Pursuing FSUW 101 in 1996

[skidoddle]

Hey Folks

I read the FSUW 101 post. I used another variation in 1996 to meet my wife however at the time
there as no internet just mail addresses for the women on the sites. (Women did not have internet
at this time - or few did)

I mailed over of 200 letters to each and every women. I had variations of the letters and actually
spent time to write to each women and detailed in the letter something from their profile that
attracted me to them.

I sent out each letter with 3 photos. And I put some of those small glitter charms with each letter inside
each envelop. I also put a red heart inside each envelop that I had made for these letters.

When you opened the envelop out also spilled the small glitter charms all over the women (also little
hearts a stars) along with a BIG RED HEART WITH HER NAME ON IT. I had these BIG RED HEARTs made
special for these letters. The Letter and ENVELOP was also attractive and I had all of these made up for me. Attention to detail was not UNNOTICED by the Russian WOMEN.

Believe me NO ONE in 1996 was doing this and it was very unusual.

I just sent this ONE LETTER 50 days before I went over there and also gave the NAME and PHONE #
of my two translators that I had personally picked out the trip before (yes I went over on a RECON mission just to check out the situation) From my RECON Mission I stayed far away from the TOURs and
also the DATING SITEs but did befriend some of the owners I met over there.

When you say in a letter you are coming on THIS DATE and here is the name of my TRANSLATOR the WOMEN knows you are serious. And you are coming for 2 1/2 months gets their attention in a MAJOR
WAY. And the LETTER I Sent was very DIFFERENT AND PERSONAL.

Then when there (the second time) I started my three week PRE-SCREEN interview process. I interviewed 3-4 women a day and would DATE the one I was most interested in later. (usually picked from two days ago)

I lived over there for 2 1/2 months and interviewed over 120 women and narrowed it down to just 3 women. To get it down to my 3 prime candidates I did go on say 25 first dates.

This may not come across as very Romantic but I did this just like a business interview and at the time
just sold my second company and was very familiar with interviewing Key High Tech Engineers Not that dissimilar for interviewing for your soul-mate. I had the same exact questions I asked each women
and my translators wrote the answer down in English. I went over the answers later to further narrow
the field down.

And yes my question were very specific. I was hunting for a very WOMEN first and foremost with NO
PROBLEMs and yes you can screen for this.

I can say that I did not meet one Russian Women of the ones I interviewed that I had any concerns
about. At this time the FIELD was WIDE OPEN.

Now when I was over there on my RECON Mission I walked all over and met the owners of these
Dating Services plus went to the University's and met people that way as well. That allowed
me to come back and devise my method or process of meeting women. I also wanted a very educated
women and that is why I went to the University's.

If you are looking for a KIND and BEAUTIFUL WOMEN and SMART do not RUSH THIS PROCESS.

PLAN YOUR WORK AND WORK YOUR PLAN. However I would NOT HAVE A VERY DIFFERENT APPROACH with the NEW Internet AGE. I think meeting in PERSON is the ONLY WAY TO GO AND SKYPE MAYBE a
bad approach. I would have to think about this because for me it is clearly a NUMBERS GAME.

I had a BLAST over there and ALSO MET MANY MANY NICE RUSSIAN FOLKs as well as my Russian Wife.

However there are many NUANCES now because of the internet.

I do not like SKYPE or CELL PHONEs and if I had to do it all over again I would still use SNAIL MAIL
because it gives a personal touch that the internet lacks.

I had very very few cancellations by women on my first interview of them. And almost all called my translators back and wanted to know if I was going to contact them further.

Just some thoughts for the Board on what I did way back when in the time machine!!!

I also have some IDEAs on how NOT TO USE THE INTERNET and HOW TO USE IT EFFECTIVELY.

SKIDODDLE

[Chicagoguy]

Interesting !

[Daveman]

Yeah, you can write a snail mail letter, fly over and visit her, and watch her reaction when she receives and reads it to gauge whether she's into you! 


