Divorce finally final after 3 years and 3 different lawyers for her.

[TomT]

Boe-- do you think [that] you could attribute the quotes [to which you are responding] when you include? You have been asked previously and you are back to [your] old bad habits!!  You are a serial offender  but [you are] not the only one who does it.

Your criticism has merit only if we make the presumption that the readers are a pack of morons who can neither read nor write in their native tongue. 

[Gator]

I didn't post she changed.  I posted most people change most dramatically during the years (early twenties) Greg was married to his ex.

 
 
 
I would ignore this but given your subsequent lecture in this thread about assuming most readers are smart enough to figure out to whom you are responding, I thought we should examine the concept of precision. 
 
 
Your exact statement:

She hadn't experienced much of life before marrying and people change the most in the years she married, had children, and initiated a divorce.

 
What else should a reader conclude other than "she changed."   If your sentence contains two separate thoughts, I should suggest that you contrast them by separate paragraphs, or use a segue, but not combine them in the same sentence without a separating comma. 
 
If you do not know whether she changed (and actually you and I don't know), you should write "We do not know if Greg's wife changed during his marriage; however, one can presume she did because most people change most dramatically during the years (early twenties) Greg was married to her.  [PS - Sandro and I usually available to help Canadians with composition lessons. ]
 
If you are being precise, please note that you did not use the adjective "most people" in your first posting. 
 
Now, the big question.   Whether Greg's wife changed makes no difference with regard to your defense of Ade.   So why split hairs?   


 

I make no comment on whether the man the ex married is a step down.

That was my comment based on his spanking Greg's children, living with his parents, and knocking up a woman while she is still married to another man.   Maybe she lied to him about birth control.

I disagree that we can hazard a guess as to why she changed attorneys. Typically, it is because the attorney tells the client something he/she doesn't want to hear/believe.  Were I to hazard a guess, I would the ex's disputes with her lawyers were primarily related to custody, and the difference between a Ukrainian mentality on who children "belong" to, and American
mentality.

Agree, thereby suggesting intractability, not change.  And to refresh your mind, my original comment is that she has not changed, certainly not dramatically. 
 
I still do not know what you meant by "With two very young children, that would be an incredibly stupid move."

[GQBlues]

Speaking of Greg...where the heck is he?

I hope he didn't take the first flight out to the Philippines considering his last post on another thread.  Being from Georgia, how can a man resist the irresistible charm of a blue-eyed, blonde Peach with a sexy southern drawl...

[SANDRO43]

[PS - Sandro and I usually available to help Canadians with composition lessons. ]

Other North American 'subcultures', too: you forgot to insert a verb (ARE) after "Sandro and I" .

[pokerintherear]

To the OP

In my opinion I would not post on forums of this type. Don't even visit these places. These are nasty, toxic places for men in relationships. You are starting over and don't need to be here. It would be better to stay off the internet. If you must have some computer time try visiting some "red pill " type forums. Learn to take control of your next relationship and be the leader. You wont find the tools here. And as you see its not enjoyable.

Good luck

[GregfromGa]

Speaking of Greg...where the heck is he?

I hope he didn't take the first flight out to the Philippines considering his last post on another thread.  Being from Georgia, how can a man resist the irresistible charm of a blue-eyed, blonde Peach with a sexy southern drawl...

LoL, not so fast my friend. Hope you are well GQ. I always enjoyed our talks on the phone. I'm a long ways from jumping back on that horse. Hope you have been doing well as well as that beautiful wife of yours.
Gator, my friend you have always been a voice of reason here. This place is lucky to have you. Your knowledge and insight are a breath of fresh air to newbies and those of us that are not so new at this.
And you guys are right. There certainly are two stories but I've been as honest as I can be. For a long time I looked at this place as a refuge to come and share the good times, stories. When the wheels came off I didn't run away from here like some. I have 2 great kids from my failed marriage. I have no regrets. My ex would never listen to a counselor. She wouldn't listen to an Orthodox Priest. She has a long row to hoe in life unless she changes.
I made all those trips to Kharkov to see her before we married. I found it odd that she had no friends other than her sister. Not one of her friends attended our wedding and she never had contact with anyone from her life over there. Once arriving here that trend continued and continues to this day. Well I guess she has one friend because they are married now but she never trusted people,never wanted friends. In her business she talked with dozens of women a day. A lot of them would've loved to be her friend. They tried. Never happened. I hope she finds happiness. I see her once a week when we exchange our kids. She is miserable. She has became her mother.

