K-1 Konfusion!

[lordtiberius]

Agree.

Sounds like you want an escape clause.  If you are uncertain, then you have to follow anotherkiwi's rather sensible advice which is to get on a plane.  If I am wrong, tell me where and why.

Blues is right.  The K1 is not supposed to be a test drive.  Such abuse bodes badly on those who have traveled and will travel. 

[Anotherkiwi]

I wish I knew why I keep reading that it's a month that is the right amount of time to get to know someone.

It's not that a month is the "right" amount of time, it's just that most men only travel for a week or two, and often seem to jump into the fiancee/marriage pond without really thinking things through.  On my first visit to Russia, I spent a week with the woman I went to see (in separate apartments, I might add).  We knew within a couple of minutes of meeting at the airport that this was not going to be a match made in heaven, despite how well we had got on in correspondence and the occasional phone call.  However, she was a really nice person, as were her mother and daughter, and I had a great time with them over that short period.
 
My second expedition looked more promising - the lady had much better English (6 or 6.5 out of 10), and I had planned to have up to 6 weeks with her, travelling around Russia and Ukraine (she had her own business, and had a very competent manager to look after it while she was away).  However, the cracks started to show after a few days, and by the end of a week it was obvious that this relationship was doomed as well.  We said goodbye, she went back home, and I just carried on as a tourist for most of the rest of the trip.
 

Hell, I was married to my ex for 3 years before her act wore off and her true colors came out! She deserves an Oscar for that performance!  But seriously, in the 9 days I was with her neither she nor her daughter were acting, and that's why I feel hopeful about this whole thing.  When I was with her those 9 days she definitely wasn't putting on an act faking things that weren't there, it was like I was on a date with someone here.  I read so many accounts on this site of people that within an hour of meeting are off in a hotel room having sex, yeah like that is natural.  But over those 9 days we definitely grew closer and after meeting her family (who were really nice and not typical Russians) I really felt like she is someone that I could spend the rest of my life with.

That's seriously good news, although I'm not sure what you would mean by "typical Russians!"  And yes, I WAS aware that you had spent already some time with her.
 

And I can say that I didn't see just the good side either, her daughter is only 3 so she can't exactly put on an act.  She had her moments, luckily I've already dealt with that kind of stuff with my son so it's not like I haven't been there before.  And the good thing about her misbehavior is I got to see how Alina dealt with it, and for the most part I agreed with how she handled the situation. 
Oh, and she did take off 7 of the 9 days I was there, but she did work the other 2.  I visited her at work the one day, she seemed to be really dedicated to her job!  She works 12 hour days and it takes over an hour each way to get there so she doesn't do anything in between except sleep.  It's a 2 day on, 2 day off schedule.  On her days off she takes her daughter to the park and cooks, cleans, etc... 
I know she won't be working when she comes here, I don't think it would be a great idea for her to work until her daughter goes to school, which is at least a year away.  In the meantime if she wants to do something to earn her own keep I suppose she could babysit, I live in a nice development where people pay insane amounts for sitters

That all sounds great, but it's still only nine days that you've spent together.  For most people, wherever they are, that's not enough.  You may be different - of course I don't know you.  No matter how good your intentions, using the three months of a K-1 as a "probationary period" seems fraught with danger.  Also, as pointed out by calmissile, by using a K-1 it could be another year or more before she actually enters the USA.  My advice still stands - go and see her, and spend more time really getting to know her.  Heck, I'm still finding out things about my own family!  As for the travelling - do you have anyone that you would be happy to leave your son with?  Grandparents (either set), really good friends, parents of his really good friends at school?
 
Whatever course you choose, and whether or not you take the slightest bit of notice of anything that is posted on here, I meant what I wrote in that previous post - good luck.

[jmana]

It's not that a month is the "right" amount of time, it's just that most men only travel for a week or two, and often seem to jump into the fiancee/marriage pond without really thinking things through.  On my first visit to Russia, I spent a week with the woman I went to see (in separate apartments, I might add).  We knew within a couple of minutes of meeting at the airport that this was not going to be a match made in heaven, despite how well we had got on in correspondence and the occasional phone call.  However, she was a really nice person, as were her mother and daughter, and I had a great time with them over that short period.
 
My second expedition looked more promising - the lady had much better English (6 or 6.5 out of 10), and I had planned to have up to 6 weeks with her, travelling around Russia and Ukraine (she had her own business, and had a very competent manager to look after it while she was away).  However, the cracks started to show after a few days, and by the end of a week it was obvious that this relationship was doomed as well.  We said goodbye, she went back home, and I just carried on as a tourist for most of the rest of the trip.
 
That's seriously good news, although I'm not sure what you would mean by "typical Russians!"  And yes, I WAS aware that you had spent already some time with her.
 
That all sounds great, but it's still only nine days that you've spent together.  For most people, wherever they are, that's not enough.  You may be different - of course I don't know you.  No matter how good your intentions, using the three months of a K-1 as a "probationary period" seems fraught with danger.  Also, as pointed out by calmissile, by using a K-1 it could be another year or more before she actually enters the USA.  My advice still stands - go and see her, and spend more time really getting to know her.  Heck, I'm still finding out things about my own family!  As for the travelling - do you have anyone that you would be happy to leave your son with?  Grandparents (either set), really good friends, parents of his really good friends at school?
 
