The Culture Gap

[Doll]

Again, as for not eating with her husband- it is personal. The reasons? Could be dieting, could be being shy, could be not wanting to do it- go figure.
But it is NOT national.
You just ask her to sit with you, eat what she wants and you two will just talk. She will do it.

[mendeleyev]

Here is just one.
I believe most American couples have a habit or tradition of sitting down to dinner together, eating together, sharing conversation over dinner, etc.
No so in my household any more. Why? She explained that when a woman marries, she can gain 30 lbs. just eating with her  husband once a day. Why? Because a man needs more food, eats fatter foods, and often will make his wife finish what he can't eat, causing her to over eat. So she picks at things all day long, she will sit at the table for a while as I have a meal, and there are times she will share the same meal, but in very small proportions and will leave the table when she is finished, whether I am done or not.

This took some getting used to. Dinner together was something I looked forward to. I understand her thinking, and I respect it. But given a choice I'd prefer the old way....

Sorry, your wife is feeding you a line on this one. My guess is that some work is needed to bring the two of you closer. Please take Doll's suggestion about inviting her to talk, and make sure you aren't the only one doing the talking.

Having eaten in literally hundreds of Ukrainian homes, Belorussian, Russian homes, and more than a handful of times in Uzbek, Moldovan, Bulgarian, Georgian and Kazakh homes, I'm 1000% percent with Doll on this one.

If there would be a constant complaint I field from Ukrainians, Russians and other FSU folk it would be this one: "Why are you Americans so quick to leave a table after dinner?" Then the immediate follow up question is usually: "Don't Americans value time with family and friends?"

That perception, which I hear constantly from Ukrainians and Russians, is tied to the idea that other Europeans share the tradition of sharing meals and staying at the table for long periods afterward in talking, laughing, discussion of ideas, sharing of events, etc, but Americans are too much in a hurry.

Sure there are some differences between Ukrainians and Russians but on the whole, not on this subject.

Were we to parachute an average Westerner behind the borders, pick Ukraine, Belarus or Russia, unless the Westerner had some understanding of the subtle differences between the local use of the Cyrillic alphabet or was familiar with the names of local villages, without asking they wouldn't be able to tell which region of the FSU they had landed.

[Doll]

Frankly, were you to parachute an average Westerner behind the borders, pick Ukraine, Belarus or Russia, unless the Westerner had some understanding of the subtle differences between the local use of the Cyrillic alphabet or were familiar with the names of local villages, without asking they wouldn't be able to tell which part of the FSU they had landed.

They will have NO clue where they are with their "we sure know the difference" )))))))))))
 

[jdatbs77]

Again, as for not eating with her husband- it is personal. The reasons? Could be dieting, could be being shy, could be not wanting to do it- go figure.
But it is NOT national.
You just ask her to sit with you, eat what she wants and you two will just talk. She will do it.

No she won't. But I will go along with the majority view that it isn't a culture/national thing. Maybe she's just too vain....

[OlgaH]

Sure. If in a society a woman without a husband is "rejected" then it is a "male" society or "male chauvinistic".
Same about patriarhat that actually means the same- the power of men.
I don't care if it was "traditionally" set so because traditionally it is the power of men.

Here is a good article about the terrible consequences of "patriarchy".

The silent nightmare of domestic violence in Russia

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21474931

One of the reasons why women victims of domestic violence cannot get out of the situation is also an economic dependence on an abuser. 

Russia still has no law on prevention of domestic violence in Russian legislation and does not recognize the importance of such law.

I am glad it is not THAT bad in the US (slightly better)))

thanks to American women who fought for the laws and continue to support such laws.

[Doll]

Here comes Olga with her thrillers
Actually, we were talking of married vs single women 

[Slumba]

They will have NO clue where they are with their "we sure know the difference" )))))))))))

I was tested on whether I could visually tell the difference between Russian and Ukrainian women, by a woman who was herself Ukrainian.  She showed me photos of different friends of hers - I was accurate in determining who was what nationality 68% of the time.

I have yet to visit the FSU, will visit later this year )))

[OlgaH]

Here comes Olga with her thrillers
Actually, we were talking of married vs single women 

Doll, it doesn't matter it all comes from the same chauvinistic culture.

[Doll]

I was tested on whether I could visually tell the difference between Russian and Ukrainian women, by a woman who was herself Ukrainian.  She showed me photos of different friends of hers - I was accurate in determining who was what nationality 68% of the time.

I have yet to visit the FSU, will visit later this year )))

People's looks are just the smallest part of "culture" or "culture gap".
Besides, people of different nationalities are still mixed in FSU.
I bet you a nickle that you will not tell from some pics who is who.
It doesn't matter- cultures are very close.
That woman who doesn't want to eat with her husband has her own reasons (food stinks)))), she hates somebody watch her eat- anything).

[Misha]

Here is just one.
I believe most American couples have a habit or tradition of sitting down to dinner together, eating together, sharing conversation over dinner, etc.
No so in my household any more. Why? She explained that when a woman marries, she can gain 30 lbs. just eating with her  husband once a day. Why? Because a man needs more food, eats fatter foods, and often will make his wife finish what he can't eat, causing her to over eat. So she picks at things all day long, she will sit at the table for a while as I have a meal, and there are times she will share the same meal, but in very small proportions and will leave the table when she is finished, whether I am done or not.

