Engagement ring? Popping the question?

[Aloe]

Thanks JayH 




cal, now that you mention it, i don't ever wear any of my rings. I do like nice necklaces though

[Gator]

I just thought it was mandatory like it is in the US. 

You are correct, it is not mandatory customary.  Yet, my experience says that RW want the best from both worlds.  They want the gallantry and flowers as customary with RM, and they want St. Valentine's Day and engagement ring as customary with AM.

I have friends who are not rich who spent months worth of their salary to get one for their girls.

Yes, they spent too much!  One does not need to go to such exorbitance.

After living with her for some time, seeing how she loves me and already agreed to marry me, I see no point in giving the expensive ring.

This comes across as cheap.  At one time you wanted to give her a ring.  Now that you see she is totally into you and wants to marry you, you will never tell her that you had an expensive ring.

I will return it and invest the money in my business and our future.

Will it matter in 5 years, 10 years, ....until death do you part?

Santo, what you seem to be missing is the symbolism of rings and diamonds - the concept of eternity...forever.   The fact that you believe this woman loves you truly is even more reason to buy GIVE her a ring.

You can probably afford a 3/4 ct diamond of good color and clarity, something she would cherish forever.  Remember that RW appreciate generosity and abhor "greedy."  And generosity does not mean it is necessary to spend more than you can afford. 

[GQBlues]

I just thought it was mandatory like it is in the US.  It's pretty sad that you need to buy an expensive ring if you plan to get married to a US girl. I have friends who are not rich who spent months worth of their salary to get one for their girls. It's a BS western consumer custom.

It's also worthwhile to mention that my mother, who is not from the US, still wears and cherishes her original engagement ring after 45 years of marriage.

I did buy an expensive ring and I brought it with me with the intent of popping the question and giving it to my girl.  After living with her for some time, seeing how she loves me and already agreed to marry me, I see no point in giving the expensive ring. I will return it and invest the money in my business and our future.

Yup. Been married for a while now and my wife have a wedding band with teeney weeny diamonds in it. You literally have to look at the ring up close to see them, "Yeppers, there's tiny diamonds in them alright!" She's the one who chose the ring. She doesn't see the symbol of a huge diamond as *proof* of my affection for her since according to her my actions is far more treasured.

For some, this is wholly subjective. For others, it is a way to 'show their love and devotion'. De Beers like the latter attitude. Just like Hallmark's Valentine's Day.

For both my wife and I, love and living is what we do everyday with one another. It's Amerika, you can be anything you want to be.

[BorisS]

Nonsense.

Seconded...

I gave my wife an engagement ring because it was important to me. Her, not so much at the time...

[Turboguy]

You can probably afford a 3/4 ct diamond of good color and clarity, something she would cherish forever.  Remember that RW appreciate generosity and abhor "greedy."  And generosity does not mean it is necessary to spend more than you can afford.

I could be all wrong on this but my gut feeling is that if the subject was ever studied the results would show that "the bigger the diamond the shorter the marriage"   

[BorisS]

I could be all wrong on this but my gut feeling is that if the subject was ever studied the results would show that "the bigger the diamond the shorter the marriage"

:-))))))))