[Turboguy]

To the OP

In my opinion I would not post on forums of this type. Don't even visit these places. These are nasty, toxic places for men in relationships. You are starting over and don't need to be here. It would be better to stay off the internet. If you must have some computer time try visiting some "red pill " type forums. Learn to take control of your next relationship and be the leader. You wont find the tools here. And as you see its not enjoyable.

Good luck

That is a decision everyone has to make for themselves but my experience would give me the opposite opinion of yours.  To me, when I joined RWD it was a life changing experience.   Trying to find my way on my own was like wondering in a dark abyss.  It was such an improvement to be able to learn from the mistakes of others and to tap the experiences of many people who had ventured down paths I wanted to explore.   I probably put up with at least my share of crap back in those days but I always tried to keep in mind that even if I didn't like what I was hearing the people saying it were trying to help, at least usually.  I think participating here greatly increases someone's chance of success.

[lonedrake]

In my opinion I would not post on forums of this type. Don't even visit these places. These are nasty, toxic places for men in relationships. You are starting over and don't need to be here. It would be better to stay off the internet. If you must have some computer time try visiting some "red pill " type forums. Learn to take control of your next relationship and be the leader. You wont find the tools here. And as you see its not enjoyable.

 The OP has been here over 8 years.   I do find this advice "weird" I guess. Simply because you advise to stay away from this place...yet you are here.  It makes no sense. I f you took your own advice you would have never posted this...because you would never come here.

Maybe I am missing something?

[Daveman]

Speaking of Greg...where the heck is he?

I hope he didn't take the first flight out to the Philippines considering his last post on another thread.  Being from Georgia, how can a man resist the irresistible charm of a blue-eyed, blonde Peach with a sexy southern drawl...

Bwahahahaha... the grass is always greener, man.  The indigenous male population is immune to the draw of the drawl.  In fact, well, not really fact, but subjective opinion, the drawl can be rather annoying. 


Georgia's reputation for her Peaches, however, is well deserved. 

[Ooooops]

Speaking of Philippinos - most popular maids in Moscow, according to my friend who brought her kids nanny with her from Singapore when she got a couple year work assignment there. 

[Daveman]

 The OP has been here over 8 years.   I do find this advice "weird" I guess. Simply because you advise to stay away from this place...yet you are here.  It makes no sense. I f you took your own advice you would have never posted this...because you would never come here.

Maybe I am missing something?

well, with a name like "pokerintherear", it's obvious  he gets his "kicks"...elsewhere!   

[Gator]

Other North American 'subcultures', too: you forgot to insert a verb (ARE) after "Sandro and I" .

Believe it or not I might have introduced that mistake subconsciously just to determine if you were reading. 
 
I did consciously leave something in one post that is exactly what I had earlier criticized.

[GQBlues]

Speaking of Philippinos - most popular maids in Moscow, according to my friend who brought her kids nanny with her from Singapore when she got a couple year work assignment there.

It's *Filipinos*. There's no such thing as 'Philippinos'. So better edit that quickly to keep up with the hype all Russian women are *edukatid*
 

Other North American 'subcultures', too: you forgot to insert a verb (ARE) after "Sandro and I" .

  
 
 

[Ooooops]

It's *Filipinos*. There's no such thing as 'Philippinos'. So better edit that quickly to keep up with the hype all Russian women are *edukatid*
 

Is it so?   Ok, let it be Filipinos.   But the fact stands that they are most prized maids (and other server staff) here in Asia (and in Russia as well nowadays).  Well, may be just on par with Indonesians.   Did I spell it right?   

[GQBlues]

...LoL, not so fast my friend. Hope you are well GQ. I always enjoyed our talks on the phone. I'm a long ways from jumping back on that horse. Hope you have been doing well as well as that beautiful wife of yours...

I'm doing well actually, Greg. Thanks and hope the same with you. Honestly though, I don't recall ever having a phone conversation with you although I know we've had the pleasant exchanges of emails and pics. You have a beautiful looking family as I remember. Those Christmas family pics you used to send were pretty awesome.
 
Dude, you used to always say you were one lucky SOB for having the wife that you do. I don't ever remember you writing me an email without ever saying those words. I meant what I said upthread about how despite things working out the way they are, these sentiments about your wife should never change. Especially now that you both will forever be bonded by your two beautiful kids.
 
Heck, if you need to unleash some frustration, man...curse the fighting Irishmen for a so-so season despite beating 'SC    Hah-ha! (Of course you know my Bruins also have two losses so far)
 
I'm not quite sure what the root is of your gripe with Ade and/or Boethius. But honestly, like with you, I haven't had the opportunity to meet either of them in person but I already find both more than decent compared to some I actually met in person. In my experience in meeting folks from the board, hypocrisy runs rampant more often than not. Some just outright scums.
 
