Women with Children - more strongly worded advice

[Muzh]

Seriously, if anyone of you guys had a sister who is a stripper and a drug abuser, how much would you encourage her interaction with your young wife and your child? How much would you encourage her helping find your wife the job in a strip club?

First of all, if I had a sister she would never be a stripper nor a drug abuser. My brothers and I would make sure of that.
 
Now, and this is just me, I would work 3 or 4 jobs at a time BEFORE I would even let my wife contemplate the idea of becoming a stripper. I would be a man, not a pimp.

[Southpaw1982]

Your stories become more and more extreme.  I just know you two were terrible for each other.  It is obvious in this thread.


If Jmana was this bad, I find it terrible that you allowed him full custody of your only child...  or was their a reason the court gave him custody?

I had no home! He fed up my credit and I could not put my son through struggles. Best I could do is be around as much as I could.

[Muzh]

A pimp... LOL

You are a smart cookie. 

[Southpaw1982]

Oh god, now I raped you and sabotaged your birth control??  WTF is wrong with you?  You are more insane than I ever gave you credit for.

Don't remind me...It is f ing gross 

[jmana]

First of all, if I had a sister she would never be a stripper nor a drug abuser. My brothers and I would make sure of that.
 
Now, and this is just me, I would work 3 or 4 jobs at a time BEFORE I would even let my wife contemplate the idea of becoming a stripper. I would be a man, not a pimp.

I had no idea my sister did that, she told me after she had already quit.  And it didn't matter how many jobs I worked, she still would have done it because she was greedy and wanted the easy $$$. 

[jmana]

Don't remind me...It is f ing gross 

You're gross, in more ways than one. 

[Muzh]

Mies,

I don't agree with your #7.  Collecting child support was not jmana's reason for agreeing to primary custody.  Hopefully it was because he loved his son and realized than Southpaw did not have the time to be a full-time mother while getting an education.
 

First,
 
 
 
Am I missing something or are you being facetious?
 
The man makes his wife become a stripper while he sits on his ass watching porn. And now the kid watches porn.
 
I guess a family that jack off together stays together, eh? Whole lotta love.
 

Southpaw's support is welcomed but is only a small part of the costs in raising the son.

And we know this how?
 
 
 

[Southpaw1982]

I had no idea my sister did that, she told me after she had already quit.  And it didn't matter how many jobs I worked, she still would have done it because she was greedy and wanted the easy $$$.

Easy money lol...Do I need to post that letter you wrote to your friend Shawna on my Space about willing to marry a geriatric lady and kiss her old butt as long as she is rich to support you? I have a screen shot of that too...It says something about you growing mushrooms to hallucinate in your garage to make you feel better too... Something like that... !lol 

[LiveFromUkraine]

I had no home! He fed up my credit and I could not put my son through struggles. Best I could do is be around as much as I could.

Ok, let me get this straight, the courts wouldn't give you full custody because you had no home? 


That is surprising because there are a lot of men who end up having to move out of their house just because the courts wanted the child to be raised in the family home with the mother.

[Muzh]

I'm surprised you guys are taking Southpaw's word.  Jmana may be a cheap man, and have a good deal of problems that should be fixed, but I don't see how you can take the extreme posts of Southpaws as being anymore serious as jmana's posts.



It's unfortunate but these people have shown on this board that they are not fit parents.

And I suppose you would have no problems encouraging your wife to become a stripper, eh?

[LiveFromUkraine]

And I suppose you would have no problems encouraging your wife to become a stripper, eh?

Muzh, buddy, I would not want my wife to be a stripper.  From my understanding, most strippers are messed up in the head.


Since I answered your question, now I have one for you.  If your wife decided she wanted to be a stripper, how would you stop her?  Granted, stopping her would be considered abusive in many circles because you're trying to control her and her happiness.

[GQBlues]

I'm surprised you guys are taking Southpaw's word.  Jmana may be a cheap man, and have a good deal of problems that should be fixed, but I don't see how you can take the extreme posts of Southpaws as being anymore serious as jmana's posts....

I'm not *solely* taking SP's posts to form my opinion about the guy. jmana's posts regarding his behavior and attitude with his new imported wife way prior to SP's appearance had already given me much more than a cause to pause about him. The appearance of SP into this discussion and offering the other side of the story only validated those opinions.

Yeah...smoking pot is not abuse. Yes, porn-addiction is not abuse. But maybe it's just me, the by-products of those combined actions suggest to me that very little consideration is being given into the marriage at a time where those actions are likely the very last thing anyone can do, or should do, as a responsible, considerate partner within a marriage.