I dunno, skidoddle.  I kinda liked the ability to see and chat at skype prior to meeting.  At least then you both have a very good Idea that neither of you will be put off in the looks department and get a little more info into each other's personality, humor, etc.  If I had it to do over again though, I think I'd just go over without communicating to anyone and use the tranquilizer dart / burlap sack trick and be done with it.   


Interesting addition, ski.. thanks for sharing.

[CanadaMan]

I like your approach.
It's got that personal touch.

   x200   

[BillyB]

If you are looking for a KIND and BEAUTIFUL WOMEN and SMART do not RUSH THIS PROCESS.

Good advice. For those guys rushing, they are more likely to get involved with the more aggressive, man eating, insincere ladies, instead of the, stay at home, busy at work or school, family oriented ladies who have little time or experience in luring men and their wallets to their doom.


In the mid 2000's I sent out a dozen snail mails, put my email address in there, and got one snail mail and one email back. I also got some snail mail from agencies. I guess some of those women I wrote weren't women.

[skidoddle]

Hello Folks

What I am basically saying in my POST is I had a well thought out PLAN.

And I put it into process just like a business plan with ACTION ITEMs
TIME AGENDA and GOALs.

I met them all and more. The result is that I had 3 Prime Candidates within
my second trip and I wrote over 200 women and interviewed over 130 women.

I have talked to many men who have married Russians and Ukraine women and
not one has met this many in two trips over there.

On my second trip it took me 1 1/2 months to get the FIELD narrowed down.
And then another month to date the PRIME Candidates and the finalist
knew exactly what I was doing.

Skidoddle

[CanadaMan]

Hello Folks

What I am basically saying in my POST is I had a well thought out PLAN.

And I put it into process just like a business plan with ACTION ITEMs
TIME AGENDA and GOALs.

... On my second trip it took me 1 1/2 months to get the FIELD narrowed down.
And then another month to date the PRIME Candidates and the finalist
knew exactly what I was doing.

Skidoddle

In other words, you wrote the 'Pursuing FSUW 101' book 15 years before ML. 

[LAman]

In other words, you wrote the 'Pursuing FSUW 101' book 15 years before ML. 

Actually it was called Business 101, How to Start up a Business !!!

[Gator]

skidddodel,
 
I partly agree with what say.
 
You started in 1996.  I had traveled to Moscow in 1986 to visit some friends with the Dutch embassy; however, my romantic trips did not commence until 2002. 
 
In 2002 I sent introductory letters to many RW.  This consisted of first emailing my personal letter to a bridal agency in her city.  The agency printed the letter and mailed it to her via the FSU  postal system.  It took about 2-4 days for a woman to receive my letter (not translated and not edited). 
 
In 2002 many RW had access to computers at work but not at home.   Printing was expensive to them, so young RW read letters from men quickly.  And many were quick with the "DELETE" button.  A number of women in 2002 told me that they appreciated receiving a hard copy that they could hold in their hands and read at home when relaxed and having tea.  I believe this made for a better connection of two strangers.   I received a favorable response from about 67% of the women I wrote. 
 
Then came the phone calls.  The connection was bad and sometimes did not go through. Sometimes it was so frustrating to call the provinces.
 
That classic style has disappeared with Skype.   Skype certainly provides far more input in a much shorter time.   The difference is like going from radio to TV.  However, there was something romantic about  snail mail encounters.   
 

[mendeleyev]

Gator, my first Thanksgiving in Russia was during that general time period and a friend at the Netherlands Embassy invited me to his family's home so that I wouldn't have to spend the day alone in a country that didn't celebrate that particular holiday.

Most of us wouldn't associate the Dutch with Thanksgiving but the Pilgrims generally associated with that meal had landed in the Dutch city of Leiden where they stayed several years before continuing on the the Americas. Today the American Pilgrim museum is located in Leiden and the custom of an autumn Thanksgiving meal and celebration can be found in that region.

[Gator]

Gator, my first Thanksgiving in Russia was during that general time period and a friend at the Netherlands Embassy invited me to his family's home so that I wouldn't have to spend the day alone in a country that didn't celebrate that particular holiday.

