Was I just a piece of meat? Need woman's perspective.

[Fishingguy]

So this is a few years ago. I'm early 20's, just working after college.  Decent looks but I got a great personality . I found Helen's profile in a site and I write her. Long story short she's youthful and fun and we talk on the phone a few times. I studied Russian Literature, Ukrainian history and have a good tonque for the language so yeah I'm somewhat interesting to the young Russian or Ukraininan young woman.

So I meet Helen in Kiev.  We spend a few fantastic days together. We're like a couple.  As couples should be etc etc. So I go home and write her. She stops writing. Okay no biggie - I go on with life, date, meet people etc.  I called her a few times but they said she was not there and then they said she left to England. I figured she got married.

A few years later I plan a trip to London to meet a German lady I met on a plane ride a few months before. After two days together we realized it wasn't going to work. No biggie.  Luckily inside my trusty little computer is Helen's family's number. If she's in England maybe I can find her and have a nice dinner with her, catch up and also find out what happened.  So call her family and they somehow gave me her number and it turns out she's in London!  I was thinking flying over to France or Italy with the remaining week of vacation but decide I'd love to see Helen and finally solve this little mystery. Called her up and she's excited I'm in London and immediately tells me to visit her. She's renting a room from other Ukrainians in London. I meet them all - pretty cool.

We go back to my place.  It's like nothing has changed. We're acting like a couple..with all the cool things couples get to enjoy with each other. We spend another day in London doing the night life, bar, club etc.  It's fantastic. I mean who doesn't love hanging out with a slender beautiful blonde who is vivacious and full of life? Holding hands, pda enjoying a wonderful time in London.  Mind you I've been to London before but never had the company of a great woman like this. Londoners are usually cold, reserve and keep to themselves. I much prefer the company of Scots to the Brits. Anyway...spend another great night together...as two consenting adults. I goet a call from my company that I have to go back since there are some things I need to fix so that was our last night together. Next morning we say our goodbyes. I give her my business card with my home address, cell and home number. I tell her - "don't lose me again!" She tells me don't be silly and that she'll write.

Okay...I was so happy to see her I forgot to be a little angry and forgot to ask her why she stopped writing.  I probably was thinking...better not ask a question you're not ready to find out the answer to. I was just enjoying the moment and her.

So I go back home...no more communications.  So I give up..I mean...it's a little silly if someone obviously doesn't want to communicate with you.

So my question is what the heck was going on there? She wasn't using me for anything..money or passage to America. We had a great time together. I just don't get it. Atleast it would make more sense if she wanted to go to all the fancy resteraunts and have her boyfriend (me) buy her lots of things. That never happened. We enjoyed our time like two young students, eating pizza, drinking Guinness, playing darts and walking hand in hand at night. 

I'm a guy so I'll gladly enjoy all of this again but then I do have to wonder what happened? Maybe she got hurt, etc etc but I think I know that she just wanted to stop communicating.

[facetrock]

She's a sex tourist. Easy to see

[Vasilisa]

So far it looks like it's not important for you who to have a relationship with, if one girls stops writing you find another girl, if it doesn't work with another girl you call to check the previous one to know if she is available.

RW are normally good at understanding what men want, you are not a serious relationship material and girls know that, why does it bother you they are not serious?!

[Faux Pas]

You have her phone number in London. Why not call her and find out?

Welcome to RWD guy 

[ML]

Probably not the case,  but it could just be 'lost' communication.

Here is something that happened for real to me.

Had a pretty good friend going back about 30 years; we worked at same organization.

We both moved on but kept some infrequent contact via phone.  Visited each other's homes a couple of times when in area.

When email came along, that took over for phone calls.
I have him on my email joke list, but he is not too humorous, so he only replies once in a while.  He mainly sends me references to some research work.

Then a few years back, I start telling him about my encounters with FSUW.  Practically no response from him. 

I think maybe somehow he disapproves totally;  or some such.

He did tell me that his wife had moved to another state to be with her grandchildren; but said they were still on great terms and he approved of it.