Whatever course you choose, and whether or not you take the slightest bit of notice of anything that is posted on here, I meant what I wrote in that previous post - good luck.

What I meant by typical Russians was that most Russians have a very hard shell that takes a long time (and sometimes a lot of alcohol) to crack.  Her family wasn't like that, of course most of them were rather young so maybe it's a generational thing? 
And regarding spending time with someone to get to know them, it doesn't matter if I spend a week, month, or year with her, it still doesn't prove anything.  Like I said before, I thought my ex wife and I were made for each other for 3 years!  Then one day it just all changed and fell apart.  Mostly it was that she changed and it all fell apart, but I don't blame her for anything, just making the point that you can know someone like the back of your hand, but if they lose the desire to be with you that time was for naught anyway.  So really in my opinion the most important thing in a relationship is a shared desire to make it work, and of course basic compatibility, both of which I have with Alina.
I really hate to make it seem like I'm using the K1 as a "probationary period".   I plan to purchase one way tickets, I originally thought to buy 2 way since it's not that much more, but then I was thinking that is really a defeatist way of looking at it even if I never plan to use the return flights.  I fully intend to put everything into this and marry her, I don't have a plan B.  But I guess it's just that there is that possibility that it doesn't work out and she goes back home, I am fully aware and prepared for that.  But at least I will know I tried.  That's the way it is with any relationship, right?

[jmana]

Because of morons like you.
 
You keep saying you're going to take this woman for 'test drive' to find out if she's someone you'd actually like to marry, if not she's off to grace in wherever pasture is left for her to do so.
 
You keep making stupid excuses why YOU can't get your butt on the plane and spend time with her BEFORE making plans and filing a visa you know yourself you're not completely convince you wanna do.
 
Is it money? Well, in case YOU didn't know, it'll cost you an additional (at least) another 3-4 grand in 90 days after she arrives just to adjust her and her child's status. That's in addition to the thousand of dollars you would've already spent just getting them here and footing the related expense for that 90 days PLUS whatever else traveling needs that comes to play. No, they don't accept used phones credits as payment for tickets.
 
Further, in case you didn't know you likely stand to *negotiate* with the child's dear ol' dad (if he's still alive) just to get him to sign on the dotted line. These are expenses that are just the tip of the iceberg.
 
The worst part of all these is the fact you're going to uproot not only the woman's life but also her child over something you admitted you're not even sure of. To even imply you haven't perjure yourself is being a *dick* because you know full well if she doesn't make the grade - she's on her way back to Russia. Think beyond YOURSELF dickhead.

I love how you put words in my mouth.   When have I ever said I wanted to take her out on a "test drive"?!  And it's also funny to me how you keep bringing up the fact that I bought her a used phone, despite the fact that I pointed out the fact that she only needed one for a couple of months to use until she comes here, so why would I spend a couple hundred on a phone that she won't be able to use here? 
Oh, and where exactly do you come up with the figure of $3-$4,000 for the AOS?!  You just pull those numbers out of your ass?  Keep in mind I've been down this road before, I was married to a Ukrainian girl for 6 years, I know what the costs are (granted they doubled since then, but still aren't what you are quoting).  Or are you too lazy to fill the forms out yourself and have to hire a lawyer? 
And for your info, no I don't have to negotiate with her child's father.  He isn't even listed on her birth certificate.  The guy was a jerk, had planned to marry her, but as soon as he found out she was pregnant he skipped town.  To her credit she went through with the pregnancy and has done a great job raising her daughter by herself. 
And please tell me how I am "uprooting" her life?  You make it seem like she has no say in any of this.  She is an adult, she is making the decision as much as I am to come here.  She initially wanted me to move there, as in find a job and live there.  I actually entertained the idea for all of 2 minutes, I mean I love her city, but I have a house, a son in school, good job, etc..  She agreed it would be easier for her to adapt to living here, even though she told me before meeting me she had zero desire to move from her city.  So to make a long story short, she is making this decision on her own, I made my case of why it would be easier for her to come here, but I didn't try to talk her into it.  Besides, her father lives here so it will give her a chance to spend more time with him. 
Anyway, I don't know why I'm trying to justify anything to you, because you'll just turn around and twist my words against me because you apparently don't have anything better to do.  So have at it.

[lonedrake]

jmana

 Your and Alinas attitude and opinions are what count the most. IMO since you have met for nine days....skype is a very powerful tool to get to know a person. It is hard to fake on skype day in and day out.

 As long as you intend to get married you are not committing fraud. Having her come over and getting married no matter how bad things get is much worse. There is no penalty or fine or jail time if you do not get married...she must just go back.

 Of coarse...you should do as much as possible to make sure it will work out before she comes over. IMO you should still go over there again. You can take your child out of school for a week and it would be good to get all 4 of you together for a week. It does sound a little bit like you are making excuses not to go. Instead find a way to go...even if it is a shorter trip.