This took some getting used to. Dinner together was something I looked forward to. I understand her thinking, and I respect it. But given a choice I'd prefer the old way....

This not cultural, but individual. My wife eat our meals together and most Russians I know do the same.

[Slumba]

People's looks are just the smallest part of "culture" or "culture gap".
Besides, people of different nationalities are still mixed in FSU.
I bet you a nickle that you will not tell from some pics who is who.
It doesn't matter- cultures are very close.
That woman who doesn't want to eat with her husband has her own reasons (food stinks)))), she hates somebody watch her eat- anything).

Try me - get together a bunch of pics of people you know are ethnic Russian/Ukrainian /Belorussian - let us see how well I do )))

[southernX]

Eating at home together is a VERY Russian trait. Very!

yes ,russian & ukrainian thing !!!   id agree totally ,it is very usual in our house to sit down together to a meal

luckily we both usually like the same things , so it could be eggs for breakfast , or just toast , sometimes even fruit cake /apple cake with tea /coffee

same for lunch & dinner , we share alove of healthy food usually 
lots of fruit /vegetables , less meat especially red meat ,
almost all our meals are home cooked by either one of us !! as my wife believes very rightly we can produce a better meal at home !
it is usually the time to share our days news /events and chat , however it can be just very quiet with little or no conversation , specially the mornings if my wife is tired or still abit sleepy
she can eat less than me at the table , but will snack during the day also ,
there seems to be some shyness/etiquette for her  around really indulging & eating  a big meal especially if we have guests



SX

[BillyB]

Culture gaps, age gaps,              (Fill in the Blank) gaps. etc.... All one needs to know is when two good people get together, good things happen.

[Doll]

Try me - get together a bunch of pics of people you know are ethnic Russian/Ukrainian /Belorussian - let us see how well I do )))

I won't- don't want to post piсture of real people here, besides, what I mean is the apearance makes the smallest part of "culture".

[Belvis]

Try me - get together a bunch of pics of people you know are ethnic Russian/Ukrainian /Belorussian - let us see how well I do )))

Slumba, don't try to compete with  anthropologists  They see no difference but of course there are local features which are not national but geographical.  You'll fail to spot a local Russian in Ukraine and local Ukranian in Russia.
Besides larger asian mixture in russian faces gives some clue but preliminary selection can remove this factor.

[Faux Pas]

Try me - get together a bunch of pics of people you know are ethnic Russian/Ukrainian /Belorussian - let us see how well I do )))

68%? Maybe you were just a little luckier on that day. You have a 50% chance from the beginning so 68% isn't really impressive. I expect if someone took the time and consideration to fool you, you'd be fooled. IMHO, there are some obvious looks and features and the same looks and features could fool you as well.

[Ade]

68%? Maybe you were just a little luckier on that day. You have a 50% chance from the beginning so 68% isn't really impressive. I expect if someone took the time and consideration to fool you, you'd be fooled. IMHO, there are some obvious looks and features and the same looks and features could fool you as well.

68% is nowhere near statistically significant. Just another case of a weirdo MOB wife hunter thinking he's something he isn't.

[Doll]

Slumba, don't try to compete with  anthropologists  They see no difference but of course there are local features which are not national but geographical.  You'll fail to spot a local Russian in Ukraine and local Ukranian in Russia.
Besides larger asian mixture in russian faces gives some clue but preliminary selection can remove this factor.

Agree. Look at Russians in Archangelsk and Sochi and you'll understand))))))
FSU IS a mixture.

[Ranetka]

Agree. Look at Russians in Archangelsk and Sochi and you'll understand))))))
FSU IS a mixture.

.

[Ranetka]

What a load of BS...I would not say the difference between Russian, Ukrainian and Belorussian unless they have a strong local accent and only reason I think I could recognize it because I have relatives in Belarus but Slumba can? Can you recognize Welsh from English by the looks?  The difference about that big.

[Doll]

Ranetka, this is what we (FSU residents)) are trying to say))))
But the OP is NOT about looks.

[Ranetka]

Ranetka, this is what we (FSU residents)) are trying to say))))
But the OP is NOT about looks.

Oh I missed this bit obviously. Well he is even more wrong then.

[Doll]

Oh I missed this bit obviously. Well he is even more wrong then.

The tops starter believes that there is a "culture gap" between FSU and the US (I agree) but he is talking of his wife's "Ukrainian culture"- she NEVER eats with him. 

[Slumba]

What a load of BS...I would not say the difference between Russian, Ukrainian and Belorussian unless they have a strong local accent and only reason I think I could recognize it because I have relatives in Belarus but Slumba can? Can you recognize Welsh from English by the looks?  The difference about that big.

It is actually quite obvious, at least some of the time. 

There are differences in the naso-labial fold, ratio between width of jaw and of neck (sometimes), what I assume is more of either Tatar or Finn in Russians than in Ukrainian and Belorussian, etc. 

I find both Welsh and English to be ugly, so I haven't been looking at their pics 

[Anotherkiwi]

...I find both Welsh and English to be ugly, so I haven't been looking at their pics 

What an insult to the likes of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Katherine Jenkins (Welsh) and Kate Beckinsale, Gemma Arterton, Rachel Weisz, Jenna-Louise Coleman and Keira Knightley (amongst millions of others!).
 
Slumba, you've obviously been totally asleep for too long!  Even though these ones may be unattainable, I'm sure there would have to be at least ONE female in the British Isles who could get your motor running rather quicker.