match.com and other websites

[Aloe]

So i'm looking at match.com and it only gives me 2 pages of results in 25-45 age range within 100 miles of san francisco. Yet according to http://www.ebizmba.com/articles/dating-websites it has 24 million unique visitors every month and is number one dating website in america? How can this be?? Same story for new york+100 mile range, only 3 pages of results.. I remember on yahoo personals there used to be dozens and dozens of pages for one location. What is going on there?
Is it possible that match keeps separate databases for different websites? It redirects me to uk.match.com , doesn't let me get on match.com itself.

Also, what website would you recommend for america?

[Ooooops]

Aloe, wouldn't it be better for you to hold off the search for a while?   

[Aloe]

Aloe, wouldn't it be better for you to hold off the search for a while?

I'm only in SF once in a lifetime And hubby said go ahead. I've read so much about american dating on here, i wanna see if its all ppl make it out to be! haha

[Ooooops]

And hubby said go ahead.

What are the divorce laws like in Belgium?   Otherwise this "go ahead" might come back and bite you on the bum...   

[Aloe]

What are the divorce laws like in Belgium?   Otherwise this "go ahead" might come back and bite you on the bum...

We don't have any common property or any debts or any cash or any pets or anything really, all we have is some furniture and a separate property marriage contract that says all that is in one's name belongs to that person no matter who how when and why they got it And we are applying for divorce with a mutual written agreement on everything that stipulates all the things.

[Patagonie]

Enjoy Aloe your time. Dating and sex are part of the real life, enjoy.

[Shadow]

You might try lavalife.com they offer different levels of dating, also locations based.
Of course most single US men live in Alaska.

[LiveFromUkraine]

POF.com is the biggest free site. 

[Lily]

POF.com is the biggest free site.

+ 1
 
So sorry to hear about what happened Aloe!

[Boethius]

I agree with Ooooops, and with Olga on the other thread.  You need to find out who you are before you start dating or looking for another relationship.

[Muzh]

Enjoy Aloe your time. Dating and sex are part of the real life, enjoy.

Wrong thing to say to a woman who is about to get divorced, Pat.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Aloe, I think you should go out, meet people and have some fun.  I don't understand why people think dating has to lead to something serious. Surprisingly, those experiences will help you grow as well.

[Boethius]

That's a male approach.  Not too many women I know of look at casual dating, leading to casual sex, as something desirable. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

That's a male approach.  Not too many women I know of look at casual dating, leading to casual sex, as something desirable.

You, and the women you know, must have been out of the dating scene for a long time.  I think Aloe can make her own decisions and going on some dates while in America is hardly a bad thing. 

[Boethius]

I know a fair number of single women, and most complain about the quality of men they meet.  Most would like to find a stable man and marry.  Most are not looking for casual sex.  Almost every woman I know who engages in casual sex does so thinking that if she sleeps with a man, it will lead to a serious relationship. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

I know a fair number of single women, and most complain about the quality of men they meet.  Most would like to find a stable man and marry.  Most are not looking for casual sex.  Almost every woman I know who engages in casual sex does so thinking that if she sleeps with a man, it will lead to a serious relationship.

Who said Aloe should be jumping into the beds of men?  Geez people, let's get a grip here.   


Great, all women you know wants a relationship and only sleeps with men to get said relationship.   People say things all the time but their actions speak differently.  If you want to continue your hearsay debate, we should start a new topic and leave this to dating sites.

[Faux Pas]

Patty your usual sage advice missed the mark here. It's patently obvious that Aloe doesn't even know herself very well. I would advise that she take some time as mentioned and get to know and like herself before involving another in her fantasy. She married as a child and things haven't changed much. The old cliche of "those that ignore history are doomed to repeat it" rings true here. I realize my attitude is likely considered old fashioned but, it is what it is.

Forget looking for another man Aloe. It will all happen in due time. Work on yourself first

[Muzh]

You, and the women you know, must have been out of the dating scene for a long time.  I think Aloe can make her own decisions and going on some dates while in America is hardly a bad thing.

I'll have to side with Boe here.

I know of quite a few relatively young ladies who went through divorce and tried to do what you suggest. It boiled down these ladies were looking for attention and validation. Some even said so. Lots of regret.