[jmana]

jmana

 Your and Alinas attitude and opinions are what count the most. IMO since you have met for nine days....skype is a very powerful tool to get to know a person. It is hard to fake on skype day in and day out.

 As long as you intend to get married you are not committing fraud. Having her come over and getting married no matter how bad things get is much worse. There is no penalty or fine or jail time if you do not get married...she must just go back.

 Of coarse...you should do as much as possible to make sure it will work out before she comes over. IMO you should still go over there again. You can take your child out of school for a week and it would be good to get all 4 of you together for a week. It does sound a little bit like you are making excuses not to go. Instead find a way to go...even if it is a shorter trip.

Well, depending on when the interview is I may go over then because I feel like it might be a bit much for her to deal with alone.  But I'm not joking when I say my closest relative is 9 hours away.  And the last time I let someone watch my son for a week when I had a class out of state(a friend from church watched him) it didn't go so well.  But he tracks out in December and if the interview can be scheduled then I could at least be there for that.

[lordtiberius]

I read your responses and you refuse to get on a plane to get to know her and given your last marriage that you clearly aren't over.  You should break your engagement and give up.  You are not hubby material.

[GQBlues]

I love how you put words in my mouth.   When have I ever said I wanted to take her out on a "test drive"?!...

What in the world do you think it means when someone says (paraphrased) *there's no way to find out if anyone is compatible with you unless and until she comes here and lives with you to try and find out if you're compatible.*  You already proudly stated before you've done just that with a woman from Moscow before, dickwad.

 

... And it's also funny to me how you keep bringing up the fact that I bought her a used phone, despite the fact that I pointed out the fact that she only needed one for a couple of months to use until she comes here, so why would I spend a couple hundred on a phone that she won't be able to use here? ..

Because you're a cheap bastid...why do I think that? Well, because you also said...

Now if you really want to meet a Russian girl on the cheap, have her come to you! I actually had a girl from Moscow come visit me for a few weeks several years ago (she paid for everything), but by the time those few weeks were up I was ready to have her return home She was really nice, she'd give me massages every night and seemed like she would make a "good wife", but there was just something about her that was off putting. I still feel bad to this day about it. She had planned a second trip to come see me and I had to flat out tell her no. Supposedly she's married and has a kid now and still living in Moscow, so it's all good. When I was in St. Pete she wrote to me and asked how long I was going to be at the Moscow airport and I was tempted to try and meet up with her, but like I said I still feel a little guilt about it because I know she really liked me and wanted much more than I did.

...Oh, and where exactly do you come up with the figure of $3-$4,000 for the AOS?!  You just pull those numbers out of your ass?  Keep in mind I've been down this road before, I was married to a Ukrainian girl for 6 years, I know what the costs are (granted they doubled since then, but still aren't what you are quoting)...

You're a piece of work, man.  Well let's see...

1-485: A doozy $985.00 (for her only), $85 bucks for biometrics, and a whopping $360.00 BIG ones for AP. The latter one is technically an option. ( Considering 30-40 bucks is a HUGE deal with you, 2 R/T tix plus traveling expense is definitely out of the question I, presume. I mean you do want to snag an RW on the cheap, right?)

So far, that's $ 1,485.00, multiply with however many kids she has. We already know she at least have one, so easily 2x, which means $2,860.00. DANG! You're absolutely right. It's almost 3 grand but not quite. Although almost dead is still alive, no? LOL.

btw - The check needs to be made payable to : Department of Homeland Security. No rain checks please our government need the revenue these days. No i.o.u.s

...And for your info, no I don't have to negotiate with her child's father.  He isn't even listed on her birth certificate.  The guy was a jerk, had planned to marry her, but as soon as he found out she was pregnant he skipped town.  To her credit she went through with the pregnancy and has done a great job raising her daughter by herself....

LOL. What if this woman didn't meet your grades? You think THAT guy was a jerk, what do you think that'll make you in her eyes considering you already bomp a woman from Moscow before and spat her out once you were done with her. Better make sure, at 3 years old, you get a certified clearance that the child is cleared of any parental rights other than the mom.  If not, then a few hundred bucks will easily mean a few tons of crushed aluminum cans, bro.
 

...And please tell me how I am "uprooting" her life?  You make it seem like she has no say in any of this.  She is an adult, she is making the decision as much as I am to come here.  She initially wanted me to move there, as in find a job and live there.  I actually entertained the idea for all of 2 minutes, I mean I love her city, but I have a house, a son in school, good job, etc..  She agreed it would be easier for her to adapt to living here, even though she told me before meeting me she had zero desire to move from her city.  So to make a long story short, she is making this decision on her own, I made my case of why it would be easier for her to come here, but I didn't try to talk her into it.  Besides, her father lives here so it will give her a chance to spend more time with him. Anyway, I don't know why I'm trying to justify anything to you, because you'll just turn around and twist my words against me because you apparently don't have anything better to do.  So have at it.

OK  I will...
 
For starters, and in the event you still didn't know this despite the fact you've done this before - IF the K-1 was not fulfilled, the woman need to get her butt back to Russia. No ifs and buts about that dandy.

