Women with Children - more strongly worded advice

[Southpaw1982]

No, not that. He doesn't have to jump on any wagon.
 
I was referring to how to stop my wife from being a stripper and other stuff that I would have to force my will on her.

Like I said, it is OK for his sister to be a stripper, but it is not OK for me  ( I did not even do it for that long, jeez) ...Besides, If working as a dancer is so terrible and bad, they need to make it illegal. There is a reason why kiddie porn is illegal, HSI, FBI  and ICE are very serious about exploiting women and children...Just saying. 

[Southpaw1982]

Bunch of judges...it was one judge, and she told you to take responsibility for your son and quit whining.  Yeah, all I did was sit and jack off, yep that's all I did

We never had a custody hearing. I mean people "judges"  like fake friends...Go away already!

[Southpaw1982]

Right there is an example of an emotionally charged distortion.  Neither I, nor anyone else, has stated Jmana's an angel. Quite the opposite actually. 

Neither I, nor anyone else, has stated you are evil.

Dave,
I assure you, there is 0 emotion in this. I am being sarcastic with these two extremes. My only concern is my son surrounded by porn freaks. That is all.

[jmana]

Like I said, it is OK for his sister to be a stripper, but it is not OK for me  ( I did not even do it for that long, jeez) ...Besides, If working as a dancer is so terrible and bad, they need to make it illegal. There is a reason why kiddie porn is illegal, HSI, FBI  and ICE are very serious about exploiting women and children...Just saying. 

You did it there for 2 years, and I'll assume you did it here for at least a year.  That's 3 years total.  Yeah, that's only a tenth of your life spent wrapped around a pole naked, not long at all    And why compare it to kiddie porn?  2 different things entirely.  You might as well compare it to murder, same difference. 

[mies]

I have the feeling she was a 'minimum wage' type gal.

jmana told us few pages ago that she was a talented violinist.

Although violinists (except for the top musicians) do not generally make much money, there is a HUGE difference between the american (or russian) minimum wage type gal, and a talented violinist.

[jmana]

Dave,
I assure you, there is 0 emotion in this. I am being sarcastic with these two extremes. My only concern is my son surrounded by porn freaks. That is all.

You sure are preoccupied with porn.  Do you think about anything else??

[LiveFromUkraine]

Dave,
I assure you, there is 0 emotion in this. I am being sarcastic with these two extremes. My only concern is my son surrounded by porn freaks. That is all.

I suggest you go back to the courts and give them your evidence.   As far as I know, there is nothing stopping you from taking matters into your own hands right now regardless if there was a custody case or not.



You should be taking action if your child's safety is at risk.

[Muzh]

Hell, I don't believe her story either.  Nor do I believe Jmana.  I'm sure there are fragments of truth/reality blended with exaggerations, imagination stretches, or outright deception as is usually the case in situations such as these.  Every continued aspect of this saga dives further into the realm of a Jerry Springer trailer trash bonanza with both of them pulling new and improved, not to mention Reality TV Ready, accusations and denials to toss into the mix.

They're both a little off.  They're both "victims" as they tell it.  Both had an opportunity to take the higher road in this thread and neither did.  Everything is the other's fault.  Both have shown their decision making process to be flawed.  Both have shown a skirting of responsibility and denial of any "blame" - except, of course, for making the mistake of marrying the other.

It seems, from their own words in this exchange, that both were neither mature enough nor ready for the responsibilities of marriage.  Both needed/need to work on improving themselves and that begins with recognizing and taking responsibility for the consequences of their own bad decisions and actions.  Neither appear willing to do that because - "It wasn't me, it was HER"; "NO it wasn't me, it was HIM".

Actually, I don't think they are "victims" at all. I also do believe that southpaw poo-pooed the term and asked to be known as a fighter and survivor. Not close to being a victim.
 
I think that jmana is a sore excuse of a man. I mean, seriously. Gets "bored" with a virtual teenager and turns to porn to get off. UGH! Now, them his OWN words.
 
Now, if I remember correctly, she said from the very beginning that she was way over this and just wanted to make a simple correction of what he said. Then Billy "taunted" her as to be a man about it and she did. Now she is a drug dealing strip-tease scum that should have a restraining order from her son. (I know, hyperbolic but just for sound effects)
 
I don't see where BOTH are neither mature enough nor ready for the responsibilities of marriage at all. Jmana definitely fits that criteria and he is older than her. However, she seems to be in a steady relationship, knows what she wants and has a head on her shoulder regarding her future. Can you HONESTLY say the same for him?
 