Most of us wouldn't associate the Dutch with Thanksgiving but the Pilgrims generally associated with that meal had landed in the Dutch city of Leiden where they stayed several years before continuing on the the Americas. Today the American Pilgrim museum is located in Leiden and the custom of an autumn Thanksgiving meal and celebration can be found in that region.

IMO of all Euro countries the Dutch are the second closest aligned with America.  Why?  Business and trade over 250 years.
 
Maybe you met my friends Jelle and Tineke.   He was the agricultural attaché, endeavoring to sell Dutch products to the CCCP.   CCCP wanted butter yet had low cash reserves, so they could only  barter, not pay, e. g. cement for butter.
 
Upon departing I had made the mistake of not registering my visa nor staying in a hotel (where they could watch me).  You can imagine the intense interrogation when I was escorted into a separate room at the airport.  Three of them - one in military uniform complete with red epaulets and scrambled eggs, one burly guy in leather jacket, and one handsome man in a 3-piece suit speaking with an Oxford accent (plus an armed guard).  It took a while for them to realize I was too stupid to be CIA.
 
Fifteen years later I went to Russia.  Travel and life in Russia was so different from the CCCP.  The people seemed the same.

[skidoddle]

Hello All

Yes I am a successful business man and approached this whole process like a business plan complete
with action items and timelines.

It is my opinion but if you are seeking a very specific women which I was then it is a numbers game
or a process where you will have to interview many many candidates. My criteria were

1. Highly educated (smart with science background in Unversity)
2. No behavioral problems therefore screened for>
3. No divorces in family (co-cohesive and intact family)
4. No deviant behavior with men (who she last dated)
5. No psychological problems (spend some time with her it will quickly arise)
6. No substance abuse (easy)
7. No health problems (physically in very good shape- can see directly)
8. Nice tender women> that takes a few dates!!

You can screen for all the above in a 1 1/2 first interview.

Also on my first date I would take all the women to the local lake> where the locals hung out
yes there always is one, find it and get the BATHING SUIT THING GOING!!!! See if she is in SHAPE
and can swim which MOST RUSSIAN WOMEN CANNOT...... but give it a go!!

SKIDODDLE

[CanadaMan]

Also on my first date I would take all the women to the local lake> where the locals hung out
yes there always is one, find it and get the BATHING SUIT THING GOING!!!! See if she is in SHAPE
and can swim which MOST RUSSIAN WOMEN CANNOT...... but give it a go!!

SKIDODDLE

I assume 'the local lake' was a metaphor for 'the local bar'?
Unless you always visited women in the summer in cities that had lakes?

[Gator]

 My criteria were

1. Highly educated (smart with science background in Unversity)
2. No behavioral problems therefore screened for>
3. No divorces in family (co-cohesive and intact family)
4. No deviant behavior with men (who she last dated)
5. No psychological problems (spend some time with her it will quickly arise)
6. No substance abuse (easy)
7. No health problems (physically in very good shape- can see directly)
8. Nice tender women> that takes a few dates!!

You can screen for all the above in a 1 1/2 first interview.

I married a woman with clinical depression.  She did not know it.  It took 15 years  with two sons before we started seeing psychiatrists.  Yet you can determine this and some other obscure if not concealed information in an interview?  I guess the swim in the lake was an euphemism  for waterboarding.   
 
BTW, rather than interviews, I preferred auditions.   

[Daveman]

Hello All

Yes I am a successful business man and approached this whole process like a business plan complete
with action items and timelines.

It is said that people expend more thought and energy on buying a new car than in choosing a life partner. 

It is my opinion but if you are seeking a very specific women which I was then it is a numbers game
or a process where you will have to interview many many candidates.

Absolutely it's a numbers game unless one is extremely fortunate or willing to settle. And the interviewees should be 'interviewing' the interviewer as well.

My criteria were

1. Highly educated (smart with science background in Unversity)
"Unversity".. it that a Soviet de-education process?


2. No behavioral problems therefore screened for>
um, we are speaking about women, yes? 

3. No divorces in family (co-cohesive and intact family)
sometimes this creates the foundation for relationship problems in the future as families may remain together but be neither healthily co-cohesive nor emotionally intact.