 
You can try to moonwalk yourself backwards with your story but at least make sure your old threads are deep in the archives. Because when they aren't, they're pretty easy to find and show you're full of BS. How? Well, here's a good example.
 
You said:
 

....And really I would prefer to do a tourist visa for her to come here so we could have more time to really figure this relationship out, but from everything I've read it's nearly impossible for someone with no assets to get one....

But before you said this:

....Sorry, I don't always pick the best words, LOL!  Yeah, she is aware of the fact that until we are together for a decent period of time we really won't know if we are completely compatible.  She's not one of these Russian girls who's pretending to be head over heels in love just to get over here, she doesn't need to, remember her dad lives here and she could have come here anytime she wanted....

...and you're not even consistent with many of your statements. For example...
 

Well, I think it's a little callous to think all similar situations are the same, and that all Russian women (or American men) are the same. I have already been married to an FSU woman, a Ukrainian, but I was way too young to make any marriage work at the time, no matter where she was from.  I've learned a lot since then, and right now I am looking for a partner for life, I'm not going at this because I think this girl is "hot" or will put out, or anything like that.  In fact that's not even on my list of things I was looking for in a woman, *what I want is someone I can trust* (LOL), someone who I feel will always be there for me and who will appreciate what I have to offer.  And I feel Alina is that person.  I tried hard to find someone like that here, and got burned over and over, so I thought I'd expand my horizons once again and that's when I met her.  Granted I really don't know her, but I don't agree that I'd get to know her much better by making multiple trips to her home country.  I feel that the only way to really get to see what she will be like when she is here, is for her to actually come here.  I realize that's not a popular thought here, but several years ago I had met a woman from Moscow and it was the same thing, while she was over there it was fine, but when she came here we both knew after a month it wasn't going to work out and so she went back home.  We are still friends and talk occasionally, but even she knew she was different when she came to the states.  I am hoping that's not the case this time, but if it is at least I tried!

Considering the fact you're the one who wrote this, I'll let you twist your own words yourself. Read what you wrote in that paragraph and ask yourself where the inconsistencies are. I'll even help a bruddah out and highlight, italize, bold sentences for you to *see* why I know you talk out of your arse.

You keep saying you've done this before but yet too damned confused to sparse through and understand simple immigration procedures based on you're original topic question.

...It would be nice if this were a forum where people could openly talk about things without being attacked for being honest, but no such luck I guess.  I'd love to know how I am committing perjury?  Are you honestly saying that EVERYONE who gets engaged is madly in love with each other and knows everything about the other person??  Hell I've known friends of mine who got married to women here they barely knew, certainly not for 11 months!  And they are still together except one of them.  I've done everything required by law to obtain a K-1 visa, so I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your mouth shut from now on.  I've not lied once on any form I've sent to the government, and they approved everything so far with no questions asked, so obviously they are fine with whatever level of relationship I have with her. ...

Dickhead, go read what the K-1 visa is about. If you don't understand, which won't be surprising, then I suggest you consult with your superior to see if what you plan on doing (based on all the things you've posted in this board so far) is lawful.

....I really hate to make it seem like I'm using the K1 as a "probationary period"....

BS! But it's OK. Big Brother's blues have their eyes on you by now... Those PMs you got telling to backoff with that statement won't help. They're just moronic accessories.

For someone who works for the State you sure are the dumbest one I've seen or heard about. I bet you work for the DMV, don't you?

You have an obligation to your State's taxpayers to be the symbol of forthright and not some cheap, lying, bullsh!tting opportunistic douchebag who aspires to 'get his RW on the cheap'.

But, I'll be really nice and wish you actually get what you wish for.

[jmana]

I read your responses and you refuse to get on a plane to get to know her and given your last marriage that you clearly aren't over.  You should break your engagement and give up.  You are not hubby material.

What is wrong with you people??  Not over my last marriage?!  It's been 6 years, I think I'm over it!  Keep your opinions (because they are wrong) to yourself

[jmana]

What in the world do you think it means when someone says (paraphrased) *there's no way to find out if anyone is compatible with you unless and until she comes here and lives with you to try and find out if you're compatible.*  You already proudly stated before you've done just that with a woman from Moscow before, dickwad.

 

Because you're a cheap bastid...why do I think that? Well, because you also said...
 
You're a piece of work, man.  Well let's see...

1-485: A doozy $985.00 (for her only), $85 bucks for biometrics, and a whopping $360.00 BIG ones for AP. The latter one is technically an option. ( Considering 30-40 bucks is a HUGE deal with you, 2 R/T tix plus traveling expense is definitely out of the question I, presume. I mean you do want to snag an RW on the cheap, right?)

So far, that's $ 1,485.00, multiply with however many kids she has. We already know she at least have one, so easily 2x, which means $2,860.00. DANG! You're absolutely right. It's almost 3 grand but not quite. Although almost dead is still alive, no? LOL.

btw - The check needs to be made payable to : Department of Homeland Security. No rain checks please our government need the revenue these days. No i.o.u.s

LOL. What if this woman didn't meet your grades? You think THAT guy was a jerk, what do you think that'll make you in her eyes considering you already bomp a woman from Moscow before and spat her out once you were done with her. Better make sure, at 3 years old, you get a certified clearance that the child is cleared of any parental rights other than the mom.  If not, then a few hundred bucks will easily mean a few tons of crushed aluminum cans, bro.
 

