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Author Topic: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later  (Read 4733 times)

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Offline salsa_tino

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Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« on: June 26, 2013, 08:09:32 AM »
Got tired of AWs over the years & started looking at RW/UW about 10 yrs ago.  I was still quite young 32 & didn't have a good paying job at the time so I kinda of put this on the back burner for a few years.  Next thing you know, it's 10 yrs later and I'm looking once again at the FSU option.

Just wanted to say hey, and will begin doing my due diligence on reading the posts here.  Just spent the last two days reading dozens of threads, links, and more.  Still have a ways to go before I can ask educated questions.

Chris

Offline salsa_tino

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2013, 08:18:52 AM »
Probably a year out before making an actual commitment as I would like to first:
  • learn russian as a long-term commitment
  • learn RW/UW culture to minimize culture indifferences
  • take my time learning about the different agency option (spent a month on Anastasia before realizing it's focused on servicing itself rather than servicing me)


An odd question, if I may.  Would you recommend job transferring to Russia, if possible?  If so, how much time would you require to adequately learn the language to a semi-proficient level?  Looked online through my company's job listings, and found a few available in FSU (work for a global tech company).

Thx.

Offline Patagonie

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2013, 08:23:32 AM »
Probably a year out before making an actual commitment as I would like to first:
  • learn russian as a long-term commitment
  • learn RW/UW culture to minimize culture indifferences
  • take my time learning about the different agency option (spent a month on Anastasia before realizing it's focused on servicing itself rather than servicing me)

An odd question, if I may.  Would you recommend job transferring to Russia, if possible?  If so, how much time would you require to adequately learn the language to a semi-proficient level?  Looked online through my company's job listings, and found a few available in FSU (work for a global tech company).

Thx.


Point 1 yes
Point 2 yes
Point 3 yes but not Anastasia, this is the most shit agency, you will loose your time, money and never learnt something, to be swindled has never help people. Just read RWD and you will find all valuable tools you need.

Job transferring Russia yes. But Russian is not easy. One year ? Optimist.
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, c taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, I belong to the festival.

Offline Boethius

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2013, 08:25:11 AM »
Point 2, no.  You will never learn the culture well enough to truly minimize differences, because it is the mentality, not the culture, that is different.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline salsa_tino

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2013, 08:39:41 AM »
Interesting responses.  Perhaps 1-yr to learn Russian is very optimistic.  I thought of going the Michel Thomas route for basic understanding and conversational basics, or go back to college and take multiple courses instead.  Lots of investment there before even considering an actual vist.

Then again, I would still love to visit in between.  Love to see St. P, Moscow, and perhaps a few other sites.  With that, I seem to get older.  Currently turning 42 (Sept) and realistic about age differences.  Don't like younger girls (AWs under 27) because there's not too much in common other than bedroom fun, and because we're at different points in our life.  Hoping 15-yr difference is doable.

Offline Lily

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2013, 08:41:20 AM »
Probably a year out before making an actual commitment as I would like to first:
 
  • learn russian as a long-term commitment
  • learn RW/UW culture to minimize culture indifferences
  • take my time learning about the different agency option (spent a month on Anastasia before realizing it's focused on servicing itself rather than servicing me)

An odd question, if I may.  Would you recommend job transferring to Russia, if possible?  If so, how much time would you require to adequately learn the language to a semi-proficient level?  Looked online through my company's job listings, and found a few available in FSU (work for a global tech company).

Thx.

I wouldn't call it an odd question. If a job transfer to Russia is in line with your career, I highly recommend it for your purpose of finding a Russian wife.
 
A few reasons for it. First, you will have more time to live in Russian natural environment and plenty of opportunities to meet a variety of local women. Restrictions in terms of face time is a considerable obstacle in this type of personal relationships. At the same time, your travel costs that are quite an issue for the wife hunters, as well as your relocation costs will be undertaken by your empoyer (isn't it nice?).
 
Having said that, I don't think that you should make efforts to learn Russian language. You may, in case it is a pleasure for you and satisfies your intellectual curiosity, however, I would not put it as a condition of finding a Russian woman. Too much efforts vs. relatively little usefulness.
 
In case you go to Russia for a prolonged time, like for work, you will have plenty of time to meet Russians, a number of who will be more or less proficient in English. Every day, you will meet your local female colleagues, ladies from the neighbour companies in the elevators and lobby of your office building, waitresses, cleaners, doctors, lawyers, landladies, etc, etc. This will be more than enough for your casual or business acquaintances.
Da, da, Canada; Nyet, nyet, Soviet!

Offline Gator

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2013, 09:01:28 AM »
Your first FSU culture lesson:  RW do not like procrastinators.  RW appreciate strong men who know what to do and do it. 
 
So advance your timeline such that you are planning for a trip to the FSU in October.  You can do it because getting to know RW is not difficult.   
 
