Start now or wait?

[calmissile]

Don't make any contact until you are within 6 weeks of your travel date. 

But do a lot of preparation before this in terms of identifying the gals that you will contact, finding potential flights, getting info on apartment rentals, get your passport lined up, get visa info, etc.

You must be very, very organized in this search and approach it like a merger/acquisition in business or battle plans for war.   Make lists of all the details you need to attend to.

Be very, very prepared before you start; then go all out.

+1

[AC]

Oh I wont waste their time.  I'm am being up front about not being able to travel right away.  No need to try and start a relationship based on an immediate lie.  If they choose to stay and talk, great, if not, nothing I can do about it.  Their choice on that one.

A possible way to meet some scammers.  Most real women won't want to waste time talking to you unless you are planning to get on an airplane right away -- their work lives are very hectic and they've probably already wasted some time on previous guys who talk to them but never show up. 

[TheBullRDR]

Not much I can do about that AC.  Like I said, their choice.  May as well play a hand and see what happens.  Otherwise, it's forget about this whole thing for a while, and I'm not going to do that.

[Dave13]

Most of the guys just talk and talk! They never get their butt on the plane, so make sure before you start this process you plan on visiting no later than a few months.

[BorisS]

Most of the guys just talk and talk! They never get their butt on the plane, so make sure before you start this process you plan on visiting no later than a few months.

+1

[Muzh]

Thanks for the reply, but as I said in my introduction, I can't travel right now due to finishing my degree.  Once I get that done, I can go whenever...but not until then.  So if I shouldn't skype for too long, I should wait to begin any type of correspondance.

Don't waste yours or her time.


Finish your degree and THEN start the process.


Many of these (honest) ladies are very jaded about the MOB and if you try to drag this too long, it will be bye-bye. Only the not sincere ones will benefit from this.


Now, keep in mind I'm talking about generalizations. There are always exceptions to the rule.


However, be a practical person and tackle one big issue at a time.


Good luck.

[Gator]

Men are telling Bullrider not to contact women now.  I disagree because 1) exceptions exist and 2) he should get some experience.

One of more esteemed past members, Blues Fairy, wrote to her future husband for over a year before they met.  Blues Fairy is a very intelligent woman who wrote well and enjoyed writing.  Her husband is highly educated so perhaps they really enjoyed the correspondence phase. 

I miss Blues.   I guess she is busy with babies and toddlers.  She also was turned off by stupidity of some posters. 



Personally I see nothing wrong in Bullrider having a penpal relationship with a couple of women provided you disclose you can not travel now, you write them infrequently, and the women are fluent in English.
   
Do not write anyone whose English is "basic" or "fair" because writing is a chore for them, the substance is usually thin, and the grammar mistakes can make comprehension difficult. 

[TheBullRDR]

All good points.  Thank you

[TheBullRDR]

Well friends, I believe it has begun.  in having realistic expectations, I do not expect that a 25yr old woman that is easily in the top three best looking women I have ever seen should ever break her neck trying to talk to me.  This is exactly (yeah right) what has happened.  I will write a few letters just to get her cut and paste responses and keep everyone posted.  This has to be a bunch of B.S.    I attached a picture of her.  Let the games begin!

[Boethius]

I have to wonder what type of women you see daily.


That woman has a lovely figure, and is attractive, but objectively, no, she is not a stunning beauty, particularly not in the FSU.  So, I wouldn't be so certain she is a scammer.  However, it looks like she is in a city, so you have to consider if she'd be happy living in a small city, and whether you would look natural together.  The latter, in my experience, is a good indicator of marital success.

[TheBullRDR]

Well I've lived in alot of different places.  Traveled to even more.  And that woman is a 10 anywhere.  But I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Lets just say I will be extremely cautious when dealing with this one. 

[TheBullRDR]

I've seen your profile.
How londg do you have your profile here?I
try to get acquainted with somebody decent and interesting. If you would like
you can send some photos you don't have on the site and write me to:
"her email was here but I took ot out"
What singers and bands do you listen to? Where would you like to travel?
Sincerely,
Anastasya

sound like a normal first letter to everyone?  I'm a bit leery at the email address being in the first letter she ever sent.  I'm cautious by nature, so yes, I view everything through that prism.   prepare for the worst, hope for the best kind of thing. 

[Gator]

BullRDR,

Please do not reveal anything that could identify a woman, such as her name, her email addy, her photo.

