Language

[missAmeno]

I promised my wife that when I return to Ukraine in January I will double the number of Ukrainian words that I know.

Currently I know three words. da, nyet and babushka


I think my wife said "momma" is the same....so maybe four.

Lonedrake, unfortunately you will not get away with learning only 4 new words on your next trip. As you also know the following (and all of them are used in Ukrainian language): advocate, barrister, jury, coffee, taxi, lift, elevator, computer, clown, business, businessman, office, broker, investor, cooperative, sniper, jazz, record, designer, volleyball, basketball, match, football, goalkeeper, sport, manager, management, marketing, tunnel, printer, tractor, excavator, bulldozer, waggon, hockey, start, rum, whiskey, vodka, cocktail, barman, anesthesia, hormone, velvet, mohair, foxtrot, bowling, tennis, badminton, box, boxer, golf, radar, budget, container, kerosene, insulin, tank, leader, aqualung, vaseline, asteroid, conveyor, bulldog, gorilla, mustang, nylon, detective, director, gentleman, radio, gas, kaleidoscope, export, import and of course dollar 

It is far from full list but it is good start. Now you could try to double it 

[lonedrake]

To be pedantic, those are all Russian, not Ukrainian words.  The Ukrainian equivalents are "tak", "ni", and "baba" or as a diminutive, "babusya"

 I guess I am at zero

 But....much easier to double

 What is ironic is that when I first became interested in looking for FSUW I thought I would like to learn the language.

 Now it is the opposite. I am only interested in helping her improve her English.

[lonedrake]

Lonedrake, unfortunately you will not get away with learning only 4 new words on your next trip. As you also know the following (and all of them are used in Ukrainian language): advocate, barrister, jury, coffee, taxi, lift, elevator, computer, clown, business, businessman, office, broker, investor, cooperative, sniper, jazz, record, designer, volleyball, basketball, match, football, goalkeeper, sport, manager, management, marketing, tunnel, printer, tractor, excavator, bulldozer, waggon, hockey, start, rum, whiskey, vodka, cocktail, barman, anesthesia, hormone, velvet, mohair, foxtrot, bowling, tennis, badminton, box, boxer, golf, radar, budget, container, kerosene, insulin, tank, leader, aqualung, vaseline, asteroid, conveyor, bulldog, gorilla, mustang, nylon, detective, director, gentleman, radio, gas, kaleidoscope, export, import and of course dollar 

It is far from full list but it is good start. Now you could try to double it 

 Thank you....but this is one post I wish you had wrote in Russian. I am definitely not telling my wife

[Ooooops]

It is far from full list but it is good start.

Russian language is like a sponge for foreign words.   

[mendeleyev]

Broken Russian...broken English: Recently on a newer episode of REAL RUSSIA, Sergei B. was explaining to his English audience that the supermarket they were filming in Ufa had given permission for the video cameras for the segment. Producer Sergei G. speaks not a thread of English so he didn't catch it but I had to chuckle as the audience was shown those lockers at the front of most larger stores in which to temporary deposit items not from the store "in order to avoid any unpleasant understandings with security." 

Russian is a dominate language in this region and personally I think it valuable for everyone to know a second language, so why not Russian?

A person's birth language is the language of the heart. At age 94 and in the final months of his life, my Dad reverted to Dutch and never went back to English. He didn't even realize the change.

A heart language is especially important to some women and I decided that it would show extra care and respect to make love to my wife in Russian although she speaks English, too. Has she appreciated it? Heck, she taught me some cool new words!

[Misha]

I'm sure this topic has been covered, and probably more than once.  But at the moment I'm too tired and / or lazy to search.

How many of you learned more than a few words of Russian / Ukrainian?

I speak only Russian with my wife.

[ML]

I speak only Russian with my wife.

I guess that is really helping her adapt to a permanent life in Canada.

Or is English and French being displaced by Russian in Canada?
Hadn't heard about that.

[GQBlues]

...
A person's birth language is the language of the heart. At age 94 and in the final months of his life, my Dad reverted to Dutch and never went back to English. He didn't even realize the change....