I suggest you learn a little Russian and meanwhile start corresponding with a few RW from reputable agencies such as Elena's Models.    There are other agency options, but at least get started now and see how it goes.
 
Every RW is different, and how they manifest the cultural differences will differ.  Correspond with a few open-minded RW who speak English and believe you are cute and interesting.  In getting to know them, you will learn more than a little about the culture (most are direct enough to tell you).   
 
I believe you will be ready for a trip in 3-4 months.   In fact, if you told RW that you would not travel for a year, very few would want to continue corresponding.
 
 
I learned more about football by playing football rather than reading about it.
 
 

Offline cc3

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2013, 10:26:10 AM »
 :welcome: to RWD, s_t.

If able to wrangle a company transfer to RF or UA, Lily, above, has absolutely the best advice you will receive.

If unable to transfer, my advice is to search only for a woman with an adequate (by your measure and requirements) command of English. You will relate with her immeasurably better than with a non-speaker and her interpreter sandwiched between the two of you. All the Russian, Ukrainian, Czech, Bulgarian, Polish, Romanian, Hungarian, or Baltic language (you should consider any former Soviet Bloc nation for your search) you would need to know would be a full assortment of polite words and phrases to facilitate your travels and socialization with the locals.

My happiest times, while searching, have been with English speakers, unhappiest and least fulfilling times with non-English speakers. My fiancee is not only a speaker but also both a university student pursuing a degree in English and a private tutor/teacher of English. Being with her is utterly delightful and fulfilling when it comes to communicating our innermost thoughts and feelings to each other.

Good luck in your quest! 

Offline CaptB

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2013, 06:25:39 AM »
I think Gator is on the right track. When you talk of being about "a year out" before making a trip........sounds like a little more procrastination IMHO. My first trip was a blast! Russia was a place I always wanted to visit. I picked a date about four months into the future. I wrote 16 letters of introduction of about 3/4 of a page in length. I received 14 replies. The letters were sent out about six weeks before my departure. I had decided long correspondence with 14 women would be tedious......hence....the short correspondence time. All of the women knew I was actually coming on a specific date. If you can not make a trip in 3-4 months time.....and you have wait a year......I would probably recomend waiting. It may sound like fun corresponding, phoning, skyping etc. But the serious RW have better things to do than entertain "you" for a year .....or more. For four months (about an hour a day) I used tapes in my car with a program called...."Learn Russian in your car". Great for learning important phrases like greetings, transportation, shopping etc. Not very in depth (Rosetta Stone is great).......but useful. Your Russian friends will appreciate the effort. I think too many AM complain when "she does not speak enough English". I appreciate any efforts that an RW makes towards learning some English. If you are going to visit Russia.....its just good manners to make an effort to learn some of the language.


I was 49 y.o. when I made my first trip. Yes....I wrote letters.....it was 13 years ago. I made a few phone calls also. Skype would have been handy back then. A year or more from now.........NAHHHHHH! Pick a nice city you would like to visit.......dose not have to be Moscow or St. Petersburg (but you can include one or both as part of your trip). Make contacts with RW in your chosen city. After a short time......pick a date....make plans.....go. I think you are "over-thinking" your preparation. You already  let 10 years slip by. You could be missing the time of your life. Good luck. Hopefully you will come to your senses:-)




Capt B
"A Yooper in Moscovia"

Offline mies

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2013, 02:26:30 PM »
Probably a year out before making an actual commitment as I would like to first:
  • learn russian as a long-term commitment
  • learn RW/UW culture to minimize culture indifferences
  • take my time learning about the different agency option (spent a month on Anastasia before realizing it's focused on servicing itself rather than servicing me)

An odd question, if I may.  Would you recommend job transferring to Russia, if possible?  If so, how much time would you require to adequately learn the language to a semi-proficient level?  Looked online through my company's job listings, and found a few available in FSU (work for a global tech company).

Thx.

If your objective is to marry, and you want to get married to a FSUW - I recommend you start with relocating to FSU/Russia.
This will help you achieve your objectives much faster.
1) it will increase your dating pool from "women on international dating web sites" to "all local women."
2) you will learn the language much faster while living in Russia and immersed into the russian-speaking environment. You will learn the Russian even faster if you will have a Russian girlfriend in addition to taking language classes.
3) you will learn differences in culture while observing your girlfriend, colleagues, their friends and families, in their natural environment. Much more efficient learning process than learning from online sources.
I've read recently an interesting summary of cultural differences in the IT company setting, and will try to find the link for you.

Offline mies

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2013, 02:44:28 PM »
Your first FSU culture lesson:  RW do not like procrastinators.  RW appreciate strong men who know what to do and do it. 

True. Especially if procrastination happens in the relationship. American men think that "we'll date for 5 years or so until we get comfortable with getting married" is a good plan. Russian woman generally think that 1 year is sufficient time to decide whether you are ready to marry or not. If she doesn't feel like relationship is going somewhere or moving fast enough - she'll move on from the man.

