City Women Vs Country Gals

[ML]

  Do you consider yourself an urban dweller or a country bumpkin (as we say in the USA)?

I am a bi-dwelkin.

And Ochka is also.

We now have 2 fairly red Early Girl tomatoes.  BLTs just around the corner.

[Ooooops]

I am a bi-dwelkin.

And Ochka is also.

Bi-dwelkin.  I like it. 

[dsbean]

Thanks guys and gals and things have taken a rather unexpected turn so I would appreciate some advice please.

Things are going well with Ekaterina, very well and I would agree that, at least in it's written form, the warmth and sincerity of her letters is much more telling than her poor sentence structure. She freely talks about her life, warts and all, the pics she sends me are very natural and not in anyway 'glammed up' and she loves her life in Russia.

Anyhoo, I have started to mention the possibility of visiting her, where we might meet/stay, blah blah blah and starting thinking about visa, etc etc and we were thinking maybe something In August, maybe a long weekend, seems reasonable, not too much to risk, maybe 4/5 days for a start.

However, she wants to come and visit me! She wants to take some holiday, jump on a plane to London and see me! I was not prepared for this! Plus, she wants to pay for it herself! I have offered to pay for somewhere for us to stay and I will insist on that but she insists on at least paying for her own travel?!

Thoughts?!? I take it this isn't 'normal' behaviour!? I never thought a woman would make the first leap?!

Plus, in answer to a previous question, I am both actually. I was born and raised in London but I now live on the Isle of Wight (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isle_of_Wight if you are curious), a small island off the south coast of the UK but can get into London in less than 2 hours.

I am rather dumbfounded! I think OK, she can come and see London and all that has to offer but she says that seeing me is her main priority? I hate to be cynical about this but is this a little odd for a woman from Syktyvkar?

[Faux Pas]

Thanks guys and gals and things have taken a rather unexpected turn so I would appreciate some advice please.

Things are going well with Ekaterina, very well and I would agree that, at least in it's written form, the warmth and sincerity of her letters is much more telling than her poor sentence structure. She freely talks about her life, warts and all, the pics she sends me are very natural and not in anyway 'glammed up' and she loves her life in Russia.

Anyhoo, I have started to mention the possibility of visiting her, where we might meet/stay, blah blah blah and starting thinking about visa, etc etc and we were thinking maybe something In August, maybe a long weekend, seems reasonable, not too much to risk, maybe 4/5 days for a start.

However, she wants to come and visit me! She wants to take some holiday, jump on a plane to London and see me! I was not prepared for this! Plus, she wants to pay for it herself! I have offered to pay for somewhere for us to stay and I will insist on that but she insists on at least paying for her own travel?!

Thoughts?!? I take it this isn't 'normal' behaviour!? I never thought a woman would make the first leap?!

Plus, in answer to a previous question, I am both actually. I was born and raised in London but I now live on the Isle of Wight (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isle_of_Wight if you are curious), a small island off the south coast of the UK but can get into London in less than 2 hours.

I am rather dumbfounded! I think OK, she can come and see London and all that has to offer but she says that seeing me is her main priority? I hate to be cynical about this but is this a little odd for a woman from Syktyvkar?

Don't just run, run and throw rocks. You've been had

[dsbean]

OK FP, I am warned. It does seem odd but only odd to me because I wasn't expecting it.

That's why it's helpful to get the views of the more experienced men

[ML]

Likely . . . if this plan develops further, she will at some point tell of an unexpected expense that came up for her . . . so could you please send money for her airfare, etc.  She will even pay you back later.

Too early to predict for sure at this point; but a fairly standard scenario.

[Misha]

Which site were you using? Two scenarios: she will ask you for money and disappear or she is sincere but does not know how hard it can be to get a visa. Either way, don't send money.

[dsbean]

Thanks fellas, good advice. She ain't getting any cash out of me either way and i'll see how it plays out, it'a all a good learning experience. I have followed all the good advice thus far and I am not going to stop now. I will ask her about visas and see what that produces, might be fun stringing this out for a while.