Doubt it.
 
And where do you get both are in cruising in a river boat in Egypt? Seriously? Read it again and tell me where she is in denial.
 
Notice that because the woman didn't shut up and knew her place, the swarm fell on her.
 
Personally, I recognize GQ's MOBer definition as clearly plastered all over these pages.
 
 

[Southpaw1982]

You sure are preoccupied with porn.  Do you think about anything else??

Is there anything else I need to worry about? Should I send investigators?

[jmana]

I suggest you go back to the courts and give them your evidence.   As far as I know, there is nothing stopping you from taking matters into your own hands right now regardless if there was a custody case or not.



You should be taking action if your child's safety is at risk.

She already tried, they came to the house and there was nothing to be found.  They realized what kind of nutjob I was dealing with really quickly.  Especially considering the lady was black, and all I had to do was whip out emails where she is calling people ni__ers and making fun of every race but her own.  Didn't exactly go over well if you know what I mean

[BillyB]

I am more about my son's mental health, safety and development. I am worried jmana will sexually exploit him to gain money.

Southpaw, earlier I asked you if jmana was safe to be around kids and under a calmer circumstances, you told me he was. Now that you're angry, you change your story.


If I were a judge, I wouldn't care about the "he said, she said" going on between you two in this thread. Some people do care and have chosen sides. I only care about truth and you've changed your story with the above quote and you weren't truthful when you said "its water under the bridge" either.


If you ever get into a custody battle with jmana and tell the judge he's not safe to be around kids to get your way, he can print the words you've written these past days and show the judge you are capable of lying. The judge will then dismiss most, if not everything you claim jmana is.


I'm not into equal rights relationships. I do believe people are accountable for their actions but jmana gets most the blame for the family falling apart. He's supposed to be the man of the house and guide the family in the right direction. If my wife had thoughts of working a low class job during desperate times, I would discourage her and work harder if necessary. If she insists working that job anyway, I would divorce her. Jmana should've done more to stop you even if he had threatened the marriage. Because you did work there, he had some level of acceptance of your employment as a stripper. Jmana should've done more to guide you but you had a choice too even if it were to accept a lower paying but more respectable job.


My wife was a virgin like you when I married her. Unlike you, she had more choices in life on who she wanted to marry. She would never think about letting another man touch her because her body is for her husband. It's easy for me to believe what she said because it was true, she didn't allow any man to touch her body before marriage. Although you didn't have a choice in who you wanted to marry, you did have say on who touches your body. Some of these men frequenting the strip club are simply lonely and others are morally bankrupt in the way you've criticized jmana for being. Making good money tends to hide all the ugliness but you've allowed yourself to be surrounded by those men. It's one thing if you tried it and quit soon after but if you worked this job for more than a few days, you have some level of acceptance of surrounding yourself with poor quality men.


I don't go to strip clubs but in my days in the Army and working currently in construction, I know guys who do go there so I've heard stories. All the girls say their working their way through college and the guys will lie too to get into their pants. Guys sit there and watch the ladies on stage dance nude and afterward they come down and ask guys if they want to go to the back room for a private table dance. When a guy agrees to pay for this service, the stripper not only rubs her body on him while dancing, she allows the man to touch her boobs and pussy. It's against the law in my state to touch a stripper but the stripper encourages this behavior to get repeat business.


What we've witness in this thread has all the makings for a great Jerry Springer episode. You and jmana didn't start well in this thread but you both could've improved and moved on. You both could've showed maturity and gained our respect. Instead, you both at various times escalated the fight. Many people have chosen sides just as they do when they watch Jerry Springer, but deep down their laughing at the life you've led and the life you're leading. Don't make the mistake and think anybody who has given you support is your friend.


The best thing one of you can do know is call the other and apologize and take the first step to improving relations. The accusations and disclosures you're both making are done for selfish reasons and accomplishes nothing in the way of good. If you both can talk this way in front of strangers, I know you can talk this way in front of your son. Your son doesn't need to know jmana's past bad habits and he doesn't need to know that you've worked as a stripper. All he needs to know is that his parents are growing in the right direction and setting good examples where he can be proud of them. Grow up so your son can grow up.