Sincere women expect to be respected, and plastering their photos on the Internet is not respect.  Also, RWD has many lurkers and one man may already be corresponding with Anastasya.  He easily could derail you from A.   It has happened before (created havoc to Zonzon during his trip0.   

You can post appropriate excerpts from her emails.

Have you told A about your travel delays?

[TheBullRDR]

Of course I have.  And I suppose you're right.  I shouldn't have put her picture up, even though these are the ones that she has on her profile page and are already freely available.   I did remove her email address from the email I copied, just in case. 

But back to the question. As I haven't really talked with many of these people, is it normal to throw out a personal email in letter number one?  Seems a bit quick, and maybe not a red flag, at least a yellow one?  Like I said before, I'm learning as I go here.

[Gator]

Her giving you her email address is a good sign.  In fact it is suggested by RWD's Ten Commandments.


Now you can send her photos directly without posting them in your profile.  You should move to Skype after a few emails.

I remind you to trust FSUW at this stage in your thinking and your words.  You can not be scammed unless you send her money (which is a big NO NO).  A good scammer may not reveal her true colors  until she feels she has hooked you.  So do not fall in love with a photo.

Have fun and see what develops.  Already you are smitten, so pull in on your reins.  Good looking woman but I agree with  Boethius's assessment.

[TheBullRDR]

Lol.  thanks gator.  I can see where you would think so after rereading what I wrote, but let me just assure you, I am not anywhere close to smitten.  To be 100% honest I was going to delete all of it already, but you are right, I should trust that there is a person on the other end until proven otherwise.  Well, trust might be a strong word...how about assume.  At this point my ears are pricked and I'm actively searching for the tell tale signs of a scam.  I will try to rein that in a bit so it doesn't come through in emails.  Thanks again Gator.  Your advice through all of this has been invaluable. 

[I/O]

At this point my ears are pricked and I'm actively searching for the tell tale signs of a scam.

It isn't your ears that'll bring you undone.

[TheBullRDR]

It isn't your ears that'll bring you undone.

true enough. 

[Belvis]

I agree with Bull Rider. These girls look as avatars, not like real ones.  Very typical appearance aimed at west  perception, professional poses. As I understand it's expectable they appear  quick

Penpal process requires some efforts and time but certainly is a good step to get in touch with unexplored world. Besides it can become  entertaining affair.

[Patagonie]

Starting to contact any lovely FSU  butt on the internet is very exciting and funny, but at the end the chances that it will be a mess are maximum. Especially if you are in a degree.

 

[TheBullRDR]

huh?

[Faux Pas]

huh?

I'm confused, hopefully you'll enlighten me. Even if you are attending full time classes for your degree you will still have vacations, holidays and down time from school. Why can't you travel during these times? Proper planning at the right times normally will allow you 10-14 days for a visit. Working a travel schedule between semesters or well timed holiday breaks can be much easier than dealing with a work schedule. Why the hesitation to travel? You'll always have reasons to wait. You'll fare much better to find reasons, ways and means to go.

[Lily]

I have to wonder what type of women you see daily.


That woman has a lovely figure, and is attractive, but objectively, no, she is not a stunning beauty, particularly not in the FSU.  So, I wouldn't be so certain she is a scammer.  However, it looks like she is in a city, so you have to consider if she'd be happy living in a small city, and whether you would look natural together.  The latter, in my experience, is a good indicator of marital success.

I'll have to dissent - the woman in red would be considered stunning in the FSU. Height, hair, waist, legs, everything. I agree with TheBullRDR, appearancewise she would probably be a ten. At least on a photo.

I'd say her letter looks normal to me as it came from someone for whom writing is not the strong side. Perhaps not the cream of the crop intellectually. But I guess that this is not a top priority for TheBullRDR.

One thing that does not make me feel good is her first line, where she asks how long is he on the dating site. From my experience, this is something a scammer would like to know first. They want to know how desperate their new contact is..

[TheBullRDR]

Thank yo Lily,
   A good point.  But just to be clear, intelligence is a factor for me.  Like I've said before, I want the whole package.  No point in marrying someone you cant have a conversation with because she can't keep up. 

And to save on the typing, everyone just calls me Bull.  Much easier.

[AC]

I'm confused, hopefully you'll enlighten me. Even if you are attending full time classes for your degree you will still have vacations, holidays and down time from school. Why can't you travel during these times? Proper planning at the right times normally will allow you 10-14 days for a visit. Working a travel schedule between semesters or well timed holiday breaks can be much easier than dealing with a work schedule. Why the hesitation to travel? You'll always have reasons to wait. You'll fare much better to find reasons, ways and means to go.