Last year, when Ochka went back to Ukraine for summer, I sent him email inviting him to come visit with me for a few days, a week, etc.

No reply at all.  I am thinking . . . fock him, I am getting tired of  this.  But I did try to call him at his last home number I had and an office number.  No one answered and no answering machine.

Just last week, he sent me another reference to an article.  First time  I had seen an email from him  for several months.  At bottom of email  was his standard info about title, organization, phone, etc.  I was on computer when his  email arrived, and I immediately  dialed his number from my gmail phone capability.

He said:  WOW, long time no hear;  what the he!! have you been doing?

I chit chatted casually for awhile, but finally broached the big burning question:
Why haven't you responded to my emails, particularly the one where I invited you to come visit me last summer when we were both 'bachelors' for several weeks?

Him:  "I never got such an email.  I would have loved to come visit with you at that time."

Me:  Well, you get some of my emails . . . right?  (I send a lot of jokes).

Him:  Not many . . . I THINK MY COMPANY'S SYSTEM FILTERS OUT A LOT OF INCOMING EMAIL.

Me:  Holy crap,  why didn't you tell me and give me another email address, like a private one?

Him:  Sorry, just never thought about it.  (He is quite absent minded and gets really absorbed into his work.)

Me:  Well OK, then I invite you to come right now, as my gal is gone again.

Him:  Oh crap, I have to finish a big project by the end of the month.

Me: Ochka will be back then . . . but  you can come anyway in July.

Him:  I promised wifey that I would fly to her and we are going to spend July and August traveling overseas.  How about I come in September.

Me:  OK, but Ochka will be back in school and quite busy . . . but plan to come  anyway.

Him:  Really sorry about this that we lost so many years.  I thought you had dropped me as good friend.

Me:  Ditto

[Patagonie]

You have her phone number in London. Why not call her and find out?

Welcome to RWD guy 

Because if you do this you loose more and more your value and you reward her for her bad attitude. When you have not enough
value with a woman, and especially with an eastern woman you are more than dead (a dead has a grave, so he can be visited. With eastern women your corpse is diluted at the opposite of the galaxy)
It is why you should let her go and focus on others girls, you are young and not engaged.
So definitively : NEXT.

See Vassilia's post : "So far it looks like it's not important for you who to have a relationship with, if one girls stops writing you find another girl, if it doesn't work with another girl you call to check the previous one to know if she is available.

RW are normally good at understanding what men want, you are not a serious relationship material and girls know that, why does it bother you they are not serious?!"

Rather than to be driven by the illlogical behavior of a woman, it is better to have your own life.

[Fishingguy]

hm....it's still a mystery to me. I called her London number a few times but since it's like a boarding house the first time no one spoke English and the second time they said Helen was no longer there.

I guess I felt I was once bitten already and just let it go. Two years after that I moved out of state - changed phone and addresses so if she did try to notify me then she'd hit a brick wall. But then..it would have been 2 years.

Vasilisa I do understand what you're saying but...

I wrote letters to a really interesting lady in Donestk before I met Helen. I thought we had a great connection since I was only a few years older than her and I worked in her industry.  After 4 long letters she stopped. I think I probably wrote her home address 8 times over the next year. I guess she found someone who connected more..and saw her in person and proved they were more serious. 

That was my thinking of Helen but the thing is that we met, had a wonderful time together then silence.  And for her to do it two times...it makes a guy confused.

I did consider just flying to London but I guess I was not ready to look the fool if I went there and saw her with some British guy.  I had a gf once that I thought she was cheating on me - it turns out she was cheating on her bf with me! You feel slimey and cruddy at that point.

But you know..if I'm intimate and having a wonderful time with that person..it's just that person. I'd stop dating other people or trying to date other people or in this context..contacting other people to get to know them.