I don't fall in love very easily, good job really!

I met her on FDating, when I started looking I signed up for a few of the free sites with low expectations, she was one of the initial batched I emailed and was one of the ones that emailed back.

[Misha]

FDating? Never heard of it, but I do not know many of them.

[Patagonie]

You are already loosing the control of you dating right now.
What are going to do when the ticket would be bought and suddenly she will tell you, i need 55 € per day to get the visa for consulate needs and  i don't have the money ?
If it gets serious what are going to say to consulate later, when they will understand that you use a tourist visa and pretend to know her, or not know her ?
A girl who wants to travel the 3th july ? tons of !
A girl who wants a real relationship ? Would she be ready to meet you in her city ? Is she more interested in London or in you ? If things go wrong you will stay with this doubt for a long time.

You go to the country, you stay in control, you have no headache about money, visas, doubts. If she dumps you after two hours you can rebound in the day.

[Gator]

dsbean,
 
Now you know that her volunteering to travel to the UK is a travel scam in most cases.  Some might think she is naïve; however, naïve women are rarely adventurous enough to travel alone to a foreign country.   Also, travel scams usually involve better English describing how she is lonely and you are her dream man.
She said she would pay for the travel expenses.  What is her job to be able to afford such an expense?   
 
If you think she is serious but naïve, tell her to save her money and meet you in St. Piter.  Meanwhile, start corresponding with some other women who live near St. Piter.

[OlgaH]

One of my girlfriends travels a lot. UK, France, Italy, Germany.  When she met one of her potential boyfriends on one of free websites it was not a big problem for her to go to France to meet him and have a short vacation at the same time. She works, earns good money and have no problem to pay for her trips and stays when ever she wants.

dsbean, maybe for your lady it is not a problem as well. Don't be in hurry to suspect and put her in scam list before time. Get some more information first.

[Faux Pas]

One of my girlfriends travels a lot. UK, France, Italy, Germany.  When she met one of her potential boyfriends on one of free websites it was not a big problem for her to go to France to meet him and have a short vacation at the same time. She works, earns good money and have no problem to pay for her trips and stays when ever she wants.

dsbean, maybe for your lady it is not a problem as well. Don't be in hurry to suspect and put her in scam list before time. Get some more information first.

Well there is always that one "outside" chance that the woman is sincere and actually already has a British visa but, it is quite remote. I called flat out BS on it. If you had read his description of their emails and the short time they have been communicating it's pretty obvious she's teeing him up to relieve him of some money. You were well traveled IIRC, were you ready to fly to Florida and meet Robert after 2 weeks and at your expense?

[dsbean]

Thanks all, great advice. I am pretty sanguine about it, she is getting no cash so that will be the deciding factor.

I will explore the visa issue and suggest some alternatives, it's certainly a good learning process.

Thanks again

[GQBlues]

...Things are going well with Ekaterina, very well and I would agree that, at least in it's written form, the warmth and sincerity of her letters is much more telling than her poor sentence structure. She freely talks about her life, warts and all, the pics she sends me are very natural and not in anyway 'glammed up' and she loves her life in Russia.

Anyhoo, I have started to mention the possibility of visiting her, where we might meet/stay, blah blah blah and starting thinking about visa, etc etc and we were thinking maybe something In August, maybe a long weekend, seems reasonable, not too much to risk, maybe 4/5 days for a start.

However, she wants to come and visit me! She wants to take some holiday, jump on a plane to London and see me! I was not prepared for this! Plus, she wants to pay for it herself! I have offered to pay for somewhere for us to stay and I will insist on that but she insists on at least paying for her own travel?!...

Man...why can't this kind of crap happen to me. Some guys have all the luck, damned! I bet she'd love nothing more than to have hot sex with you and serve you breakfast and hot soup for lunch to boot!

 

[ML]

Man...why can't this kind of crap happen to me.

It did happen to me . . . read my story back about 3 years ago.