She got pregnant in their honeymoon. Within the year of marriage they had a child. Now visualize the type of dude this guy is while the child was already living its early years.

SP was 18. Got pregnant on her arrival. Had a kid before 20. No education, no career in the US, locked in a marriage with a guy who is now working part-time because his hours were cut. Instead of finding ways to take on other work somewhere doing anything, he instead sat at home and immersed himself watching  porn while his wife decides to strip to make money and pay the bills.

So no, I'm not taking her word about anything that I can't form or determine on my own.

...It's unfortunate but these people have shown on this board that they are not fit parents....

Yes.  At least one of them educated herself and had now made a difference in her life and is making amends and assist for the security and expenses of her (their) child.

The other goes off and marries a stranger with a child and had already shown disregard to their cause to benefit himself before they even stepped foot in this country.

[Southpaw1982]

You're gross, in more ways than one.

So, what was the problem with me leaving then, Brad Pitt? LOL

[LiveFromUkraine]

Yes.  At least one of them educated herself and had now made a difference in her life and is making amends and assist for the security and expenses of her (their) child.

The other goes off and marries a stranger with a child and had already shown disregard to their cause to benefit himself.

haha  She became a stripper, ended up married 3 times and she even said her second marriage was to a guy who abused pot and alcohol while he gambled. 

I believe people can change and make themselves better.  I don't see that from her postings though.

Judging from what she said of her family, back home, her problems started way before she met jmana.

[jmana]

First,
 
 
 
Am I missing something or are you being facetious?
 
The man makes his wife become a stripper while he sits on his ass watching porn. And now the kid watches porn.
 
I guess a family that jack off together stays together, eh? Whole lotta love.
 
 
And we know this how?

Oh yes, I MADE her be a stripper, and I just sat on my ass and watched porn.   God you people are so stupid and apparently can't read.  Last time, now class please put your pencils down and pay attention.  I never MADE or even encouraged her to strip.  I never sat on my ass and watched porn, yeah I looked at a few sites every now and then, as I'm sure you do too.  And NO, my son does not watch porn.  The only time he watched porn was at his mother's house, and I have SCREEN SHOTS and PRINTOUTS of his undeleted history (because she deleted his history to try to cover up the fact that he only watched it at her place) proving this. 

[Southpaw1982]

Ok, let me get this straight, the courts wouldn't give you full custody because you had no home? 


That is surprising because there are a lot of men who end up having to move out of their house just because the courts wanted the child to be raised in the family home with the mother.

No, I just left. One of us had to. I wanted our kid to have the same home, but he would not leave and he also quit his job to avoid obligations. Did I mention he pushed me in front of our son that night? I went to friends house for a night, but he had already posted on craigslist "dinner anyone??"...So, I definitely did not want to go back there after I saw him looking for a date already... ( I have an copy of that,  as well)

[Muzh]

Finally, someone with a friggen brain.  You hit the nail on the head.  She's always taken the easy way out.  Stipping was easier than working.  Going to a college that cost $20k a year, but would give anyone who paid a worthless degree, was easier than going to an actual college.  Marrying someone who owns the business you work for is easier than trying to get a job in what you went to school for.  Yep, there are plenty of woman that work more than one job (none of them involve taking their clothes off), go to a real college full time, AND raise a kid on their own.

You and livefromukraine want to swap porn sites? 

[Muzh]

I totally agree with everything you said. I would add that Jmana is guilty of not being too smart when it comes to choosing women. SP seems like a real nutjob to me and Alina is another strange one. Jmana, I believe FSU women are not for you.....

Wanna join the porn crowd?

[jmana]

Muzh, buddy, I would not want my wife to be a stripper.  From my understanding, most strippers are messed up in the head.


Since I answered your question, now I have one for you.  If your wife decided she wanted to be a stripper, how would you stop her?  Granted, stopping her would be considered abusive in many circles because you're trying to control her and her happiness.

Exactly!  If I told her she couldn't do it, I was being controlling.  So I thought the best thing was to let her go, figure out on her own that it wasn't what she wanted to do, and all would be fine.  Little did I know at the time how much she loved the color green. 

[GQBlues]

haha  She became a stripper, ended up married 3 times and she even said her second marriage was to a guy who abused pot and alcohol while he gambled....

22 with no relatives or support system, in a different country, but managed to get her education and is now reaping those benefits - yet somehow you found that laughable?

Do you smoke pot and watch porn, too?

...Judging from what she said of her family, back home, he problems started way before she met jmana.