There used to be a member here named *JR* and he once asked if we could meet, chat and share some info regarding FSUWs. I gracefully declined. It has nothing to do with him as his posts here were pretty balanced. Chalk it up as I'm more than disappointed with those I had actually met from the boards.
 
The Dean, SmoothOperator, had been right all along. As Anatoly Kaplin said, way too many Yankee Betaboys involved in this pursuit. So darn close to SO's SRMs if you asked me. I suppose it is the nature of the beast.
 
Sometimes it isn't surprising many of the unions don't last that long. Or that they fall off the wayside sooner than later. I've met enough couples to clearly see the reasons why they don't. Maybe the fact they mostly met in supermarkets have a great deal to do with it. They didn't have time to get to know each other well, you know.
 
There was a time my MIL and I had some pretty rough sailing too. It got to the point where it bothered my wife so much she finally dug in and told Mumski she's married to me and decisions made that involves 'us', her hubby has the final decision. Since then, Mumski had been more than cordial. Of course, the fact I'm Popski's favorite SIL and her sister never lets an opportunity go by without sending me their well wishes, Mumski likely understands times may have change a little. But I can empathize with you in your difficulty dealing with your (ex) MIL. Babas will always be Babushkas. Deep inside my MIL she knows nothing but great things had come to her daughter since our marriage. After all, that is exactly what she also hoped for for all her kids.
 
There was a portion in your post upthread that just takes me back with you though, Greg. Do you honestly feel your wife, or other men's wives, owe their respetive half a great deal of gratitude? I wonder if so, for what? For the life they have here? I find this mystifying because it flies oh-so-close to saying these women would otherwise have nothing if not for the men. To me that's almost having a pretty nasty sense of superiority over these women. Maybe you didn't mean it that way thus I thought to ask. I appreciate my wife dearly and what I do for her and our marriage I do because it's natural for me to do so. Not some linear obligation that should be a cause for her to be grateful for.
 
Maybe you still 'love' your wife, maybe you no longer do. Irish that you are, I know how passionate you can be and hope that if the 'love' is gone, the caring will never stop. I wish all the good things for you, Greg. Your kids and of course their mother because I will always think of all of you as 'one'.
 

[GQBlues]

Is it so?   Ok, let it be Filipinos.   But the fact stands that they are most prized maids (and other server staff) here in Asia (and in Russia as well nowadays).  Well, may be just on par with Indonesians.   Did I spell it right?    

A lot of them actually are, Oooppss. But I'm not so sure where you're coming from with that statement? Does the fact a lot of Russian women can be found on strip joints and brothel means you believe some displaced sense of superiority for being Russian?

What was your point?

[Ooooops]

What was your point?

There was no point, just an observation.   But I can see that you, being from Philippines, can over react to such statement. 

[Ooooops]

Does the fact a lot of Russian women can be found on strip joints and brothel means you believe some displaced sense of superiority for being Russian?

BTW, maid is a very honest job.  And very respectful too.  Not sure where your insecurity comes from?..

[GQBlues]

There was no point, just an observation.   But I can see that you, being from Philippines, can over react to such statement.

OK, one more time...it's THE Philippines. If you're having a difficult time distinguishing proper article placement, maybe a Filipino maid can help you with that.
 
Remember the hype, ok? 

[Ooooops]

OK, one more time...it's THE Philippines. If you're having a difficult time distinguishing proper article placement, maybe a Filipino maid can help you with that.

Ok, I was correct in my assumptions and in the very worst ones I might add.   Now, place it on the table and let us measure it!   

[Boethius]

Oh, I think it is just as Ukrainians don't like when people write the Ukraine.   However, GQ, remember, there is no article in Russian.

[Ooooops]

However, GQ, remember, there is no article in Russian.

And it makes perfect sense!!!      

[GregfromGa]

GQ, It hurts you don't remember us talking. LOL, I always thought I made better impressions. LOL, To address my sentiments about being grateful.  I don't feel girls owe their respective husbands gratitude for marrying them. I think anyone not living in poverty,being healthy, having a decent job or whatever should be grateful for being members of the lucky sperm club. My ex thought she was prettier,had more style as she called it, more talent  and was more intelligent than anyone that ever walked in her shop. All the women here were all uneducated rednecks in her eyes even the educated ones. For someone that didn't have hot water, a family car,2 pairs of jeans and a shared apartment with 3 others when we met I found this very telling over the years. It got worse not better. Her mom fueled this attitude. I never saw this sign over there. I'm grateful for my health,my family and friends and the fact I have food,clothing and a nice place to lay my head. I don't think people owe me anything. I want my kids grow up to have the attributes. She refused to tell her customers "Thank You" because she thought she should be the one getting  the thanks although they were pulling money and paying her. There were weeks she would make more in a week than she would make in a year in her old job in Ukraine. It got old.