[Muzh]

What he writes on the first 10 pages of this thread is OK for a 38yo man who never lived with children. But a 38yo who has a 12yo BOY?

Watching PORN?
 
Why is everybody ignoring this??

[jmana]

Watching PORN?
 
Why is everybody ignoring this??

What is up with all you people being obsessed with porn?!?!?  Are you seriously trying to tell me none of you have ever looked at it?  If so, well congratulations!!  I applaud you!  As for me, YES I have looked at it, NO I am not addicted to it.  NO my son doesn't look at it in MY home.  So can we please get off this topic?  It's annoying.

[Southpaw1982]

Southpaw, earlier I asked you if jmana was safe to be around kids and under a calmer circumstances, you told me he was. Now that you're angry, you change your story.


If I were a judge, I wouldn't care about the "he said, she said" going on between you two in this thread. Some people do care and have chosen sides. I only care about truth and you've changed your story with the above quote and you weren't truthful when you said "its water under the bridge" either.


If you ever get into a custody battle with jmana and tell the judge he's not safe to be around kids to get your way, he can print the words you've written these past days and show the judge you are capable of lying. The judge will then dismiss most, if not everything you claim jmana is.


I'm not into equal rights relationships. I do believe people are accountable for their actions but jmana gets most the blame for the family falling apart. He's supposed to be the man of the house and guide the family in the right direction. If my wife had thoughts of working a low class job during desperate times, I would discourage her and work harder if necessary. If she insists working that job anyway, I would divorce her. Jmana should've done more to stop you even if he had threatened the marriage. Because you did work there, he had some level of acceptance of your employment as a stripper. Jmana should've done more to guide you but you had a choice too even if it were to accept a lower paying but more respectable job.


My wife was a virgin like you when I married her. Unlike you, she had more choices in life on who she wanted to marry. She would never think about letting another man touch her because her body is for her husband. It's easy for me to believe what she said because it was true, she didn't allow any man to touch her body before marriage. Although you didn't have a choice in who you wanted to marry, you did have say on who touches your body. Some of these men frequenting the strip club are simply lonely and others are morally bankrupt in the way you've criticized jmana for being. Making good money tends to hide all the ugliness but you've allowed yourself to be surrounded by those men. It's one thing if you tried it and quit soon after but if you worked this job for more than a few days, you have some level of acceptance of surrounding yourself with poor quality men.


I don't go to strip clubs but in my days in the Army and working currently in construction, I know guys who do go there so I've heard stories. All the girls say their working their way through college and the guys will lie too to get into their pants. Guys sit there and watch the ladies on stage dance nude and afterward they come down and ask guys if they want to go to the back room for a private table dance. When a guy agrees to pay for this service, the stripper not only rubs her body on him while dancing, she allows the man to touch her boobs and pussy. It's against the law in my state to touch a stripper but the stripper encourages this behavior to get repeat business.


What we've witness in this thread has all the makings for a great Jerry Springer episode. You and jmana didn't start well in this thread but you both could've improved and moved on. You both could've showed maturity and gained our respect. Instead, you both at various times escalated the fight. Many people have chosen sides just as they do when they watch Jerry Springer, but deep down their laughing at the life you've led and the life you're leading. Don't make the mistake and think anybody who has given you support is your friend.


The best thing one of you can do know is call the other and apologize and take the first step to improving relations. The accusations and disclosures you're both making are done for selfish reasons and accomplishes nothing in the way of good. If you both can talk this way in front of strangers, I know you can talk this way in front of your son. Your son doesn't need to know jmana's past bad habits and he doesn't need to know that you've worked as a stripper. All he needs to know is that his parents are growing in the right direction and setting good examples where he can be proud of them. Grow up so your son can grow up.

In that club no man was was allowed to touch...His sister went home with these guys. No man has ever touched me until i was separated.

[GQBlues]

Muzh, what were the answers?  That LFU is a porn buddy with Jmana?  Because he doesn't believe her story and jump on the bandwagon?

Hell, I don't believe her story either.  Nor do I believe Jmana.  I'm sure there are fragments of truth/reality blended with exaggerations, imagination stretches, or outright deception as is usually the case in situations such as these.  Every continued aspect of this saga dives further into the realm of a Jerry Springer trailer trash bonanza with both of them pulling new and improved, not to mention Reality TV Ready, accusations and denials to toss into the mix.