But those are one in a thousand deals.

[dsbean]

I am treating this with a massive red flag now, i'm not cutting her off completely but I'll see how she responds but it seems to have taken a bad turn. I would think scammers would have a better grasp of english and be a bit more gushing and forward but that would get the red lights flashing like mad.

She might be 1 in a 100. But there is a 99% chance she isn't!

More to come, methinks

[Faux Pas]

It did happen to me . . . read my story back about 3 years ago.

But those are one in a thousand deals.

It happened to two on and off posters here. Saltheart and JamesF (I think F) but it is certainly the exception and not the rule. My wife and I traveled to England last year. She still has a Russian citizenship even though a U.S. green card holder getting the British tourist visa was like pulling teeth. More and more RW have extended visas to travel than just a few years ago. It's not unheard of but, it's rare. Like I always say, if you're feeling lucky, go to Vegas

[OlgaH]

Well there is always that one "outside" chance that the woman is sincere and actually already has a British visa but, it is quite remote. I called flat out BS on it. If you had read his description of their emails and the short time they have been communicating it's pretty obvious she's teeing him up to relieve him of some money. You were well traveled IIRC, were you ready to fly to Florida and meet Robert after 2 weeks and at your expense?

Faux Pas, has she already asked him for money? If not, no need to make any assumption. Better to get information and see how the things develop and after make all the conclusions. of course our opinions may differ, and it's fine with me.

If at that time I had my vacation time and the U.S. visa in my passport I would not mind to fly to Florida to meet Robert and have my vacation at the same time at my expense. You also should consider that Europe is much closer.  Most of my girlfriends already have Schengen visa and some of them have UK visa as well and traveled.

[Patagonie]

Propose her to come and see her reaction, if she looses interest in you after this you have your answer.

Men : rather than to follow it is time to lead and to decide : YOU, not her.

[GQBlues]

I am treating this with a massive red flag now, i'm not cutting her off completely but I'll see how she responds but it seems to have taken a bad turn. I would think scammers would have a better grasp of english and be a bit more gushing and forward but that would get the red lights flashing like mad.

She might be 1 in a 100. But there is a 99% chance she isn't!

More to come, methinks

Oh my! Yes!!!

I would bet sexy Olga Durakova is hot, too! Busty, long-legged, blue-eyed beaut she is, I bet...yes, yes, yes!

Some men have all the luck, I tell yah!

...and she's paying for her fare no less?!? You have the inner Batman in you, dsdean, that not too many men have. 

[LAman]

Man...why can't this kind of crap happen to me. Some guys have all the luck, damned! I bet she'd love nothing more than to have hot sex with you and serve you breakfast and hot soup for lunch to boot!

 

Happens to me!!!! Guess I am just a wee bit more sexy than you GQ!!!!
I tell ya....dinner was a full 4 course!!!!  Them wimmen 

[Ooooops]

However, she wants to come and visit me! She wants to take some holiday, jump on a plane to London and see me! I was not prepared for this! Plus, she wants to pay for it herself! I have offered to pay for somewhere for us to stay and I will insist on that but she insists on at least paying for her own travel?!

Well, better her jump on a plane then you jump to conclusions beforehand.      It may be just a sweet talk to keep conversation flowing, it may be that she has means to do so or it may mean that she is a bad girl looking to rob you blind.   Let the story unfold and don't loose your sleep over it prematurely.   

[dsbean]

She still hasn't asked for any cash but she is getting a bit more 'explicit'. I think this is going one way, but it's quite fun! Stringing her along like this.

As I said in my ice breaker, let the madness commence! Although i'm not feeling warm and fuzzy about free sites, she came through FDating, maybe I need to get the wallet out and give Elena a call?

Cheers all, when you are a newbie it is really helpful.

[Gator]

dsbean,
 
If she is a scammer, there could be some history of attempting this with other men.   Another man may have already reported her and posted her  emails. 

Thus, Google excerpts of her emails, something that seems like "cut and paste."  Google is your friend.