Interesting. It's different with me. My personal barometer regarding dominant language in a person who speak more than one is which language do you normally speak in your dreams? Most of the time this is difficult to capture as this generally are in your subconscious thoughts, but there are occasional pronounced moments in your dreams where language recognition is undeniable.

[Misha]

I guess that is really helping her adapt to a permanent life in Canada.

After 7 years, she is pretty much fully integrated, thank you kindly. Now, when she speaks Russian, she slips in English words. However, she is striving now to learn some French as this is the language that I use with my daughter :x

[die_cast]

?

Since she is coming to the USA, you don't think she needs to speak English more than I need to speak Russian?? 

I wonder where did you read it. 
I quoted two OP's statements. Where you read that I said he is wrong saying that she needs speak English? If I'm Russian, it doesn't mean I defend any Russian person no matter what she/he does/says/thinks. 
I completely agree with OP that she needs to learn English much more than he needs to learn Russian, and I'm suprprised that her English is still worse than his Russian. Just think how bad should be her English that his Russian is even better than her English! That's why I say "WOW." And she is going to move to English-speaking country and live there. That's what she should think about while her man is talking to her on Russian.
One more thing: it's just unwise for OP to keep learning Russian, because it seems his lady doesn't put any efforts into learning English, and one more reason of it is that he is talking to her on Russian. Why would she learn English if she can talk to her English-speaking man on Russian?

[die_cast]

I think what she means is "unless you speak the other person's language fluently, and / or vice versa, you are doomed."  Guess time will tell.

If I meant it I would said it.
What a weird guess indeed.

[GQBlues]

...I completely agree with OP that she needs to learn English much more than he needs to learn Russian, and I'm suprprised that her English is still worse than his Russian. Just think how bad should be her English that his Russian is even better than her English! That's why I say "WOW." And she is going to move to English-speaking country and live there. That's what she should think about while her man is talking to her on Russian.
One more thing: it's just unwise for OP to keep learning Russian, because it seems his lady doesn't put any efforts into learning English, and one more reason of it is that he is talking to her on Russian. Why would she learn English if she can talk to her English-speaking man on Russian?

Since no one had even supported and agreed with your post, I'm afraid it's because it was too logical for the board's consumption.

[mendeleyev]

Ok, GQ, I'll respond. 

...I completely agree with OP that she needs to learn English much more than he needs to learn Russian, and I'm suprprised that her English is still worse than his Russian.

Even if they live in the USA, the benefits of a man learning some Russian is very real. Over the years I've seen that men who make at least some effort are rewarded for that effort in terms of respect, the relationship and just a general sense of wholeness when the family travels back to the FSU.

That a wife's English has not improved is of grave concern, or at least it should be. The first question I'd be asking is "why not?" Is she in a circle of Russians who don't respect their new country enough to assimilate?

And she is going to move to English-speaking country and live there.

I wouldn't be as concerned however if they've not arrived in his country yet but even so she should be making an effort. Upon arrival she'll be surrounded by English speakers and if she doesn't want to learn then, they have a problem.

One more thing: it's just unwise for OP to keep learning Russian, because it seems his lady doesn't put any efforts into learning English, and one more reason of it is that he is talking to her on Russian. Why would she learn English if she can talk to her English-speaking man on Russian?

This I don't totally agree and for some of the reasons stated above. However at her stage of language, yes he should primarily be speaking to her in English if they are planning to move to his country. That doesn't negate however the advantages of his language proficiency.

[Misha]

Why would she learn English if she can talk to her English-speaking man on Russian?

Simple: work, friends, television, shopping and pretty much everything else. My wife isn't with me every waking moment, and she had plenty of opportunity to speak English while working and when spending time with Canadian friends or simply when we watched Netflix together. The advantage of having a language that we are both relatively comfortable speaking is avoiding the misunderstanding that invariably transpire when there are language barriers or impediments.

[mendeleyev]

It doesn't happen that often, but on rare occasions you can listen to a conversation where a Russian speaking wife and her friends are talking and her husband sits nearby and you could only wish that the ole boy knew some Russian. It would give the man a better sense of where he stands in his wife's eyes because he could perhaps learn and benefit from some behaviour modification and that would make their marriage stronger if she respected him.