4. No deviant behavior with men (who she last dated)
deviant behavior can be quite fun.
 
5. No psychological problems (spend some time with her it will quickly arise)
Again, you are interested in women, right??

6. No substance abuse (easy)
Agreed. I find it highly abusive when they don't share!  

7. No health problems (physically in very good shape- can see directly)
And don't forget the dental exam!  

8. Nice tender women> that takes a few dates!!
Agree, tender, but not overly "clingy"


You can screen for all the above in a 1 1/2 first interview.
All but #8, as you stated.

Also on my first date I would take all the women to the local lake> where the locals hung out
yes there always is one, find it and get the BATHING SUIT THING GOING!!!! See if she is in SHAPE
and can swim which MOST RUSSIAN WOMEN CANNOT...... but give it a go!!

SKIDODDLE

It's much easier to get'em with the tranq dart, then take a peek without their knowledge.    [/quote]

[GQBlues]

...I met them all and more. The result is that I had 3 Prime Candidates within my second trip and I wrote over 200 women and interviewed over 130 women...

Reminds me of the scene in the move '2 Brothers and a Bride' where he was interviewing a line of potential brides and they were lined up on the hallways waiting.


LOL. So much for pragmatism.

[mendeleyev]

MOST RUSSIAN WOMEN CANNOT

Cannot swim? Are you sure?

I've not seen any scientific studies on this topic and perhaps my personal experience is limited. At the family dacha on the river in Volgograd I've yet to meet a RW who didn't know how to swim. With relatives in the Rostov and Shakhty area I've spent time on the river and lots of RW swim there, and our home just outside Moscow is in a community built around a lake and while I've not bothered to keep a running tally, I've noticed more RW in the water than out of it at times.

Without being argumentative, I'm certain that there are lots of RW who can't swim but based on experience that statement seems overly broad.

[Faux Pas]

Hello All

Yes I am a successful business man and approached this whole process like a business plan complete
with action items and timelines.

It is my opinion but if you are seeking a very specific women which I was then it is a numbers game
or a process where you will have to interview many many candidates. My criteria were

1. Highly educated (smart with science background in Unversity)
2. No behavioral problems therefore screened for>
3. No divorces in family (co-cohesive and intact family)
4. No deviant behavior with men (who she last dated)
5. No psychological problems (spend some time with her it will quickly arise)
6. No substance abuse (easy)
7. No health problems (physically in very good shape- can see directly)
8. Nice tender women> that takes a few dates!!

You can screen for all the above in a 1 1/2 first interview.

Also on my first date I would take all the women to the local lake> where the locals hung out
yes there always is one, find it and get the BATHING SUIT THING GOING!!!! See if she is in SHAPE
and can swim which MOST RUSSIAN WOMEN CANNOT...... but give it a go!!

SKIDODDLE

skidoddle, when was your last visit to Russia? Your methods are well (by far) outdated and at the very least, as even you mentioned "business like". Did you eventually settle on a woman to make a deal with, and if so, what's the status of that woman now?

Skype is a God send according to many of the newer chaps in the pursuit and from what I know, I tend to agree with them. I never used Skype with my wife until after my 3rd trip to Russia. It was relatively new at the time and connections not as good as they are now but, I found Skype then to be a tremendous help. It also was/is very helpful for my wife after she arrived in the US to keep in touch with her family and friends which, she still does today.

On one hand you sound quite knowledgeable yet, on the other, your info and advice isn't even close to what many/most on these boards would would advise. Are you trolling, game playing or are you here to actually help others with what worked for you?

[Turboguy]

Some things never change and many things do.  I was engaged in my search during that time and I have to say that Skidoddle was much more organized and systematic than I could have ever hoped to be then.


I found meeting RW in that era quite difficult.  As he said there really was no internet and snail mail took about 4-5 weeks for a round trip.  I made my first trip in 1995 and made two trips in 2006. 


I concluded my search about the time Skype became usable and I do think that is a real plus for the guys who are still looking.  I made a number of trips to meet women I hardly knew that ended up with not much in the way of a connection.  I have no doubts Skype could have saved me a lot of time and effort.


