Divorce finally final after 3 years and 3 different lawyers for her.

[Faux Pas]

No:)) I have two young kids with me, speaking Russian and English:) Only a male chauvinist pig would demand his kids are not spoken to in Russian whilst married to a Russian women. Disgusting behaviour!

You, like so many on this thread have leaped to unfounded conclusions. Go read it again

[steveboy]

I dont need to do that! The bottom line is there should be no rules of how and when to speak to kids in their mothers language, it should not even come into the equation or need to be discussed in any partnership/marriage.

Im not going to say any more on the subject in case I upset a few people. Finito. I haven't got any hankies on me.

[Hammer2722]

You, like so many on this thread have leaped to unfounded conclusions. Go read it again
[/quote ]
 
Absolutely, I think some here are experiencing reading comprehension problems or their imginations are running wild.
 
Steveboy, Please quote where Greg said that he forbade Russian being spoken in the house? He said his wife forbade English being spoken to the kids in the house. That would be difficult to do since Greg does not speak Russian. Remember, they live in the US not Russia. To require that the children speak only Russian at home means that Greg is not allowed to speak to his kids at all. Where is the common sense in all that?
 
I believe the children should be taught to speak both Russian and English at home. My son grew up with me speaking Spanish to him and my wife speaking English. Kids have a higher capacity for leaning than adults do. They won't have any problems learning 2 languages.....
 

[Faux Pas]

I dont need to do that! The bottom line is there should be no rules of how and when to speak to kids in their mothers language, it should not even come into the equation or need to be discussed in any partnership/marriage.

Im not going to say any more on the subject in case I upset a few people. Finito. I haven't got any hankies on me.

If you make these demands and that works in your household, great! Power to you but, should everyone conform to your belief? Such a subject IMHO should be an agreement or compromise between the husband and wife and their individual children and perhaps all children do not wish to speak whatever tongue is forced on them? What then?

[steveboy]

You, like so many on this thread have leaped to unfounded conclusions. Go read it again

Absolutely, I think some here are experiencing reading comprehension problems or their imginations are running wild.
 
Steveboy, Please quote where Greg said that he forbade Russian being spoken in the house? He said his wife forbade English being spoken to the kids in the house. That would be difficult to do since Greg does not speak Russian. Remember, they live in the US not Russia. To require that the children speak only Russian at home means that Greg is not allowed to speak to his kids at all. Where is the common sense in all that?
 
I believe the children should be taught to speak both Russian and English at home. My son grew up with me speaking Spanish to him and my wife speaking English. Kids have a higher capacity for leaning than adults do. They won't have any problems learning 2 languages.....

Ok maybe I did jump to conclusions , just a little. Its ok for me to start about the MIL ? 

[Wayne]

My Grandmother would speak to her Sons in Ukrainian, and they could all understand her and answer back in Ukrainian. However, my Father would never answer his Mother in Ukrainian. He never tried to teach Ukrainian to us kids. Each person is different and sometimes the more you try to force something--the more resistance you get!
 
If you remember, Czar Nicolas II had four daughters and one son. His wife was an English Princess. I have heard that the children spoke English as their first language--and did not know Russian hardly at all!  Now the Czar was a very powerful and extremenly rich person. Why didn't he force everyone to speak Russian?
 
You can find on the internet poems in English written by one of the Czar's daughters, I think it was Maria? You can also find personal letters written in English between the Czar and his wife.

[Daveman]

Why not??? Only stupid people can only have a conversation in one language)) To many people are to idle to learn another language, kids are pretty capable of speaking two/three languages very easy and switching between the two.

Sitting at the family table, speaking to the children about whatever in two languages, one of which the father doesn't understand much, with a bunch of translating for the father going on... just seems to be defeating the purpose of a "family discussion". Hence, my comment.


I do admit to not having tried that scenario, but it makes more sense to conduct such conversations in one language, since all parties involved understand and speak that language. 


It does makes sense, however, to use both languages with translation as necessary, if the mother cannot speak English well.

[SANDRO43]

If you remember, Czar Nicolas II had four daughters and one son. His wife was an English Princess.

Princess Viktoria Alix Helena Luise Beatrice of Hesse Darmstadt, grandniece of Queen Victoria, was German. English was the only language they shared, her French was worse and she was not especially fluent or comfortable in Russian.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Seems a bit too harsh and discriminative.