I believe that such loose talk is very disrespectful on the part of the wife and don't excuse her, yet in some cases it is clear that the man paid for his wife and imported her so in his mind no further work on the marriage is necessary. Neither is healthy.

[GQBlues]

Ok, GQ, I'll respond. 

 

Even if they live in the USA, the benefits of a man learning some Russian is very real. Over the years I've seen that men who make at least some effort are rewarded for that effort in terms of respect, the relationship and just a general sense of wholeness when the family travels back to the FSU....

Will that apply if the woman also have to learn *my* language or would it be too much to expect from her in addition to learning English?

My marriage already has all the general sense of wholeness without her learning how to say 'Mahal Kita' u sexy than, you! in *my* language.

But seriously, it does the woman who is learning English, while already living in an English-speaking country, a disservice when you employ speaking with her in her native tongue. At least if the intent is to get her acclimated and well-adjusted to her new society. I've seen far too many Hispanics and other immigrants forego learning the language altogether and end up living their lives secluded from it either on a prolonged mount of time or altogether.

I grant you *some* folks are content living like that and resigned to be mired in mediocrity. For me personally, I know my wife deserves to explore her individuality and worth in her new environment as much as she can possibly embrace and language plays a very vital role in that ambition.

...That a wife's English has not improved is of grave concern, or at least it should be. The first question I'd be asking is "why not?" Is she in a circle of Russians who don't respect their new country enough to assimilate?...

I wouldn't call it as a lack of respect. From someone who had to learn English from 'zero', despite English being a relatively easy language to learn; it can still be a very intimidating experience for anyone who can barely speak the language and have to deal with her/his new society at large - alone. Consequently, for many , it's easier to just succumb to extricating oneself from a situation because of feelings of inadequacy. 

...I wouldn't be as concerned however if they've not arrived in his country yet but even so she should be making an effort. Upon arrival she'll be surrounded by English speakers and if she doesn't want to learn then, they have a problem.



This I don't totally agree and for some of the reasons stated above. However at her stage of language, yes he should primarily be speaking to her in English if they are planning to move to his country. That doesn't negate however the advantages of his language proficiency.

I would have no problem or reservation doing the reverse if our lives was to live in my wife's country. Moreover, I would ask my wife NOT to learn my tongue as it would only impede my progress and may in fact even add to my frustration because in addition to the effort I had to expend learning her language, I find myself instead teaching her to learn mine when at the time of our relationship - it is utterly unnecessary. Why add the unnecessary stress?

[mendeleyev]

But seriously, it does the woman who is learning English, while already living in an English-speaking country, a disservice when you employ speaking with her in her native tongue. At least if the intent is to get her acclimated and well-adjusted to her new society. I've seen far too many Hispanics and other immigrants forego learning the language altogether and end up living their lives secluded from it either on a prolonged mount of time or altogether.

We're not in disagreement on this. 

[GQBlues]

It doesn't happen that often, but on rare occasions you can listen to a conversation where a Russian speaking wife and her friends are talking and her husband sits nearby and you could only wish that the ole boy knew some Russian. It would give the man a better sense of where he stands in his wife's eyes because he could perhaps learn and benefit from some behaviour modification and that would make their marriage stronger if she respected him.

I believe that such loose talk is very disrespectful on the part of the wife and don't excuse her, yet in some cases it is clear that the man paid for his wife and imported her so in his mind no further work on the marriage is necessary. Neither is healthy.

Mendy-

This is a great point. Glad you brought it up.

Without having to add cherry with my adoration with wifey, I would have you know that everytime we are in the company of Russian-speaking folks - my wife had before taken the time to ask her friends, or folks, to speak English when I or someone who doesn't speak Russian is in their company. Her friends today, and it doesn't matter what the conversation is, always speaks English. In very rare instances when someone says something in Russian, she or one of her friends would immediately explain it to me, or to someone, what was said.

I know I never can never speak my language around folks who do not understand it. I also know I find it disrespectful when Spanish-speaking folks have a full blown conversation in front of people who doesn't speak Spanish. As do my wife. So she always sees to it she doesn't do it to anyone else, especially to her sexy husband.