I have enjoyed the story of his search back then even though it was far different than my experiences.

[GQBlues]

Actually, in their last postings (not too long ago), both MarkInTexas and Doug Salem (RIP) still advocated snail mail, IINM.

[Faux Pas]

With the advent of Skype, internet and frequency and use of email, promoting snail mail is quite archaic IMHO. Why wait weeks or months when connect and visuals can be almost immediate?

In 1996 few if any FSUW has a computer or net access so snail mail was near mandatory. Now, that's Noah's ark chit 

[ML]

All of the FSUW I spent time with were swimmers; and they seemed to really enjoy it and look forward to it.

But, interestingly, all of them did the same type of swim which was a dog paddle combined with good, strong scissor action of the legs.  Faces never went into  the water.

Never saw a one of them do the freestyle hand over hand that involves putting the face in the water and breathing between strokes.

I had to constantly keep harping at them not to go too far out, because I am not a good enough swimmer to come to the rescue, if needed.

With the dog paddle, some purists may contend they aren't really swimming . . . but they can move quite well through the water, and for extended time periods.

[Faux Pas]

All of the FSUW I spent time with were swimmers; and they seemed to really enjoy it and look forward to it.

But, interestingly, all of them did the same type of swim which was a dog paddle combined with good, strong scissor action of the legs.  Faces never went into  the water.

Never saw a one of them do the freestyle hand over hand that involves putting the face in the water and breathing between strokes.

I had to constantly keep harping at them not to go too far out, because I am not a good enough swimmer to come to the rescue, if needed.

With the dog paddle, some purists may contend they aren't really swimming . . . but they can move quite well through the water, and for extended time periods.

So much for stereo types. My wife is a better swimmer than I am and, I ain't bad. She says she's loved to swim since she was a little girl. She freestyles, backstrokes and breaststrokes with ease and is quite good. She looks like she's had formal training but she denies it FWIW.

Her first time in the ocean was on our honeymoon. She took right to it without a thought despite a fairly active rip tide. She scared me yet, she never gave it a thought and she handled it quite well

[skidoddle]

Since I am an engineer and really a scientist I can only vouch for the data set that I gathered while
at various WATER HOLEs OPPPS Lakes in Russian> At these grand facilities (lakes) I scientifically observed hundreds (really thousands) of Russians swimming (mainly women) daily.

From these scientific observations it became apparent that the DOG PADDLE or some type of Russian
Variation of the "DOG PADDLE" was being used by the Russian Women as swimming activity.

I did conduct my "Trial" Observation over a two month time frame and I believe my data set reached into the thousands. Of course maybe my eyes did travel to other scenery during my scientific Russian Lake
observations. 

Not once did I see an Russian Women who actually swam. I am now convinced that a swimming
Russian women is a rare species indeed. 

However a Russian women in a bikini now that is alot more interesting 

So most of my time was spent in Russia, in the summer near the Lakes and DACHA's that is really
my main point and a fine place to meet a nice Russian Women. (who probably cannot swim!!)

SKIDODDLE

[Boethius]

skidoddle, when was your last visit to Russia? Your methods are well (by far) outdated and at the very least, as even you mentioned "business like". Did you eventually settle on a woman to make a deal with, and if so, what's the status of that woman now?

Skype is a God send according to many of the newer chaps in the pursuit and from what I know, I tend to agree with them. I never used Skype with my wife until after my 3rd trip to Russia. It was relatively new at the time and connections not as good as they are now but, I found Skype then to be a tremendous help. It also was/is very helpful for my wife after she arrived in the US to keep in touch with her family and friends which, she still does today.

On one hand you sound quite knowledgeable yet, on the other, your info and advice isn't even close to what many/most on these boards would would advise. Are you trolling, game playing or are you here to actually help others with what worked for you?

Another factor to consider is that in 1996, Russia was just starting to come out of a deep economic depression as a result of "shock therapy".   Unlike now, many then were desperate to leave.

I am not certain women in today's Russia would be willing to be interviewed.