Well, it seems you made up your mind a long time ago and are trying to justify it.  No need to continue with the probing questions.   The marriage is dead.  We all can move on now and put this whole mess behind us.

Also, he says he didn't speak any Russian. After 8 years of marriage with a person he does not speak any of this person's language? And wasn't trying to learn, judging by the fact that he didn't want people around him speaking Russian.

Yes, Greg is a terrible person for not learning Russian.  I heard he hates Borscht as well.  He would also get into fits of rage when he would hear "da".  Maybe that was a flashback of finding his MIL in his sock drawer.  Some things you just can't get over.

Doesn't the marriage/relationship require 100% of commitment and effort on both sides, not 50/50 or 80/20?

Commitment to what...  Learning Russian?  Staying home all the time and not working?  Eating Borscht? 

[Misha]

Sitting at the family table, speaking to the children about whatever in two languages, one of which the father doesn't understand much, with a bunch of translating for the father going on... just seems to be defeating the purpose of a "family discussion". Hence, my comment.

Why? Unless a person is deeply paranoid, is it really necessary to translate each and every word? Also, after a number of years, it should be easy enough to understand the key phrases such as "eat your peas [or fill in whatever food here]" or "stop hitting your brother." I for one speak to my baby daughter in French, and my wife does not understand what I am saying. She sees it as a good thing as she wants our daughter to be at minimum trilingual and as we have relatives in Germany, perhaps we can add a bit of German as well to the mix and I won't mind if ever my daughter speaks to distant cousins one day in German and I don't understand each and every word she says.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Why? Unless a person is deeply paranoid, is it really necessary to translate each and every word? Also, after a number of years, it should be easy enough to understand the key phrases such as "eat your peas [or fill in whatever food here]" or "stop hitting your brother." I for one speak to my baby daughter in French, and my wife does not understand what I am saying. She sees it as a good thing as she wants our daughter to be at minimum trilingual and as we have relatives in Germany, perhaps we can add a bit of German as well to the mix and I won't mind if ever my daughter speaks to distant cousins one day in German and I don't understand each and every word she says.

Wanting to be part of a discussion is paranoia now?  Man, Greg should have just stayed at work.  Wait, he is being accused of that was well.

[Hammer2722]

Wanting to be part of a discussion is paranoia now?  Man, Greg should have just stayed at work.  Wait, he is being accused of that was well.

 

[Misha]

Wanting to be part of a discussion is paranoia now?  Man, Greg should have just stayed at work.  Wait, he is being accused of that was well.

Wanting to be part of the discussion is easy: just speak to the child in your language and then speak to your spouse in your shared language. Where exactly is the problem? It is not a board meeting  I will repeat myself once again: if you do not want to hear any other language other than your own, and do not want to learn another language, then marry a unilingual speaker who shares your language. It is called not being able to have your cake and eat it too.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Wanting to be part of the discussion is easy: just speak to the child in your language and then speak to your spouse in your shared language. Where exactly is the problem? It is not a board meeting  I will repeat myself once again: if you do not want to hear any other language other than your own, and do not want to learn another language, then marry a unilingual speaker who shares your language. It is called not being able to have your cake and eat it too.

It also isn't the g4 summit.


Misha, I have had experience with people around me speaking in a foreign language and a person translating for me.


It isn't what I would consider an enjoyable experience.   


That scenario after working all day and wanting to enjoy my kids isn't what I would want either.  You can try and make it into something else like paranoia, but it is hardly the case.   I don't really see the problem with wanting everyone to speak a common language after being away from home 8 to 9 hours a day for work.  They do have the time when Greg was at work to speak in Russian. 


I guess that isn't enough for many of you.


This just goes to show you that talking about how you want your kids to grow up should be discussed before getting married.  Something that I am sure a lot of people neglect to do without much thought.

[steveboy]

What a load of cods wallop!! Thousands of couples live with kids who speak several languages, what is the big deal!! I also work long hours! when I finish, I wouldn't dream of laying some draconian law down about only speaking one language during my free time.
Thats the problem with rushing of to some village to pick up a washer and house cleaner without thinking about things first

[LiveFromUkraine]

What a load of cods wallop!! Thousands of couples live with kids who speak several languages, what is the big deal!! I also work long hours! when I finish, I wouldn't dream of laying some draconian law down about only speaking one language during my free time.
Thats the problem with rushing of to some village to pick up a washer and house cleaner without thinking about things first

You seem to have a lot of time for posting.  Maybe you should work more to provide food for those mouths, eh?