[SANDRO43]

It's *Filipinos*. There's no such thing as 'Philippinos'.

But the islands are called The Philippines and the nation Republic of the Philippines in English, so the confusion is understandable .

The Philippines are named in honor of King Philip (Felipe) II of Spain. Spanish explorer Ruy López de Villalobos during his expedition in 1542 named the islands of Leyte and Samar Felipinas after the then Prince of Asturias - the latter incidentally the name of a beautiful piece of guitar music by Isaac Albéniz:

However, if you ask a native, he'll call himself a Pilipino (at least my houseboy does) - and the nation is Repúblika ng Pilipinas because, IINM, the Tagalog alphabet (a, ba, ka, da, e, ga, ha, i, la, ma, na, nga, o, pa, ra, sa, ta, u, wa, ya) has no F sound.

[GQBlues]

Bwahahahaha... the grass is always greener, man.  The indigenous male population is immune to the draw of the drawl.  In fact, well, not really fact, but subjective opinion, the drawl can be rather annoying.  ...

I actually prefer the southern accent over Russian accent. So you're right, it is subjective

..Georgia's reputation for her Peaches, however, is well deserved. 

This, I agree. I had an ex-GF who was born in Savannah. Awesome, awesome gal.

But the islands are called The Philippines and the nation Republic of the Philippines in English, so the confusion is understandable .

The Philippines are named in honor of King Philip (Felipe) II of Spain. Spanish explorer Ruy López de Villalobos during his expedition in 1542 named the islands of Leyte and Samar Felipinas after the then Prince of Asturias - the latter incidentally the name of a beautiful piece of guitar music by Isaac Albéniz:...

He actually named it Las Islas Filipinas, IINM. Previously and unofficially called at the time as 'Islas (del?) Ponente/Poniente'. Villalobos was dispatched from Mexico by the first Spanish Colonial administrator to newly discovered territories.

It's been a long time since I dabbled into much of the nation's history. What I still remember aside from the origin of the country's name, was the fact Ferdinand Magellan, a Portugese explorer, was the first colonial empire explorer to discover and arrived in 1521 on one of the islands of Samar region. I'm not quite sure what followed after until the arrival of Villalobos.l  But even then, it wasn't until 1565 that the Spanish began their settlement and started their colonization.

The Philippines, like countries of Africa, is one of the nation that still suffers today from the colonization years by the Europeans. Then after the Spanish-American war, America established a military government there for spell, in which Filipinos fought hard against despite overwhelming military disadvantages. Legend has it that the US military had to create a higher velocity firearm to stop and kill a charging Filipino militant. They were suffering large casualties and are getting hacked with machete despite unloading their guns at these charging natives. Thus the term ' running amok' came to local usage. There's even a book written to further explain these warring behaviors. I believe it was titled, appropriately enough, 'AMOK'. In Tagalog, that is called 'huramentado'. Uncontrollable outrage.

...However, if you ask a native, he'll call himself a Pilipino (at least my houseboy does) - and the nation is Repúblika ng Pilipinas because, IINM, the Tagalog alphabet (a, ba, ka, da, e, ga, ha, i, la, ma, na, nga, o, pa, ra, sa, ta, u, wa, ya) has no F sound....

Tagalog generally contain Spanish words. A direct result of the colonization years. There are Tagalog words that start with an 'F', officially recognized or otherwise. 'Fiesta comes to mind. Filipinos just have a hard time with the 'f' sound and thus for locals, it is 'Pilipinos' instead of the proper 'Filipinos' (Las Islas Filipinas). Just as Japanese have a hard time with words that start with 'L', pronouncing them with an 'R' sound. 'Rrrr-ion' for Lions - 'Rrros Angeleres'.

The jab for native Filipinos however is, 'Q' for Cucumber and 'L' for Elephant. 

Additionally, IINM, they never use 'th', 'ch' and 'ph'. Which is strange considering the official English name of the country. For instance, *Machine* is Makina, while in Russian, it sounds like 'Machina'. Of course, for Russians, that would mean 'car', while in Tagalog it is the same meaning as in English. Car in Tagalog, I believe is, Kotse

Filipinos are everywhere. A lot of them are in the service industry. Many are also Engineers (men) and nurses (women). In Hawaii, most of the hotel workers are Filipinos. They all have that distinct 'accent' wherever they go. I suppose that to be true for other immigrants coming to another country.

For instance, I heard there are now many Russian women marrying Filipinos and are moving to the Philippines and learning Tagalog.