[cc3]

Because if you do this you loose more and more your value and you reward her for her bad attitude. When you have not enough
value with a woman, and especially with an eastern woman you are more than dead (a dead has a grave, so he can be visited. With eastern women your corpse is diluted at the opposite of the galaxy)
It is why you should let her go and focus on others girls, you are young and not engaged.
So definitively : NEXT.

See Vassilia's post : "So far it looks like it's not important for you who to have a relationship with, if one girls stops writing you find another girl, if it doesn't work with another girl you call to check the previous one to know if she is available.

RW are normally good at understanding what men want, you are not a serious relationship material and girls know that, why does it bother you they are not serious?!"

Rather than to be driven by the illlogical behavior of a woman, it is better to have your own life.

+100

[OlgaH]

Rather than to be driven by the illlogical behavior of a woman, it is better to have your own life.

+100

+200

[Ooooops]

Sometimes cigar is just a cigar.      She had good time with you as a fling, but didn't see you as a future mate. 

[Anotherkiwi]

When you have not enough value with a woman, and especially with an eastern woman you are more than dead (a dead has a grave, so he can be visited. With eastern women your corpse is diluted at the opposite of the galaxy).

Absolute classic! 

[OlgaH]

Sometimes cigar is just a cigar.      She had good time with you as a fling, but didn't see you as a future mate.

or she is not interested in an idea of future mate at all. 

[ML]

Sometimes cigar is just a cigar.

Not Monica's experience.

[cc3]

Not Monica's experience.

    

[Ooooops]

Not Monica's experience.

That's what happens when you don't inhale... 

[JohnDearGreen]

So my question is what the heck was going on there?

"Was I just a piece of meat".  She is probably asking herself the same question.  Sounds like you both found what you were looking for.  It is difficult to believe you wouldn't have asked her about things in person.  Just handing her your business card doesn't exactly make it sound like a romantic encounter.

[Ade]

You were probably a laugh to be around in the day time but crap in bed so not worth keeping.

And, FWIW, the Scottish are Brits too.

[ancha1c]

You were probably a laugh to be around in the day time but crap in bed so not worth keeping.

And, FWIW, the Scottish are Brits too.

haha )
+100

[Patagonie]

You were probably a laugh to be around in the day time but crap in bed so not worth keeping.

And, FWIW, the Scottish are Brits too.

Perhaps quite the opposite i would say... 

[Patagonie]

 

Not Monica's experience.

[Fashionista]

or she is not interested in an idea of future mate at all. 

Or she is already married.    Plenty of possibilities...

[Shadow]

Do not read unless you can stand a tiny dog biting at your ankles.

From your posts it seems you are quite a stalker. After one day you experienced as positive you just do not let go if you get no more communication, and even in writing letters you seem extremely clingy.
Keep it simple. If a woman after meeting does not show any signs of increased interest, let it go. If she stops writing, try two or three letters to see if her PC broke down, then let it go.

You will not earn respect by running after women like a lost puppy, and if a RW does not respect you, you have zero chance of a marriage.

[Gator]

That's what happens when you don't inhale...

Can be interpreted two different ways.  One is funny, the other hilarious.
 
 

[Fishingguy]

thanks for all replies. it's still a little mystery..don't think she was married.  I've got a pretty good ego and self confident but I'm a good self accessor. I'm not the kind of guy who is "the other guy". I'm the long term boyfriend type who gets the girl through humor, intelligence and my thoughtfullness not my looks or whatever. so it's a little strange to think of her using me for sex. I mean she's a gorgeous woman with a fantastic outgoing personality. I hardly think those kind of of women have a hard time finding willing bed or life partners.

yess Brits are Scots..I meant English and Scots. The farther you go north it seems they merrier they become. And the same can be said for the Irish too.

having said that..I found the response threads funny and amusing with some insightful comments.  c'est la vie. Thank you nonetheless..

[ML]

And, FWIW, the Scottish are Brits too.

But, aren't the Scots discussing and preparing for voting to . . . not be Brits in the future?

Yes, I know they have been trying this for centuries in battle, etc.

But this time around it will be by vote; as I understand it.