[steveboy]

Im lucky)) I have four big screens in front of me, but yes it does take my time and I will have to make the time up tonight((((( But I find it interesting some of the shit that goes on here. Thats the problem with all those "Supermarket trolly dashes ' to FSU countries

[LiveFromUkraine]

Thats the problem with all those "Supermarket trolly dashes ' to FSU countries

Your website caters to such, correct?

You can sign up in 2 minutes and have a date in 3 minutes.

[Misha]

It also isn't the g4 summit.


Misha, I have had experience with people around me speaking in a foreign language and a person translating for me.


It isn't what I would consider an enjoyable experience.   


That scenario after working all day and wanting to enjoy my kids isn't what I would want either.  You can try and make it into something else like paranoia, but it is hardly the case.   I don't really see the problem with wanting everyone to speak a common language after being away from home 8 to 9 hours a day for work.  They do have the time when Greg was at work to speak in Russian. 


I guess that isn't enough for many of you.


This just goes to show you that talking about how you want your kids to grow up should be discussed before getting married.  Something that I am sure a lot of people neglect to do without much thought.

Again,if you want to come home and hear only your language, then marry a woman from your culture. Also, it is best to assume in all cases, even if she says otherwise, that a woman will speak to her children in her native language.

[Faux Pas]

Im lucky)) I have four big screens in front of me, but yes it does take my time and I will have to make the time up tonight((((( But I find it interesting some of the shit that goes on here. Thats the problem with all those "Supermarket trolly dashes ' to FSU countries

You seem to have plenty of time for pissing, moaning and complaining about a forum that welcomes you here and allows you to post this tripe that you post. Your posts on thread after thread bitching and complaining about this forum and it's members is wearing thin. Contribute something of value or just STFU 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Again,if you want to come home and hear only your language, then marry a woman from your culture. Also, it is best to assume in all cases, even if she says otherwise, that a woman will speak to her children in her native language.

I take it you have nothing else to add to this conversation since you are repeating yourself?   Your opinion has been noted a few times and good for you to have found someone who agrees with your opinion.


You think it is unreasonable, like many others.  I still understand where he is coming from and I can understand why she would want them to learn Russian.


I would bet that there are things in your life I would see as unreasonable and vice versa.

[steveboy]

Your website caters to such, correct?

Of course you can!! But what happens next is a serous matter to think about, I mean marriage and all that with someone from a different culture. If I owned a supermarket I wouldn't stop doing a "Super market dash" just because a few people rushed around the store as fast as possible picking any old food up, only to get home and realise it was exactly what they wanted?



 

[tfcrew]

You seem to have a lot of time for posting.  Maybe you should work more to provide food for those mouths, eh?

Today [Nov 15] ...15 posts and counting.
Somebody call Guinness ..gonna be a record.

[Boethius]

I take it you have nothing else to add to this conversation since you are repeating yourself?   Your opinion has been noted a few times and good for you to have found someone who agrees with your opinion.


You think it is unreasonable, like many others.  I still understand where he is coming from and I can understand why she would want them to learn Russian.


I would bet that there are things in your life I would see as unreasonable and vice versa.

The problem is the lack of compromise.  On both sides.  The language debate in their household was a symptom of their bigger issues as a couple, as was his wife needing her mother around.  Hopefully, they will both learn from their mistakes and experience marital success with other partners.

[YoungBuck]

 in southern California,  there are many mixed language marriages yet it's always assumed that there will be a common language.  it's practical and really should be a non issue. Greg's ex might have been acting in a passive aggressive mode but it really is disrespectful.  at school,  we foreign born or foreign raised,  would speak  in the language we felt comfortable, yet
when we had monolinguals, we would all revert to English out of respect.

 singing a Russian tune to the kids,  or reading a Russian story is not a big deal,  I'm sure Greg feels the same way,  but not reverting back to English,  it is simply being stubborn and disrespectful.  especially after Greg asked.

 with regards to the MIL,  we have a joke in Spanish  that illustrates our opinion of MILs  in general...

como dices suegra en ruso?  how do you say MIL in Russian?
shtorbo.

 which  it's a play on  the Russian sounds and the word, estorbo, or hindrance in English.