OK  I will...
 
For starters, and in the event you still didn't know this despite the fact you've done this before - IF the K-1 was not fulfilled, the woman need to get her butt back to Russia. No ifs and buts about that dandy.

 
You can try to moonwalk yourself backwards with your story but at least make sure your old threads are deep in the archives. Because when they aren't, they're pretty easy to find and show you're full of BS. How? Well, here's a good example.
 
You said:
 
But before you said this:

...and you're not even consistent with many of your statements. For example...
 
Considering the fact you're the one who wrote this, I'll let you twist your own words yourself. Read what you wrote in that paragraph and ask yourself where the inconsistencies are. I'll even help a bruddah out and highlight, italize, bold sentences for you to *see* why I know you talk out of your arse.

You keep saying you've done this before but yet too damned confused to sparse through and understand simple immigration procedures based on you're original topic question.
 
Dickhead, go read what the K-1 visa is about. If you don't understand, which won't be surprising, then I suggest you consult with your superior to see if what you plan on doing (based on all the things you've posted in this board so far) is lawful.

BS! But it's OK. Big Brother's blues have their eyes on you by now... Those PMs you got telling to backoff with that statement won't help. They're just moronic accessories.

For someone who works for the State you sure are the dumbest one I've seen or heard about. I bet you work for the DMV, don't you?

You have an obligation to your State's taxpayers to be the symbol of forthright and not some cheap, lying, bullsh!tting opportunistic douchebag who aspires to 'get his RW on the cheap'.

But, I'll be really nice and wish you actually get what you wish for.

I really don't get you.  I decided to look at your profile since you are so stalkerish about mine.  You've been on here since 2005.  Your first post you complain how nobody finds you more attractive than a rock and you ask the question whether a Russian girl would find you more attractive than a rock (not sure why a Russian's eyes would be any different than an Americans?).  That was June 20th, 2005.  June 21st, 2005 you talk about some Russian girl that you are getting married to.  Wow, and you have the nerve to say ANYTHING about me?!  I don't know what your deal is, but someone who's been here since 2005, and make nearly 5,000 posts (I only read the first 5 so I don't know your whole story), and states you've never even made a trip over there, but is talking crap to people like me, well I just don't get it.  Are you just bitter? Is that what it is?  Anyway, whatever it is I don't care, just stop replying to my posts unless you have something constructive to say.  Oh, and you are wrong about the AOS fee.  Children are about half the cost, I don't remember the exact fee, but total for both of them will be something like $1,700, NOT $3 -$4,0000. 

[Turboguy]

Sometimes people do get a little direct on here.  There are probably other words that could be used other than "direct".   The cold hard reality of it is that they are trying to help however and the advice they are giving is good.  You are not the only person to ever use a K-1 to decide if you want to marry.  Lots and lots of people have done the same.  The advice you are getting is correct that those who use a K-1 to get to know each other have a high failure rate.  One potential problem with using a K-1 as a means to get to know each other is IMBRA.  If it doesn't work you have used up one of your two lifetime allowances of K-1's but of course there are wavers. Still a K-1 is intended for two people who have already decided they want to marry.


If I understand where you are at in the K-1 process your application is now in Moscow.  You are so close to finishing the process now that it probably doesn't make sense to try to visit.  In my case with my first fiancee we started the K-1 process after 5 days together but I did make 3 or 4 more trips to visit her while the K-1 was being processed and with my wife it was probably 9 days of face to face time when I popped the question but we did spend 3 months together or more while the K-1 was in the works. 


 With each of you having children there is a plus to having a complete family for them but children can actually make a marriage more risky and when you throw in the differences in culture it increases the risk.   I wish you luck and hope it works out for you.[size=78%] [/size]

[jmana]

Sometimes people do get a little direct on here.  There are probably other words that could be used other than "direct".   The cold hard reality of it is that they are trying to help however and the advice they are giving is good.  You are not the only person to ever use a K-1 to decide if you want to marry.  Lots and lots of people have done the same.  The advice you are getting is correct that those who use a K-1 to get to know each other have a high failure rate.  One potential problem with using a K-1 as a means to get to know each other is IMBRA.  If it doesn't work you have used up one of your two lifetime allowances of K-1's but of course there are wavers. Still a K-1 is intended for two people who have already decided they want to marry.


If I understand where you are at in the K-1 process your application is now in Moscow.  You are so close to finishing the process now that it probably doesn't make sense to try to visit.  In my case with my first fiancee we started the K-1 process after 5 days together but I did make 3 or 4 more trips to visit her while the K-1 was being processed and with my wife it was probably 9 days of face to face time when I popped the question but we did spend 3 months together or more while the K-1 was in the works. 


 With each of you having children there is a plus to having a complete family for them but children can actually make a marriage more risky and when you throw in the differences in culture it increases the risk.   I wish you luck and hope it works out for you.

