most pertinent to your immediate questions.  Simultaneously decide what is most important for you in a wife.  Think if you have the time, resources and stomach to have a serious overseas relationship.  What kind of girl do you want?  Do you want one who was never married before or one that is divorced and with children?   It looks like you have at least one son.  If you can accept a girl with a child you will have a great chance of finding a truly beautiful girl.  The truly single girls without children tend to either not be the marrying kind or tend not to be as attractive as the ones with children once the women get into their thirties, in general.  Do you want to go to Ukraine or Russia?  Do you want a girl from a big city or one from the country?  How many flights do you want to make to see her?  Are you prepared to make these flights many times in the future?  If I were you and you really think you want to visit Russia or Ukraine or some of the other former republics, I would find a reputable agency to handle your trip from the moment you got off your plane until the moment you got back on.  As far as I am concerned you should visit the websites of legitimate full service agencies like Lifetimepartners as well as agencies with a business model like Firstdream.  By all means speak with Marc Dayton and Jack Bragg as well as owners of the few legitimate full service agencies out there.  Avoid the large tour companies.  Speak to the Angelica network owner.  Speak / email some of the super tour guides in Ukraine and Russia.  Decide what is best for you and take it from there.  Then, and this is my most important advice - pick the agency that you want to deal with and get your visa and plane ticket within two months.  Only then write a general letter of introduction and send it to the women who interest you that the agency confirms are available.  Learn as much Russian language and culture as you can.  Once you get off the plane enjoy the FSU, meet women with the help of the agency that are in and if you have time not in the agency as well ie. in shops, on the street, at a cafe etc. through your travels.  Once you meet a bunch of women you may if you are lucky find a few to correspond with.  Go home, think and write / call once you have already met.  See them or one of them again on a future trip.  Good luck.

[Kelmbaker]

Thanks Ken, Any help is appreciated. It just seems very strange to me. From all I read, women from other places are different from American women. The pictures certainly would lead you to believe they are more beautiful, and better dressed.

I don't know if I am going to pursue this route to a lasting marriage, but it seems promising. But I realize that the process is complicated, expensive, and might not be successful. It's time to learn all I can, then see if I want to proceed.

If anyone has any helpful suggestions, feel free to shoot 'em my way.

By the by, the picture is me and my son (who is now 17) on the Russian sub "Skorpion" at Long Beach ship yard, next to the Queen Mary. That is as close as I've ever come to anything Russian.

 

 

 

[BC]

Kelmbaker,

You hit the right place to start that's for sure.  What you make of it is up to you though.

I met my wife by chance.. wasn't even looking for a RU woman to marry.

Looking over my shoulder:

Know what you're getting in to.. it's an expensive and time consuming venture however you go about it.. not to mention one hell of a emotional roller coaster ride into the unknown.

Nothing, absolutely nothing is simple and quick.

Never believe anything you read on the internet about 'qualities' of RU women.

Last but not least:

If you're looking for an easier, softer way into a relationship this is definitely not it.

Don't get me wrong.. we're happy campers here.

[Elen]

Isn't there a web site where you can post your picture, go to a chat room, or otherwise "meet" a foreign women who is real, not after skinning my bank account?


Thanks in advance,    Kelly 

 Yes of course such site does exist and it's called antidate

http://forum.antidate.org/index.php?showforum=53

[BillyB]

Welcome Kelmbaker,

Do lots of reading here to learn from other mens experiences. You'll have a better chance in being successful. RW come have all types of personalities. What you need to do is correspond with a lot of women to get an idea how each one operates. Watch out for the ones who fall in love over letters or who always has money problems. Don't get paranoid over women that want a better life. We all do. Worry about the motives of the women that want a better life. Is she willing to contribute to the family's success or does she want a free ride? After you find a few women you are compatable with through letters, get on the phone with the women often. You can tell by the tone of their voice if they're into you. If not, move on! And don't fall in love with photos! All that remains is you getting a plane to visit one or more ladies.

Use your big head and you might find a gem as I did. Here's my ongoing trip report.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/forum6/1303.html

[PeeWee]

Peewee

[Kelmbaker]

Is "anti-date"what I think it is?

 

Kelly

[Turboguy]

Yes, surprisingly enough some websites are about what their name indicates.  Just like RussianWomenDiscussion is about discussing Russian women and NFL.com is about what is going on in the football world.  Anti-Date is a site for women to bash men, primairly Russian women who bash us lard ass, jerky, macho pigs.  There are two qualifications to get bashed.  You have to be a human being and you have to be a man.   Well, that might be a slight exageration but very slight.

[Bruno]

Anti-Date is a site for women to bash men, primairly Russian women who bash us lard ass, jerky, macho pigs.  There are two qualifications to get bashed.  You have to be a human being and you have to be a man.   Well, that might be a slight exageration but very slight.

Yeppp... some here speak about something they don't know...

Yes, antidate  have a scammer section like we have here... normal since you have scammer on both side, GCG and sexual tourist, keyboard romeo/juliette...

But the site itself is like here... topic post by FSU women over the process of international dating... a side part of the forum is the english forum, where you can find some members of these or other forum who post too...

For information, i have find my actual girlfriend via Antidate... sorry, i correct it, she have find me... she have like what i post and she have e-mail to me... so, antidate can be a help for find a date... this is only true if you are not a sexual maniac, not a keyboard romeo, not a jerk, etc ...