They're both a little off.  They're both "victims" as they tell it.  Both had an opportunity to take the higher road in this thread and neither did.  Everything is the other's fault.  Both have shown their decision making process to be flawed.  Both have shown a skirting of responsibility and denial of any "blame" - except, of course, for making the mistake of marrying the other.

It seems, from their own words in this exchange, that both were neither mature enough nor ready for the responsibilities of marriage.  Both needed/need to work on improving themselves and that begins with recognizing and taking responsibility for the consequences of their own bad decisions and actions.  Neither appear willing to do that because - "It wasn't me, it was HER"; "NO it wasn't me, it was HIM".

Therein lies the crux of this matter.

While I agree neither one approached  their situation commendably, however, one of them made a move in life to better oneself, regardless what other folks think of the manner in which she chose to get that education.

While the other assumed the same approached of involving/importing yet another stranger (with a child this time while already having one of his own), who already long ago admitted he doesn't really make enough money to do so and had hence since been making effort to 'cut corners' to 'save' money (flowers/ring/airfare tickets/additional trips, etc...). Fate be damned!

They both made bad judgments before, and bad decisions are fairly common for young people who figured they got all things in life figured out. But only one of them is still making it today.

[Southpaw1982]

What is up with all you people being obsessed with porn?!?!?  Are you seriously trying to tell me none of you have ever looked at it?  If so, well congratulations!!  I applaud you!  As for me, YES I have looked at it, NO I am not addicted to it.  NO my son doesn't look at it in MY home.  So can we please get off this topic?  It's annoying.

Nobody looks ay it my houme either. Kid lived with you and searched at ur home first

[jmana]

Nobody looks ay it my houme either. Kid lived with you and searched at ur home first

I don't know what he was searching for, he said he was looking up other words, not "porn", and I tend to believe him over you.  But the fact remains, no matter what he was searching for, the only place he actually looked at a porn website, was at your place.   I had filters put on his laptop so he couldn't look at that kind of stuff.  So stop beating a dead horse.

[Muzh]

What is up with all you people being obsessed with porn?!?!?  Are you seriously trying to tell me none of you have ever looked at it?  If so, well congratulations!!  I applaud you!  As for me, YES I have looked at it, NO I am not addicted to it.  NO my son doesn't look at it in MY home.  So can we please get off this topic?  It's annoying.

DUDE!!!! It is illegal to expose children to smut. Why don't you go to your nearest policeman and ask him what he thinks of you child watching porn?
 
It has nothing to do with being obssessed by some one watching porn It has to do everything with being a responsible parent and shielding your child of life altering shit.
 
And to believe some people here think this person can be a responsible father.

[GQBlues]

Dude, this is the 20th century.  You telling me you couldn't find it online?   Cmon man!...

Honestly, I wouldn't even know where and how. So the answer is 'yes'. You don't either but I'm sure you'd likely tell me you do for the sake of this discussion. Just remember, IMBRA/VAWA didn't come to legality until 2008. Their relationship, unless I'm wrong (considering their boy apparently is already 12 years old), would make their relationship starting right around 2001.

...Ah, I see. The end goal justifies everything.  Sell some drugs, but as long as you're getting an education it is all cool.  No matter if a few people die in the process, eh?

Point proven #2. Argument baseless and completely irrelevant to this matter.

...Nah man, I am not playing devils advocate but it is easy for some of you guys to try and push it that way.  I didn't comment in this thread until I read enough.  I have seen posts from both people and made up my mind from those.  Not some preconceived notion of what an MOBer is but what was written by both people.  You should try it some time....

I have and you should, too. Go beyond just this thread by jmana. His actions today alone with his latest saga easily proves my point well enough without even factoring whatever SouthPaw's inputs are.

There are definitely preconceived description and notion of what an MOBer is and jmana definitely portrays the stereotype very well, based on his actions then and his actions now with another partner.

[jmana]

DUDE!!!! It is illegal to expose children to smut. Why don't you go to your nearest policeman and ask him what he thinks of you child watching porn?
 
It has nothing to do with being obssessed by some one watching porn It has to do everything with being a responsible parent and shielding your child of life altering shit.
 
And to believe some people here think this person can be a responsible father.