Offline CaptB

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2013, 02:54:23 PM »
Mies,


I would agree with you 100%......for those who have the time, finances and business prospects in the FSU. But for most...probably at least 99%   ....this would not be practical. When I was still dating I would have loved the opportunity to live and work in Russia....personally.




Capt B
« Last Edit: July 30, 2013, 11:58:21 PM by CaptB »
"A Yooper in Moscovia"

Offline Patagonie

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2013, 03:09:59 PM »
True. Especially if procrastination happens in the relationship. American men think that "we'll date for 5 years or so until we get comfortable with getting married" is a good plan. Russian woman generally think that 1 year is sufficient time to decide whether you are ready to marry or not. If she doesn't feel like relationship is going somewhere or moving fast enough - she'll move on from the man.
+2
The time is compressed with FSU women, and in the first meetings, and in the way to lead to marriage.
"Je glissais through the paper wall, an angel in the hand, c taboy. I lay on the floor, surgi des chants de Maldoror, je mix l'intégrale de mes nuits de crystal, I belong to the festival.

Offline Slumba

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2013, 03:18:05 PM »
You could easily study Russian - while in Russia or Ukraine! 

Check the university of a city you are interested in visiting - they will have a language department and some of them will offer Russian as a course of study...
Me gusta ir de compras con mi tarjeta verde...

Offline mies

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Offline mies

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #15 on: July 31, 2013, 09:52:21 AM »
Mies,


I would agree with you 100%......for those who have the time, finances and business prospects in the FSU. But for most...probably at least 99%   ....this would not be practical. When I was still dating I would have loved the opportunity to live and work in Russia....personally.


Capt B

CaptB, thank you. I probably need to clarify that my advice was not general, to the whole group of FSUW wife seekers. I was giving specific answers to the questions raised by OP, relevant to his situation.
He said he can go to work in FSU (I presume this doesn't mean harming his career), he doesn't have strong commitments/ties to USA (no young children, sick parents, multiple pets, etc.), and he wants to marry a FSUW. Instead of just going to FSU he considers first to learn culture and study the language. I think this is again a procrastination. He can just go to FSU - start with applying for job transition, and while his assignment is pending - learn some russian language and culture, and then learn them locally in USA. He can go to FSU, date there, get married, and few years later return to USA with a wife. She will get permanent GC - without the pressure of fiance visa and 2 years temporary/conditional GC, so there will be far less stress for her and in the relationship. Wife's transition to "Western life" will be gradual, she will not need to abandon her family and friends to move in with merely a stranger, but rather she will move together with her husband, the closest person for her, to the new country. A completely different story than being a MOB.
They will have a better understanding of their marriage and relationship, will know each other better, the OP will learn slavic culture first hand, will feel the member of wife's family, will have more trust in his wife, many of potential misunderstandings and conflicts will be eliminated.

Generally, I think, marriage formed this way (WM moves temporarily or permanently to FSU, dates there and marries a woman there) will be much healthier. I don't see why OP would not want to take this wonderful opportunity. Plus, even before he finds his future wife, he can go to the bars and clubs and social outings in FSU and hang out with REAL GIRLS instead of wasting his time on dating sites. He can be sure that the girl looks exactly as he sees her (vs. photoshoped pics on dating sites), he will know immediately if she is interested in him or not, he can be sure that she is really a girl and not some dude hiding behind the computer screen typing "i love you" letters to gullible WM, he can get a date with her next day, or even the same day, and ask all questions, and receive the answers, and see whether there is a good potential for relationship, without waiting for months and planning a trip.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2013, 09:59:43 AM by mies »

Offline mies

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2013, 05:32:20 AM »

Having said that, I don't think that you should make efforts to learn Russian language. You may, in case it is a pleasure for you and satisfies your intellectual curiosity, however, I would not put it as a condition of finding a Russian woman. Too much efforts vs. relatively little usefulness.

I disagree. Learning the language is learning how the person thinks. If you do not speak the language of your spouse - you would never truly understand how their mind works. Add to this the benefit of being able to communicate to the spouse's family - her parents, siblings, remote relatives. Imagine, guys, that you and your wife speak common language, but different from your native language. Then you bring your wife to family reunions and not only she can't speak to any one of your relatives and immediate family, they also can't speak to her. What a frustration!

It is important to speak the language of your spouse, but the OP doesn't need to learn Russian language before he "plunges into" the FSUW wife search.

Offline jone

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Re: Procrastinator taking the plunge.....10 yrs later
« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2013, 06:26:58 AM »
Hey, he's asking the right questions.

Salsa, there will be many opinions on here.  You don't need to respond to all of them.  But from my own journey, I can tell you that you are asking the right questions and that means your head is in the right place.  Now, get on a plane. 

I always wanted to get a personalized license plate for my CAR that just said:  PEDIEM

(Maybe ten years later I will?)

You get the gist.
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

 

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