In any case, you can find information on these forum from russian women who are in FSU... something more actual that the already integrated FSU women in our western society...

Antidate is not bad, it is just the mirror reflexion of RWD... men world and women world... like between cat and dog, some little fight can appear but if you wish information about russian women, it is a good place...

Maybe Turbo don't like these site because several women don't agree with very big difference of age... a old man from 50 year old with a young cutie from 18 year old is not really see like a healthy relation by the women from these forum ( antidate )... a last year survey of the women members have show that around 10 year age difference seem to be right... Since our Turbo like date women near the legal age, being himself near the retirment age, he will not be really welcome there...

Since you ( Kelly ) wrote : "Hey I'm 51. What the heck would a 19 year old girl want with a 51 year old man? It didn't add up."... It seem that you think in the same direction that the antidate women...

[Turboguy]

Actually Bruno I was joking a little when I said that.   I have spent about 10 minutes on the site about a year ago and since most of the site is in Russian I read a few of the posts in the English section and they seemed fine.  To me I always thought the name sounded a little negative and some of the ones who seem to come in here have some very interesting ideas but do seem to think of men about like we think of scammers.  We have a lot of different personality types here and I am sure they have the same there.    I have no doubts there are a lot of intellegent people sharing some good ideas.

I didn't happen to read any posts there about their feelings on age differences but any of the men's forums such as this or RWG or RMP there are always a majority of people who feel a large age difference will never work and a few guys who manage to make it work such as Don at one of them who with his gal is leading a mutually happy life with a 40 year age difference.

Perhaps if I have had any misgivings about the site could be because of the PR people they have.


 

[Bruno]

To me I always thought the name sounded a little negative and some of the ones who seem to come in here have some very interesting ideas but do seem to think of men about like we think of scammers.

Some was welcome here by guys trowing stone at them... of course, since they have a russian character, the fireback was enough strong...

I didn't happen to read any posts there about their feelings on age differences but any of the men's forums such as this or RWG or RMP there are always a majority of people who feel a large age difference will never work and a few guys who manage to make it work such as Don at one of them who with his gal is leading a mutually happy life with a 40 year age difference.

On the english forum, you have a topic about age almost long that these here ( http://forum.antidate.org/index.php?showtopic=2660 )... if you seek other topic, you will find more... Age difference is always a top discussion on almost all forum... Of course, it can work with very large difference but it work better if you are in good shape with a big wallet ...

And in some case, the situation can be funny... Imagine a man from 60 year old, having a daughter of 40 year old who need to say mother to a young ukrainian from 18 year old... and if these daughter of 40 year old have herself a daughter from 20 year old, the  girl from 20 need to say grand mother to these of 18... :huh: very natural thing  

[Turboguy]

Yes, Bruno, I can't argue that some of the guys here were throwing stones at them and I definately can't disagree about the firey Russian character they had.  I do think in some of the cases they were more interested in disrupting things than in making an intelectual and helpful contribution to the discussions.   My brain just connected Anti-date with the disruptive people who used to visit here.

Actully the thread you posted is probably a little more interesting and insightful than some of the similar discussions I have seen on some of the boards that are primarily visited by men.

 

[PeeWee]

Yes, surprisingly enough some websites are about what their name indicates.  Just like RussianWomenDiscussion is about discussing Russian women and NFL.com is about what is going on in the football world.  Anti-Date is a site for women to bash men, primairly Russian women who bash us lard ass, jerky, macho pigs.  There are two qualifications to get bashed.  You have to be a human being and you have to be a man.   Well, that might be a slight exageration but very slight.

These are lesbians, correct? American lesbians are much the same so why worry about it?

Peewee

[Turboguy]

No, I did not get your meaning at first but I think they are not lesbians.  I am sure there are a few but it is mostly a forum like this for women who are looking for a husband and a few that to me just seem to be man haters.  I am sure in some cases they have been hurt and disapointed and have their reasons.   We sit sometimes and talk about the gals who have scammed us, the gals who have disappointed us and the gals who have used us for shopping trips and fancy dinners.  They just do the same.  I am sure we all think men all treat women wonderfully, with respect and honesty but there are as many bad men as there are bad women.  I have heard a lot of bad stories and it is sad.

[PeeWee]

No, I did not get your meaning at first but I think they are not lesbians.  I am sure there are a few but it is mostly a forum like this for women who are looking for a husband and a few that to me just seem to be man haters.  I am sure in some cases they have been hurt and disapointed and have their reasons.   We sit sometimes and talk about the gals who have scammed us, the gals who have disappointed us and the gals who have used us for shopping trips and fancy dinners.  They just do the same.  I am sure we all think men all treat women wonderfully, with respect and honesty but there are as many bad men as there are bad women.  I have heard a lot of bad stories and it is sad.

It goes both ways and everyone has their story. Experience serves those who have the patience to meet many and then chose one. After only 5 years at this I think that I can spot the one with the warm heart and the good intentions. Currently lady is a sweetheart. Does not seem to have any agenda other than finding just the right guy. Time will tell and for me she is not "10" but possibily one of the more intellectual women that I have met in a while. Last week she told me more about our immigration troubles and the Mexicans than I had read in the news or seen on TV and that downright impressed me.

Peewee