   You people really don't pay attention do you??  He NEVER, I repeat NEVER viewed porn at my house.  He DID however view it at his mother's house.  He has the K-9 web filtering system on his laptop so he CANNOT view anything even remotely porn related at my house.  Hell it even blocks the pics of his nearly naked mother that she was so clueless to post online

[Muzh]

   You people really don't pay attention do you??  He NEVER, I repeat NEVER viewed porn at my house.  He DID however view it at his mother's house.  He has the K-9 web filtering system on his laptop so he CANNOT view anything even remotely porn related at my house.  Hell it even blocks the pics of his nearly naked mother that she was so clueless to post online

Okay then.
 
So, here is a woman who says it totally turned off by porn. Explain to me how junior got to smut sites at his mother's house.
 

[jmana]

Okay then.
 
So, here is a woman who says it totally turned off by porn. Explain to me how junior got to smut sites at his mother's house.

Ask her.  She left him alone with a computer for several hours while she slept.  He told me the site just popped up, and when he tried to close it another one popped up.  She made a big deal of it, he was in tears when he told me about it.  I imagine she put a big guilt trip on him.  Poor kid.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Honestly, I wouldn't even know where and how. So the answer is 'yes'. You don't either but I'm sure you'd likely tell me you do for the sake of this discussion. Just remember, IMBRA/VAWA didn't come to legality until 2008. Their relationship, unless I'm wrong (considering their boy apparently is already 12 years old), would make their relationship starting right around 2001.

No, I don't say yes if I don't mean yes even in a disagreement.  Back then, you could be right since I don't have any basis for info back then.  I do know that there are women's forums, like this, that talk about such issues and help women get help.  I couldn't say whether it was around back then or not.  Her staying with a friend does tell me she had a support network of some type.  The court system surely could have helped point her in the right direction since those organizations have a strong presence there.

Point proven #2. Argument baseless and completely irrelevant to this matter.

Only baseless because it shows a flaw in your argument.  The ends justifies the means according to you.  I disagree.  I got through college working almost full time and student loans.  These were low paying retail jobs as well.  Supposedly she also has student loans. 

I have and you should, too. Go beyond just this thread by jmana. His actions today alone with his latest saga easily proves my point well enough without even factoring whatever SouthPaw's inputs are.

There's no preconceived notion of MOBer but jmana definitely protrays the stereotype. Based on his actions then and his actions now with another partner.

I already have.  I never said I agree with what jmana has been posting.  Some of the guys here assume stuff simply because people don't agree with everything they say.  Not necessarily you, but some.  hah


Look, I already said jmana needs to fix his problems before getting married.  He should have put his kid first before bringing over a new family that he didn't even know.


That was never debateable which is why I never debated it.


You got his ex basically accusing him of everything under the sun now.  She changed her story because she didn't like what jmana was posting.


He is a rapist.
He is a porn addict.
He is a druggie.
He is an abuser.
He is a stalker.
He is a blah blah blah


She has went off on the deep end, imo.  With that, all credibility has been lost, at least for me.  They both would rather air their dirty laundry out on a forum instead of working together to bring up their own kid.   


She may have done great stuff to better her life, but her posting, in this thread, tell me not to believe what she says.  Just like I don't believe jmana's posts.  I certainly wouldn't believe a man coming here and saying these types of things about his ex.

[jone]

I'm just curious, gentlemen.

How old were all you when you saw your first Playboy?  If memory serves me correctly, I was around 12 years old.  Boy, was that a wondrous experience.  Couldn't believe things could get better than that.  But they did.

Jmana, we all went through the period of looking at naked women when we were young.  You are correct.  Very few men revert to that, however, after they are married.  But, hell, who am I to say what is right and what is wrong?

NEITHER OF YOU ARE GOING TO ONE UP THE OTHER IN THIS CONVERSATION.  INSTEAD YOU HAVE BOTH PROVEN HOW IMMATURE BOTH OF YOU ARE AND GIVEN A GREAT ROAD MAP TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DIG DIRT ON YOU IN THE FUTURE. 

QUITE HONESTLY, YOU SHOULD BOTH BE ASHAMED.

It is time to act like grown-ups now and go back to your lives and ignore the other and try to find a future bridge by which you can communicate on behalf your (mutual) son.

Unless, of course, this whole thread was a great made up story for all the readers to get excited about and distract them from the misery that is occurring in Eastern Europe, presently.

[Dewed]

He told me the site just popped up, and when he tried to close it another one popped up. 

computers do get infected by trojan viruses that do this very thing..

http://www.google.com/search?q=virus+porn+pop+up