[LiveFromUkraine]

I'll have to side with Boe here.

I know of quite a few relatively young ladies who went through divorce and tried to do what you suggest. It boiled down these ladies were looking for attention and validation. Some even said so. Lots of regret.

Aloe needs to start experiencing life and making her own mistakes.  Going on a few dates while traveling America may end up being a good experience. 


You just don't know and telling her to lock herself into a bubble when it comes to men isn't something that will help her learn more about dating and what she wants.  We are only talking about going on a few dates or spending some time seeing some sites with someone who may end up becoming a good lifelong friend.


I agree that she shouldn't get into a relationship but that is hardly what it sounds like.  She is traveling to America and wants to meet some people and maybe go out on some dates.  Traveling by yourself for the first time can be scary and having some meetups can help.


I would also advise Aloe to check out couchsurfing.com to meet some people.  It may help Aloe meet some new friends.

[Aloe]

I'm with Live on this one, there will be no bed jumping, just "We are only talking about going on a few dates or spending some time seeing some sites with someone who may end up becoming a good lifelong friend." I don't see whats wrong with meeting people
I'm only there for 2 weeks, i couldn't organize a relationship in that time even if i wanted to

[Muzh]

Aloe needs to start experiencing life and making her own mistakes.  Going on a few dates while traveling America may end up being a good experience. 


You just don't know and telling her to lock herself into a bubble when it comes to men isn't something that will help her learn more about dating and what she wants.  We are only talking about going on a few dates or spending some time seeing some sites with someone who may end up becoming a good lifelong friend.

I agree that she shouldn't get into a relationship but that is hardly what it sounds like.  She is traveling to America and wants to meet some people and maybe go out on some dates.  Traveling by yourself for the first time can be scary and having some meetups can help.


I would also advise Aloe to check out couchsurfing.com to meet some people.  It may help Aloe meet some new friends.

Hold it right there.

No one here said she has to 'lock herself in a bubble' or anything like that. The suggestion was for her to understand who she is first before she goes out dating. Too many mistakes can happen for it to be a 'learning' experience.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Hold it right there.

No one here said she has to 'lock herself in a bubble' or anything like that. The suggestion was for her to understand who she is first before she goes out dating. Too many mistakes can happen for it to be a 'learning' experience.

Muzh, if you are going to quote me you should quote all of the saying.  I said "lock herself in a bubble when it comes to men."   Yeah, you guys are saying she shouldn't date until she is understands herself.  I am saying it takes time and experiences to understand yourself. 


I don't think you and some others are giving Aloe enough credit.  She is a smart girl and knows what can happen when certain boundaries are crossed.  That is, if I am understanding what you mean by"Too many mistakes can happen for it to be a 'learning' experience."


You are not living life if you are not making mistakes and learning from those mistakes. 

[Misha]

I'm with Live on this one, there will be no bed jumping, just "We are only talking about going on a few dates or spending some time seeing some sites with someone who may end up becoming a good lifelong friend." I don't see whats wrong with meeting people

I expect that there aren't many men on dating sites looking to for women to be friends   

[LiveFromUkraine]

I'm with Live on this one, there will be no bed jumping, just "We are only talking about going on a few dates or spending some time seeing some sites with someone who may end up becoming a good lifelong friend." I don't see whats wrong with meeting people
I'm only there for 2 weeks, i couldn't organize a relationship in that time even if i wanted to

couchsurfing.org will also be a good place to meet people.  I think mainly people your age because people my age don't want to sleep on stranger's couches when traveling.  haha


From my understanding, they have meetups and such so they tend to be a sociable group even if your not looking for a couch to sleep on.

[ML]

I'm with Live on this one, there will be no bed jumping, just "We are only talking about going on a few dates or spending some time seeing some sites with someone who may end up becoming a good lifelong friend." I don't see whats wrong with meeting people
I'm only there for 2 weeks, i couldn't organize a relationship in that time even if i wanted to

In this thread, we are seeing the undeniable difference between 'most' men and 'most' women.

Women can truly plan to just meet as friends with absolutely no intention of intimacy.

'Most' men cannot do this.  Even as they tell themselves and others that they can do it . . . the genetics (or whatever) intends something else.

How long to 'organize a relationship?'

Well, let's ask Marlon and Maria.