The thing is I never said I am using the K1 to decide "if I want to marry" her, I already know I want to, that is not in question.  I guess where all this came from is I stated "I'd never really feel like I know her 100% until she comes here and spends a couple months getting to really know me and what it's really like to live here" and this GQBlues dude took that and blew it completely out of proportion.  I suppose someone who posts 5,000 times over 8 years and is still alone doesn't have anything better to do in his life than to pick apart people's posts and try to discourage them, because obviously he's had some major discouragement in his life

[Faux Pas]

Anyway, whatever it is I don't care, just stop replying to my posts unless you have something constructive to say. Oh, and you are wrong about the AOS fee.  Children are about half the cost, I don't remember the exact fee, but total for both of them will be something like $1,700, NOT $3 -$4,0000.

That's not your call. When you open a thread the rules remain the same. You do not have any ownership of the thread nor do you dictate the rules. You've just opened another stream of dialogue that adhere to the same set of RWD's TOS. Criticism, constructive or not are well within those parameters of the TOS.

If you are going to post anything, be prepared for someone to challenge it. It's the internet. That's just the way it is. If there is some solid foundation in your logic, you shouldn't have any problem defending it

[GQBlues]

The thing is I never said I am using the K1 to decide "if I want to marry" her, I already know I want to, that is not in question.  I guess where all this came from is I stated "I'd never really feel like I know her 100% until she comes here and spends a couple months getting to really know me and what it's really like to live here" and this GQBlues dude took that and blew it completely out of proportion....

LOL. You are dense, aren't you? Even not too long ago I quoted what you said.
 
":...I really hate to make it seem like I'm using the K1 as a "probationary period"...."
 
You can deny it, but it doesn't make it untrue that is exactly what you have in mind. You have been harboring the thought, and had been busy trying to justify it. So, sorry dick, you can't weasel out of it.
 
Then you take offense when I call you cheap, despite saying....
 
"...Now if you really want to meet a Russian girl on the cheap, have her come to you..."
 
Then you claim you know what you're doing since you've done this before, yet your opening post on this thread render you *clueless*
 
You complained a bouquet of flowers delivered in FSU is over 100 bucks and you deem it's ridiculously expensive so you go and send the inamorata ONE (1) flower because it only *cost * you 40-50 bucks.
 
Do you even see the stupidity in that logic?
 
Granted, you're only smart enough to work at the DMV, but man, you sure are clusterfcok.
 

... I suppose someone who posts 5,000 times over 8 years and is still alone doesn't have anything better to do in his life than to pick apart people's posts and try to discourage them, because obviously he's had some major discouragement in his life.

Like the 'alleged' K-1 you filed, despite supposedly having done this before, you have no clue. You better hope that the beneficiary is a tad smarter than you when she faces the interviewer or your case is bust.
 
As for the I-485, the age bracket of concern for you is between 14-79.
 
Did you skip line 35? You better not.

[jmana]

LOL. You are dense, aren't you? Even not too long ago I quoted what you said.
 
":...I really hate to make it seem like I'm using the K1 as a "probationary period"...."
 
You can deny it, but it doesn't make it untrue that is exactly what you have in mind. You have been harboring the thought, and had been busy trying to justify it. So, sorry dick, you can't weasel out of it.
 
Then you take offense when I call you cheap, despite saying....
 
"...Now if you really want to meet a Russian girl on the cheap, have her come to you..."
 
Then you claim you know what you're doing since you've done this before, yet your opening post on this thread render you *clueless*
 
You complained a bouquet of flowers delivered in FSU is over 100 bucks and you deem it's ridiculously expensive so you go and send the inamorata ONE (1) flower because it only *cost * you 40-50 bucks.
 
Do you even see the stupidity in that logic?
 
Granted, you're only smart enough to work at the DMV, but man, you sure are clusterfcok.
 
Like the 'alleged' K-1 you filed, despite supposedly having done this before, you have no clue. You better hope that the beneficiary is a tad smarter than you when she faces the interviewer or your case is bust.
 
As for the I-485, the age bracket of concern for you is between 14-79.
 
Did you skip line 35? You better not.

I don't know why I even bother responding to your childish stupidity.  Anyway, for one I don't work at the DMV, and no I'm not telling you where I work at because obviously you are not stable and seem like a stalker (maybe that's part of the reason women find you no more attractive than a rock).
And yeah, I DO hate to make it seem like I'm using the K1 as a probationary period, BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M DOING you idiot!!  Jeesh, get it through your thick head, I fully intend to marry her, what part of that don't you understand??
And yes, I responded to a post earlier about costs to go meet a Russian woman, and people were throwing out numbers (if I recall correctly) that approached triple digits, and I simply made the point that I met one and it didn't cost me anything, and it was pretty awesome by the way!  Not all Russian girls are desperate and broke, some have great jobs and actually find me very much more attractive than a rock, so much so that one of them was willing to spend her hard earned money to get a visa, and travel here on her own dime.  And she wanted to do it a second time but I stopped her because I knew it wasn't going anywhere and I felt she shouldn't waste her time on me. 
Oh, and yes I am clueless on this new process of scheduling things online, especially when there is conflicting info coming from the DOS.  Keep in mind I went through this 12 years ago, and even though the basic process is the same, many things have changed.  Hell just a couple weeks ago they switched over to the DS-160 form, yet I was never informed of this.  And despite asking the question in my first post, I never did get a good answer for it, all I've gotten so far is attacks from your likes.  Seems to be a common theme on this forum.  I love how on the "Ask a russian woman" forum people like you actually answer the questions.  Hmmmm, didn't know you were a Russian woman.  I guess you are just a narcissistic know it all who can't help but throw his 2 cents into every conversation.