[lonedrake]

A week or two ago my wife was having a conversation,with her co-workers, about me learning Ukrainian. It seems most of the co-workers felt it is only right that I learn Ukranian since my wife must improve her English. My wife's response..." Why? He is not moving to Ukraine"

[Ooooops]

Yes, the only times when disadvantages of my husband not speaking Russian are the occasions of us getting together with my Russian friends.  But those occasions are so far in-between and all my friends speak English to entertain my better half in his language while I can yap in Russian, so that doesn't really mater either.     

[Faux Pas]

Without having to add cherry with my adoration with wifey, I would have you know that everytime we are in the company of Russian-speaking folks - my wife had before taken the time to ask her friends, or folks, to speak English when I or someone who doesn't speak Russian is in their company. Her friends today, and it doesn't matter what the conversation is, always speaks English. In very rare instances when someone says something in Russian, she or one of her friends would immediately explain it to me, or to someone, what was said.

Often my wife and I are in the company of folks that Russian is their first language and I am the only one that doesn't speak it. I don't ask any of them to speak English unless they are speaking to me. If I join in the conversation or get dragged into it they normally go to English. Usually, it's all women and I don't want to be in it anyways. On occasion I will sit down with them and have some tea and they will mostly speak English. Wouldn't it be rude to ask them to speak English. just so I can understand when I'm likely not interested in the conversation anyway? I don't see it as disrespect. Quite the opposite. I want them comfortable in my presence or in my home. Different strokes for different folks I guess. 

[GQBlues]

Yeah, well the last time we had Russian folks in our house and they started speaking Russian, I immediately went to the garage and got a spray paint. Painted their cars' back window, "Rude Russian Speakers'. Then tied a half dozen strings on the back bumpers with empty tin cans on the ends so the entire city will know who the people are in the respective cars as they scurry by. Walked in the house and kicked them all out and can hear the distant clanging of the tin cans for a good 10 minutes. Hah! such rudeness...they all deserved it.


Seriously though, my wife once sat in a room with me full of people speaking Tagalog. One look at her direction I knew it's got to sux for her. The feeling of being 'alone' in a room full of people can't be a good thing. So, I took it upon myself and told everyone to speak English. No one mind doing so and understood why...wifey thanked me when we got home. She knows and I know, there will be times where she or I can openly speak our respective tongue any other time when within our respective circle. There are just times we're both aware when this isn't cool...

Just me, is all...

[Faux Pas]

Yeah, well the last time we had Russian folks in our house and they started speaking Russian, I immediately went to the garage and got a spray paint. Painted their cars' back window, "Rude Russian Speakers'. Then tied a half dozen strings on the back bumpers with empty tin cans on the ends so the entire city will know who the people are in the respective cars as they scurry by. Walked in the house and kicked them all out and can hear the distant clanging of the tin cans for a good 10 minutes. Hah! such rudeness...they all deserved it.


Seriously though, my wife once sat in a room with me full of people speaking Tagalog. One look at her direction I knew it's got to sux for her. The feeling of being 'alone' in a room full of people can't be a good thing. So, I took it upon myself and told everyone to speak English. No one mind doing so and understood why...wifey thanked me when we got home. She knows and I know, there will be times where she or I can openly speak our respective tongue any other time when within our respective circle. There are just times we're both aware when this isn't cool...

Just me, is all...

To be fair, here is a different dynamic in my situation. Most of these Russian speakers do still struggle somewhat with English. When they try to include me I can see where it slows down the conversation significantly. Thus, your wife's situation and mine have important different nuances. I actually know 50-75 words in Russian and I do pick up much more of the conversation that these people believe. But, that's mostly my secret

[Ooooops]

To be fair, here is a different dynamic in my situation. Most of these Russian speakers do still struggle somewhat with English.

Are they all newcomers? 

[Faux Pas]

Are they all newcomers?

I guess that would depend on your definition of newcomer. The answer is yes to varying degree. Struggle was probably a bad description on my part. My wife has been here for 5 years and she still struggles with it often