Yeah, too bad. No one is responsible for the household they are born into. One can either pack along that black cloud with them for the rest of their lives - OR - one can face down every challenges they face and try to make a difference in their lives EVEN IF someone laughs off their effort, decisions, and experiences to get there.

[LiveFromUkraine]

You and livefromukraine want to swap porn sites? 

haha, well, since Southpaw didn't mention gay porn, I guess you got left out. 

[GQBlues]

Exactly!  If I told her she couldn't do it, I was being controlling.  So I thought the best thing was to let her go, figure out on her own that it wasn't what she wanted to do, and all would be fine.  Little did I know at the time how much she loved the color green.

BS!

You had a family to support and a new child to raise. Instead of supplementing your income like a responsible adult, you instead sat and watched kiddy porn while your wife strip to make the money you couldn't.

Maybe these guys here believe your sorry story, but not all of us.

You were jacking off watching porn while other guys were jacking off watching your wife because you're too immersed in yourself to see things like a normal responsible man who decided to take on another as a wife.

[LiveFromUkraine]

22 with no relatives or support system, in a different country, but managed to get her education and is now reaping those benefits - yet somehow you found that laughable?

There is a support system for abused women while men have no such support system.  The support system I speak of would have been a lot better than stripping.

Do you smoke pot and watch porn, too?

Typical GQ, if someone doesn't agree make it personal.  Sorry son, I am not an old man so your usual schtick doesn't work.

Yeah, too bad. No one is responsible for the household they are born into. One can either pack along that black cloud with them for the rest of their lives - OR - one can face down every challenges they face and try to make a difference in their lives EVEN IF someone laughs off their effort, decisions, and experiences to get there.

White knight to the rescue man.  This has the makings of a movie.

[jmana]

I'm not *solely* taking SP's posts to form my opinion about the guy. jmana's posts regarding his behavior and attitude with his new imported wife way prior to SP's appearance had already given me much more than a cause to pause about him. The appearance of SP into this discussion and offering the other side of the story only validated those opinions.

Yeah...smoking pot is not abuse. Yes, porn-addiction is not abuse. But maybe it's just me, the by-products of those combined actions suggest to me that very little consideration is being given into the marriage at a time where those actions are likely the very last thing anyone can do, or should do, as a responsible, considerate partner within a marriage.

She got pregnant in their honeymoon. Within the year of marriage they had a child. Now visualize the type of dude this guy is while the child was already living its early years.

SP was 18. Got pregnant on her arrival. Had a kid before 20. No education, no career in the US, locked in a marriage with a guy who is now working part-time because his hours were cut. Instead of finding ways to take on other work somewhere doing anything, he instead sat at home and immersed himself watching  porn while his wife decides to strip to make money and pay the bills.

So no, I'm not taking her word about anything that I can't form or determine on my own.


Yes.  At least one of them educated herself and had now made a difference in her life and is making amends and assist for the security and expenses of her (their) child.

The other goes off and marries a stranger with a child and had already shown disregard to their cause to benefit himself before they even stepped foot in this country.

First of all, I never smoked pot when I was married.  Second of all, my hours didn't get cut until about 3 years into it, and I immediately started my own business, and built a studio for her to start her own business (which she pissed away), so no I didn't sit on my ass and watch porn.  Can we please get off this porn discussion?  Seriously, it's stupid.  Every guy watches porn.  Does that make every guy a porn addict?  No.  I probably watched way less than most guys (from what I gather from hearing other guys talk about porn), and I know for a fact I watch less now because I rarely ever have the urge to look at that.  So yeah, lets drop that whole discussion because she's just using it to stir up crap.

[Southpaw1982]

haha  She became a stripper, ended up married 3 times and she even said her second marriage was to a guy who abused pot and alcohol while he gambled. 

I believe people can change and make themselves better.  I don't see that from her postings though.

Judging from what she said of her family, back home, her problems started way before she met jmana.

I don't work as a "stripper "anymore. I had no idea what it was until we found out about his sister. I only worked there when I was married to jmana  part time and only when I had a huge medical bill in 2008 due to my ectopic pregnancy with the second husband. Nobody gave a crap about my problems, but I had to take care of my business and focused on my goals despite everything else.

I don't have those problems anymore. I am just pointing out the facts. I don't have any addictions and never did drugs, never been to jail and did not grow up in the trailer park. So f what u think, dear. Your opinion mean 0 to me. Go defend that freak all you want, maybe he will engage you in the gang-bang with Alina as he tried to do that while I was married to him.