[GQBlues]

If you can't be consistent in your stupid posts, best be prepared to get checked.


You've defended the justification of the 90-day period as a probationary period in more than one occasion and I don't need to fish out your silly posts to prove you're clueless even in what you say.


Additionally, you told us the woman can come here anytime she wants because her father lives here, then next minute you tell us you had to file K-Visa despite wanting to have her come on a tourist visa ( so she can come to you because you're a cheap bastid - LOL), so you can take her for a test drive and see if this/she is something you want to be with; but you just didn't think she'll get the tourist visa.


Have you even checked the premiums for Obamacare, LOL? You're a cheap bastid with one child, and now you're adding a woman who also have a child. Dude, you think 100 bucks for a bouquet of flowers is expensive and a robbery? Wait until you find out what your premiums are going to be. You don't live at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and you're not entitled to a gold plated coverage. You're stuck in the value bronze plan.

Maybe someday you can tell us all 'how cheap' it really was you bargained for.

Lastly, dickhead, sometimes you need to be smarter than a *rock*. Otherwise, you're toast. 

[jmana]

If you can't be consistent in your stupid posts, best be prepared to get checked.


You've defended the justification of the 90-day period as a probationary period in more than one occasion and I don't need to fish out your silly posts to prove you're clueless even in what you say.


Additionally, you told us the woman can come here anytime she wants because her father lives here, then next minute you tell us you had to file K-Visa despite wanting to have her come on a tourist visa ( so she can come to you because you're a cheap bastid - LOL), so you can take her for a test drive and see if this/she is something you want to be with; but you just didn't think she'll get the tourist visa.


Have you even checked the premiums for Obamacare, LOL? You're a cheap bastid with one child, and now you're adding a woman who also have a child. Dude, you think 100 bucks for a bouquet of flowers is expensive and a robbery? Wait until you find out what your premiums are going to be. You don't live at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and you're not entitled to a gold plated coverage. You're stuck in the value bronze plan.

Maybe someday you can tell us all 'how cheap' it really was you bargained for.

Here we go again
Yes, she COULD have come here any time she wanted, the point I was making is up till now she never wanted to come here.  Hell her dad really doesn't want to be in this country, but he's making a small fortune working for Amazon so I guess that's why he stays.  The point is she is coming here because of me, because I chose not to move there, and so she is coming here.  Are you getting it through that thick head of yours yet??  And yes, a tourist visa would be awesome so she could see if she could tolerate living in the US, because we could be madly in love and if she hates it here, what kind of life would that be?  But she'd never get approved for a tourist visa, it has nothing to do with cost or me being "cheap". 
And what does Obamacare have to do with anything?  people are so scared of it, well premiums aren't going up that much.  Heck mine aren't going up at all, in fact mine are going down at the beginning of the year.  And once I add her and her kid it's only going to up my cost by a couple hundred a month.  And I can afford that because I'm not a stupid idiot going out and wasting $100 on flowers, bwahahahaa!!!!!

[lordtiberius]

Why buy a ring if you don't love her?

[GQBlues]

Here we go again ...

Yup, you can say that again...

Here's another one of your stupid, abstract thinking...


"...Yes, she COULD have come here any time she wanted.....But she'd never get approved for a tourist visa, it has nothing to do with cost or me being "cheap"....." 

She could come here anytime she wants despite she can never be approved for a tourist visa. So technically, she really CANNOT come here anytime she wanted, no?


"...the point I was making is up till now she never wanted to come here.  Hell her dad really doesn't want to be in this country, but he's making a small fortune working for Amazon so I guess that's why he stays.  The point is she is coming here because of me, because I chose not to move there, and so she is coming here.  Are you getting it through that thick head of yours yet?? And yes, a tourist visa would be awesome so she could see if she could tolerate living in the US, because we could be madly in love and if she hates it here, what kind of life would that be?..."


So you are using the K-visa for something else OTHER than what it is intended for. Are you really this stupid?


-btw: I bet her Dad makes more than your cheap butt, yes? LOL. Doesn't that just sux, man? If you were born here, that would even sux to higher heavens, man. Go see maybe her Dad can put in a word or two at Amazon. Maybe then you can afford a full bouquet of flowers.

....And what does Obamacare have to do with anything?  people are so scared of it, well premiums aren't going up that much.  Heck mine aren't going up at all, in fact mine are going down at the beginning of the year.  And once I add her and her kid it's only going to up my cost by a couple hundred a month.  And I can afford that because I'm not a stupid idiot going out and wasting $100 on flowers, bwahahahaa!!!!!

Really you have? You can't even figure out a simple immigration process and now you're telling us you were able to navigate a crashed site? You really are a lying scumbucket.

[jmana]

Yup, you can say that again...

Here's another one of your stupid, abstract thinking...


"...Yes, she COULD have come here any time she wanted.....But she'd never get approved for a tourist visa, it has nothing to do with cost or me being "cheap"....." 

She could come here anytime she wants despite she can never be approved for a tourist visa. So technically, she really CANNOT come here anytime she wanted, no?


"...the point I was making is up till now she never wanted to come here.  Hell her dad really doesn't want to be in this country, but he's making a small fortune working for Amazon so I guess that's why he stays.  The point is she is coming here because of me, because I chose not to move there, and so she is coming here.  Are you getting it through that thick head of yours yet?? And yes, a tourist visa would be awesome so she could see if she could tolerate living in the US, because we could be madly in love and if she hates it here, what kind of life would that be?..."


So you are using the K-visa for something else OTHER than what it is intended for. Are you really this stupid?


-btw: I bet her Dad makes more than your cheap butt, yes? LOL. Doesn't that just sux, man? If you were born here, that would even sux to higher heavens, man. Go see maybe her Dad can put in a word or two at Amazon. Maybe then you can afford a full bouquet of flowers.



Really you have? You can't even figure out a simple immigration process and now you're telling us you were able to navigate a crashed site? You really are a lying scumbucket.

Perhaps I'm mistaken, but if she wanted to come live here bad enough, not VISIT, her dad could have gotten her over here on some kind of family visa.  A tourist visa, submitted just to come visit, in my opinion would never be approved. 
And NOOOOO I am not using the K1 for something it's not intended for!!!  Get it through your head!  Why am I even arguing with you, you are obviously an idiot.  But one last time, what I was saying is it does happen that people come here, get married, and decide they hate the US.  Has nothing to do with K1, K3, Kanything!!  Just a fact of life. 
And I don't have to go to a crashed website, I've got insurance through my employer, duh! 

[lordtiberius]

Me update:  I called the DOS number and got connected muy rapido.  The  polite attendant told me that they hadn't received my info yet and suggested that it is taking 8 weeks historically to transfer.

I also got this email:

Dear Sir/Madam:
 
Thank you for your inquiry. The National Visa Center has not received your petition from U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS). Please scan and email your I-797 or I-171 Notice of Action to nvcresearch@state.gov. Type the receipt number in the subject line of your email. We will contact USCIS on your behalf to find your petition.
 
If your I-797 or I-171 Notice of Action does not indicate USCIS approved your petition and sent it to the Department of State, please contact USCIS for a status update.
 
USCIS Contact Information
Telephone: 1-800-375-5283
Website: www.uscis.gov
 
 
Case Number:

My Betsy is learning how to drive a car.  Starting to get the jitters a bit on my end, 'Am I good enough' self dialogues - always fun.  Hope this helps the reader.

Thank you mods for cleaning up my mess.  Thank you lonedrake.

[Boethius]

To the OP, I don't think the cost of a K-1 is really the issue here.  What should be an issue for you, I believe, is the fact you barely know this woman, yet are willing to bring her to the U.S. on a short term basis with the intent to marry in, I believe, 90 days, and foist her on your son. 
 

[jmana]

Me update:  I called the DOS number and got connected muy rapido.  The  polite attendant told me that they hadn't received my info yet and suggested that it is taking 8 weeks historically to transfer.

I also got this email:

My Betsy is learning how to drive a car.  Starting to get the jitters a bit on my end, 'Am I good enough' self dialogues - always fun.  Hope this helps the reader.

Thank you mods for cleaning up my mess.  Thank you lonedrake.

They told me 8 weeks too, but in reality it only took 2 weeks from the time everything was approved on the USCIS end and when the DOS told me the embassy had received everything (and I got the MOS #).  I think for some it takes longer than others depending on which embassy the paperwork is going to.  My advice would be to call once a week just to see if they have any updates.

[jmana]

To the OP, I don't think the cost of a K-1 is really the issue here.  What should be an issue for you, I believe, is the fact you barely know this woman, yet are willing to bring her to the U.S. on a short term basis with the intent to marry in, I believe, 90 days, and foist her on your son.

Yeah, 11 months of correspondence is "barely knowing her" .   What do you mean by I am bringing her here on a short term basis?  I'm hopefully bringing her here permanently!  And my son is okay with it, he's a cool kid

[Boethius]

You are strangers until you live together.  So, 11 months of correspondence is meaningless.  You posted previously it took you 3 years of living with your ex wife to know her true nature. 

What I meant by short term is, you will have this woman in your home for 90 days, at which time, she will either return to Russia, or you will marry her.  90 days is not long enough to know someone.  I'd say go for it if you didn't have a child, but your desire will have an effect on your child, and he has zero say in the matter.  What happens if you don't agree with how she disciplines your son?  What happens if she favours her child over yours?  How old is your son?  Will she be able to hide this, so you are not even aware of it?